Let me intro this by saying I ADORED the Love Hypothesis. Five stars and a chef's kiss.
But this.
THIS.
THIS GETS ONE BLOODY STAR and i have barely ever been so disappointed with a book in my life.
*screams into pillow*
The characters were cardboard, the plot was vanilla, the romantic tension was nonexistent, and let me actually start this review before i spill everything in the intro.
“As an environmental engineer, Mara knows all about the delicate nature of ecosystems. They require balance. And leaving the thermostat alone. And not stealing someone else’s food. And other rules Liam, her detestable big-oil lawyer of a roommate, knows nothing about. Okay, sure, technically she’s the interloper. Liam was already entrenched in his aunt’s house like some glowering grumpy giant when Mara moved in, with his big muscles and kissable mouth just sitting there on the couch tempting respectable scientists to the dark side…but Helena was her mentor and Mara’s not about to move out and give up her inheritance without a fight.
The problem is, living with someone means getting to know them. And the more Mara finds out about Liam, the harder it is to loathe him…and the easier it is to love him.”
SEE THE AMOUNT OF POTENTIAL THIS THING HAD?
AND WHERE DID IT ALL END UP?
THE TRASH, THAT’S WHERE.
ugh let’s begin with the plot.
So you remember how the Love Hypothesis had this whole side plot about Olive trying to obtain funding for her liver cancer research and overcoming sexism and harassment in the workplace?
Yeah, well, the research/science angle was barely in this one. For being a so-called woman in engineering, we never get even one scene of Mara at her engineering company, we never learn what projects she’s working on, and the most sciencey thing this college-certified engineer does is deconstruct a microwave. I mean, even an engineering-disliking girl such as myself can deconstruct a microwave by throwing it out the window.
Mara does mention how her sexist boss dismisses her and her ideas and then takes credit for her work, but at best, it's merely touched on. No specificity. An annoyance mentioned in passing, instead of giving Mara a fight and life outside of her relationship with Liam.
The rest of the plot is easily broken down into two recurring events: Liam and Mara being mad at/getting to know each other and Mara ranting about Liam to her friends.
also hearing those cringy science jokes on audiobook was just plain painful.
It's all very vanilla and bland and tame, BUT. RIGHT AT THE END OF THE NOVEL. THEY CONFESS THEIR FEELINGS AND THEN THE ENTIRE LAST 16% OF THIS NOVELLA WAS A *GRAPHIC* BEDROOM SCENE.
i was so annoyed i skipped over the whole thing, but i heard from GR besties it was cringier than those science jokes.
so there’s that.
ONTO THE CHARACTERSSSS
The MCs (and the maybe two side characters) are cardboard flat people made of toddler emotions and vanilla extract. Every other page for the first third of the book, Mara declares her passionate and vehement hatred for Liam Harding.
Why, might you ask?
Ha! How dare you suggest there be a reason for such passion? That’s not important. The point is, they hate each other. DESPISE each other.
Don’t question it.
Anyways, because this reason was so obscure, I obviously missed how this mortal hatred originated when I first read it. So I went back to recheck the intro. And you know what the reason was?
THEIR LIVING HABITS.
THEY HATED EACH OTHER’S LIVING HABITS.
Mara’s psycho fantasies about violently maiming Liam were because of HOW HE LIVED IN HIS OWN HOUSE??? THAT HE OWNED???
ugh.
Aside from her psychopathic tendencies (which seem to be present in all Hazelwood's heroines, I just finished Love on the Brain 🤢), Mara was so emotionally unintelligent that i wanted to knock her out the window about 500 seperate times. Like I get you might not have many friends but YOU HAVE A GRADUATE DEGREE SIS I KNOW YOU KNOW COMMON SENSE.
case in point: in this one scene, Liam approaches Mara and inhales sharply when he gets close.
Now, instead of just ignoring this like a normal person, our graduate scientist proceeds to reason her way through this strange event: “do I smell bad? i bet i smell bad. in fact, this is liam. oh, i bet i smell like trash. i must smell horrible! is my shampoo finally failing me after eight years?”
Mara, small technicality here, but why would he inhale if you smelled like trash? *rolls eyes*
Speaking of Liam, let's discuss this man.
Liam was #1 emotionally cold and #2 physically hot.
That's it. That's his personality.
Except for a sob story to give him ✨depth✨ there’s nothing else about him that is remotely entertaining. Nada.
anyways, that’s all I got. I probably won’t read the last two novellas, but because I did love the Love Hypothesis, I’ll be reading Love on the Brain when it comes out.
i have enough loyalty to Ali Hazelwood left for that lol
(update: ha Love on the Brain was awful)
Ratings:
Star Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
If This Book Was a Movie Rating: R
Recommendations That Are Better Than This Book:
The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang