The Educator’s Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance: An Illustrated Guide to Pathological Demand Avoidance and Learning

by Laura Kerbey, Eliza Fricker (Illustrator)

I realised EVERYTHING I was doing was wrong.
I needed to learn.
I needed to change.

During Laura Kerbey's time teaching autistic children, she had a sudden realisation that those with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) are children like no other! None of her tried and tested autism strategies would work to help them focus or learn and most of her time was spent wondering, what am I doing wrong?

If you feel the same, this short, easy-to-read guide is here to teach you everything you need to know from one educator to another. With an introduction to what PDA is followed by PDA tailored advice on how to connect with your student and create an autonomous, spontaneous environment that is personalised for you both, this guide is here to ensure that you and your PDA student thrive!

Illustrated by the popular Eliza Fricker and packed with entertaining anecdotes (including one about Jabba the Hut's poo), this go-to-guide contains everything you need to start implementing PDA friendly learning to help you connect with your student and help them make the most of their learning experience.

Genres: Education, Nonfiction, Parenting, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Teaching, Adhd

128 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 21, 2023

Reviews

[Summer Pieters · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m very much in my reading-for-my-job era. This book and two others fit into the era. Cute!

A few thoughts:
- great quick little book on understanding students with consistent demand avoidance, would recommend to my fellow teachers

- Written by UK author, still applicable info but would be interesting from American teacher perspective

- I think this book digs up a little conversation about “profiles” of autism (including PDA) which will be an interesting conversation in this space in the next few years.

- I wish it went deeper into long term plans/dreams/goals in teaching students who avoid demands. The book recommends removing perceptions of authority and hierarchy. I think that can be helpful to some extent and I understand the book’s reasoning- but is there a way to help kids with demand avoidance feel comfortable with authority for the sake of a future workplace or for safety/comfort with police/firemen/etc?

[Denise Forrest · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book explains what PDA is & how to support students who have it. It’s very readable and won’t take too long, therefore it’s ideal for busy teachers. However the majority of the examples given are primary based and there are less suggestions for adapting a secondary curriculum, hence my reason for only giving it 4 stars.

[Jessamy Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

Straightforward. Very readable. But ultimately not a LOT of substance.

I would have liked a lot more concrete strategies to at least TRY. If the author has worked with so many PDA kiddos, could she not share more ideas?

[Heather Camarota · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although short and written for an audience in the UK, this book is packed with valuable information and anecdotes and should be required reading for any educator!

[Josette T]

We’re really bouncing all over the place with these recent reads but just finished this! I mostly read it because it pertains to my work but if anyone is in a similar field and is interested in PDA, I definitely recommend. It’s a super quick but informative read.

[Fafani Weinzierl · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author works in England, so some of the educational settings and systems are a bit different. However, I found this book to be extremely informative and helpful. Those of you who follow my reviews - if you are a special education teacher, I might be buying you this book! Just so you know. 🤗

[Kelly Williamson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay book, very little substance. Very much directed toward younger kids, because how can we just decide to not give kids demands ever and then say we’ve prepared them for ….jobs? life?

[Tara · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I enjoyed learning more about PDA, I would have loved some more strategies and ideas to implement in the classroom. I found the examples helpful to a small degree but it would have helped to have things I could put in place.

[Dora Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Educator’s Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance is a refreshing and practical guide for educators who want to better understand and support children with PDA.

What makes this book particularly valuable is Laura Kerbey's willingness to acknowledge that approaches which work well for other autistic children may not necessarily work for pupils with PDA. That honest starting point makes the guidance feel grounded in real classroom experiences rather than relying on one size fits all teaching methods.

I appreciate the emphasis on building connections with students, understanding their individual needs and creating learning environments that offer greater autonomy and flexibility. The idea of moving away from traditional expectations and finding more spontaneous, personalised ways to encourage learning is especially important.

The accessible writing style, entertaining anecdotes and illustrations by Eliza Fricker also help make what can be a complex subject easier to engage with. Rather than overwhelming readers with theory, the book offers an approachable introduction and practical ideas that educators can begin considering in their own settings.

This looks like a helpful resource for teachers and education professionals who want to move beyond frustration and develop more understanding, confidence and flexibility when supporting PDA learners.

[Alex Garza · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would’ve given this book one star if I didn’t think the author was writing with their best intentions. I don’t agree with a lot of the practices in this book. They are not evidence based and the book mostly draws from anecdotal experiences the author has had with the kids she has worked with. Anxiety and stress are facts of life and occur everyday. Evidence shows that teaching children, yes even children with autism, how to safely cope with stressors in their lives can help them move past that stress and anxiety and make progress in those areas. For example, a student may struggle to read and has high anxiety whenever they are asked to read out loud. In this case, working with the student in a safe environment where they are shown that they are allowed to make mistakes and learn from their mistakes will help them become and better reader and decrease the anxiety felt when they are asked to read. There is a reason why people are not diagnosed with PDA. It’s too vague. Everyone has demands that they avoid. However, in order to function in society where other people are factors in our lives, we need to learn how to manage our stress and anxiety in a healthy way.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The 5th grade teacher & school counselor highly recommended this book to read before the 2026-27 school year. I wasn't familiar with pathological demand avoidance before reading about it, but I hope I will be able to recognize the anxiety in my students and use some of these strategies to talk calmly with them.
*Remember that ANXIETY is what drived the behavior of an individual with PDA.
Use a flexible, non-directive approach.
Be aware of my nonverbal language.
Offer choices.
Use challenges, games & races.
Praise indirectly.
Use areas of interest to engage and motivate.
Reduce pressures and pick your battles.
Have a sense of humor.
Depersonalize rules.
Show empathy.
Try to find a balance between routine and spontaneity.
Rewards need to be individualized, quick & personalized.
Remember that everyone with PDA is different & should be treated with an individual approach!

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is very short book at 128 pages. It is accessibly written and charmingly illustrated. Although it is a very quick read, it is helpful. However, I would have liked to have seen more worked through examples, not only for different scenarios, which the author does supply to some extent, but also different solutions to the same issues, because Kerbey is clear that different students will need different solutions. Helpful as this book is, my worry is that the author is particularly gifted or adept at working with students with PDA and that even her most attentive readers may lack such a facility. It is a great starting point and a great tool to think with nevertheless.

[Daphne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first book I’ve read since pregnancy (2009-2010) that accurately reflects my experience as a parent. Geared toward educators, the book addresses some of the many ways my child has encountered ableism and solutions developed for non-PDA autistics that simply layered trauma on his school, social, medical, and family experiences. Make no mistake, I was traumatized and added trauma as well, thanks to the “advice,” inaccurate or insufficient evaluations, and lifelong social conditioning I experienced. I look forward to reading the illustrator’s book about the family experience of PDA.

[Natalie Cichy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a concise, straight-forward and NON-pathologizing guide to understanding PDA learners, advising and collaborating their learning facilitators and how to collaborate with families and learners for a positive, peaceful learning environment for ALL. I’ve highlighted and tagged so much, I need not have bothered! Wish every educator had a copy and could implement these concepts and strategies with genuine understanding and intention to create felt safety, autonomy and intrinsic value in learning for every child.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great intro to PDA, particularly from the perspective of an educator, but also helpful for parents. I wish everyone who works with kids would read this, because that “challenging” kid you’re always dealing with might just be a PDA kid. It may not answer all the long term questions around teaching PDA kids, but it does a great job of explaining what it is and ways to teach and support these unique learners.

[Tiffany Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great little guide to educating children with PDA. I wouldn’t say I learned anything I didn’t already know, having a child with PDA, but it was very validating. If you work with autistic students in an educational setting, please give this book a read for them! 🩵 Another great resource is the Declarative Language Handbook by Linda Murphy.

[J S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, relevant insight, techniques and examples. I read this to help my kids and have bought copies for their school. Easy for a teacher to read in a day or two to gain an initial understanding of how to support a PDA child. Highly recommend!

[Shalini Dara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read

Through, easy and quick read, must read for parents and educators alike. Wonderful illustrations. I wish I bought the print version to share with educators in school. Thanks for writing this book!!

[Dennis Mallon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very contradictory and demeaning to educators. Sure sending this type of student to a private setting or one on one tutoring would be beneficial however when that is not an option the strategies offered in this book are NOT practical in the public school setting.

[Stacey Kimmel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had some great advice for how to adjust the way you phrase things or word requests with students who are nuerologically different. it also has some great strategies for understanding how their brains work differently and how ro help them navigate different situations.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not an educator, but am a parent of a PDA child. I found this book quick and helpful at explaining some of the key points of PDA. I'm planning to recommend my son's school get a copy and that all teachers who interact with him give it a read!

[Kora Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

The examples are of students in one on one or small group settings. Little practical information for educators in general education.

[Tc · Rating 4 out of 5]

More suited for a primary education setting but still some great general tips. Always love Eliza Fricker’s illustrations. Easy to read (in a waiting room in one sitting).

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful for anyone interacting with PDAers

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

A GREAT support to anyone working with children with PDA! Highly recommend as an educator.

[reading waffle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick & practical - love the examples of language to use with kids.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource!

[Bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book explained what PDA was. It is also have examples and suggestions when supporting children with PDA. It is a short read but useful information

[shar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and interesting read on how to support a child with pda profile as educator. Also offers a good understanding of what pda is and where anxieties can arise.

[Manda · Rating 5 out of 5]

fast read, accurate & helpful.

True and to the point for PDAers. Some great tips along the way. Easy fast read. Well written by Laura Kerbey.