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Robot Haiku: Poems for Humans to Read Until Their Robots Decide It's Kill Time
Droid makes sausages
Spicy new taste sensation.
Hey! Where is the cat? Cyborgs, Androids. Drones. T-800. HAL 9000. R-4-P17. Fembots. Autobots. Robots are everywhere--and don't let them fool you. Even if they were made to sweep your floors, they won't be happy until they've left you in the dust. In Robot Haiku , readers learn the truth about the robots that inhabit our world. From wood chipper droids to lawyerbots, these are the robots that will destroy you when you least expect it--one punchy, pithy, paranoid poem at a time!
Spicy new taste sensation.
Hey! Where is the cat? Cyborgs, Androids. Drones. T-800. HAL 9000. R-4-P17. Fembots. Autobots. Robots are everywhere--and don't let them fool you. Even if they were made to sweep your floors, they won't be happy until they've left you in the dust. In Robot Haiku , readers learn the truth about the robots that inhabit our world. From wood chipper droids to lawyerbots, these are the robots that will destroy you when you least expect it--one punchy, pithy, paranoid poem at a time!
192 pages, Paperback
First published December 18, 2010
33 people want to read
About the author
Ray Salemi
5 books10 followersRay Salemi's interests can be summed up in his education. He has a bachelor's degree in computer engineering, a minor in English, and an MBA.
This eclectic background, and an innate love of writing, has led him to write on a wide variety of topics.
Ray is a twenty year veteran of the high tech industry where he's worked in engineering, sales, marketing, and customer support, both as an individual contributor and a manager.
Ray Salemi writes crime fiction under the name Ray Daniel. His short story Communion was recently published in the Thin Ice anthology.
This eclectic background, and an innate love of writing, has led him to write on a wide variety of topics.
Ray is a twenty year veteran of the high tech industry where he's worked in engineering, sales, marketing, and customer support, both as an individual contributor and a manager.
Ray Salemi writes crime fiction under the name Ray Daniel. His short story Communion was recently published in the Thin Ice anthology.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
March 28, 2019
This is going to be fun.
There's definitely a pattern there.
This is like those seemingly innocuous things that hurt like hell. Robot haiku, Cats and Their People haiku, Pregnancy haiku. I can't stop this asinine journey, just to see how far they are willing to go.
March 28, 19
Droids never sue you
Robots don’t take vacations
Perfect employees!
*
Bible-thumping droid
Has scripture for programming:
Robotic Prophet.
*
New Robot Doctor
Speculum replaces hand:
Gynecologist.
*
Advanced Hooker-bot
Universal adaptor
Robots need love too.
There's definitely a pattern there.
This is like those seemingly innocuous things that hurt like hell. Robot haiku, Cats and Their People haiku, Pregnancy haiku. I can't stop this asinine journey, just to see how far they are willing to go.
March 28, 19
March 1, 2013
Robot haiku book
Supposed to make me laugh
For most part,did not
Robots not funny
These haiku left me wanting
Glad I got it cheap
Supposed to make me laugh
For most part,did not
Robots not funny
These haiku left me wanting
Glad I got it cheap
July 30, 2012
The Revenge of the Robots in only 17 syllables!
Chapters on Invention of the Robots, Work, Home, Play, and ending with the Destruction of Humanity, naturally.
Old Robot Barber
Reassembled lawn mower--
Another buzz cut!
Neighborhood problem--
Dead batteries on lawn.
Need robot leash law.
And my favorite--
Melodrama chip,
Irony synthesizer--
Robotic Shatner?
An on and on in a swirl of humor of the robotic kind!
Chapters on Invention of the Robots, Work, Home, Play, and ending with the Destruction of Humanity, naturally.
Old Robot Barber
Reassembled lawn mower--
Another buzz cut!
Neighborhood problem--
Dead batteries on lawn.
Need robot leash law.
And my favorite--
Melodrama chip,
Irony synthesizer--
Robotic Shatner?
An on and on in a swirl of humor of the robotic kind!
December 16, 2018
A short and funny little book. I enjoyed the witty poems that made me laugh.
January 13, 2022
It supposes to be funny. Hmmm not bad. Some of it might be funny for someone. I managed to laugh at some poem but most of them just flew like the wind.
November 7, 2017
Metal is more terrifying than tickling, at least in my experience. But Ray Salemi has me turning the other cheek and chortling along with every clever haiku. I'm glad I found this little book of laughs, but it's depressing to have found it for so cheap! I bought it with intention to give as a gift to someone, but "Robot Haiku" had me smiling through and through. It's hard to let go of this find...
If you love robots and their adorable form of destruction, or even want a glimpse of a future with an actual Bender Rodriquez take-over, then pick up "Robot haiku" and oil the gears of the closest electronic device to you. (A little grease might not keep you safe from the inevitable robot take over, but it will save you for at least another night.)
Until then, perhaps we should all learn to speak binary.
If you love robots and their adorable form of destruction, or even want a glimpse of a future with an actual Bender Rodriquez take-over, then pick up "Robot haiku" and oil the gears of the closest electronic device to you. (A little grease might not keep you safe from the inevitable robot take over, but it will save you for at least another night.)
Until then, perhaps we should all learn to speak binary.
January 19, 2011
Keep a box of tissues next to you when you read this marvelous little book!! I can't remember laughing so hard from reading anything for a very long time. Salemi is someone I would love to have around everyday, his sense of humor is fantastic!! I have repeated some of these so many times already that my kids know a few of these hilarious haikus. If you do not have a sense of humor, do not bother picking up this book. If you are looking for something to lighten your mood, take your mind off the crap of the day, or just wanting to read something new and original, get yourself a copy of this. You will not regret it.
March 4, 2015
My favorite was:
Fatal instruction
Just a little off the top
Robot Sweeney Todd
I am did not laugh out loud at. Large percentage of these poems but I feel as though I was deeply influenced by this small novelty book. I love poems; I'm specifically inclined towards haiku stance. There were loads of scifi references which I'm a fan of. I wouldn't recommend this to everyone.
Fatal instruction
Just a little off the top
Robot Sweeney Todd
I am did not laugh out loud at. Large percentage of these poems but I feel as though I was deeply influenced by this small novelty book. I love poems; I'm specifically inclined towards haiku stance. There were loads of scifi references which I'm a fan of. I wouldn't recommend this to everyone.
January 19, 2011
Another funny haiku book from Adams Media Publishers. They have also published other humorous books such as FU Haiku, Pirate Haiku, I Hate Everything, and 501 Things To Do With A Zombie all of which I have. Keep the laughs coming!!!!
January 18, 2017
One of the funnest poetry books I've ever come across. This is a book for sci-fi lovers who may not like poetry. Dip your toe into Robot Haiku and find out how fun poetry can be.
September 16, 2013
IOU's review soon....
October 20, 2012
Hilarious!
December 30, 2013
Loved it!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews