Birdie & Harlow: Life, Loss, and Loving My Dog So Much I Didn’t Want Kids

by Taylor Wolfe

The funny and poignant story of one woman’s wonderfully codependent relationship with her dog – and what he taught her about chosen family and the reward of motherhood. Birdie & Harlow  is the story of a baby and a dog. But motherhood is never quite that simple. In Taylor Wolfe’s case, it’s a long, zigzagging and winding road. Meant to be a last-minute anniversary gift for her then boyfriend (and now husband), the highly-energetic and loud-mouthed Vizla puppy named Harlow turns out to be the best snap decision twenty-year-old Taylor ever makes—and the beginning of the most epic friendship she ever has. As Wolfe’s resistance to 9-5’s and traditional adulthood grows, Harlow becomes the perfect companion for her eccentricities in a world that thrives on conformity. Wolfe’s twenties—full of pitfalls and surprises, sad days and silver linings—led her to the realization that life is too short to spend your days in a crate (or a cubicle), that parks are meant to be enjoyed, and most importantly, she wants to be a mom. But  really, isn't she one already?  A charming and touching memoir,  Birdie & Harlow  is a tribute to the many expressions of modern motherhood, to both human and fur babies alike. Taylor’s story reminds all of us that life will surprise you and that families should come in every shape and size.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Humor, Book Club, Dogs, Biography

272 pages, Hardcover

Published September 19, 2023

Reviews

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did I take both of my dogs on a big long walk so I could finish this book while sobbing my eyes out in nature while watching them live their best lives? Yes. Yes I did.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sobbed my eyes out multiple times because our experiences were so similar.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Birdie and Harlow is a touching and beautiful memoir about love, loss and grief.

I was happily surprised when I found out that one of my favorite comedians, Instagram influencers and all-around nice person was writing a book! I couldn't wait for her to finish it so I could read it. I was able to listen to the audiobook and it's a plus that Taylor narrated it herself. I am sure she reads it the way she meant it to come across. The pauses, the sighs and laughs included.

I have followed her on insta since 2020 so there were some things I knew from what she had shared on her account, but in her book, she shares her life with us.

I laughed and cried as I listened to her tell of her joys and hardships. She shares her raw feelings and through them I was able to relate and process some of my own.

It was a pleasure to read!

trigger warnings: chronic illness, death of a pet and child through miscarriage.

[readwithmichele · Rating 5 out of 5]

BOOK:  Birdie & Harlow: Life, Loss, and Loving My Dog So Much I didn’t Want Kids (…Until I Did)
AUTHOR: Taylor Wolfe @thedailytay on IG
PUB DATE:  9/19/23 by HarperOne
PAGES:  272
RATING:   ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
GENRE:  Nonfiction/Memoir

“I saw Chris as a young boy playing in the woods by his cabin, and I realized it felt like we’d found the place we’d always been searching for as children, and I guess as adults too.  ‘How did you know this is what we were looking for, Har?’, I asked.  He jumped from the boulder and came back to my side. ‘How did you not?’.”

AUTHOR RECOGNITIONS:  Taylor Wolfe is a writer and has kept a long-standing online blog at www.thedailytay.com.  She has a large IG following and is known for her outrageously comedic skits and heartwarming feed & story posts of her beloved family.  She’s married to husband, Chris, is the proud mom to her two daughters, Birdie and Goldie, and is a loving pup mom to their two vizslas, Gunny and Vinny.  They live in their beautiful new home up in the PNC. 

REVIEW:   I’ve been following Taylor since 2019 on IG, and she’s one of my Top 5 whose page I check at least once a day.  If you don’t presently, do yourself a favor & give her a follow!  She and I had DM’d a few times last year about this book she was writing.  When I learned it was soon to be published in a few months, I reached out to HarperOne directly and asked if I might be given an advanced copy to read in exchange for my review. Needless to say, it felt like Christmas when I heard back in a few hours, granting me a copy.  I had followed her journey the last few years with her beloved vizsla, Harlow (aka, Har, aka Carl) along with her moves from Chicago to Denver (through COVID) and on to the PNW.  I especially looked forward to the videos of Har, being the dog-loving pet-sitter that I am.  This book brought so much more to life for me!  The conversations she & Harlow would have (yes, he talked to her – every day) had me barreling over laughing.  This book is incredibly heartwarming AND heart-wrenching.  You WILL need tissues!  They both endured the highs & lows of life, side by side, & their relationship was so special & such a gift, there really is no word to describe its beauty.  I will cherish this story always and will be gifting everyone in my family a copy for the holidays!

Happy Reading!

[Erin Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book solely based on the title not knowing anything about Taylor, her story, or her Instagram following. A great short read with humor and heart! She so perfectly encapsulated how special it is to be a dog mom while also navigating life’s big decisions in your 30s. Gave my pup a million extra cuddles after this one 🥹(and also sobbed into his fur for 10 minutes😭).

[Jamie Rossi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered this book on pre-order long ago, and when it arrived, we had recently learned that my 2-year-old vizsla had a large mass in his chest. I started the book with him at my feet, and finished it without him.

I cried my whole way through the book because it was as if she had an inside look into my bond with Zeke, and could bring to life our relationship. I loved reading her dialogue with Harlow, because if you have a vizsla, you know how much they communicate with us. If you have lost a dog, particularly your heart dog, the ending is heartbreakingly painful, but helped me feel less alone in my grief.

Every piece of the book was so relatable. Taylor could make you cry, and then laugh while crying. I think all dog lovers will enjoy this book, but bring the tissues! She’ll remind you to give your dog the best days, everyday, and remind you that doing so doesn’t make the end any easier, but that’s okay, because you gave them the life they deserved, every damn day.

[Kait Hanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been looking forward to Taylor’s book since she told me it was coming out. As a long time follower, I knew the ending and made a mental note but it didn’t prepare me because I’d how thoughtfully engaging Taylor’s writing is! Instead, I read all of it but the last three chapters until I felt mentally strong enough to conquer them. When I finally did, I cried tears I didn’t even know I had in me. This book changed me and is firmly wedged in my top 5!

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished this while snuggling my perfect soul dog which I plan to do forever and ever 😭 this book was so relatable, hysterically funny and also heartbreaking to read, all at the same time. Such a special book for a special boy ❤️

[Maggie Pittman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got pretty emotional listening to this because it hit very close to home. A good one to pick up if you have kids and a “first-born” dog you love(d) dearly.

Note: this is by Taylor from thedailytay on Instagram. She narrates the audiobook and I recommend it.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir. I love reading about people in similar life stages to me - so much of motherhood is difficult to put into words. Taylor's story was so beautifully written and had me laughing and crying out loud.

[Maegan Burson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved. Beautifully written. Taylor is relatable as a mom, dog owner, wife and person in general. She’s also refreshingly honest in this book. I laughed out loud and cried. I love that she narrated for her dog. Adorable. Just a really cute and lovely book to read, bringing in the new year.

[Keshia Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

“…there’s no sense in trying to compare what we carry, because the only weight we ever really know is the one we’re pulling.”

[Haley Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG 😭😭😭

[Shanna Hutcheson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would honestly give this book 10 stars if I could. I listened to it on audio and loved it. Taylor did a great job of reading it and I have followed her on Instagram for years, so it was a fun listen. This book made me smile, laugh, and cry, and as a dog mom and human mom, I found it so relatable throughout. We’ve had several similar experiences, and I had to put my dog down a few years ago, also named Har (Harley), and just really appreciated her perspective on grief after different types of losses that she shared. Highly recommend this book!

[Teresa Ahrens · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my adult life I have not had or wanted to have a dog so why a 5 star? Is it b/c the author finds her dog and spends puppy-dom in KS, where I live, or refers to NE and Omaha where I spent my teenage and early 20's, or because the conversations between Tay and Har are touching, hilarious, and real? It doesn't matter because I loved this book! Could have gone without reading the last predictable chapter because I ugly cried while on my walk and ran into my neighbor walking his big beautiful dog. I hope he gave his dog a hug and a parmesan-topped meatball when they got home:)

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much and I am so happy I saved it for my last read of 2023. I laughed and cried so much. Reading the book, Taylor's humor carried me through the heavy losses. I felt like she was reading my mind in the many situations of hers that I have a similar experience of. I cannot recommend this book enough.

[whatjordanreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Birdie & Harlow
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
📚 Memoir
🎶 Going Up the Country - Canned Heat (obvious choice)

One sentence synopsis:
A funny and poignant story of one woman’s wonderfully codependent relationship with her dog and what he taught her about chosen family and the reward of motherhood.

My review:
Allow me to introduce you to my favorite memoir by a “normal” person (aka not a celebrity). To be fair, it’s hard to compete with memoirs by Viola Davis and Barack Obama but I’m putting this one in the same favorites category.

And while there is nothing overly interesting about a person who is a dog lover and new mom, I knew I had to read it. Full disclosure though, I’ve been a follower of @thedailytay for many years and I knew if her book was half as entertaining as her account is it was going to be at least 3.5⭐️. Those are good odds.

Anyways, as I was reading I quickly realized I resonated with almost every paragraph and had to restrain myself from sharing it all because I felt so seen. It’s magic. She perfectly put into words how being a new mom to a baby is. There was at least one paragraph, sometimes two on each page, that I could have easily highlighted/underlined with explanation points. Being a mom (especially a new mom) is LOADED with soooooo much and she flawlessly described pretty much all of it in the most mater of fact and hilarious way.

And then we get to the parts where she talks about her dog, Harlow. And oh my god. How she infused his personality into the pages I’ll never know. The “conversations” she has with Harlow are just perfection and honestly made me a little jealous I can’t talk to my dog, Hank, like that.

I laughed out loud but I also balled my eyes out. I ugly cried. Couldn’t breath through my nose, and despite my best efforts to reduce them, woke up with puffy eyes.

I don’t know if you have to be a mom or a dog lover for this kind of memoir to resonate with you, because I’m both of those things. But I sure as hell hope not because every person on my Christmas list who’s a reader is getting this book this year!

✨ Thank you so much @harperonebooks for my gifted copy!!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read my physical copy I was lucky enough to obtain and have signed by the author at her book reading at The Bookworm in Omaha. It was a wonderful event followed by an amazing reading experience. This book will hit you hard, but it’s such a raw and honest take on motherhood that was honestly refreshing to hear. It’s also obviously about pet loss, and what it truly means to lose an animal that is also your best friend. I loved this so much and can’t recommend it enough. Please pick up a copy and not only enjoy a wonderful, thoughtful, and truthful book, but support this first time author.

[Tess Bogle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book a million stars. Taylor and Harlow’s story resonated so heavily with me and was so incredibly relatable I felt like I couldn’t flip the pages fast enough. This one will get the tears flowing, but I highly recommend this book to any other dog parents out there who want a sometimes goofy, sometimes heart wrenching, genuine read about the journey of dog parenthood.

[Kate Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really wanted to love this but had a hard time getting into it. And trigger warning for anyone who has a senior dog 😓

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 ⭐️
Whew, what an emotional rollercoaster! The author's comedic approach to an emotional story had me both laughing and crying. I identified with SO MUCH that it felt like she could read my thoughts. I'm not sure if I've cried this much EVER in a book, especially non-fiction. Gotta go pull myself together now...

[Leah Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gosh I feel so seen!!! Loved the way she put into words her bond with Harlow. I felt like I related to so much about her story. Finding a book like this that speaks to your soul is one of the best things about reading. I SOBBED. ♥️

[Bailey Daye · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has a soul dog, this really resonated with me. I found myself relating to so many of her stories and putting words to feelings I've had for a long time.

[Katie Baechler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good. I cried so many times and just want to go hug my dog. Had to actually go on a walk with my dog to finish the ending and ugly cried ❤️🐶

[Brenda McCrum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed and I cried. Could relate to so many things. Loved it

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this 10 stars I would! I recommend this book to anyone who is a mother or a pet owner (also a parent). Literally knew nothing about the author prior to reading her story, just thought a book about the bond between a woman and her dog sounded interesting. Will be one of the best books of the year for me. Was fortunate enough to attend a book signing and get my book signed. Taylor Wolfe is funny, charming and very authentic.

Birdie and Harlow is the story of the bond between a woman and her dog from puppyhood through death. Along the way, the author gets married and has a child. Such an honest look at motherhood. The challenges, anxiety and joy. I wish more women were as open and honest about the realities of being a mother. I am over the glossy “perfect” photos and stories shared on social media. Nothing in life is that easy. Anyone who has spent time with children as a parent, aunt, babysitter or restaurant patron watching a toddler melt down knows kids are hard. Her stories about being a human and dog parent were funny and heartbreaking. Wolfe shares her challenges with her pregnancy and delivery.

The sections with Harlow resonated the most with me. I have felt the joy and trauma of life with pets.
Animals give us so much and expect so little in return. Having Harlow speak in the novel completely worked in my opinion. I often feel like I am communicating with my cat even if we aren’t really speaking the same language. The end of Harlow’s life was rough to read. It allowed me to reflect and think about many animals I have loved and lost. Wolfe’ s comments on the time limit on pet grief is all too real.

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and then I cried so much I was a puddle. All of the emotions are covered. Highly recommend this book! It will be kept on my forever bookshelf.

[Barb (Boxermommyreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's really a good thing I didn't look too closely at the cover (or I'd have seen the "until I did" in parenthesis after the title) or read the synopsis too well or the chances are good I'd have missed out on this book which brought me so much joy and so many tears. I never had the desire to have a kid, and many people believe that to feel that way is abnormal. Luckily, because of some other issues which are highly personal and that I won't go into, I also felt no pressure from my family to procreate (the issues not so great but the subsequent outcome definitely helpful). I hate the pressure women feel that to be "normal" they need to have children. I don't hate children, in fact, I've spent the last 30 years working with and advocating for them. But my children are my dogs and that is completely by choice and luckily, I met someone who feels the same way.

Given all of that though, I settled down to read a book I thought was about a wonderful relationship with a family pet and for the most part, I still got that, with just a side of baby thrown in. In this memoir, Wolfe journals her 10 years with her child and best friend, Harlow the Vizla. She purchased Harlow on a whim never knowing her life would never be the same. For 10 years, she and her boyfriend, and now husband, navigated life, including job changes, several moves, covid, and eventually a baby with Harlow by their sides. Wolfe includes conversations with Harlow as she knows in her heart Harlow speaks to her and only she can hear and understand him. These were some of my favorite parts.

Like all great dog stories, I knew this one had an ending in sight. And let me tell you I sobbed. I was sitting on the couch hoping my husband didn't see the tears streaming down my face because I knew it would cause me to further break down. Never had I had someone put into words so exactly my relationship with my darling Cassius. And while this book hit too close to home at times, I don't regret reading it and overall, reading it was a beautiful experience. I hope Cassius has run into Harlow since he has passed because I'm sure they would have lots in common and could spend days telling each other about their crazy human soulmates. If you love dogs (and don't mind kids) read this book!

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gutted me from the inside out. What an emotional roller coaster. We all know dogs leave a permanent spot in our hearts. What a beautifully written, raw, and somehow funny tribute to Harlow. And the fact that Birdie’s middle name is Harlow………..
But the part that especially gutted me:
Harlow: “I think I know now.”
Tay: “What do you know?”
Harlow: “That she’s good for us.”
Tay: “Who, Har?”
Harlow: “Birdie. I wasn’t sure at first, but now I know. She can make you guys happy.”
Tay: “Oh, Har. You’ve made us so happy - happier than I could ever tell you.”
Harlow: “And now Birdie will. See, you wanted to make sure I wasn’t in pain, but I had to do the same for you, because that’s always been my job. And I couldn’t leave until I knew.
But now I know.”

*sobs*

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is this book for everyone? No, probably not. Was this book for me? Yes. I cried multiple times while listening to the audiobook. Her story of miscarriage was like she took my own feelings and put them into her book, which was validating. It made me think about my sweet childhood dog several times as she talked about her love for her dog.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book is pretty hilarious but there are some sad parts that made me choke up. I can relate to the author's close bond with her dog as I am extremely close to my 10 year old dog, whom ice had since she was 5 months old. I dread the day when she passes away.
I can honestly say Harlow's parents gave him his best life.