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Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement
A tour of polyamory in America over the last 50 years. Fifty Years of Polyamory in A Guided Tour to a Growing Movement is unique among the many books about polyamory because the scope of this book is the entire history of the polyamory movement. Instead of concentrating on the experiences of a few people exploring alternate lifestyles, it is an exploration of two generations of Americans, the people and the organizations they founded, what they have chosen to do, and how it has changed their lives and affected the culture as a whole. Written in an entertaining and easily accessible style, the authors cover the history of alternative sexual relationship styles starting with a quick peek at colonial times, the Mormon and Oneida movements of the 1840s-70s, and modern day influences starting in the 1950s. Polyamory, literally “many loves,” challenges the relationship monogamy. As its name suggests, polyamory typically refers to emotional/sexual relationships that include multiple partners. Common applications of polyamory include open marriages, triad (three people), two-couple (four people) “marriages,” and larger groups like intimate networks. Swingers are a subset of non-monogamy who often identify as poly. Throughout the course of Fifty Years of Polyamory in America, we explore the history of the polyamory from clinical definitions and attempts at psychiatric treatment, to the advent of advocacy groups in the 1960s and ’70s, to contemporary practitioners and the future of the movement. A wide range of personal stories from advocates and practitioners guides the narrative to the modern day, highlighting the struggles and successes of the movement throughout the years.
162 pages, Hardcover
Published November 11, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 7, 2022
My history with polyamory has included three different polyamorous relationships during the past 20 years, with many monogamous relationships between them. But I only just now feel like I really get it.
I’ve been in my most recent poly relationship for two months, and I actually feel joy when my girlfriend gets sexual pleasure from someone else. And, for the first time, I’m going to explore my freedom inside (and outside) this relationship. No more will I be a monogamous partner to a poly person. Now, I’m truly a poly person, too. It took a LOT of mental adjusting to get here, but I feel much happier because my needs can be more successfully met by two women instead of one.
Reading this book was interesting because it taught me a lot of the history involved in the poly community. It also taught me that many poly people joined groups/communes and had to follow a lot of rules. Some of the groups even sounded suspiciously cult-like. This is not the way I view polyamory, nor is it anything I would ever do. Fortunately, people are more open about polyamory these days, so there’s not as much of a need for an entire group setting.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC. This review contains my honest, unbiased opinion.
I’ve been in my most recent poly relationship for two months, and I actually feel joy when my girlfriend gets sexual pleasure from someone else. And, for the first time, I’m going to explore my freedom inside (and outside) this relationship. No more will I be a monogamous partner to a poly person. Now, I’m truly a poly person, too. It took a LOT of mental adjusting to get here, but I feel much happier because my needs can be more successfully met by two women instead of one.
Reading this book was interesting because it taught me a lot of the history involved in the poly community. It also taught me that many poly people joined groups/communes and had to follow a lot of rules. Some of the groups even sounded suspiciously cult-like. This is not the way I view polyamory, nor is it anything I would ever do. Fortunately, people are more open about polyamory these days, so there’s not as much of a need for an entire group setting.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC. This review contains my honest, unbiased opinion.
December 31, 2022
Written in a very conversational style, which I enjoyed. I was most interested in the ways folks make poly relationships work. So much relationship wisdom
January 31, 2023
I think this book suffered from being unsure of what it wanted to be: An introduction to polyamory and organized polyamory groups? Reflections from the authors in the tradition of oral histories? An organized research project in the tradition of academic histories?
Without a clear focus, it didn't do any of these things thoroughly. It did the middle one the best, and I wish the authors had leaned into it. They both have been polyamory educators for well longer than that word has been in existence and have a wide variety of stories of the formation of the movement.
Maybe because the authors were trying to do the outer two things, the book was relentlessly positive, unwilling to say anything negative about one or groups. Having intersected some of the things mentioned in the late 2000s, I can assure you there were many strong clashing personalities, and more than enough drama to go around. Thus, I didn't feel like I was getting a full story, just some outlines. While nothing is the full story, if the authors had leaned into telling their own stories more thoroughly it would be richer. (I do expect the authors have been introducing people to polyamory for so long, they can't help but also dot that.)
The book focused on the parts of the polyamory movement that were important to the authors, which may be different from what was important to someone coming from a different part of the country or a different entry point into polyamory. For instance, there was no mention of Burning Man in the book and only one mention of "kink/BDSM".
The authors assumed some familiarity with some of their major cultural influences, such as Stranger in a Strange Land and Robert Rimmer's work.
One thing the authors didn't seem to aspire to do, but the book left weirdly open, was to reflect on how the polyamory movement is different when you no longer need the support of a larger organization to have a meetup or publish a newsletter. Again, I think more focus would have helped, with an explicit goal of only covering the era before an end point -- some logical ones might have been the creation of usenet alt.*, the worldwide web, or widespread social media use.
Light and breezy read [I read it in under four hours], with a conversational tone, this book will be interesting to people who want a sense of mid- and late-twentieth century polyamory organizations, but it left me hoping there was behind the scenes a good trove of oral histories in the Haslam Polyamory Collection with more detail and less positive gloss.
Without a clear focus, it didn't do any of these things thoroughly. It did the middle one the best, and I wish the authors had leaned into it. They both have been polyamory educators for well longer than that word has been in existence and have a wide variety of stories of the formation of the movement.
Maybe because the authors were trying to do the outer two things, the book was relentlessly positive, unwilling to say anything negative about one or groups. Having intersected some of the things mentioned in the late 2000s, I can assure you there were many strong clashing personalities, and more than enough drama to go around. Thus, I didn't feel like I was getting a full story, just some outlines. While nothing is the full story, if the authors had leaned into telling their own stories more thoroughly it would be richer. (I do expect the authors have been introducing people to polyamory for so long, they can't help but also dot that.)
The book focused on the parts of the polyamory movement that were important to the authors, which may be different from what was important to someone coming from a different part of the country or a different entry point into polyamory. For instance, there was no mention of Burning Man in the book and only one mention of "kink/BDSM".
The authors assumed some familiarity with some of their major cultural influences, such as Stranger in a Strange Land and Robert Rimmer's work.
One thing the authors didn't seem to aspire to do, but the book left weirdly open, was to reflect on how the polyamory movement is different when you no longer need the support of a larger organization to have a meetup or publish a newsletter. Again, I think more focus would have helped, with an explicit goal of only covering the era before an end point -- some logical ones might have been the creation of usenet alt.*, the worldwide web, or widespread social media use.
Light and breezy read [I read it in under four hours], with a conversational tone, this book will be interesting to people who want a sense of mid- and late-twentieth century polyamory organizations, but it left me hoping there was behind the scenes a good trove of oral histories in the Haslam Polyamory Collection with more detail and less positive gloss.
February 2, 2024
This was certainly a positive look into polyamory. Not knowing much history of it myself, gives me brief highlights of different groups of polyam people. Many had rules for their setups. It felt like there was just happy-go-lucky through this time and if I know about being in any small group of people we are not monoliths so I wonder if some details of disputes or differences were left out.
March 7, 2024
Comments from people in the fields of sexuality, anthropology, and personal dynamics.
"A beautiful homage to many of the early explorers of committed multiple relationships, also known as polyamory, and the many different expressions of this lifestyle choice. This book encourages the reader to reflect on the notions of giving and receiving love, joy, happiness, and connection as we venture through a historical summary of how polyamory has been explored by some of the early adventurers in this relationship style."
Center for Positive Sexuality
"An insider's story of the social and emotional journey of being committed to the joys and travails of creating a polyamorous community. Filled with well-researched details about many of the movement's seminal players"
Dr. Leanna Wolfe Author of 177 Lovers and Counting
"... look to Fifty Years of Polyamory in America. Here is the inside scoop on the visionaries and pioneers who brought the freedom to love openly into the mainstream, penned by two people whose lives have been spent supporting and driving these enormous cultural changes. If you’ve ever wondered how it is that your neighbors or your adult children or your parents are suddenly feeling free to talk about their outside partners and the manifold pleasures of sluthood, here’s your answer."
Janet W. Hardy, Author of The Ethical Slut.
"A beautiful homage to many of the early explorers of committed multiple relationships, also known as polyamory, and the many different expressions of this lifestyle choice. This book encourages the reader to reflect on the notions of giving and receiving love, joy, happiness, and connection as we venture through a historical summary of how polyamory has been explored by some of the early adventurers in this relationship style."
Center for Positive Sexuality
"An insider's story of the social and emotional journey of being committed to the joys and travails of creating a polyamorous community. Filled with well-researched details about many of the movement's seminal players"
Dr. Leanna Wolfe Author of 177 Lovers and Counting
"... look to Fifty Years of Polyamory in America. Here is the inside scoop on the visionaries and pioneers who brought the freedom to love openly into the mainstream, penned by two people whose lives have been spent supporting and driving these enormous cultural changes. If you’ve ever wondered how it is that your neighbors or your adult children or your parents are suddenly feeling free to talk about their outside partners and the manifold pleasures of sluthood, here’s your answer."
Janet W. Hardy, Author of The Ethical Slut.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews