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Milk: On Motherhood and Madness

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A map of motherhood, Milk is at once a gentle and meditative story of one woman’s experience of new motherhood as well as a confronting and often painful examination of the experience of having children in contemporary Ireland. Alice Kinsella is a young mother, giving birth to her son in her mid-twenties, adrift in a new town and navigating her newly accompanied life.

A powerful and yet delicate mix of the personal and political, Milk is an unflinching and unique memoir that looks at the experience of motherhood against the backdrop of a seemingly changed Ireland.

192 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 9, 2023

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Alice Kinsella

9 books3 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
Profile Image for Rebecca.
4,191 reviews3,453 followers
October 10, 2023
Kinsella is an Irish poet who became a mother in her mid-twenties; that's young these days. In unchronological vignettes dated in relation to her son's birth - the number of months after, or negative numbers to indicate that it happened before - she explores her personality, mental health and bodily experiences, but also comments more widely on Irish culture (the stereotype of the 'mammy'; the only recent closure of Magdalene laundries and overturning of anti-abortion laws) and theories about motherhood.

I liked the book most when the author stuck close to her own sensory and emotional life; I've read so much about Winnicott and Bowlby that I didn't need to hear any more about them. I also thought it was unnecessary for her to segue into a late argument against the dairy industry. Overall, the book is too long. An editor should have reined her in and made it more focused and less repetitive, probably by cutting all the titled essays and just sticking to the time-stamped pieces. As it is, I only read a few pages at a time, keeping it as a bedside book during the two spells I had it out from the library. And that is probably the better way to read it, as too many pages at a stretch would highlight how scattered it can be and how redundant some entries feel.

At its best, though, this is a poetic engagement with the tropes and reality of motherhood, sometimes delivered in paragraphs that more closely resemble verse:
"+1 I have become the common myth. Mother. The sleepy hum of early memories. The smell of shampoo, of Olay, of lavender. The feeling of safety. The absence of fear."

"+2 There's a possibility,
that we are among the happiest
people in the world:
mothers."

"[Record freeze preserve.] Fighting death by reproducing our days. Fighting death by reproducing. Here: your life on paper. Here: their life to come."

"We're expected to be mothers the instant we lock eyes with our baby. To shed everything we were and be reborn: Madonnas."

"I don't want to grow old over a stove. I don't want to be the butt of jokes I'm not in on. I don't want to lose myself."

"The baby's favourite thing to do is sit on my lap and interact with other people. This is what mothers are for, I think. Comfort, security, a place to get to know the world from."

The language is gorgeous, and even though Kinsella complains of disorientation to the point of worrying about losing herself (the subtitle's reference to 'madness' seemed to me like overkill compared to other memoirs I've read of postpartum depression, trauma or psychosis, such as Birth Notes by Jessica Cornwell or Inferno by Catherine Cho), she comes across as entirely lucid.

Her goal here is to find and add to the missing literature of motherhood, in much the way Jazmina Barrera, another young mother and writer, attempted with Linea Nigra. It would also make a good companion to A Ghost in the Throat by Doireann Ní Ghríofa.

Kinsella is among my predictions for the Sunday Times Charlotte Aitken Young Writer of the Year Award shortlist, along with Eliza Clark (Penance) and Tom Crewe (The New Life).
Profile Image for Graham Connors.
403 reviews26 followers
May 6, 2023
Another book I picked up on a whim after seeing it recommended as one of the top Irish books to read in 2023. I'm not a woman, a mother, or even a parent, but I don't think you need to be any of those things to get something from this book.

I enjoyed how Alice Kinsella structured this account of her own pregnancy, flitting between x months into her pregnancy to x months after birth and back again, keeping the reader on their toes. Her honesty is her greatest asset here (her talent at writing is a given), she tells it like she experienced it and while every pregnancy is different I am sure there is so much here that is relatable for so many women (I can only speak of my listened experience as my sister and my female friends told me their maternal stories.

Would I recommend this book? Yes, very much so. Some might even say its essential reading!
334 reviews
March 29, 2023
This was a stream of consciousness, pitch-perfect exploration of the early days of motherhood. I related to this so deeply, it was almost jarring.
65 reviews1 follower
January 25, 2023
A raw description on the life-altering step of becoming a mother, the power of women, and the failings of society experienced by women. Alice Kinsella's debut is a powerful read I had to step away from it for a number of weeks as a lot of the writing resonated with my own experiences. The style of writing takes a bit of adjustment to get used to but the scattergun style captures so beautifully the mind of a new mother. The timeline changes from chapter to chapter described in terms of +/- months of the birth of her child and captures the impact it has on most of all her mind sometimes beautiful and sometimes heartbreaking. Kinsella also portrays the barriers to women in society with a focus on her journey to become a mother.
Fans of Doireann ni Ghriofa's "A Ghost in the throat" will find much to love in this. A wonderful debut.
Profile Image for Marta ౨ৎ˚.
464 reviews
April 25, 2025
Alice Kinsella's "Milk" is a poetic memoir and a collection of the author's reflections on being a mother. The fragments that make up the book jump from before having the baby to after in a nonlinear way, which allows you as a reader to see how her point of view shifts and evolves. The author's reflections feel very personal and true to the context the author lives in (a young mother — in her late 20s — living in Ireland in the present time and facing the challenges that comes with). But despite the very concrete context, some of her thoughts feel universal, and I believe that whether you are a mother or not, and whether you're irish or not, you will find some of her ideas relatable.

On another note, the writing of the book is very beautiful, you can tell the author's a poet because of how some passages are written (and of course because some passages are actual poems). The way the author conveys her ideas in her sentences feels very unique and original because of how poetic it can get at some points.

Overall, this was a very nice read. It's a book that made me think about the challenges being a mother comes with in present times and that I believe it must perfectly depict how the love a mother feels must feel.
Profile Image for Vera Santomé.
140 reviews
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August 25, 2024
gocei moito coa conciencia de non-ser-a-primeira-nai-do universo e do fragmentario da súa escrita precisamente polos traballos de coidados; e pola súa tendencia poética. Escribe que ser nai é ser un lugar dende onde outra observa o mundo ❤️‍🩹
Profile Image for Gaby Kaza.
42 reviews
March 28, 2025
Finally got round to finishing this one. I’d give it 3.75 stars. Some Eavan Boland quantities and a good mix of prose and poetry but in places the post-partum ramblings lost me a bit. I so wanted to fully appreciate this as a non-mother but couldn’t help but feel only those who’ve experienced childbirth can truly relate.
Profile Image for Kate.
1,078 reviews14 followers
April 3, 2023
This poetic memoir really deserves a full and thorough review. I'll do my best to emphasise its importance.

Kinsella reflects on her experience of pregnancy, childbirth, 'madness', and the first nine months of her son's life, with Ireland's historical treatment of women and mothers as a backdrop. The experiences of Kinsella's own mother and grandmother provide personal context.

Our ever-present history... to be a pregnant woman in Ireland is to know the fortune of your time and place of birth.


Kinsella's descriptions of her newborn resonated strongly for me -

The days are filled with love and panic. A friend tells her those feelings don’t go away but they become less intense. Like grief.


And she captures the vigilance, doubt, and overwhelming emotion of many new mothers.

I keep him safe from the world. This imperfect world I’ve brought him into, this imperfect body I have taken him from.


There is so much more to this memoir - the gender gap in terms of treatment of pain; inter-generational trauma; the role of the Catholic Church; the fact that the ‘superpowers’ and sacrifice of mothers is presented as a compliment when it is actually an expectation; and the idea that it takes a village to raise a child but modern women have lost their village. A rich and thought-provoking book.

4/5
Profile Image for Elisabete Martins.
Author 2 books88 followers
March 28, 2025
Numa obra visceral e intimista, a poeta Alice Kinsella revê a sua gravidez e primeiros nove meses de vida do seu filho. Entre o desejo de ser mãe e o sentimento de se perder de si mesma, a autora escreve pensamentos soltos ao longo dos dezoito meses, e outros ainda antes de descobrir que estava grávida, onde reflete sobre o estado do mundo para o qual traz o seu filho.

A identidade de escritora desvanecida, a saúde mental afetada, a dor, a relação com o corpo, agora diferente, e a mistura de emoções pautam os dias de uma mãe que batalha para recuperar de uma depressão pós-parto. Num relato pessoal, escrito em reflexões curtas, mas profundas, Kinsella destrói a visão encantada da maternidade e expõe os momentos mais desafiantes, a par dos mais belos e dignos de registo fotográfico, quase obsessivo. A sua casa, Irlanda, é descrita neste livro aos olhos do que é ser mulher e mãe no século XXI, onde, não há muito tempo, as mães eram tratadas como despojos de uma sociedade ditada por regras que não favoreciam o sexo mais fraco. Muito mudou, mas a poeta ainda identifica algumas ramificações dessa época em que as mães eram internadas e isoladas da sociedade. Uma investigação profunda sobre o que é ser mãe nos dias atuais, com toda a História que pesa nos ombros das gerações que criaram a autora.

Gostei muito de entrar na mente desta mãe e refletir sobre os temas que foi apresentando, desde a História da Irlanda até ao enevoar da sua identidade de escritora, que a fez perder a capacidade para escrever poesia nos meses seguintes ao nascimento do seu filho. Sinto que não se fala muito deste «lado B» da maternidade. Fala-se muito do lado bonito e encantador, retratado ao expoente da loucura nas redes sociais. Pouco se fala com a mesma visceralidade e honestidade radical com que esta autora retratou aquele que era um desejo profundo seu: o de ser mãe.

Um livro que se lê depressa, mas que «obriga» a parar para refletir.
Profile Image for Claire Hennessy.
Author 25 books145 followers
July 5, 2023
(Originally posted online in March 2023)
I am posting this review now because the book - a gorgeous poetic-prose fragment-y memoir-ish account of pregnancy & early motherhood in 21st century Ireland - is officially out this week. But I read a proof copy back in late October/early November & since then I've been hissing at both bookish & new-mother-ish pals: THIS BOOK! YOU NEED!
Alice Kinsella may already be on your radar as a poet & editor; this is her first prose collection. Milk is subtitled "on motherhood and madness" & it explores both of these & so much more. Kinsella writes about being pregnant in an Ireland that has only recently legalised abortion, about the contrast between the shaming of breastfeeding versus the ubiquity of penises in public life, about the ways in which lives & brains change when small humans are involved. She is attentive to inequality & climate change, & what it means - or might mean - to bring a child into the world in these circumstances. She is body & brain. She has given birth in an Irish hospital, with all the baggage that comes with that. She is a woman who was a toddler when the Spice Girls championed Girl Power, newly realising that there is still an achingly long way to go. She is an artist trying to make sense of the world, in the jagged spaces & pockets of time new motherhood allows. She is smart, lyrical, fierce. She is also wrecked - see above re: motherhood.
This book is Sarah Manguso levels of good. (She has blurbed it, also!) It's a gorgeous example of how the sometimes-overused fragment/poetic style can/should succeed & also fit its subject matter perfectly; it's both emotionally & intellectually engaging. I was moved & impressed by it; I think it would be wise to order a copy nowishly.
Profile Image for Grainne.
72 reviews1 follower
April 18, 2024
To all my gals - we all need to read this! All about the reality of having a baby in Ireland and the expectations and pressure put on moms to meet society’s ideals. Goes into the past just enough without being boring and really highlights that we’re not as progressive as we think we are!! Defo does not pitch being a mom as a yummy mummy experience - way more honest and tbh kinda grim but brings up things that you don’t normally hear about! Might come back to this again if I’m ever gonna be a mamma
Profile Image for Mary Crawford.
884 reviews3 followers
October 11, 2025
Some lovely writing and moments of sheer ‘OMG’ I remember that happening to me. The interspersed very personal experiences alongside a political analysis of how Ireland past and present treats antenatal and postnatal women questions how much has changed over the last six decades.
Profile Image for Karen.
393 reviews
February 26, 2024
“The only group of people reading about motherhood are mothers.” I thought this was a very thought provoking quote that reminds us how isolating motherhood can be, and how it’s our faith for a lot of us women if we want to have a family, whereas men are able to have a family and completely dissociate with the vast psychological and physical disruptions that women have to go through. The thought that men cannot only distance themselves physically from this, i.e. by not carrying a baby, but also psychologically by not having to engages with writing like this because it doesn’t affect them, really saddens me.
Profile Image for Martha.O.S.
317 reviews3 followers
July 17, 2023
4.5 stars. This memoir on motherhood was a wonderful immersive read. Written by poet Alice Kinsella, the language was beautiful and it was full of insight and meaning. This author was able to articulate her own experience of motherhood, the emotional upheaval of the whole journey, and draw connections with past generations of women, her own family but the greater universal family, the whole village that it takes to raise a child. Society seems to put so much on the role of mothers…superhuman, amazingly strong women, but perhaps the author argues this just puts unrealistic expectations on the mothers in society. Why should so much depend on them?

The book is written in back and forth fragments. She lets us know what stage of pregnancy or motherhood she is in by titling her pieces “-3” or +”4” etc. A young mother by today’s standards, she is the first of her friend group to have a baby, leaving behind the flats, men, alcohol and cigarettes of her recent past. While the book speaks of this author’s experience, she interweaves facts and research on the subject which was really interesting. I liked that she included both, the personal was raw and authentic but the facts gave the book an added gravitas.

As the book’s title suggests, there was a lot on the subject of breastfeeding, on the female body, on the irrefutable bond between mother and baby, on mother as nurturer… But there was also a lot on the idea of being a “good enough” mother, how mothers shouldn’t have to sacrifice all of themselves to prove their love to their child and how at a certain point, there should rightly be a letting go, of the relationship being just that…a relationship, the child their own distinct person to relate to others in their own way.

Another aspect I found really interesting is the writings by mothers on the subject of motherhood that the author sought out. “Most of the time I don’t feel real. I’ve learned to relate to people through pages. I feel closer to human when reading. Maybe that’s a sign of a good writer, letting the reader feel like they understand you….I want to read the mothers that mothers like me other. They are harder to find. I’m not looking hard enough. Like everyone I’m too busy looking at myself. Too busy not looking at myself hard enough.

She speaks of “the full feel of life which is tied so helplessly to death. I want to numb it…the impossible ache of love. Knowing that some day you’ll be separated from this person you love most. To be human, to comprehend existence is what makes us both capable of and afraid of love. It lives in me this undercurrent.” It is writing like this that makes this book so special.
5 reviews
June 27, 2025
"Men, generally speaking, don't see the need to dismantle themselves when they become fathers."

10 weeks postpartum with my second baby, I resonated with many of the early motherhood themes Kinsella explores in this memoir, and enjoyed learning about some of the history and culture of motherhood in Ireland as well as the author's own experiences. I listened to the audiobook, so also appreciated the lovely Irish accent!

The writing was beautiful and poetic. A few times I noted down sentences that particularly stood out to me, getting to the heart of complex issues in a few well-chosen words. Other times I felt like I didn't really understand what a passage was trying to convey, and some bits (for example, passages on photographing the baby) felt a bit repetitive to me.

I think I understand why the book is structured the way it is - mostly short chapters snapshotting a moment in time before or after the birth. It feels very much like my fragmentary experience of new motherhood, with thoughts jumping around all over the place and many different concerns and interests vying for my attention. Perhaps because of this, or perhaps just because I'm a bit sleep deprived and have a short attention span in general, I found it harder to get into than the other motherhood books I've read recently.

One of the highlights of this book for me was the author's account of her discovery of motherhood literature, which was very similar to my own. This book may not have been my favourite, but it is a lovely addition to the genre and definitely worthy of a place on any matrescence reading list!
Profile Image for Tasha.
515 reviews49 followers
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May 5, 2023
Will not be rating it as it is a memoir and it feels unfair to poorly rate someone's life. This is a very personal memoir and I appreciate Kinsella sharing her thoughts in this way.

A book about motherhood and madness. I thought this was going to be right up my street as I love reading about people's experiences with motherhood, especially the early days. This book follows the first 9 months of Alice Kinsella's baby's life, along with snapshots of her pregnancy and further back.

At the beginning it says it is neither full fact nor fiction and I think that's really interesting. Unfortunately I struggled to get into this book. It's compiled of short passages from different points in time such as +8, -4 referencing pregnancy and how long after the birth (birth is 0). I found a lot of it to be quite repetitive and whilst it made me reflect on my own experiences and there were passages that really resonated with me, in general I didn't particularly enjoy the reading experience as a whole and felt the book was long, taking me ages to read although it was only 320 pages.
Profile Image for booksbytheboats.
324 reviews37 followers
May 10, 2023

I wasn’t sure how I’d find this one but it fell off the shelf when I was looking for something else and I thought I’d give it ago. It wasn’t really what I was expecting but it did really keep my interest. It’s a memoir about pregnancy, motherhood and related ‘madness’ that the author now says she wouldn’t describe as fact or fiction.

I found most of this book incredibly relatable. I have no shame in saying that I find motherhood and the associated feelings difficult and it really is the loneliest job in the world. Like the author, I am a mother to an only child, a son, and there is a pressure to ensure that he grows up to be a good man.

Some parts of this did go over my head when talking in-depth about Ireland, Irish history and cows (yes cows) but overall the relationship with herself, her son and her mother kept me engaged. The author is naturally a poet and so the book can edge towards that genre at times which I found made it very quick reading. Lots of short sections.

I’ve attached the two parts that I related to the most and overall a book I would recommend to a mother.
Profile Image for Maggie Walsh.
135 reviews2 followers
December 13, 2025
Milk is a series of prose based on the authors experience of pregnancy and the early months of new motherhood. While the book will have a particular significance to those who are mothers, this can be read by anyone who has an interest in the connection between body, mind and soul.

This is a beautiful book. Raw, honest, visceral but also joyful, contemplative and very honest. It's 16 years since I last experienced pregnancy and it is not surprising to see little has changed in terms of how our health system treats mothers and how society at large views the role and function of a mother.

I cried in parts for Alice and for the many other women like her - myself included - for whom the reality of pregnancy and childbirth doesn't match the mawkish image society likes to push.

At a time when motherhood has been weaponised by those in certain political factions I think a book like this is really important and I urge those with children, thinking about having children or even childfree by choice to read it.
Profile Image for Olivia-Savannah.
1,152 reviews574 followers
April 14, 2023
I'm usually all about motherhood related memoirs and books, but mostly just found this one okay.

This one jumps between the present day, the past before pregnancy and leading up to it, and the immediate experience after having had her first child.

Occasionally she dips into talking about what it is like to be a mother in Ireland specifically, a little of the history to that and what motherhood was portrayed as in the past. I kind of wish we had more of that information woven into the personal story. But that's how I like to consume my nonfiction memoirs so maybe that chalks down to personal preference.

It also touches on some other subjects such as climate change worries, feminism and more. I think the timeline jumping around made it harder to appreciate the variety of topics and had it feeling more random when any of those other topics were included. Whereas if the chapters had been grouped by topic, or a linear timeline, it might have worked better for me.
Profile Image for Jess O'Neill.
6 reviews
December 30, 2023
I'm a 'Mammy' myself, having given birth in my mid-twenties in Ireland a short while after Kinsella. "Milk" felt like a lifeline woven with raw honesty.

Kinsella's unflinching exploration of motherhood and perinatal mental health struck a chord deep within me. Her ability to articulate the chaotic emotions, the unspoken struggles, and the unrelenting pressure placed on mothers is both validating and empowering. She articulated feelings I hadn't found the words to express. Jarringly, I connected so much to the words on the pages that I felt I could have written some of them myself.

"Milk" didn't feel like a book; it felt like a compassionate companion that bravely dismantled the myth of perfect motherhood and instead celebrated the resilience and strength found in embracing imperfection.

It's a must-read for anyone seeking solace and solidarity in the sometimes turbulent journey of motherhood. I know this is one I will continuously revisit.
Profile Image for Becky Lee-Roche.
13 reviews2 followers
April 10, 2024
Milk: On Motherhood and Madness by Alice Kinsella reads like part stream of consciousness, part poetry, part memoir. Alice became a mother in her late twenties and this book discusses her experience of pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding and losing her identity to motherhood. There’s also cultural commentary on what it means to be a mother in Ireland, feminism, bodily autonomy, mental illness and climate change. The writing in this book is lyrical and there are some passages that I identified with deeply. The style in which it’s written, jumping back and forth between timelines, won’t be for everyone but I interpreted the somewhat chaotic layout as purposeful to reflect the authors anxious state of mind. I wouldn’t describe this book as gripping, there were some occasions where I found myself losing interest and engagement but overall, I left this book feeling excited to read more from Kinsella. 3.5 stars!
Profile Image for ⋆.⭒ ara ୨୧ ˚⟡˖ ࣪.
73 reviews
October 19, 2024
Absolutely superb and so poignant. Her writing is visceral and real, and cuts deep to the core - And I say all of this not being a mother myself. Her ability to evoke motherhood within each of us is astounding. I met her and a few other authors in the book talk “Motherhood on the edge of madness: a look at motherhood in times of crisis” and was lucky enough to get a signed copy by her. I cherish this copy, however, I did loan it out to MY mother who is currently reading it and also finds it as emotionally provoking and beautiful as I did. It is acting as a bridge between us, like a shimmering thread that has reconnected us based on my mother’s mothering and my own reality in being mothered. Stunning.
4 reviews
July 4, 2023
This book is ideal for new mothers seeking companionship, understanding and validation and it’s also for anyone and everyone else interested in books that allow you inside the authors mind, experiencing the journey with her from woman to Mother and learning about the cultural context of these things in Ireland, past and present. It is a pleasant blend of poetry and prose that is easy to read but thought provoking, with the odd chuckle and some Big Feelings. I was able to identify with much of the content around birth trauma and mental health which was really emotional in a good way. But I think anyone will be able to connect with the stories in this memoir, woman, mother, or otherwise.
Profile Image for Nadia Inha.
22 reviews
December 19, 2023

This was the best memoir I’ve read on motherhood this year.So lucid, honest and beautiful - Kinsella covers familiar territory but the weaving together of personal anecdote with political anxieties and fragments of Irish women’s history felt very fresh. I also liked the way Kinsella jumped between the pregnancy, birth and postpartum periods of motherhood - for me, birth trauma has thrown my mind back and forth between all these stages frequently and it felt refreshing to read something that reflected the circles of my mind. This book deserves to be read and recommended much more widely!
Profile Image for ericas.library.
241 reviews11 followers
September 24, 2023
Have I ever related to a book as much in my life? I’m not sure I have.

My baby is almost 10 months old and reading most of Alice Kinsella’s words summing up her experience of motherhood so far has had me nodding along and tearing up. How I miss those newborn snuggles, but how obsessed I am with seeing my baby grow and do such clever things every day, I’m so proud to be her mother.

Thanks Alice for putting into words the feelings I thought I could never express. ♥️
Profile Image for Silvia Traverso.
192 reviews2 followers
January 4, 2024
Quanti pensieri e riflessioni sulla maternità, sul ruolo della donna, sulla salute mentale, sui cambiamenti climatici ! Questo libro ha dato voce ad alcune sensazioni mai tradotte a parole che mi si sono presentate durante il mio viaggio verso il diventare mamma, il cambiamento radicale della mia persona . Kinsella cita anche alcuni pensieri "scomodi" ma comuni a molte donne . Un libro che consiglierei a tutte le mamme!
555 reviews2 followers
January 2, 2025
.....well, yeah, but so what? There is nothing new in this, there is nothing unique in this. There is certainly nothing literary in this ...& yet it is published and reviewed and treated as if it were a valid book. It ain't & I am hazarding a guess here, but if it didn't come from a published author it would never have seen the light of day.
This is a failure of publishing and editing.
44 reviews
October 15, 2023
This was at best a two stars for me most of the way through. Think I would have liked it better as a book of poems, the "critical memoir" Maggie Nelson style didn't quite work. Gets a third star for the discussion of motherhood in Ireland, which was interesting.
12 reviews
October 22, 2023
I loved this prose.I was brought back to those first days and months of motherhood, which felt like living in a fog brought on by sleep deprivation and surging and plummeting hormones.This was a hopeful book too,everything passes.
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