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Love & Autism
'Love has always intrigued me, in part because I have carried for a long time a feeling that I am doing love wrong.'
Michael made a name for himself on the hit show Love on the Spectrum. After his televised first dating experiences, will he complete his quest to find his queen?
Chloe was always good at maths, with feelings 'too big' to be contained. When she reconnects with her childhood boyfriend, it must be fate.
Noor has had a lot on her plate from a young age, especially at home. People-pleasing becomes her survival mode, but Noor can't keep her struggles inside forever.
Jess has spent a lifetime being put into different boxes. Through her strong will and creativity, can she break out and build a life that is truly her own?
Tim is a non-speaking autistic man who has been underestimated all his life. But through willpower, technology and a mother's love, he has a chance of finding a different kind of voice.
Through the intimate writing of critically-acclaimed autistic author Kay Kerr, Love & Autism presents an uplifting celebration of neurodivergent love, the search for it and a deeper look into the lives of autistic Australians.
Praise for Love & Autism
'Beautiful, nuanced and heartwarming, Love & Autism is an immersive, joyful read about life and love through an autistic lens. Kay Kerr gives us a wonderful and frank front-row seat to what it means to be autistic and to love, affectionately and refreshingly told from a neurodivergent perspective. A masterclass in narrative non-fiction and longform journalism, Love & Autism takes us on a journey of joy, heartache and hope, connecting us all through our shared love of love.' SALLY HEPWORTH
'Kay Kerr has done a wonderful job of community building through tender storytelling. This is an important, heartfelt and generous book for neurodivergent people, disabled people and allies.' CARLY FINDLAY OAM
'A fierce, tender and affirming celebration of the autistic community's capacity for, and experience of, love. Kay's writing is sharp but affectionate in its advocacy and validation, demonstrating the depth and breadth of neurodivergent experiences of love and romance. This is much-needed and eye-opening work.' SARAH AYOUB
'Love & Autism draws together complex, beautiful and personal storying shared from within the worlds, hearts and minds of neurodiverse peoples, while focusing on a subject which is relatable for love. Relational, both in focus and writing style, Kay has created a gift that may benefit all who have the privilege of unwrapping it.' DR AMY THUNIG
'A compassionate, affirming exploration of the vastness of love. Kerr writes with a journalist's hunger for the heart of the story and illuminates minds often misunderstood. Essential reading for neurodivergent and neurotypical lovers alike.' ANNA SPARGO-RYAN
Michael made a name for himself on the hit show Love on the Spectrum. After his televised first dating experiences, will he complete his quest to find his queen?
Chloe was always good at maths, with feelings 'too big' to be contained. When she reconnects with her childhood boyfriend, it must be fate.
Noor has had a lot on her plate from a young age, especially at home. People-pleasing becomes her survival mode, but Noor can't keep her struggles inside forever.
Jess has spent a lifetime being put into different boxes. Through her strong will and creativity, can she break out and build a life that is truly her own?
Tim is a non-speaking autistic man who has been underestimated all his life. But through willpower, technology and a mother's love, he has a chance of finding a different kind of voice.
Through the intimate writing of critically-acclaimed autistic author Kay Kerr, Love & Autism presents an uplifting celebration of neurodivergent love, the search for it and a deeper look into the lives of autistic Australians.
Praise for Love & Autism
'Beautiful, nuanced and heartwarming, Love & Autism is an immersive, joyful read about life and love through an autistic lens. Kay Kerr gives us a wonderful and frank front-row seat to what it means to be autistic and to love, affectionately and refreshingly told from a neurodivergent perspective. A masterclass in narrative non-fiction and longform journalism, Love & Autism takes us on a journey of joy, heartache and hope, connecting us all through our shared love of love.' SALLY HEPWORTH
'Kay Kerr has done a wonderful job of community building through tender storytelling. This is an important, heartfelt and generous book for neurodivergent people, disabled people and allies.' CARLY FINDLAY OAM
'A fierce, tender and affirming celebration of the autistic community's capacity for, and experience of, love. Kay's writing is sharp but affectionate in its advocacy and validation, demonstrating the depth and breadth of neurodivergent experiences of love and romance. This is much-needed and eye-opening work.' SARAH AYOUB
'Love & Autism draws together complex, beautiful and personal storying shared from within the worlds, hearts and minds of neurodiverse peoples, while focusing on a subject which is relatable for love. Relational, both in focus and writing style, Kay has created a gift that may benefit all who have the privilege of unwrapping it.' DR AMY THUNIG
'A compassionate, affirming exploration of the vastness of love. Kerr writes with a journalist's hunger for the heart of the story and illuminates minds often misunderstood. Essential reading for neurodivergent and neurotypical lovers alike.' ANNA SPARGO-RYAN
235 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 28, 2023
46 people are currently reading
1945 people want to read
About the author
Kay Kerr
8 books150 followersKay Kerr is an autistic author and journalist from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.
PLEASE DON'T HUG ME is Kay's first book, and was shortlisted for the Australian Book Industry Awards (ABIAs) Book of the Year for Older Readers. It was also a Children's Book Council of Australia (CBCA) 2021 Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her second novel, SOCIAL QUEUE, is a YA romance with an autistic girl at the heart of it. It was shortlisted for the Queensland Literary Awards, and also a CBCA Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her narrative non-fiction book, LOVE & AUTISM, is out now. It is an exploration and celebration of autistic lives, as well as a return to her journalistic roots.
PLEASE DON'T HUG ME is Kay's first book, and was shortlisted for the Australian Book Industry Awards (ABIAs) Book of the Year for Older Readers. It was also a Children's Book Council of Australia (CBCA) 2021 Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her second novel, SOCIAL QUEUE, is a YA romance with an autistic girl at the heart of it. It was shortlisted for the Queensland Literary Awards, and also a CBCA Notable Book for Older Readers.
Her narrative non-fiction book, LOVE & AUTISM, is out now. It is an exploration and celebration of autistic lives, as well as a return to her journalistic roots.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
November 9, 2025
I feel… so seen?!
If I hadn’t gotten my autism diagnosis a few months ago, this book would have made me reach out. I have never related so much to different stories and ways of seeing, feeling, and experiencing the world.
Random things that I thought were just ‘Caitlin’ things rather than neurodivergent.
Lists, comfort food all the time, an obsession with books, hyperlexia, info dumping, perfectionism, fear of rejection. A detrimental need for routine, a deep fear of change, and an inability to manage it well. A way of preparing for any situation, social scripts, observation, and imitation. Different ways of showing and handling love. Touch, texture, mind, and body business…
You better believe I have already shoved this in my parents’ hands and will be sending it to all of my neurodivergent interested friends and family.
I do not think we need to separate autism from the person to be able to see and appreciate their humanity. Autism is not something I carry around with me, like sunglasses or a miniature poodle. It is part of my makeup, and it cannot be separated.
I do not think it offers anything breakthrough, but its tender messaging and easy, accessible language make this great.
The most important message - we all react, behave, and show differently. There is no one simple diagnosis with a checklist.
Be compassionate.
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If I hadn’t gotten my autism diagnosis a few months ago, this book would have made me reach out. I have never related so much to different stories and ways of seeing, feeling, and experiencing the world.
Random things that I thought were just ‘Caitlin’ things rather than neurodivergent.
Lists, comfort food all the time, an obsession with books, hyperlexia, info dumping, perfectionism, fear of rejection. A detrimental need for routine, a deep fear of change, and an inability to manage it well. A way of preparing for any situation, social scripts, observation, and imitation. Different ways of showing and handling love. Touch, texture, mind, and body business…
You better believe I have already shoved this in my parents’ hands and will be sending it to all of my neurodivergent interested friends and family.
I do not think we need to separate autism from the person to be able to see and appreciate their humanity. Autism is not something I carry around with me, like sunglasses or a miniature poodle. It is part of my makeup, and it cannot be separated.
I do not think it offers anything breakthrough, but its tender messaging and easy, accessible language make this great.
The most important message - we all react, behave, and show differently. There is no one simple diagnosis with a checklist.
Be compassionate.
Bookstagram
Tiktok
May 6, 2023
It's always hard reviewing non-fiction books since ones like this are personal stories.
All I can say is that I saw myself in SO many of these stories. I didn't know that I was autistic and after doing a lot of research, and reading more than I care to admit, I've realised I am. Getting an official diagnosis is extremely costly, so I can't do that yet, but maybe one day!
The stories in here were so insightful, so lovely, and so heartfelt.
I appreciate Kay for putting this together, and adding her own pieces, too.
My heart loves this book so much.
Thank you.
All I can say is that I saw myself in SO many of these stories. I didn't know that I was autistic and after doing a lot of research, and reading more than I care to admit, I've realised I am. Getting an official diagnosis is extremely costly, so I can't do that yet, but maybe one day!
The stories in here were so insightful, so lovely, and so heartfelt.
I appreciate Kay for putting this together, and adding her own pieces, too.
My heart loves this book so much.
Thank you.
March 26, 2023
So I am Kay’s literary agent - full disclosure!
After hearing about this and seeing the behind-the-scenes work unfold with such care and excitement, it’s been an absolute delight to sit down and read this advanced reader copy of ‘Love & Autism’ by Kay Kerr coming out with PanMacmillan in literally 3 more days!
The most beautiful and tender, true and open nonfiction exploration into love that you’ll read in a *long* time — Kay Kerr has delivered an absolute winner that pulses on the page, heart and soul.
After hearing about this and seeing the behind-the-scenes work unfold with such care and excitement, it’s been an absolute delight to sit down and read this advanced reader copy of ‘Love & Autism’ by Kay Kerr coming out with PanMacmillan in literally 3 more days!
The most beautiful and tender, true and open nonfiction exploration into love that you’ll read in a *long* time — Kay Kerr has delivered an absolute winner that pulses on the page, heart and soul.
April 2, 2023
For someone who is an author, I feel I lack enough words to even begin to endorse this book for the wonderful creation it is. I had all the feels, I loved all the stories, I felt so validated and seen, and I felt so at home in Kay’s words and the participants’ stories. I felt hope for the future and hope for humanity. I simply did not want this to end. Can we please have a sequel? Thank you, Kay, Michael, Chloe, Noor, Jess and Tim for allowing us into your lives.
March 24, 2024
I read this to understand whether my autistic traits could help explain my romantic relationships. But I was very disappointed.
The book didn't really explore autistic love. It was just a simplistic autism liberation book that has been written again and again. In this model, autism is an essential characteristic that explains everything that is good and bad in someone's life.
This borders on absurdity when Kerr talks about an autistic person enjoying roller blading:
This is the same reason everyone likes roller blading, it has next to nothing to do with autism. As Kerr points out, autistic people can be both hyper or hypo sensitive.
This happens again when she talks about autonomy being especially important to autistic people:
Errr no.. autonomy is important for everyone. Also, rock-climbing is more fun than bush walking..
Another problem with autism liberation is the rejection of expert advice:
This is a rejection of the psychological establishment, who have developed methods and standards for understanding psych conditions. Instead autistic liberation endorses the opinions and feelings of random lay people who have been diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as being autistic. This is an illiberal rejection of expertise imo.
This all seems pretty innocuous when talking about what activities are fun, but autistic essentialism does reduce accountability. When the world does not respond as you wish, the fault is with the world for not accepting you as an autistic people. This creates no room for the autistic person to be at fault for not accommodating others.
Kerr interviews an autistic psychologist who admits as much when talking about self-diagnosis:
This is the crux of the problem with autistic liberation. The world asks a lot of everyone, autistic or otherwise. Sometimes autistic traits make that more difficult (e.g. networking is hard if you have low social capacity), but in other cases autistic traits make it easier to navigate the world. Information workers in finance, tech and law are some of the highest paid practitioners, and autistic traits 100% help with these roles.
Yes, autisim liberation might argue it is unfair that the world rewards networking, which is harder for people with autistic traits. But then surely it is also unfair that the world rewards logic reasoning (autistic trait) and not emotional intuition (not typically an autistic trait).
An essentialist perspective leads autistic liberation writers to focus on how the world works against autistic traits, but not how it rewards autistic traits. This risks engendering a sense that autistic people should not try. The reality is anything but that. The information revolution has created incredible opportunities for people with autistic traits. See Tyler Cowen's "The Age of the Infovore" for a long from account.
The most useful part of this book was the brief chapter on the 5 autistic love languages. I found this useful because these are ways I show love and affection that were non-obvious based on how love is portrayed in the culture. I'm especially into parallel play, support swapping ,and "Please Crush my Soul Back Into My Body". Idk.
People will read this review and see me as a cynic who is against autistic liberation. But I'm anything but. I can see there was a branch of my life where I embraced my autistic traits by avoiding social situations. I could've blamed the world for not accepting my autistic traits. Autism liberation books would have been music to my ears.
But I didn't. I worked really hard on tasks that were hard for me like communicating in a loud room with people I don't know too well. Now I can go to work events like conferences and am a passable "networker". I avoid the night out afterwards because clubs are sensory hell and I'm burnt out after a day of networking, but my autistic traits don't hold me back at work. In fact, I can get ahead by winning at autistic networking by writing work blogs and articles that are shared widely without me needing to interact in person.
I don't want young people with autistic traits to give up because they can achieve so much in the modern information world. This is actually an issue I care about so much that I'd consider writing a book about this. Hmm.
The book didn't really explore autistic love. It was just a simplistic autism liberation book that has been written again and again. In this model, autism is an essential characteristic that explains everything that is good and bad in someone's life.
This borders on absurdity when Kerr talks about an autistic person enjoying roller blading:
Rollerblading offers her body a fun outlet for her sensory-seeking. Autistic people have sensory experiences that differ to those of non-autistic people, and can be hypersensitive (very sensitive) or hyposensitive (experience fewer sensations) or both. Jess describes herself as feeling free when flying down the street, the wind in her hair, which is something she does not often get to feel.
This is the same reason everyone likes roller blading, it has next to nothing to do with autism. As Kerr points out, autistic people can be both hyper or hypo sensitive.
This happens again when she talks about autonomy being especially important to autistic people:
School camp is another elective. Where in earlier years it had been compulsory and filled with a lot of bushwalking, year ten students can pick their own pursuits. Jess attends a rock-climbing camp and has the best week of her school life to date.
‘Having autonomy and choice made a huge difference, especially when it was something I was actually interested in,’ she says.
Autonomy is such an important desire and right for austistic people...
Errr no.. autonomy is important for everyone. Also, rock-climbing is more fun than bush walking..
Another problem with autism liberation is the rejection of expert advice:
Even among those who love and support us, many still do not view autistic people as the experts on autism.
This is a rejection of the psychological establishment, who have developed methods and standards for understanding psych conditions. Instead autistic liberation endorses the opinions and feelings of random lay people who have been diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as being autistic. This is an illiberal rejection of expertise imo.
This all seems pretty innocuous when talking about what activities are fun, but autistic essentialism does reduce accountability. When the world does not respond as you wish, the fault is with the world for not accepting you as an autistic people. This creates no room for the autistic person to be at fault for not accommodating others.
Kerr interviews an autistic psychologist who admits as much when talking about self-diagnosis:
I want to say, “No, I think that’s more of a you thing than an autistic thing.” It’s almost like, then I can’t call you out on that because you’re labelling it as autistic, it’s removing accountability.’
This is the crux of the problem with autistic liberation. The world asks a lot of everyone, autistic or otherwise. Sometimes autistic traits make that more difficult (e.g. networking is hard if you have low social capacity), but in other cases autistic traits make it easier to navigate the world. Information workers in finance, tech and law are some of the highest paid practitioners, and autistic traits 100% help with these roles.
Yes, autisim liberation might argue it is unfair that the world rewards networking, which is harder for people with autistic traits. But then surely it is also unfair that the world rewards logic reasoning (autistic trait) and not emotional intuition (not typically an autistic trait).
An essentialist perspective leads autistic liberation writers to focus on how the world works against autistic traits, but not how it rewards autistic traits. This risks engendering a sense that autistic people should not try. The reality is anything but that. The information revolution has created incredible opportunities for people with autistic traits. See Tyler Cowen's "The Age of the Infovore" for a long from account.
The most useful part of this book was the brief chapter on the 5 autistic love languages. I found this useful because these are ways I show love and affection that were non-obvious based on how love is portrayed in the culture. I'm especially into parallel play, support swapping ,and "Please Crush my Soul Back Into My Body". Idk.
People will read this review and see me as a cynic who is against autistic liberation. But I'm anything but. I can see there was a branch of my life where I embraced my autistic traits by avoiding social situations. I could've blamed the world for not accepting my autistic traits. Autism liberation books would have been music to my ears.
But I didn't. I worked really hard on tasks that were hard for me like communicating in a loud room with people I don't know too well. Now I can go to work events like conferences and am a passable "networker". I avoid the night out afterwards because clubs are sensory hell and I'm burnt out after a day of networking, but my autistic traits don't hold me back at work. In fact, I can get ahead by winning at autistic networking by writing work blogs and articles that are shared widely without me needing to interact in person.
I don't want young people with autistic traits to give up because they can achieve so much in the modern information world. This is actually an issue I care about so much that I'd consider writing a book about this. Hmm.
January 9, 2024
Reviewers are using the word “heartfelt” to describe this book and I gotta agree! This book shares the experiences of autistic folks in Australia and goes beyond that too. It describes a diverse set of individuals and explores their lives chronologically, blending in information about history, the science of autism, and other areas—this is not just people’s life stories outside of context! And each book section also includes essays and other content outside of the personal stories of the main crew of people.
Very happy to see the author mindful of language, gender inclusion, and social factors. It tackles religion, disability, marriage, sexuality, parenting, dating, pets, academia, diagnoses, and more. AND this book DOES include the experiences of non-speaking autistics which is unfortunately so rare!! If you’re looking for a bullet-pointed instruction manual about autism, this isn’t it. Instead, if you want an inclusive, current, thoughtful book with people’s stories—through which knowledge can be gathered too—this is a good one.
Very happy to see the author mindful of language, gender inclusion, and social factors. It tackles religion, disability, marriage, sexuality, parenting, dating, pets, academia, diagnoses, and more. AND this book DOES include the experiences of non-speaking autistics which is unfortunately so rare!! If you’re looking for a bullet-pointed instruction manual about autism, this isn’t it. Instead, if you want an inclusive, current, thoughtful book with people’s stories—through which knowledge can be gathered too—this is a good one.
May 31, 2024
“Real lives are endlessly interesting in the uniqueness of the details and the commonality of the feelings.”
July 2, 2023
- thanks to @macmillanaus for my #gifted copy
I was very young the first time I was told someone I knew —another kid younger than me— was autistic. I did not understand much, but with my wise and uncomplicated young mind, I remember thinking, 'I get it, our brains work differently. What's the big deal?'. Since then, I have tried my very best to stay quiet, listen and read, and when welcomed, ask questions to understand autism.
However, although I have read a significant number of books about autism and/or written by autistic authors, I never encountered a book such as Love & Autism. Far from dismissing anyone's work, I still have to emphasise on how utterly remarkable, relevant and impactful this book is.
I was profoundly moved by Kay's vulnerability, authenticity and bravery behind her words. Writing a book is never easy, but writing a book hoping to make an impression powerful enough to change perceptions is undoubtedly commendable. I did not doubt at any point the very noble intentions behind Love & Autism nor Kay's ability to explore the complexities and nuances of love in a world that still condemns and discriminates against anything or anyone labelled as 'different'.
Apart from Key's personal commentary and delightful research skills, I also loved learning about the lived experiences of five neurodivergent people and their different ways of loving. Each perspective was unique and imperative to understand that love takes many various forms and that kindness and empathy are necessary to relate to any fellow human being. I was also extremely pleased to read about all types of love stories, not only romantic ones.
Love & Autism invites everyone to understand and rationalise —hopefully, once and for all— that autism is not a tragedy but one layer of the complex human experience that enriches and nurtures our infinitely intricate world.
Overall, Love & Autism is a Non-Fiction must-read. Nothing I can say can possibly do justice to this unmissable book. Please read it.
I was very young the first time I was told someone I knew —another kid younger than me— was autistic. I did not understand much, but with my wise and uncomplicated young mind, I remember thinking, 'I get it, our brains work differently. What's the big deal?'. Since then, I have tried my very best to stay quiet, listen and read, and when welcomed, ask questions to understand autism.
However, although I have read a significant number of books about autism and/or written by autistic authors, I never encountered a book such as Love & Autism. Far from dismissing anyone's work, I still have to emphasise on how utterly remarkable, relevant and impactful this book is.
I was profoundly moved by Kay's vulnerability, authenticity and bravery behind her words. Writing a book is never easy, but writing a book hoping to make an impression powerful enough to change perceptions is undoubtedly commendable. I did not doubt at any point the very noble intentions behind Love & Autism nor Kay's ability to explore the complexities and nuances of love in a world that still condemns and discriminates against anything or anyone labelled as 'different'.
Apart from Key's personal commentary and delightful research skills, I also loved learning about the lived experiences of five neurodivergent people and their different ways of loving. Each perspective was unique and imperative to understand that love takes many various forms and that kindness and empathy are necessary to relate to any fellow human being. I was also extremely pleased to read about all types of love stories, not only romantic ones.
Love & Autism invites everyone to understand and rationalise —hopefully, once and for all— that autism is not a tragedy but one layer of the complex human experience that enriches and nurtures our infinitely intricate world.
Overall, Love & Autism is a Non-Fiction must-read. Nothing I can say can possibly do justice to this unmissable book. Please read it.
July 4, 2023
Love & Autism gives us a fantastic insight into the lives of Michael, Tim, Noor, Jess and Chloe. They all have Autism which just means their brains work differently to a nuerotypical person. All of them receive and give love differently.
As a mother of a child with autism, the future has so many uncertainties but this book gave me hope. It also helped me understand so many things that can now assist me assist Oscar better. My review does not do this book justice but I know it is a resource that I will come back to again and again.
As a mother of a child with autism, the future has so many uncertainties but this book gave me hope. It also helped me understand so many things that can now assist me assist Oscar better. My review does not do this book justice but I know it is a resource that I will come back to again and again.
March 27, 2023
Heartfelt and open, exploring the lives of 5 autistic Australian adults and the importance of love in their lives. Though some of the reflections are about romantic love, it is very much about love for others, love for life and more importantly love of oneself.
October 8, 2023
A warm hug for autistic people and imo a must read for those with autistic friends or family.
August 6, 2023
“Loving yourself in a world that measures you by what you can’t do is a radical act.”
March 15, 2024
4.5 stars - such an important, beautiful book! It gives great insight to autistic peoples preferences and perspectives! Highly recommend to everyone!
December 26, 2025
This is an incredible narrative non-fiction book about five autistic people’s experiences with love in all its forms. The structure of this book was thoroughly engaging and I enjoyed hearing about the author’s own experiences throughout. This was such an affirming read, it really hones in on letting autistic people live and thrive in their own ways. I also loved the mentions of autistic joy! A great read!
October 8, 2023
Chloë’s connection with cherub by ball park music feels so personal that song means so much to me
June 26, 2023
A celebration of neurodivergence, and the pride, love and pure joy of autistic self-expression. This book is such a heartfelt, warm and authentic portrayal of life as an autistic person, telling the stories of five members of Australia’s autistic community, interwoven with Kay Kerr’s fantastic personal story and introspective essays. While not shying away from her interviewees experiences with hardship and trauma, Kerr highlights happiness, connection and self-discovery. She steers the discourse well away from the deficit model of autism in a beautiful and well-articulated way, making this a truly powerful and delightful book. This is a fantastic, affirming and open-hearted read for autistic people, those who love and support them, and for those who would like to learn more.
March 16, 2024
Informative inside look
Five different autistic people are interviewed about their experience of life. This includes looking for and experiencing love. I think I would have enjoyed it more if each person’s story had been told in its entirety rather than in pieces. I found it difficult to stay engaged with all the chopping and changing and it interrupted my sense of ‘getting to really know’ each person or feel close to them. Actually I guess the impact on me was that it kept the work more academic and less intimate.
Five different autistic people are interviewed about their experience of life. This includes looking for and experiencing love. I think I would have enjoyed it more if each person’s story had been told in its entirety rather than in pieces. I found it difficult to stay engaged with all the chopping and changing and it interrupted my sense of ‘getting to really know’ each person or feel close to them. Actually I guess the impact on me was that it kept the work more academic and less intimate.
July 14, 2023
Honestly don’t think I have anything bad to say. It was a bit more informational than I had thought but was still interesting. Although I didn’t learn anything different in the way of facts I did gain a different perspective and better understanding.
Full review will be on https://www.instagram.com/maggie_andt...
Full review will be on https://www.instagram.com/maggie_andt...
July 22, 2023
As a recently diagnosed autistic woman I found this book not only interesting but also life affirming and beautiful. Highly recommend.
June 7, 2023
As a parent of an adult son who is autistic I thought I knew all about neurodiversity, but this exceptionally well written and observed non-fiction book by Australian author Kay Kerr, herself autistic, gave me new insight,
As the title suggests, the book is about neurodivergent love - focusing on five young individuals - Michael, Chloe, Noor, Jess and Tim. Interspersed with snapshots of each of her subjects’ lives at various points (from childhood to adulthood and in some cases parenthood), Kerr inserts observations from her own life.
What emerges is the rich variety of individual experiences of autism, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise. After all, we do not expect the vast majority of people classified as neurotypical to have the same experience or outlook.
Kerr is of the view that autism is not a ‘disorder’ or a ‘tragedy’. She notes how so many people, when revealing they have a child is autistic, are met with the response “I’m so sorry” as if being neurodiverse is some kind of punishment.
Nevertheless, as any neurotypical parent of an autistic child knows, there are particular challenges for someone classified as neurodivergent in a world made for people who aren’t. But there are also enormous gifts, including a strong sense of social justice and empathy (despite the cliches about cold, calculating robot people), an enormous capacity for concentration and attention to detail and a prodigious memory.
Ultimately, this book is a plea to all of us to see autism as part of the tapestry of humanity and one that enriches the world we live in.
Hear hear to that.
As the title suggests, the book is about neurodivergent love - focusing on five young individuals - Michael, Chloe, Noor, Jess and Tim. Interspersed with snapshots of each of her subjects’ lives at various points (from childhood to adulthood and in some cases parenthood), Kerr inserts observations from her own life.
What emerges is the rich variety of individual experiences of autism, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise. After all, we do not expect the vast majority of people classified as neurotypical to have the same experience or outlook.
Kerr is of the view that autism is not a ‘disorder’ or a ‘tragedy’. She notes how so many people, when revealing they have a child is autistic, are met with the response “I’m so sorry” as if being neurodiverse is some kind of punishment.
Nevertheless, as any neurotypical parent of an autistic child knows, there are particular challenges for someone classified as neurodivergent in a world made for people who aren’t. But there are also enormous gifts, including a strong sense of social justice and empathy (despite the cliches about cold, calculating robot people), an enormous capacity for concentration and attention to detail and a prodigious memory.
Ultimately, this book is a plea to all of us to see autism as part of the tapestry of humanity and one that enriches the world we live in.
Hear hear to that.
June 7, 2023
A beautiful celebration of the many forms of neurodivergent love through the words of many different autistic Australians.
The books authentic nature—peppered with individual anecdotes, observations, interviews and research in additional to the in-depth discussions with the five interviewees—makes this such a joyous read. As someone with self-confessed limited knowledge of neurodiversity, the book was such a fantastic read about how we need to move away from our typical ‘deficit’ view of things such as autism to ones of celebration and care.
The nature of the book is best summed up in my view by one of the interviewees talks about her partner but also the care she shows her children:
“Love is safer, love is acceptance…and it is knowing that can count in the safe person to be around to always catch you, no matter what, and that you don’t have to bend yourself into all kinds of contorting shapes to be loved, to be who you are, and to be safe and seen”.
The books authentic nature—peppered with individual anecdotes, observations, interviews and research in additional to the in-depth discussions with the five interviewees—makes this such a joyous read. As someone with self-confessed limited knowledge of neurodiversity, the book was such a fantastic read about how we need to move away from our typical ‘deficit’ view of things such as autism to ones of celebration and care.
The nature of the book is best summed up in my view by one of the interviewees talks about her partner but also the care she shows her children:
“Love is safer, love is acceptance…and it is knowing that can count in the safe person to be around to always catch you, no matter what, and that you don’t have to bend yourself into all kinds of contorting shapes to be loved, to be who you are, and to be safe and seen”.
September 1, 2023
4.5 stars
A truly wonderful body of work. Full of insight, full of joy and full of information. I loved the essays dispersed throughout the book, and whilst I obviously loved the insight of the five autistic Australians this is centred around, I also really appreciated the added commentary from the author about her own life/lived experiences too. It made for a really personal read, one I’d highly recommend.
A truly wonderful body of work. Full of insight, full of joy and full of information. I loved the essays dispersed throughout the book, and whilst I obviously loved the insight of the five autistic Australians this is centred around, I also really appreciated the added commentary from the author about her own life/lived experiences too. It made for a really personal read, one I’d highly recommend.
November 14, 2024
3.75 stars for such an open and honest read
I listened to the audiobook version of this, which I loved as it was narrated by the author.
I love books like this because they give diversity a voice. I found this really interesting, hearing the different perspectives of a variety of people. Views and experiences on love and life. I laughed and I cried and smiled throughout.
I am honestly pleased I listened to the audiobook, I’m not sure it would have been quite as powerful in written form.
I listened to the audiobook version of this, which I loved as it was narrated by the author.
I love books like this because they give diversity a voice. I found this really interesting, hearing the different perspectives of a variety of people. Views and experiences on love and life. I laughed and I cried and smiled throughout.
I am honestly pleased I listened to the audiobook, I’m not sure it would have been quite as powerful in written form.
July 12, 2023
I love, love, loved this book! Reading the stories of these five fabulous autistic Australians was such an emotional experience for me. Some of the stories, especially relating to school experiences, had me in tears, but hearing each person’s thoughts on their lives now was so joyous and beautiful.
I listened to Love & Autism via BorrowBox and adored hearing Kaye read it. Even writing this review, I can feel that wonderful skin prickling sensation you get when something is super enjoyable. I experienced this frisson of excitement throughout the book.
This is a book I will be thinking about for a long time to come.
I listened to Love & Autism via BorrowBox and adored hearing Kaye read it. Even writing this review, I can feel that wonderful skin prickling sensation you get when something is super enjoyable. I experienced this frisson of excitement throughout the book.
This is a book I will be thinking about for a long time to come.
August 22, 2023
5 beautiful adults, communicating in away that makes sense to me, representing a breadth of perspective and thinking.
September 12, 2023
soo good as an audiobook
September 28, 2023
3.5*
"I wish people knew how much work autistic people do to fit in"
"I wish people knew how much work autistic people do to fit in"
December 7, 2023
a deeply beautiful book
June 27, 2024
5 stars!
a really fantastic and engaging guide to multiple aspects of autism, not just love. i really enjoyed kerr's passionate authorial voice in this book. looking forward to reading more from her!
a really fantastic and engaging guide to multiple aspects of autism, not just love. i really enjoyed kerr's passionate authorial voice in this book. looking forward to reading more from her!
April 16, 2023
“To misquote from the beloved 1990s movie 10 Things I Hate About You … “Autistic people can supposedly be ‘high functioning’ , and they can be ‘low functioning’, but can anyone every be ‘medium functioning’?”
Through the wonderful writing of Kerr we are presented with the navigation of love for neurodivergent people and the challenges that they faced. For a neurodivergent person love has its struggles, highs, lows and heartbreak and for some they are lucky to find companionship.
The book is broken up into five components and in each chapter we hear from five incredible and neurodivergent people, Michel who was on the hit show Love on the Spectrum, Chloe who was a math prodigy and had too many feelings, Noor who battled though people pleasing and social and religious traditions, Jess who spent her life being put into boxes and never finding her box until she built it for herself and Tim a non speaking autistic man who has been misunderstood and mistreated his whole life.
I highly recommend picking up a copy, I didn’t want this book to end, it was so eye opening to see the world and love from each persons perspective. I loved Kerr’s writing style and this book very raw and vulnerable, Kay, Michael, Chloe, Noor, Jess and Tim’s stories are all so different yet face very similar journeys of hardships, frustration, hope and connection.
Thank you for sharing this book with the world @kaykerr_ and congratulations!
Through the wonderful writing of Kerr we are presented with the navigation of love for neurodivergent people and the challenges that they faced. For a neurodivergent person love has its struggles, highs, lows and heartbreak and for some they are lucky to find companionship.
The book is broken up into five components and in each chapter we hear from five incredible and neurodivergent people, Michel who was on the hit show Love on the Spectrum, Chloe who was a math prodigy and had too many feelings, Noor who battled though people pleasing and social and religious traditions, Jess who spent her life being put into boxes and never finding her box until she built it for herself and Tim a non speaking autistic man who has been misunderstood and mistreated his whole life.
I highly recommend picking up a copy, I didn’t want this book to end, it was so eye opening to see the world and love from each persons perspective. I loved Kerr’s writing style and this book very raw and vulnerable, Kay, Michael, Chloe, Noor, Jess and Tim’s stories are all so different yet face very similar journeys of hardships, frustration, hope and connection.
Thank you for sharing this book with the world @kaykerr_ and congratulations!
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