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Firebird: The Story of Roman
An inspiring memoir, Firebird: The Story of Roman chronicles one man’s unwavering resolve to follow his heart above all else. Sergey’s remarkable life story fosters understanding and empathy, driving support for LGBTQ+ equality around the world.
In 1970s Soviet occupied Estonia, handsome soulful soldier Sergey is serving out a compulsory two-year conscription at a Soviet Air Force Base. While stationed there, he meets and falls in love with a maverick fighter pilot, Roman. The two young men begin a secret affair. But, at the height of Communist rule, the risks of exposure are grave. Never one to back down from the face of injustice, Sergey chooses courage and love over fear. Inspiration for the major motion picture Firebird.
In 1970s Soviet occupied Estonia, handsome soulful soldier Sergey is serving out a compulsory two-year conscription at a Soviet Air Force Base. While stationed there, he meets and falls in love with a maverick fighter pilot, Roman. The two young men begin a secret affair. But, at the height of Communist rule, the risks of exposure are grave. Never one to back down from the face of injustice, Sergey chooses courage and love over fear. Inspiration for the major motion picture Firebird.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 2, 2023
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February 3, 2023
As the Introduction to Firebird, The Story of Roman indicates, this memoir fulfils a promise made to its author whilst Firebird, the film, was underway. The book was originally published as A Tale of Roman by Sergey Nizhny, Sergey Fetisov’s pseudonym, in 1993. (The surname Nishny, meaning lower, rather suggests the status that Fetisov, as a gay man, experienced). The book, at the time, was a bold gesture that took advantage of the decriminalisation of homosexuality under the reforms of Yeltsin; and dared to show that gay men existed openly in Russia: notably, in the military. Both Rebane and Prior -- as co-writers – promised that they would have the story translated into English and thus allow the story or Roman to reach an audience beyond Russia.
Firebird, The Story of Roman is a labour of love by three men and a fascinating text for a number of reasons: it sheds light on the film; offers vital testimony; and adds to gay Russian literature. The film received a mixed reception amongst critics and the book shows that many criticisms were unjustified. Some critics took great delight in denigrating the film by using sexual puns. The film showed “stiff dialogue,” “hardened into something generic,” was “heavy handed,” and was hampered by being a true story – did not take creative choices beyond the original. The truth is more complex. The film narrative does show restrictive choices, but these were true to the time. Many men concealed their true natures within marriage. But the book is not the film. Firebird, The Story of Roman is more sexually explicit. The “chaste” sex scenes in the film are really a conscious decision to not replicate the book, but to allow, as Prior correctly argued, the quality of emotion (in the acting) to suggest the depth of sensual intensity. Also, the film significantly alters the context. In the film, Sergey and Roman undergo a clandestine relationship threatened by the KGB. In the book, the relationship is open, acknowledged and endorsed by the Commandant, the Old Man, and those around the two lovers. Creative choices were made by Prior and Rebane that placed the film in a more overtly political context and avoided reducing the film to soft-porn Wise decisions!
The book does not represent the love of Sergey and Roman as “chaste”, that is to say, romantic and barely sexual. Fetisov writes unashamedly about their sexual acts. And because the written word must use words alone to visualize the actions (has no actor of Prior’s ability to rely upon) Fetisov has to create a sexual language. The results are somewhat poetic for modern tastes. Even so, they manage to capture the ecstasy of the men’s relationship. The writing is pastoral in nature, something not utilised by the film: a quality reminiscent of Andre Gide. Like Gustave Roud, Fetisov merges the natural landscape with human sensuality. At times, the writing is as raw as Elisabeth Smart’s By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept.
Firebird, The Story of Roman is a book of two halves. The first half, up to the death of Roman, is a series of joined fragments in which the narrative stitches past and present together and merges unchecked emotion with controlled reflections. The second half is a sustained novella that recounts the aftermath of Roman’s death. His wife’s letter to Sergey has to be one of the bitterest and vilest anywhere in literature. The second section also provides background to the Old Man and his connection to Roman, something not included in the film.
In publishing this memoir, Rebane and Prior show faith and integrity. The book is well edited and contains stills from the film – but it is far more than a commercial tie-in. It is worth reading because it remembers a brave creative writer and the trauma he dared to face, and re-tell, at a time when Russia was opening up and individuals dared to dream of lives beyond restrictive religious and political orthodoxy.
Firebird, The Story of Roman is a labour of love by three men and a fascinating text for a number of reasons: it sheds light on the film; offers vital testimony; and adds to gay Russian literature. The film received a mixed reception amongst critics and the book shows that many criticisms were unjustified. Some critics took great delight in denigrating the film by using sexual puns. The film showed “stiff dialogue,” “hardened into something generic,” was “heavy handed,” and was hampered by being a true story – did not take creative choices beyond the original. The truth is more complex. The film narrative does show restrictive choices, but these were true to the time. Many men concealed their true natures within marriage. But the book is not the film. Firebird, The Story of Roman is more sexually explicit. The “chaste” sex scenes in the film are really a conscious decision to not replicate the book, but to allow, as Prior correctly argued, the quality of emotion (in the acting) to suggest the depth of sensual intensity. Also, the film significantly alters the context. In the film, Sergey and Roman undergo a clandestine relationship threatened by the KGB. In the book, the relationship is open, acknowledged and endorsed by the Commandant, the Old Man, and those around the two lovers. Creative choices were made by Prior and Rebane that placed the film in a more overtly political context and avoided reducing the film to soft-porn Wise decisions!
The book does not represent the love of Sergey and Roman as “chaste”, that is to say, romantic and barely sexual. Fetisov writes unashamedly about their sexual acts. And because the written word must use words alone to visualize the actions (has no actor of Prior’s ability to rely upon) Fetisov has to create a sexual language. The results are somewhat poetic for modern tastes. Even so, they manage to capture the ecstasy of the men’s relationship. The writing is pastoral in nature, something not utilised by the film: a quality reminiscent of Andre Gide. Like Gustave Roud, Fetisov merges the natural landscape with human sensuality. At times, the writing is as raw as Elisabeth Smart’s By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept.
Firebird, The Story of Roman is a book of two halves. The first half, up to the death of Roman, is a series of joined fragments in which the narrative stitches past and present together and merges unchecked emotion with controlled reflections. The second half is a sustained novella that recounts the aftermath of Roman’s death. His wife’s letter to Sergey has to be one of the bitterest and vilest anywhere in literature. The second section also provides background to the Old Man and his connection to Roman, something not included in the film.
In publishing this memoir, Rebane and Prior show faith and integrity. The book is well edited and contains stills from the film – but it is far more than a commercial tie-in. It is worth reading because it remembers a brave creative writer and the trauma he dared to face, and re-tell, at a time when Russia was opening up and individuals dared to dream of lives beyond restrictive religious and political orthodoxy.
March 20, 2023
Even if you have seen the movie, which, if you haven’t, you need to, this book offers a deeper look into unseen perspectives and insight from Sergey. Reading Sergey’s words firsthand describing his relationship with Roman takes you on an emotional journey into discovering love and desire unlike anything you’ve read before. I’m proud to have been part of the Kickstarter campaign to have this book translated into English for many more to enjoy. This book is a must-read!
December 20, 2024
A Joyfully Jay review.
3 stars
It’s hard to review a memoir, at least it is for me, so I’ve come up with a few questions to ask myself when reading one in order to get an idea of whether or not the book does what I want it to do. One, do I get a sense of the person the book is about, some sense of character or personality? Two, how is the writing? Is it approachable, dense? Has it been polished by a ghost writer? Three, does the book get its point across — or what I assume the point to be? So, let’s answer those questions.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
3 stars
It’s hard to review a memoir, at least it is for me, so I’ve come up with a few questions to ask myself when reading one in order to get an idea of whether or not the book does what I want it to do. One, do I get a sense of the person the book is about, some sense of character or personality? Two, how is the writing? Is it approachable, dense? Has it been polished by a ghost writer? Three, does the book get its point across — or what I assume the point to be? So, let’s answer those questions.
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
June 4, 2025
It feels wrong to rate this as it's based on a real story, but I don't think I've read a book about love written with such passion as this one.
Admittedly, the writing is not the gratested, but you can feel the emotions swirling towards you with such force it can be quite overwhelming. In the end, literature is all about feelings and this book forced so many emotions out of me and so quickly (I almost cried on page 13), that I cannot take it out of my mind.
Brilliant!
Admittedly, the writing is not the gratested, but you can feel the emotions swirling towards you with such force it can be quite overwhelming. In the end, literature is all about feelings and this book forced so many emotions out of me and so quickly (I almost cried on page 13), that I cannot take it out of my mind.
Brilliant!
February 9, 2023
The best book I have ever read. The best true story I have ever read. Sergey's memoir is so detailed. He tells his story so well that I felt myself in his presence. I felt his pain, suffering, sadness and most importantly his love. I feel like I was sitting there in the room with him and his love. If you want a glimpse of what it felt like to love someone who was the same gender as you, in the time where same gender love was frowned upon and probably not legal then read this. During my time reading my emotions went wild. I was happy for Sergey and sad. I cried so hard that my nose was so closed I could not breathe through it, I had to stop and compose myself and rember to breathe via my mouth. If there is one book you read in your life, then let it be this one.
Thomas.
Thomas.
May 11, 2023
god words cannot describe how beautiful this book is. sergey's words & his descriptions of his love for his roman broke my heart, pieced it back together, and broke it again. in the last ~50 pages i literally could not stop crying. im very glad i read this memoir and i think everyone should read it.
something i found interesting, though, was what was different in the memoir vs. the movie that it inspired. there were many differences and i enjoyed the minor changes to the story in the movie's plot but i also desperately wished that some of the extra beautiful moments from the book were included in the movie... especially with the entire first part of the book where they lived together at the army base with their dog and their couch and aughhhh im so.
the story of their love will forever be burned into my brain and i hope they are both resting peacefully. i am not particularly religious, but if there is a heaven, i hope that they were reunited for good.
something i found interesting, though, was what was different in the memoir vs. the movie that it inspired. there were many differences and i enjoyed the minor changes to the story in the movie's plot but i also desperately wished that some of the extra beautiful moments from the book were included in the movie... especially with the entire first part of the book where they lived together at the army base with their dog and their couch and aughhhh im so.
the story of their love will forever be burned into my brain and i hope they are both resting peacefully. i am not particularly religious, but if there is a heaven, i hope that they were reunited for good.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 9, 2023
The movie was spectacular so I wanted to read the book that inspired it.
It is just as beautifully heartbreaking as the movie, if not more so. We delve more into the romance and nuances of being gay at that time.
New characters are introduced and expanded upon.
I thought the Old Man was such a genuine and loveable character. I wish we could have seen him featured more prominently in the movie.
The scene in the field with a third gentleman was very provocative.
The ending explores just how complex the human condition is and compromises that had to be made back then.
While emotional and in some cases angering, love always wins. Hatred brings out the worst in all of us.
Thank you to Sergey for allowing us into his world and the epic love story he experienced.
Educational and oddly inspiring. Rest in peace and I hope Tom Prior, Peeter Rebane, and team will continue telling such challenging but profound stories in film and literature.
It is just as beautifully heartbreaking as the movie, if not more so. We delve more into the romance and nuances of being gay at that time.
New characters are introduced and expanded upon.
I thought the Old Man was such a genuine and loveable character. I wish we could have seen him featured more prominently in the movie.
The scene in the field with a third gentleman was very provocative.
The ending explores just how complex the human condition is and compromises that had to be made back then.
While emotional and in some cases angering, love always wins. Hatred brings out the worst in all of us.
Thank you to Sergey for allowing us into his world and the epic love story he experienced.
Educational and oddly inspiring. Rest in peace and I hope Tom Prior, Peeter Rebane, and team will continue telling such challenging but profound stories in film and literature.
March 24, 2023
This book was amazing. I laughed, cried, got angry at some characters. Firebird is one of my all time favorite movies and I was so excited to see Sergey's story in depth and how his relationship with another man was like in 1970s Estonia/Russia. I loved every second of this book!
March 25, 2023
Historia Romana i Sergeja jest cholernie smutna ale zarazem bardzo łapie za serce!
November 13, 2025
It feels odd to comment/review on someone’s life story.
While reading the book I asked myself “why did he do that?”, “why did he endure all of this?” and other similar questions. Then Sergey explained it.
I know the book tells the story of Roman, yet when I finished reading the book, questions came to my mind: what happened with the little Sergey? Did the two Sergeys remain in contact?
I was not able to find additional information on Sergey’s life after Roman but I hope he was happy. I know such love is not easily forgotten, yet I hope he had found a new person to love and be happy with. We all deserve love.
I really liked this quote “I have only ever been happy with you. Nothing and no one will ever take your place. I kiss you goodbye. Forever yours, Roman.” ❤️🩹🥲💗
While reading the book I asked myself “why did he do that?”, “why did he endure all of this?” and other similar questions. Then Sergey explained it.
I know the book tells the story of Roman, yet when I finished reading the book, questions came to my mind: what happened with the little Sergey? Did the two Sergeys remain in contact?
I was not able to find additional information on Sergey’s life after Roman but I hope he was happy. I know such love is not easily forgotten, yet I hope he had found a new person to love and be happy with. We all deserve love.
I really liked this quote “I have only ever been happy with you. Nothing and no one will ever take your place. I kiss you goodbye. Forever yours, Roman.” ❤️🩹🥲💗
January 1, 2024
The first two thirds read like an imagined fantasy, almost too whimsical to believe as true coming from that time period. In some ways, though, it’s a breath of fresh air, lacking any of the shame or self-consciousness common in gay novels. The last third, then, is an abrupt return to reality, so gut-wrenching at times to more than make up for the earlier whimsy. Taken as a whole, it is a beautiful story of love freely given at a time and place foreign to most modern readers. Highly recommend!
May 29, 2023
Disappointing compared to movie
The film was made before the movie and is perhaps 4 stars out of five. This book reads like a sentimental novelization, though it inspired the film which remedies the many defects. It may be very dear to some one, so I apologize for my objective appraisal.
It is very verbose and repetitive so that I started speed reading and jumping paragraphs, apparently missing nothing. Maybe love addicts will like it.
The film was made before the movie and is perhaps 4 stars out of five. This book reads like a sentimental novelization, though it inspired the film which remedies the many defects. It may be very dear to some one, so I apologize for my objective appraisal.
It is very verbose and repetitive so that I started speed reading and jumping paragraphs, apparently missing nothing. Maybe love addicts will like it.
April 20, 2023
Overall this book was beautifully written and tells a touching story. The author does an amazing job of portraying his past love and current pain. There were a few parts where the timeline got a little fuzzy for me but taking all things into consideration this was an excellent read.
February 3, 2025
The Story of Roman is a heart-wrenching tale of a young boy named Roman whose life is torn apart by the horrors of war. Growing up in Chechnya, Roman’s peaceful childhood is shattered when war devastates his homeland. His family is brutally killed, leaving him orphaned and displaced, navigating a world of pain, loss, and unimaginable violence. As Roman struggles to survive through a series of foster homes and refugee camps, he grapples with overwhelming grief and a desperate longing for connection in a world that seems to offer none.
The novel paints a powerful and heartbreaking picture of a child’s resilience in the face of tragedy, but also of the irreversible damage that trauma inflicts. Roman’s journey through the wreckage of his childhood is marked by fleeting moments of hope, but the scars of war follow him, making it impossible to ever truly feel whole again. Firebird is a poignant exploration of how war steals innocence and devastates the spirit, particularly for the children who must bear the burden of its destruction. It’s a raw and painful reminder of the cost of conflict on the most vulnerable, and how some wounds, no matter how hard one tries to heal, never truly fade.
Roman’s evolving relationship with another boy is the central theme of this book. It delves into his feelings of love and identity while he grapples with trauma. As Roman grows older, he forms a deep emotional and romantic bond with a young man named sergio. The book intertwines his journey through grief, survival, and self-discovery with his exploration of sexuality.
This novel is both a heart-wrenching story about the impact of war and a tender coming-of-age tale about love and identity, especially in the face of such immense hardship. Roman’s story goes beyond the physical scars of war. It’s also about his search for acceptance, understanding, and a sense of belonging—emotionally and sexually—in the midst of the devastation he’s endured. The love story adds another layer to his experience, showing how human connection, even in its most vulnerable and complicated form, can offer a glimmer of hope in the darkest times.
The novel paints a powerful and heartbreaking picture of a child’s resilience in the face of tragedy, but also of the irreversible damage that trauma inflicts. Roman’s journey through the wreckage of his childhood is marked by fleeting moments of hope, but the scars of war follow him, making it impossible to ever truly feel whole again. Firebird is a poignant exploration of how war steals innocence and devastates the spirit, particularly for the children who must bear the burden of its destruction. It’s a raw and painful reminder of the cost of conflict on the most vulnerable, and how some wounds, no matter how hard one tries to heal, never truly fade.
Roman’s evolving relationship with another boy is the central theme of this book. It delves into his feelings of love and identity while he grapples with trauma. As Roman grows older, he forms a deep emotional and romantic bond with a young man named sergio. The book intertwines his journey through grief, survival, and self-discovery with his exploration of sexuality.
This novel is both a heart-wrenching story about the impact of war and a tender coming-of-age tale about love and identity, especially in the face of such immense hardship. Roman’s story goes beyond the physical scars of war. It’s also about his search for acceptance, understanding, and a sense of belonging—emotionally and sexually—in the midst of the devastation he’s endured. The love story adds another layer to his experience, showing how human connection, even in its most vulnerable and complicated form, can offer a glimmer of hope in the darkest times.
January 7, 2025
"The purpose of love is to bring people together, but I am alone in the darknees of the night:"
Decidí leer este libro después de ver la película, que si bien no me encantó, me dejó con mucha curiosidad sobre cómo fue la historia real entre Sergey y Roman, teniendo en cuenta las circunstancias en las que se generó dicho amor en plena Unión Sovietica de los años setenta. Mucho más al saber que está es la historia escrita por el propio Sergey.
Película y libro son muy diferentes, pero (no me odien) en este caso me gustó más la película.
Uno de mis grandes problemas fue la traducción del ruso al inglés. De ruso conozco sólo Da y Niet como palabras y el inglés no es mi lengua nativa, pero aún así noté la mala calidad de la traducción. Se sentía poco natural algunas frases y se notaba que fueron traducidas de manera literal. Eran tan malo que me desconcentró en varios momentos.
El siguiente problema es sobre la manera en la que está escrito. Me sentía leyendo "Vita nuova" de Dante, de tan etereo que es todo el libro. Cierto, tiene sus frases tristes. Y sí, lloré en dos o tres momentos. Sin embargo, todo es con una atmósfera apenas tangible, como un sueño donde nada es concreto más allá de las métaforas del clima y la naturaleza.
No digo esto en el buen sentido, pues si bien entiendo que el autor no podía ser muy explícito,(aunque hay varias escenas de sexo con todo lujo de detalles), obviamente, el resultado es que el lector se siente siempre como si le faltara una parte de la información.
Los personajes no tienen ningún tipo de profundidad, los diálogos son casi de caricatura y cosas importantes como cómo fue el proceso de conocerse, personalidad de Roman, cómo éste murió y dónde, etc. quedan en incógnito.
Y es una lástima, porque es una historia preciosa y dolorosa, y pudo haber sido ejecutada mejor. También, en lo personal, me deja en la díficil situación de críticar el libro, pues ¿cómo puedo juzgar o calificar, por decirlo así, una historia real?¿La confesión de un hombre a su amado tras su muerte, tan íntima que no se atrevió a contar todos los detalles, para dejarlo entre él y Roman?
Decidí leer este libro después de ver la película, que si bien no me encantó, me dejó con mucha curiosidad sobre cómo fue la historia real entre Sergey y Roman, teniendo en cuenta las circunstancias en las que se generó dicho amor en plena Unión Sovietica de los años setenta. Mucho más al saber que está es la historia escrita por el propio Sergey.
Película y libro son muy diferentes, pero (no me odien) en este caso me gustó más la película.
Uno de mis grandes problemas fue la traducción del ruso al inglés. De ruso conozco sólo Da y Niet como palabras y el inglés no es mi lengua nativa, pero aún así noté la mala calidad de la traducción. Se sentía poco natural algunas frases y se notaba que fueron traducidas de manera literal. Eran tan malo que me desconcentró en varios momentos.
El siguiente problema es sobre la manera en la que está escrito. Me sentía leyendo "Vita nuova" de Dante, de tan etereo que es todo el libro. Cierto, tiene sus frases tristes. Y sí, lloré en dos o tres momentos. Sin embargo, todo es con una atmósfera apenas tangible, como un sueño donde nada es concreto más allá de las métaforas del clima y la naturaleza.
No digo esto en el buen sentido, pues si bien entiendo que el autor no podía ser muy explícito,(aunque hay varias escenas de sexo con todo lujo de detalles), obviamente, el resultado es que el lector se siente siempre como si le faltara una parte de la información.
Los personajes no tienen ningún tipo de profundidad, los diálogos son casi de caricatura y cosas importantes como cómo fue el proceso de conocerse, personalidad de Roman, cómo éste murió y dónde, etc. quedan en incógnito.
Y es una lástima, porque es una historia preciosa y dolorosa, y pudo haber sido ejecutada mejor. También, en lo personal, me deja en la díficil situación de críticar el libro, pues ¿cómo puedo juzgar o calificar, por decirlo así, una historia real?¿La confesión de un hombre a su amado tras su muerte, tan íntima que no se atrevió a contar todos los detalles, para dejarlo entre él y Roman?
January 8, 2024
This book is a must read. Although movie is based on book, the book is very different than the movie.
Sergey’s way of writing is different than many American authors. Russian is a difficult language and translator has done a great job.
Here are spoiler free key point of my observations and thoughts.
• The book is much, much, much, much better than the movie.
• As per Sergey, events and chapters are not written in chronological order.
• Was shocked to see how events were opposite to portrayed in the movie.
• Roman was very, very romantic and was crazily in love with Sergey. Can’t believe in those days, behind iron curtain those two had a great fun. Those two had guts.
• Sit with a pen in hand when you start reading this book. There are many beautiful lines that you would love to underline.
• I loved the chapter in second half when Sergey goes to the church to pray for Roman. It was heart wrenching. We didn’t know anything at all but our heart was telling that something was not good and Roman is in great danger.
• Bookmark the chapter of Roman’s friend Misha. You will have to go back to that chapter and won’t find it easily if not bookmarked.
• Old Man played very important role in the book but his character was wiped out from the movie. You will fall in love with him.
• The last chapter was mind blowing. I didn’t though the book would end on that mood.
This book came at a right time. This is the book that would make you forget your worries, tensions and would make you think wow, how great is the creation of universe.
Love you Roman.
Love you Sergey.
Love you Old Man.
Love you Pilot.
If there is a heaven then Roman, Sergey, Pilot and Old Man are having party there. One day I would love to join them. Thanks a lot the translator and who made all this possible.
April 23, 2025
While I loved the movie, I’m quite disappointed by this novel.
Hear me out, the story is beautiful and, god, that was really really heart wrenching. But it makes me so happy to see that men have loved other men so deeply even when times were so dark (and even if they did not had the chance to have a happy ending).
The last part make me thankful I forced myself to read the whole book. My heart is into pieces, I haven’t read a lot of books that made me cry so much. The grief is so hard and violent, directly from the guts, you can see it’s not a fiction.
The writing is very good and poetic but it felt sometimes a bit too much.
It can just be the fact that’s it’s not a modern novel tho or just me idk. But tbh I was quite bored most of the time and I found the overall a bit messy especially the switching between different parts of the love story.
It’s hard to review and judge a memoir because that’s someone story and but I felt like parts of the story did not match the narrative (especially the threesome which comes from nowhere) and idk it felt out of place.
The last part of the book resonated more with me because it was more centered on the characters and less on long descriptions (but god how sad it is).
Idk I’m a bit disappointed. I can see that the book have way more to give than the movie which cuts important scenes but at the same time I would have preferred a more organized story, not something that feels like a fever dream sometimes.
I’m still glad to be able to read a based on true event story from this era even if it’s breaking my heart even more. It’s rare to see such a complete testimony from a gay man in the Soviet Union.
Hear me out, the story is beautiful and, god, that was really really heart wrenching. But it makes me so happy to see that men have loved other men so deeply even when times were so dark (and even if they did not had the chance to have a happy ending).
The last part make me thankful I forced myself to read the whole book. My heart is into pieces, I haven’t read a lot of books that made me cry so much. The grief is so hard and violent, directly from the guts, you can see it’s not a fiction.
The writing is very good and poetic but it felt sometimes a bit too much.
It can just be the fact that’s it’s not a modern novel tho or just me idk. But tbh I was quite bored most of the time and I found the overall a bit messy especially the switching between different parts of the love story.
It’s hard to review and judge a memoir because that’s someone story and but I felt like parts of the story did not match the narrative (especially the threesome which comes from nowhere) and idk it felt out of place.
The last part of the book resonated more with me because it was more centered on the characters and less on long descriptions (but god how sad it is).
Idk I’m a bit disappointed. I can see that the book have way more to give than the movie which cuts important scenes but at the same time I would have preferred a more organized story, not something that feels like a fever dream sometimes.
I’m still glad to be able to read a based on true event story from this era even if it’s breaking my heart even more. It’s rare to see such a complete testimony from a gay man in the Soviet Union.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 21, 2025
I'm torn on this one because it is a super interesting story, and very rare and important to hear queer voices from the Soviet Union (here from the early 70's to late 80's).
However, I truly wish that Sergey Fetisov had had the privilege of a ghost writer to help make this a more enjoyable read (strictly from a writing standpoint, because the story is already there). Part of this could also be due to the translation - things are never as clear and lovely written read through a translator's lens.
In any case, the first 3 parts of this book are full of poetic rambling with an obscene number of adjectives per sentence. You're left trying to read between the lines to get the necessary information to understand what is happening because the author has used up his word count on adjectives and neglected to give us what we need to make sense of where we are, when we are, who is there, etc.
This leaves the last part to try and tie everything together, but still failing to give the reader what they need to know.
I have not yet seen the film but will, and I am glad that I read this beforehand.
However, I truly wish that Sergey Fetisov had had the privilege of a ghost writer to help make this a more enjoyable read (strictly from a writing standpoint, because the story is already there). Part of this could also be due to the translation - things are never as clear and lovely written read through a translator's lens.
In any case, the first 3 parts of this book are full of poetic rambling with an obscene number of adjectives per sentence. You're left trying to read between the lines to get the necessary information to understand what is happening because the author has used up his word count on adjectives and neglected to give us what we need to make sense of where we are, when we are, who is there, etc.
This leaves the last part to try and tie everything together, but still failing to give the reader what they need to know.
I have not yet seen the film but will, and I am glad that I read this beforehand.
June 24, 2024
Part IV, a parte mais dolorosa e a que mais fez sentido no livro, na minha ótica.
O livro é razoável, não vou também criticar com 3 pedras na mão porque existem livros piores, mas, não é um dos favoritos confesso. Eu não entendi muita coisa do livro, talvez por estar em inglês? Creio que não, entendi a maior parte das palavras. Perderam a oportunidade de colocar muitas cenas marcantes como a do quarto com o aviãozinho "Why Sweden?" e a marcante da capa "Up here".
Em relação ao filme PUTA QUE PARIU, o meu filme favorito de facto, o elenco, o roteiro, a Rússia em si (nunca pensei dizer isto). Tive várias sensações ao ver desde tristeza, a nervosismo, a felicidade, adoro também por ser uma história verídica, tipo, aconteceu aquilo...
Referi as fotos no final do livro? A foto daquela cena (chorei) (surtei) !!
O livro é razoável, não vou também criticar com 3 pedras na mão porque existem livros piores, mas, não é um dos favoritos confesso. Eu não entendi muita coisa do livro, talvez por estar em inglês? Creio que não, entendi a maior parte das palavras. Perderam a oportunidade de colocar muitas cenas marcantes como a do quarto com o aviãozinho "Why Sweden?" e a marcante da capa "Up here".
Em relação ao filme PUTA QUE PARIU, o meu filme favorito de facto, o elenco, o roteiro, a Rússia em si (nunca pensei dizer isto). Tive várias sensações ao ver desde tristeza, a nervosismo, a felicidade, adoro também por ser uma história verídica, tipo, aconteceu aquilo...
Referi as fotos no final do livro? A foto daquela cena (chorei) (surtei) !!
October 14, 2024
A fascinating memoir by late Russian actor Sergey Fetisov about his passionate love affair with a pilot, Roman, while doing military service in the Soviet air force in Soviet-controlled Estonia in the 1970s. Taking place over nearly 10 years, it traces their story from the first year of their relationship, full of joy and physicality, through to Roman’s later struggle to reconcile his love for Sergey with his desire to have a family in a heteronormative society. Throughout it all, they find allies, including their colonel, called The Old Man, who turns out to have his own secret. The film adaptation, called Firebird, makes many clever changes to contextualise, clarify and open up the story (including the inspired addition of the firebird motif) but the full real story can be found in this emotional, candid and deeply personal memoir.
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May 20, 2025When I started reading “Firebird”, it was almost like I was reading a boys love novel. The book is divided into 5 parts. In parts 1 through 3, Sergey wrote all about the beautiful love he experienced. We get one love ‘scene’ after the other almost from the get go. The book is written in such a way, it’s almost a bit whimsical. There’s so much passion, so much tender sweet love, it honestly was a real joy to read. From part 4 onward, the beautiful love story starts shattering & reality quickly hits the reader like a brick. Despite already knowing what was coming because of the movie, the heaviness of the raw, vulnerable emotions still really messed with my own emotions. I would give anything in the world to experience love in such way, but no way I would ever survive such heartache. There’s no way I could actually rate this book, but I do highly recommend it!
March 21, 2024
Unless you have a heart of stone, you can't but be deeply moved by this true story. And I am very happy that the success met by the film based upon it, "Firebird" puts paid to all the smear and scorn splashed on the film criticism pages in a famous newspaper (I won't name names, you know which one I mean...), yet another example of how the thinking elite, too often considered the arbiters of taste, can be way off the mark!
Sergey Fetisov's account sparks off a wide range of emotions, hope, nail-biting anguish and profound sadness. It is a harrowing testimony to what it means when you are denied the right to be your own self and fall in love in a totalitarian regime.
Sergey Fetisov's account sparks off a wide range of emotions, hope, nail-biting anguish and profound sadness. It is a harrowing testimony to what it means when you are denied the right to be your own self and fall in love in a totalitarian regime.
September 12, 2024
I have no words!
I watched Firebird when it came onto Netflix in Canada and when I realized that it was based on the novel, I knew I had to read it.
The passion and love that Sergey shares in his words is moving and beautiful. As a queer woman born in the 90s, I've never had to hide my love the way Roman and Sergey did, but I've felt the sting in my own way. My heart breaks for all those who have ever had to pretend to be someone else, to choose between life and love, to lose the person they love with everything they have and not even be able to be fully open about it until many years later.
I cried basically the entire last part of the novel, but it was worth every tear.
I watched Firebird when it came onto Netflix in Canada and when I realized that it was based on the novel, I knew I had to read it.
The passion and love that Sergey shares in his words is moving and beautiful. As a queer woman born in the 90s, I've never had to hide my love the way Roman and Sergey did, but I've felt the sting in my own way. My heart breaks for all those who have ever had to pretend to be someone else, to choose between life and love, to lose the person they love with everything they have and not even be able to be fully open about it until many years later.
I cried basically the entire last part of the novel, but it was worth every tear.
November 29, 2024
This poignant graphic novel is what happens when raw emotional storytelling meets stunning visuals. Roman, our broody protagonist, embarks on a bittersweet journey of self-discovery, heartbreak, and healing. The artwork is breathtaking, blending abstract imagery with vibrant color palettes that perfectly reflect Roman’s inner turmoil. Firebird feels like a quiet punch to the soul, tackling topics like grief, love, and identity with unflinching honesty. It’s a short but powerful read that stays with you longer than the fleeting moments of happiness Roman is chasing. Bring tissues and prepare to stare at the ceiling after finishing.
May 28, 2025
Even if i didn't love the book, I gave it 4 stars because it's an impressive story that needed to be told. The story itself is really remarkable and a much more interesting story than what is portrayed in the movie.
It has some powerful moments that are well-written, but overall the book succeeds despite the author's efforts. I think this memoir is the only book the author ever wrote, and I'm glad he wrote it.
I was surprised by how accepted or at least tolerated the romance was in different public and private settings portrayed throughout. I thought the book would include details about social repression under Soviet times, but it's never mentioned.
It has some powerful moments that are well-written, but overall the book succeeds despite the author's efforts. I think this memoir is the only book the author ever wrote, and I'm glad he wrote it.
I was surprised by how accepted or at least tolerated the romance was in different public and private settings portrayed throughout. I thought the book would include details about social repression under Soviet times, but it's never mentioned.
March 31, 2025
I have never cried more times reading a book. It’s not just one long sob. It’s not just from sadness or happiness. It is a constant of emotional beats that leave you inspired and helpless, especially knowing there are real people behind it. It makes me scared with how America is backtracking. It’s so, so heartbreaking and soul crushing to think of anyone—especially in my own country—having to go through what Roman did, what Sergey did, and what millions of men and women around the world went through during the war, before then, and even today.
October 16, 2025
A really touching book. The writing is exceptionally vivid and romantic, even if it does get sappy at times. My main critique of the book is that I feel it is too individualistic to really address the societal wrongs that cause Roman and Sergey's life to be so difficult. There is absolutely the pressure of heteronormativity that presses on their lives, but there isn't much focus on the role of systems of power in enforcing and maintaining this heteronormativity. Maybe I'm asking too much of a memoir.
June 20, 2024
If y'all want an actual love story, this is the one to read.
I thought the film was good when I first saw it, but as soon as I picked up the book, I fell in love with both adaptations for the story of Roman. Sergey was a strong man who faced his own battles, even if he didn't face actual war. I felt bad for Roman for not feeling complete. My most favorite quote is "Black Thorns and roses, smiles and tears They're sown together and grow so near.:
I thought the film was good when I first saw it, but as soon as I picked up the book, I fell in love with both adaptations for the story of Roman. Sergey was a strong man who faced his own battles, even if he didn't face actual war. I felt bad for Roman for not feeling complete. My most favorite quote is "Black Thorns and roses, smiles and tears They're sown together and grow so near.:
April 7, 2025
2.5 stars
I had high hopes for this book. Its a sad love story based on truth. The story takes place in the 70s. A relationship is built by 2 men who i think you could say were soulmates.
My problem with the book is that most of the book was about their infatuation with each other but didn't give a lot of background to the story. If there was more story and less about how much love they had for each other, I may have been more invested in the characters and their story.
I had high hopes for this book. Its a sad love story based on truth. The story takes place in the 70s. A relationship is built by 2 men who i think you could say were soulmates.
My problem with the book is that most of the book was about their infatuation with each other but didn't give a lot of background to the story. If there was more story and less about how much love they had for each other, I may have been more invested in the characters and their story.
July 14, 2025
i watched this movie sometime a year ago. i was searching desperately for some old timey gay angst to break my heart and it was everything i was looking for. so knowing there was a book, too, means i had to read it eventually. how fucking beautiful and sad this is. i loved it. i wish it wasn't a library book because i wanted to highlight every other line of gorgeous writing.
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