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Weakness Is Not Sin: The Liberating Distinction That Awakens Our Strengths
An insightful book that both instructs and inspires — profound but also practical. Understanding the vital differences between weakness and sin can help us to trust more fully in the Lord, allowing Him to cleanse us from sin and transform our weaknesses into strengths. A book I will read again and again. — Brent L. Top, professor of Church history and doctrine, Brigham Young University
What is the difference between selfishness and depression? Immoral behavior and same-gender attraction? According to psychologist Wendy Ulrich, the difference is that the former are sins, while the latter are merely weaknesses.
In Weakness Is Not Sin; The Liberating Distinction That Awakens Our Strengths, Dr. Wendy Ulrich poses the question: How often do we respond to weaknesses with impatience and guilt, mistaking human fallibility for sin? Ulrich explains that human weaknesses can either lead to sin, or to greater strength through the grace of God — but weakness itself is a morally neutral concept, separate and distinct from sin.
Ulrich cautions that while many become despondent at the prospect of eliminating weaknesses, weakness is really just a part of the human condition. As we distinguish between weakness and sin, we can begin to use our weaknesses for good. Without recognizing this distinction, however, we can experience excessive shame and “miss out on much of the healing and peace God longs to give us,” Ulrich writes.
With keen doctrinal and professional insights, Ulrich helps us understand that sin and weakness have different origins, lead to different consequences, and call for different responses. Understanding the liberating distinction between weaknesses and sin sets us free to feel worthy and find true joy in our redemption. As we understand this important principle, we can learn to focus on strengths, and not despair over that which we cannot change.
What is the difference between selfishness and depression? Immoral behavior and same-gender attraction? According to psychologist Wendy Ulrich, the difference is that the former are sins, while the latter are merely weaknesses.
In Weakness Is Not Sin; The Liberating Distinction That Awakens Our Strengths, Dr. Wendy Ulrich poses the question: How often do we respond to weaknesses with impatience and guilt, mistaking human fallibility for sin? Ulrich explains that human weaknesses can either lead to sin, or to greater strength through the grace of God — but weakness itself is a morally neutral concept, separate and distinct from sin.
Ulrich cautions that while many become despondent at the prospect of eliminating weaknesses, weakness is really just a part of the human condition. As we distinguish between weakness and sin, we can begin to use our weaknesses for good. Without recognizing this distinction, however, we can experience excessive shame and “miss out on much of the healing and peace God longs to give us,” Ulrich writes.
With keen doctrinal and professional insights, Ulrich helps us understand that sin and weakness have different origins, lead to different consequences, and call for different responses. Understanding the liberating distinction between weaknesses and sin sets us free to feel worthy and find true joy in our redemption. As we understand this important principle, we can learn to focus on strengths, and not despair over that which we cannot change.
153 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
39 people are currently reading
663 people want to read
About the author
Wendy Ulrich
13 books50 followersWendy Ulrich, Ph.D., was a psychologist in private practice for over fifteen years in Michigan before joining her husband to serve when he was called as president of the Canada Montreal Mission in 2002. They now live in Alpine, Utah, where she founded Sixteen Stones Center for Growth, LLC, offering seminar retreats on forgiveness, abundant life, loss, spirituality, and personal growth (visit www.sixteenstones.net). She is the mother of three adult children, a former ward and stake Relief Society president, and a former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists. She is the author of Forgiving Ourselves and Weakness Is Not Sin.
from http://deseretbook.com/auth/18560/Wen...
from http://deseretbook.com/auth/18560/Wen...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
February 7, 2011
I stayed home from church sick yesterday, so this book was particularly appropriate reading material! Many of the ideas were familiar to me. In fact, some of them were eerily familar. Ulrich's discussion on how simply making herself a piece of toast involved the contributions of many, many people behind the scenes was something I had just pondered the other day. I also appreciated the fresh perspective on the parable of the
Good Samaritan. Her idea that there are no poor in Zion because there is no one with nothing to give also shed new light on a familiar concept that I had somehow never considered before. This is not a book that you can read and be done with so I am thankful to have my own copy to return to and put into practice those things that will help me take advantages of my God-given weaknesses. Thank you, Becky. My favorite quote is for you:
"Sharing our experience with someone who loves and supports us helps us feel less isolated and alone with our shame. Because the whole point of shame is to shun and exclude us, reconncecting with loving friends combats shame and keeps our foibles in perspective. Reconnecting with people who love us reminds us of our worth and value."
Good Samaritan. Her idea that there are no poor in Zion because there is no one with nothing to give also shed new light on a familiar concept that I had somehow never considered before. This is not a book that you can read and be done with so I am thankful to have my own copy to return to and put into practice those things that will help me take advantages of my God-given weaknesses. Thank you, Becky. My favorite quote is for you:
"Sharing our experience with someone who loves and supports us helps us feel less isolated and alone with our shame. Because the whole point of shame is to shun and exclude us, reconncecting with loving friends combats shame and keeps our foibles in perspective. Reconnecting with people who love us reminds us of our worth and value."
July 5, 2018
I’ve long felt that God looks differently on our sins and our weaknesses, but hadn’t done the scriptural deep dive in search of evidence and doctrine (beyond pondering the implications of Ether 12:27 that weakness is in fact a gift from God, given that we might be humble - a gift that we all at times wish we could mark Return to Sender). Wendy Ulrich has done that deep dive, and crafted a personal yet grounded exploration of the subject. I found the book illuminating and liberating. I found myself repeatedly tempted to shout “Yes! Exactly!” while reading. I regretted reading a Library copy, finding myself wanting to highlight and mark countless passages. Ultimately I bought my own copy and can’t wait to read it again. An edifying mix of reassurance and challenge to my often muddled relationship with my own mortal weakness.
June 8, 2020
I read Wendy Ulrich's article "It isn't a Sin to be Weak" a few years ago and it really changed my perspective on weakness, sin, and strength. This book expounded on this topic with important insights and personal questions to ponder.
Some notes I want to remember:
-"This book is based on two very simple ideas: Weakness and sin are very different. Weakness and strength are not."
-God's grace can make "weak things become strong," but not always in the ways we anticipate. This act is "perhaps His most wondrous and distinguishing act of creativity, genius, and love." I appreciated her list of possible ways this could play out in our lives. It helped widen my view on the many ways weak things can become strong.
-Personally ponder: "what in our life is a sin calling for repentance and change, and what is a weakness requiring humility and patient learning. We can also identify, develop, and contribute to the world from our strengths, putting as much energy as we can into this aspect of our personal mission."
-"I did not call you here to eliminate your weaknesses. I called you to serve from your strengths."
-I liked her list of possible weaknesses, including this one: "limitations on our time, energy, experience, skills, knowledge, and emotional capacity, as well as limitations on how much we know."
-The sweet story of Elder Busche teaching his son in humility instead of harsh criticism.
-"Our priority is to learn His priority for us."
-"The puny, crushable seed and the strong, vibrant tree are not different in their essence, only in there stage of development. The mighty tree emerges when the right conditions are provided to foster the seed's growth." Just like us.
-The Greek mythology story of Sisyphus who had to continually roll the boulder up the mountain...what if instead of seeing our weaknesses as frustrations and discouragements, we see them as valuable and productive.
-"Different spiritual strengths are like different languages through which we receive and express the Spirit." Strive to develop fluency in many spiritual languages to expand your spiritual repertoire.
-"God strengthens and empowers us, even when our weaknesses remain."
-www.authentichappiness.org to identify signature strengths (she also has a great list of strengths to ponder)
-Ponder what moves us and gives us a deep sense of satisfaction. "Our personal mission will often merge from these deep interests. God calls to us through what we love."
-"The intimacy with which God knows us and desires that we know Him is exactly what Moroni was worried about conveying through his inadequate words...How does one begin to convey, with the best of words, that God is so personal, so humble as to speak with us face to face?...There are still not words sufficient to portray such love. It can be understood only in the experience of a personal witness."
-"Our weakness in not just in our skill deficits and human frailties. Our weakness is not just in our lack of writing skill to express our experience with God. Our weakness in our very capacity to hold that experience, to tolerate such love. We are too weak to hold intimacy with God for more than glimpses and moments of earthly time. His goodness and mercy are so personal they overpower not only the capacity of our words but the capacity of our hearts."
-"The comfort and sustenance of the Spirt can truly be enough if we will let Him in. My problem is less my struggle to sacrifice and obey and more my struggle to receive."
-"Now do you realize just how much I love you?" (Question posed by her mother after Wendy had her first child.) "I also think, perhaps for the first time in my life, I began to understand something of how much God loves us."
Some notes I want to remember:
-"This book is based on two very simple ideas: Weakness and sin are very different. Weakness and strength are not."
-God's grace can make "weak things become strong," but not always in the ways we anticipate. This act is "perhaps His most wondrous and distinguishing act of creativity, genius, and love." I appreciated her list of possible ways this could play out in our lives. It helped widen my view on the many ways weak things can become strong.
-Personally ponder: "what in our life is a sin calling for repentance and change, and what is a weakness requiring humility and patient learning. We can also identify, develop, and contribute to the world from our strengths, putting as much energy as we can into this aspect of our personal mission."
-"I did not call you here to eliminate your weaknesses. I called you to serve from your strengths."
-I liked her list of possible weaknesses, including this one: "limitations on our time, energy, experience, skills, knowledge, and emotional capacity, as well as limitations on how much we know."
-The sweet story of Elder Busche teaching his son in humility instead of harsh criticism.
-"Our priority is to learn His priority for us."
-"The puny, crushable seed and the strong, vibrant tree are not different in their essence, only in there stage of development. The mighty tree emerges when the right conditions are provided to foster the seed's growth." Just like us.
-The Greek mythology story of Sisyphus who had to continually roll the boulder up the mountain...what if instead of seeing our weaknesses as frustrations and discouragements, we see them as valuable and productive.
-"Different spiritual strengths are like different languages through which we receive and express the Spirit." Strive to develop fluency in many spiritual languages to expand your spiritual repertoire.
-"God strengthens and empowers us, even when our weaknesses remain."
-www.authentichappiness.org to identify signature strengths (she also has a great list of strengths to ponder)
-Ponder what moves us and gives us a deep sense of satisfaction. "Our personal mission will often merge from these deep interests. God calls to us through what we love."
-"The intimacy with which God knows us and desires that we know Him is exactly what Moroni was worried about conveying through his inadequate words...How does one begin to convey, with the best of words, that God is so personal, so humble as to speak with us face to face?...There are still not words sufficient to portray such love. It can be understood only in the experience of a personal witness."
-"Our weakness in not just in our skill deficits and human frailties. Our weakness is not just in our lack of writing skill to express our experience with God. Our weakness in our very capacity to hold that experience, to tolerate such love. We are too weak to hold intimacy with God for more than glimpses and moments of earthly time. His goodness and mercy are so personal they overpower not only the capacity of our words but the capacity of our hearts."
-"The comfort and sustenance of the Spirt can truly be enough if we will let Him in. My problem is less my struggle to sacrifice and obey and more my struggle to receive."
-"Now do you realize just how much I love you?" (Question posed by her mother after Wendy had her first child.) "I also think, perhaps for the first time in my life, I began to understand something of how much God loves us."
October 30, 2020
I loved this book! It was perfect for me at this time in my life. My favorite quote is “People don’t just get happier when they overcome their problems. They overcome their problems when they become happier.”
September 24, 2024
I wish I read this a longggg time ago. Recommend to anyone.
October 30, 2017
I highly recommend reading this book especially if you feel that you will never be able to live the gospel sufficiently enough.
October 4, 2011
A thought provoking book, well grounded in the scriptures (particularly The Book of Mormon), points out that while we often confuse weaknesses as sins, and sins as weaknesses, they are really two different things and call for two different courses of action.
A few of my favorite quotes:
Highly recommended. One of the few books I'm sure I'll read a second and third time.
Also, via footnotes, I became aware of And There Was Light: Autobiography of Jacques Lusseyran Blind Hero of the French Resistance which I've ordered and look forward to reading.
A few of my favorite quotes:
Weakness and sin are very different. Weakness and strength are not.
Sin can take us to hell. Weakness can take us to heaven. ... Weakness is in fact a big part of what we came to mortality to experience.
Sin is a choice. Weakness is a state.
[S]haring our weaknesses generally brings us closer to others than displaying our strengths.
Of all the names ascribed to Christ in holy writ, He is never called the Preventer. ... Our losses, wounds, and broken places are not shameful testimonies to our worthlessness but meeting grounds with Christ.
... Similarly, mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and so on cannot generally just be eliminated at will. ... Our personal righteousness is not a guarantee of immunity to these things, any more than righteousness always spares us from physical illness.
He who in the first estate was thrust down delights in having us put ourselves down.
If we are willing to go when He asks us to go, He will teach us, supplying the gifts we need to complete our mortal assignments. But He is not shocked or dismayed when we need time to learn, to grow from grace to grace.
Highly recommended. One of the few books I'm sure I'll read a second and third time.
Also, via footnotes, I became aware of And There Was Light: Autobiography of Jacques Lusseyran Blind Hero of the French Resistance which I've ordered and look forward to reading.
June 1, 2010
This book at first glance seemed to be another undistinquished self-help book by an unknown lds author. I bought it at someone's suggestion and am excited to say it is one of the most insightful books I have ever read. It is not a defense of weaknesses, as I supposed, but a keenly observed, well documented, and excellently delineated treatise on the topic of weak things being made strong. This book has very real practical application. The author is an lds woman clinical psychologist, but more than that, she knows how to speak from both a gut level and the lofty mountaintop level of improvement. Her writing is susinct, direct and unambiguous. A quote:"Repentance is the antedote of sin; humility is the antedote of weakness" Highly recommended for anyone trying to make real progres in this mortal life.
February 1, 2010
What a refreshing view of our personal weaknesses! Ulrich does a wonderful job explaining the differences between weakness and sin, their consequences, and how they are overcome. She reminds us all that His grace is sufficient for all who are humble and shows how grace is the antidote for weakness. She also provides guidance for finding your personal strengths as you discover your life's mission and the joy that comes from a meaningful life.
If you have ever felt overwhelmed by your weaknesses or struggled to find joy in your life, this book has the helpful answers that bring understanding and ultimately peace.
If you have ever felt overwhelmed by your weaknesses or struggled to find joy in your life, this book has the helpful answers that bring understanding and ultimately peace.
Want to read
May 6, 2013Sorry, not a review yet. I'm still in Ch. 2. I think I understand the difference between weakness and sin as explained but I still have questions... If we are plagued by a particular weakness and take steps to repent of sins we may have committed as a result of this weakness, what happens when because of this weakness you sin again? I mean, you genuinely feel sorry and are willing to do anything for forgiveness. You commit to "sin no more", but say days, weeks, or even years later you succumb to the weakness and sin again? Does that mean you never truly repented to begin with or are you starting over again even though you just committed the same sin you repented of however long ago?
May 15, 2018
Wendy Ulrich is the Brené Brown of the LDS Church. I have Brené’s entire collection and yet—Wendy’s book is by far more powerful, easier to comprehend, and far more applicable. Her doctrine is sound and based on scriptures. Her insights are comforting and reassuring. I appreciate her humble approach exposing her own humanity. The perspective comes from one like a friend who is in the trenches with us—understanding and empathy. I will read this again and again. This message is powerful and desperately needed. Thank you, Wendy!!!
April 4, 2019
This book really helps those of us that are hard on ourselves. This book opened my eyes to a better way of seeing myself. "Sin can lead us to Hell, weakness can take us to Heaven" In our weakness, Christ can take us and mold us into something stronger than we ever would have become without the weakness and with out Him. I highly recommend this book to those who are struggling through weaknesses. (which is all of us.)
February 5, 2010
Ever since I saw the cover of this book, I REALLY, REALLY want to read this book! Find chapter one here:
http://deseretbook.com/item/5021780/W...
It was every bit as good as I expected, and more, but took a long time, because reading non-fiction that requires thinking about every sentence is one of my weaknesses!
http://deseretbook.com/item/5021780/W...
It was every bit as good as I expected, and more, but took a long time, because reading non-fiction that requires thinking about every sentence is one of my weaknesses!
June 24, 2010
A good essay--not really necessary for it to be expanded into a 140 page book. Worth reading for the central concepts.
January 29, 2014
Very thought provoking.
July 1, 2018
I really enjoy this author. There’s so many insightful gems in her books that help me deal with overcoming perfectionism, and all from a gospel perspective (which is important to me). I did like her book Forgiving Ourselves a little better than this one, but this one’s still great - I just really, really liked that other one!
When we think about weakness becoming strong, I usually think of it as all my imperfections going away - but Wendy Ulrich points out that that’s not always how it happens. Perhaps you remain weak and learn that Christ’s grace makes up for all deficits, even while we remain totally and completely imperfect. I hadn’t really thought of it that way! And since weakness is not sin (sin has to do with where your heart is and if you’re turned toward Christ; weakness is just ordinary human mistakes), it’s okay if we keep those weaknesses even as we strive to become clean.
I didn’t take notes on this one, but it’s relatively short and definitely worth looking into.
When we think about weakness becoming strong, I usually think of it as all my imperfections going away - but Wendy Ulrich points out that that’s not always how it happens. Perhaps you remain weak and learn that Christ’s grace makes up for all deficits, even while we remain totally and completely imperfect. I hadn’t really thought of it that way! And since weakness is not sin (sin has to do with where your heart is and if you’re turned toward Christ; weakness is just ordinary human mistakes), it’s okay if we keep those weaknesses even as we strive to become clean.
I didn’t take notes on this one, but it’s relatively short and definitely worth looking into.
February 1, 2017
This amazing book should be required reading for Church leaders and for every person who is beating herself or himself up by confusing sins--which we choose and should repent of--and weaknesses--which are an unavoidable part of mortal life and should lead us to humility and gratitude. The author, an LDS psychologist, elucidates this vital difference that is doctrinally explained in Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon. She helps the reader understand the distinction between sin and weakness, how not to deceive yourself about which one you are dealing with, and the difference between humility on one hand (good, leads us to God) and humiliation and shame on the other (bad, lead us away from God). Examples from her own and others' lives enrich the narrative. This brief book deserves a place on everyone's bookshelf and the concept deserves a place in all our weak and striving hearts.
April 17, 2024
A short book with practical tips and sincere emotional support. I recommend this book to everyone. LDS or not, you might have considered your natural weaknesses to be character flaws. In this book, you can gain insight into how this simply is not so. It is a deeply Christian book which might nevertheless be accessible for all.
When we gain clarity, we gain access to the powers that lie within us. We apply our efforts in the direction that will provide the better- and best- return on investment so to speak. We live more meaningfully and more fully. We gain greater access to the Heavenly Father who awaits us and so wants to pour out blessings upon us.
A good book worth revisiting.
When we gain clarity, we gain access to the powers that lie within us. We apply our efforts in the direction that will provide the better- and best- return on investment so to speak. We live more meaningfully and more fully. We gain greater access to the Heavenly Father who awaits us and so wants to pour out blessings upon us.
A good book worth revisiting.
October 3, 2023
A beautiful look at how we should approach and work on weaknesses. How just because we are weak in one area of life, does not mean we are sinning all day every day. This book does reference the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teachings throughout, but I think everyone who struggles with discerning the difference between sin and weakness should give it a read. Definitely worth it, and I'm very glad I picked it up from the church kitchen lol.
Warnings: none, except for the fact it is a Christian book about weakness and sins
Warnings: none, except for the fact it is a Christian book about weakness and sins
June 26, 2017
As the title indicates this book can be very liberating for readers. When we truly identify and separate our weaknesses from our sins, we realize, we are better than we think we are. We realize that we are humans who are weak in many areas. It is through focusing on our strengths, that we become strong.
This is a great book for youth.
This is a great book for youth.
June 23, 2020
Excellent book for discussion and reflection. Ulrich describes the differences between sin and weakness and discusses how to deal with both. A great analogy: sin:repentance as weakness:humility,. Weakness is neutral; it is how we deal with it that can make it a blessing or a curse. She brought up great points with good real life examples that teach important gospel principles.
July 17, 2020
More Christians need to read this book. Why have I never heard of this book until recently? Wendy Ulrich’s differentiations between weakness and sin is riveting. It gives me hope as I have many weaknesses. Her LDS perspective is relatable to all people of faith. It’s a short read but contains a LOT of useful and applicable information.
If you’re a Christian, you NEED to read this book.
If you’re a Christian, you NEED to read this book.
May 5, 2025
A great book for those having struggling with the difference between sin and weakness. Those struggling with feelings of shame or consumed by their personal weaknesses with no idea how to make them strengths could also benefit from reading this book. It is written from a Latter-day saint point of view, but the principles would benefit anyone.
January 22, 2018
Reading this book was a journey into self-awareness & honesty that took some time for me. Each section deserved - and required - its own "moment" to be fully understood, processed, and absorbed. However, its concepts were enlightening and well worth each and every "moment".
November 16, 2018
When after 10 days you're only on page 82 of a 142 page book, it's time to move on. It's not that I didn't like this book, it just wasn't "speaking" to me. To be fair, we're in the middle of a major home improvement, and I haven't had the time or interest to read.
February 19, 2021
Really enjoyed this one. It gave me an important perspective shift that has changed how I look at my own sins and weaknesses and how I approach them. Like all her books this one is filled with great analogies and stories plus some introspective questions.
July 17, 2021
This book made me think differently about how I categorize sin vs weakness. It will help me think more about my heart and more about relying on the Lord rather than fearing consequences. Wendy is relatable and real.
July 25, 2010
While I won't be as glowing as some other reviewers have been (life and paradigm changing?...really?), nonetheless, I thought this was a very worthwhile book to read and study, and I will keep it in my reference library. At its foundation, this book helps its readers to distinguish between sin and weakness, and clarifies that weakness is not the enemy of progress and growth that I have too often thought it to be. My copy is heavily underlined and annotated; what follows are a few of the standout thoughts and ideas and lessons I drew from it. Of course, these are personal to me and my situation, and yours are likely to be different, though no less meaningful.
1. Sin is a choice to believe Satan over God about what will make us happy, what will produce a certain result, or what will do the most good in the long run.
2. Sometimes strengths, when taken to the extreme, become weaknesses (e.g., workaholism), and that is why I believe that some commandments are adapted to those who are most susceptible to turning them into weaknesses (e.g., the Word of Wisdom).
3. The course of action required of us in the case of weakness is different in important ways from that required in the case of sin.
4. Something common to both, though, is the ability of the atonement of Jesus Christ to heal. Sis. Ulrich quotes Elder Packer: “Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.”
5. Outward criteria are not a good way of distinguishing weakness from sin. The best way has to do with your heart. That section of her book is worth studying carefully.
6. Weakness makes us vulnerable to the sin of pride, but paradoxically, it can also lead to excessive shame, what Ulrich terms “reverse pride.” In its God-given purpose, though, the point of weakness is to teach us humility and charity for others. Indeed, as Ulrich teaches, humility is the antidote for weakness, and ultimately the path to overcoming it.
7. Perhaps because I don��t see myself as being especially ambitious, I deeply appreciated her story about the young man praying about whether to buy a small house within his current means, or the larger and prettier home that his family would eventually want. When he Lord’s answer finally came, it formed as a distinct impression in his mind: “Maybe you should ask someone else. I’m not very ambitious.” He was not chastised, but “God simply, meekly, disqualified himself as a good advisor on an issue that had more to do with the weakness of ambition than a matter of right and wrong.”
8. There is a difference between being “anxiously engaged” versus being frantically engaged one moment, and passive and detached the next. Best to have a steady pace of consistent effort.
9. One does not need to resist temptation forever – just right now. One doesn’t have to practice forever – just right now. And “just right now” can always be endured.
10. “Shame…is not necessary to godly sorrow. Shame can even get in the way of godly sorrow or mature guilt. Shame can include self-disdain, fear of others’ opinions, or feelings of worthlessness. Shame preoccupies us with the opinions of people instead of the opinion of the Lord. But shame can also make us feel embarrassed before God, turning “divine discontent” over our weaknesses into discouragement or humiliation as we imagine His shaking finger.”
11. “We do not become more like God because we lose our capacity to be tempted, but because we strengthen our capacity to ignore temptation, choose truth, and delight in righteousness.”
12. Some of the strengths we most need (and want) will grow out of the seeds of our weaknesses.
13. A useful tool for personal development is to ask oneself: “What do I have to gain from my weaknesses?” Turn the focus from what you stand to lose to what you might gain.
14. She states her belief (and I agree) that “God expects us to do our part, to try, to work hard, and to step up to the plate. But it is also my experience that He is incredibly generous and patient when we are dealing with genuine weakness.”
15. She quotes Elder Maxwell in how to overcome our feelings of inadequacy: “We can make quiet but more honest inventories of our strengths. Most of us are dishonest bookkeepers and need confirming ‘outside auditors.’ He who in the first estate was thrust down delights in having us put ourselves down. Self-contempt is of Satan; there is none of it in heaven. We should, of course, learn from our mistakes, but without forever viewing the instant replays lest these become the game of life itself.”
16. She mentions, and examines, the idea that is becoming increasingly strong in psychology, that to achieve our full measure of happiness, we need to live from our strengths. Then she mentions a modifier her husband uses that I also believe is important: “Live from strengths that strengthen others.”
As I mentioned, this is just a sampling of what I found insightful and powerful in this small volume. It is densely packed with plenty of other useful insights and lessons, and is worth multiple studies.
1. Sin is a choice to believe Satan over God about what will make us happy, what will produce a certain result, or what will do the most good in the long run.
2. Sometimes strengths, when taken to the extreme, become weaknesses (e.g., workaholism), and that is why I believe that some commandments are adapted to those who are most susceptible to turning them into weaknesses (e.g., the Word of Wisdom).
3. The course of action required of us in the case of weakness is different in important ways from that required in the case of sin.
4. Something common to both, though, is the ability of the atonement of Jesus Christ to heal. Sis. Ulrich quotes Elder Packer: “Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.”
5. Outward criteria are not a good way of distinguishing weakness from sin. The best way has to do with your heart. That section of her book is worth studying carefully.
6. Weakness makes us vulnerable to the sin of pride, but paradoxically, it can also lead to excessive shame, what Ulrich terms “reverse pride.” In its God-given purpose, though, the point of weakness is to teach us humility and charity for others. Indeed, as Ulrich teaches, humility is the antidote for weakness, and ultimately the path to overcoming it.
7. Perhaps because I don��t see myself as being especially ambitious, I deeply appreciated her story about the young man praying about whether to buy a small house within his current means, or the larger and prettier home that his family would eventually want. When he Lord’s answer finally came, it formed as a distinct impression in his mind: “Maybe you should ask someone else. I’m not very ambitious.” He was not chastised, but “God simply, meekly, disqualified himself as a good advisor on an issue that had more to do with the weakness of ambition than a matter of right and wrong.”
8. There is a difference between being “anxiously engaged” versus being frantically engaged one moment, and passive and detached the next. Best to have a steady pace of consistent effort.
9. One does not need to resist temptation forever – just right now. One doesn’t have to practice forever – just right now. And “just right now” can always be endured.
10. “Shame…is not necessary to godly sorrow. Shame can even get in the way of godly sorrow or mature guilt. Shame can include self-disdain, fear of others’ opinions, or feelings of worthlessness. Shame preoccupies us with the opinions of people instead of the opinion of the Lord. But shame can also make us feel embarrassed before God, turning “divine discontent” over our weaknesses into discouragement or humiliation as we imagine His shaking finger.”
11. “We do not become more like God because we lose our capacity to be tempted, but because we strengthen our capacity to ignore temptation, choose truth, and delight in righteousness.”
12. Some of the strengths we most need (and want) will grow out of the seeds of our weaknesses.
13. A useful tool for personal development is to ask oneself: “What do I have to gain from my weaknesses?” Turn the focus from what you stand to lose to what you might gain.
14. She states her belief (and I agree) that “God expects us to do our part, to try, to work hard, and to step up to the plate. But it is also my experience that He is incredibly generous and patient when we are dealing with genuine weakness.”
15. She quotes Elder Maxwell in how to overcome our feelings of inadequacy: “We can make quiet but more honest inventories of our strengths. Most of us are dishonest bookkeepers and need confirming ‘outside auditors.’ He who in the first estate was thrust down delights in having us put ourselves down. Self-contempt is of Satan; there is none of it in heaven. We should, of course, learn from our mistakes, but without forever viewing the instant replays lest these become the game of life itself.”
16. She mentions, and examines, the idea that is becoming increasingly strong in psychology, that to achieve our full measure of happiness, we need to live from our strengths. Then she mentions a modifier her husband uses that I also believe is important: “Live from strengths that strengthen others.”
As I mentioned, this is just a sampling of what I found insightful and powerful in this small volume. It is densely packed with plenty of other useful insights and lessons, and is worth multiple studies.
July 29, 2018
Great insights about how to think about our weakness in a useful way. I really like her insights.
January 25, 2019
So good.
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