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Paradise Rules

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TRUE OR F A L S E ? It’s only a week into summer break and already seventeen-year-old Gates has . . . a) Hustled millionaires on the golf course b) Tried to stop his mother from having a(nother) nervous breakdown c) Promised to lose his virginity with his girlfriend, Mel . . . which would be great if he hadn’t already lost it to his forty-year-old godmother d) Almost killed a man Yeah, Gates has a lot of secrets, but he’s determined to keep his heart true. When he’s not swinging golf clubs like a pro, he reads pulp fiction to old folks at the retirement home. And despite his occasional slip-ups—drinking before noon and sneaking glimpses through his sexy godmother’s open negligees—Gates only has eyes for Mel. But she knows he’s hiding something, and she’s beginning to lose her patience. Just as Gates is about to spill his shameful secrets, he gets tangled up in a golf club scandal that jeopardizes his dreams of a normal life. He’s never been a fighter, but this time he finally pushes back at the world—which could have been a breakthrough but turns into an epic fail. Probably because Gates fights back dirty. Now his life is on the verge of ruin, and he’s got no one to turn to for help. Or so he thinks. Because what Gates is about to discover might hit him with the most amazing shock of his life.

304 pages, Paperback

First published July 12, 2011

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Jimmy Gleacher

6 books19 followers

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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
355 reviews11 followers
September 14, 2011
This review first appeared on my blog: http://www.knittingandsundries.com/20...

First Sentence: I wish I could say I was a victim but I willingly played into the devil's hands.

Gates is a self-described sexual deviant, 17 years old, working as a caddy at a country club. His mother had a nervous breakdown two years ago, and he was molested by his godmother Alicia, a child psychologist and his mom's best friend. Since they still live with Alicia, the molestation continues, and it's causing Gates problems with his girlfriend, who would like to sleep with him.

I know that many readers would find this book hilarious. I'm not one of them. Most of the adults here do nothing but take advantage of and/or ignore the teens, with the clubhouse owner using Gates to win illegal bets, a clubhouse patron who gives Gates the nickname of "Fun Buns" because he can't keep his hands off his bum, and more.

Gates is likeable (he even volunteers to read to seniors at the local retirement home); his bestie named Timmy is a model with OCD who repeats the final word of every sentence three times; and his girlfriend Melanie is a jock and his best friend. Unfortunately, almost every single adult in the novel is eminently unlikeable or at best, definitely not in the realm of "normal".

I've seen this one described as "irreverent", "provocative", and "bold", but for this reader, molestation is not a funny subject. Here is a teen whose life is in the crapper, and there is really no one there to help pull him out. There's a bit of a surprise at the end, but it wasn't enough to redeem the rest. If it were billed as an adult book, I might give some of it a pass, but it's billed as YA. In my opinion, this is an adult novel written about a teen, and is definitely not one I'd encourage for the younger YA set. Again, my disclaimer is that certain readers will LOVE this - it IS different. I never felt a connection to the characters, and much of what happens was not funny or even interesting to me.

QUOTES (from an eGalley; may be different in final copy):

Anyway, I was actually very attracted to Melanie but I couldn't sleep with her until she knew the real me but the only problem was as soon as she knew the real me she wouldn't want to sleep with me anymore.


Mom spoke the words in a way that suggested she knew but I convinced myself this wasn't possible because I didn't want to believe Mom would ignore her best friend molesting me.

Sensitive Reader: This one is not for you. Profanity and sexuality abound.

Writing: 4 out of 5 stars
Plot: 3 out of 5 stars
Characters: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Reading Immersion: 2.5 out 5 stars

BOOK RATING: 3 out of 5 stars
2 reviews
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October 7, 2019
I think that Paradise Rules is a really good book. I liked how the author used a lot of detail. And when the plot would rise he would make you wait to read and it was exciting.
Profile Image for Cassie.
753 reviews1 follower
June 8, 2013
Go to my summer giveaway contest!
http://happybooklovers-a-gogo.blogspo...


This was so vastly different from most young adult books that I read — you can just tell from the synopsis. I mean, the book starts with Gates's godmother walking around his house naked just so she can have sex with him. He's a sympathetic kid, and it's clear that he means well, but he can't help himself and falls prey to her multiple times through the novel. And if that wasn't bad enough, his mother should clearly not have custody of him (but she's the only one), has mental breakdowns and will disappear for days at a time, leaving Gates alone with his godmother and to fend for himself. He doesn't want to do any of this, and it's easy to sympathize with Gates (he's the narrator, so we can see that he's really trying to change and stop the situation) and want to help him out. But even when Gates was in situations he didn't like, his voice and narration was always funny, and you could tell most of it was said with a sarcastic air.

The author tackled rough subjects head-on — psychological issues, rape, divorce, alcoholism, and more. They're all here. And it was so interesting to see them from a seventeen-year-old male's point of view. It made it much more realistic. The approach taken as well was humorous, which added to the realism. It may not make much sense, but that's how Gates seemed to handle everything, with denial and a few jokes, so when problems emerged, he did the same. I was extremely impressed with how realistic this book was in terms of approaches to problems (especially when the parents have problems) and how their children, in particular, dealt with them.

And as a last little bit on the book — GOLF! This was the first YA book I've read (ever, that I can remember) that had golf as a side plot. Nice work! I love when authors mix it up, even with a sport I'm not interested in, but still manage to hook me to the book. Paradise Rules was so different and such a nice change of pace from the usual book you can pick up.
37 reviews2 followers
July 11, 2011
Originally Posted on Strawberry Splash Book Reviews

Gates, a seventeen year old from Colorado, has gone through a lot this summer. He has a deal with the owner of the golf club he is a caddy at: win lots a money off of millionaires in golf and he can play on the course. He also has been having sex with his 40 year old godmother even though he said he was going to lose his virginity to his girlfriend Mel. He loves his girlfriend and only his girlfriend but he can't sleep with her while hiding all his secrets and she knows he is hiding something. His mom has nervous breakdowns and has tried to kill herself so he has no one to turn to and his life is starting to fall apart.

I thought this books was very good. I really enjoyed it. I think most people can relate to Gates. I mean I haven't had sex with someone twice my age or played in high stakes golf competitions but I understand being pressured to hide big things like that to protect other people. I liked his OCD friend, Timmy Timmy Timmy. He was definitely my favorite character in the book.

I think the book was well written and I would love to read more of Jimmy Gleacher's books. The only reason this book doesn't get five stars is because it took a little while for me to actually get into the book. The beginning is a little slow but I really liked the ending.

I definitely recommend this book to any of my blog readers that read adult fiction. It comes out tomorrow so go buy it. Thanks to S&S for the chance to read the book early!
Profile Image for Lizzy.
281 reviews34 followers
July 18, 2012
Gates has one crazy chaotic life. He's got a mother who hasn't been present in his life since her "breakdown", and a godmother who is all sorts of vile. His girlfriend is worried that he doesn't find her beautiful, and the majority of his income comes from ripping people off during golf games. If that doesn't intrigue you I'm not sure what will.

I'm fairly certain that in Alicia I found my most hated character of 2011. Even as I'm writing this review I'm still thinking about how horrible she is! She's a well-developed character, but due to her lack of redeeming qualities, I have a feeling that every single person who reads this book will despise her. It's pretty clear in the synopsis of the book how she takes advantage of people. In the book her background as a psychologist has given her all the ammo that she needs to manipulate others to do as she pleases. Her impact on Gates is extremely negative, and will follow him for the rest of his life. Although, in a way it's because of all the emotional turmoil caused by her that Gates is able to grow as a character. He sees the person that he is around Alicia, and makes a conscious decision to move forward.

There is a fair amount of swearing and discussions around/scenes involving sex, and since some readers tend to avoid that I did want to mention it in this review. Gleacher gave us a well-written YA story from the male perspective that was both funny and heartbreaking. He never shied away from the tough subjects, and I really appreciated the way the story unfolded because of that. The male point of view is a rarity in YA fiction, and I'm hoping to see more of it from Gleacher.
Profile Image for Katie.
51 reviews
February 23, 2012
Paradise rules” wasn’t like any other book I’ve ever read. First of, it has a male protagonist, who describes the events very well. Secondly, there’s a lot of golf involved. As a non golf player I found it very difficult sometimes what they were talking about in the book, but it was nice anyways. I really liked the different characters in the book as well: first Gates’ mom, who is really special and unpredictable, then his godmother, who’s sleeping with him (and there are many details about what they are doing) and then his girlfriend and friends, who are not common at all.

But I really enjoyed the storyline, which was nicely described and had a great happy ending, which was touching. I already suspected something like this, but it was nice to finally find it out. There were also many flashbacks, so you could get to know Gates’ character better. I really liked the “adventures” gates had as well, because they were really different. Best was his boss at the golf court, who was unpredictable and a total gamer. I enjoyed the different characters best, because they made the story interesting, so you did want to know what happens to Gates. I also liked how he helped out at the retirement home, so I always looked forward to these passages.

Overall it was a nice book, but I think I wouldn’t have picked it up at a bookstore. If you like a book that’s not so common and don’t mind passages containing sex, then you could probably like this book.
Profile Image for Julie.
166 reviews9 followers
July 13, 2011
I rated this book a 3.5 on my blog: http://onebookshy.blogspot.com

This was a fun book to read with quite a few laughs and definitely some groans thrown in. Gates isn't a bad kid by any means, he just doesn't always think with his brain. (Of course that describes how many 17 year old males?)

The characters that populate this book are very well written. Many of them come across as people that we might have in our own lives. Gates is a very sympathetic kid as he really does have a great heart. He loves his girlfriend Mel and really does try to do things right by her, it just doesn't always go well. The fact that he goes to the retirement home on his own and has a close relationship with an old man there is one of his bright spots. Some of his choices in other areas shine a light on his age and his homelife.

Gates' mother is pretty much useless. I flat out didn't care for her at all. Then we have his godmother who is a real piece of work. Alicia is just wrong wrong wrong - on many levels. I won't delve into it as her issues are a large piece of the story. It is a very interesting part she plays.

The plot moves along quickly and it really isn't until close to the end of the book that I figured out where it was going. The author does a nice job of keeping the intensity up and the action flowing. I enjoyed how everything played out and I do hope that Mr. Gleacher is working on a sequel.
Profile Image for Jen.
267 reviews
September 9, 2011
UGH!!! I don't even know where to start with this review. I will say that the quotes from others about the book are pretty accurate: "Hilarious, disturbing and stylish" "Ballsy and bold" "Alternately sweet and dark...there is humor woven into every beautiful page"

I was laughing out loud as I started the book - only 5 pages in, which is always a good sign. I LOVE a good narrator and Gates is AWESOME! You can't help but LOOVE this kid, but his life is SO F'd UP that it actually made me cry. In my opinion it kind of negated the FUNNY aspects of the book at times, but I also have an annoying amount of compassion and just felt like KICKING THOSE STUPID SELFISH ADULTS ASSES throughout the entire book. And the rest of the colorful characters in this book were awesome. Mel - what's not to love about her, which Gates clearly gets, thank goodness! And 3T - what an awesome guy to have as a best friend?! I just kept praying that the author wasn't going to leave me feeling as abused as Gates was and he DID NOT! I was SO happy with how the book came together and how he left us. I don't think Gates is going to be a character I soon forget.

This book is a little bit tough as it contains a lot of dark sexual content that some might find disturbing...I had trouble with some parts of it, but am glad that I didn't put it down because it really demonstrates a triumph of spirit when it really seems like all hope is lost. Gates wasn't gonna go down without a fight - and for that I LOVE HIM.
Profile Image for Mary  BookHounds .
1,303 reviews1,965 followers
July 24, 2011
Gates loves his girlfriend Mel, he earns extra money by hustling golf players at a country club as a caddy, his mother is just about to have a breakdown and he stumbles on something that may just change his "normal" life. Mel knows something is wrong but just can't put her finger on it and when Gates finally decides to open up, he has what can only be described as an "epic fail". Just when he thinks he can no longer deal, he finds a strength that was there all along.

This book has everything to make me happy! I loved the tone and humor that really worked with the very believable characters. Gates' friend Timmy,an OCD afflicted teen that must repeat the last word he says three times and thus becomes Timmy, Timmy, Timmy or 3T, quickly became my favorite. Lu, Gates' boss at the golf club, has more misguided plans that you can imagine and when he wants to make a point, he spouts Confucius like statements and his Amazing Adventure which is really quite far from reality in a bid to save his house. The story reminded me a bit of Christopher Buckley, so if you like off the wall humor, you will love this as much as I did.
Profile Image for Haley.
324 reviews
September 22, 2014
I won this book in a giveaway several years ago, and I had no idea what it was about until I started reading (or maybe I did and had just forgotten). I wasn't expecting the book to deal with such a heavy and serious topic as statutory rape.

I really just thought this book was okay. My biggest reason for that is just that I couldn't get into the story at all. The story made me uncomfortable, and that could have been a good thing considering the subject matter. However, I think a lot of those feelings were because I didn't think the issue with Gate's godmother was handled well. At the ending especially, it all left a bad taste in my mouth because I didn't think it was handled the way it should have been. At times the story seemed to get scarily close to glorifying it, and I was constantly worried that it would end that way. In the end, it wasn't really glorified, but it was never resolved either, which left me feeling very frustrated.

Beyond that though, I just wasn't into the story at all. It could have been worse, but I probably wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

http://hmweasley-blog.blogspot.com/20...
162 reviews3 followers
July 15, 2011
When I read the first few pages I thought oh crap a book for teenagers.
But I was so wrong. Yeah a teenager would love this book. But so would a fifty year old woman.
The characters are well developed and interesting no one is boring is this book.
But lots of people are just so wrong.
Gates has a major crises in is life and no one to help him.
I am sure lots of us have felt that way at one time or another.
Gates has lots of people in his life and no one to understand his problem. He attempts a few times to talk about it but no one takes him seriously.
He could tell Mel she would probably understand and help him but it is to much of a risk for him to take the chance on losing her.
The book was very entertaining and disturbing at the same time, Gates is a interesting character and you want to know what is going to happen next in is totally screwed up life.
Great read
1,463 reviews22 followers
July 17, 2013
If you want a dark funny book, this one delivers! An entertaining look at growing up in a dysfunctional situation, interspersed with the kind of people who do what they want and seek pleasure anyway they can get it, no matter how much wreckage they leave behind. The main Character Gates who just finished his junior year in high school, just can't seem to find "normal people" His mom is a crazy bisexual, his god mother started having an affair with him when he was 15, He is a scratch golfer who swindles golfers at the local country club, and his girlfriend's parents are both drunks who hit on him. As if this weren't enough, the book takes place in Boulder, and Aspen Colorado, which are certainly two of the most liberal, crazy hypocritical places on the planet. I loved this book.
146 reviews2 followers
November 24, 2011
If I could give this book two and a half stars, I would. Frankly, I'm not sure what I think about it, because it's about a seriously dysfunctional teenager, coping with a seriously dysfunctional family life. It's meant to be funny, and parts of it are, but it's so sad too. Luckily, it's fiction, so I don't have to feel badly for Gates, the main character.

Profile Image for Rekara-Neal.
70 reviews2 followers
September 10, 2016
I really liked this book. I read it quickly and it was witty and I was never sure of what to expect. Gates has interesting experiences, some of them I wish that I could have. Some I wish would never happen to anyone.

The book is not heavy with context and background. It's vivid; giving you only what you need to move forward, which is refreshing compared to the dense things I've read lately.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews

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