This will likely be very cute, sweet, swoony reading for many. I, unfortunately, do not fall under the many category.
FMC is feisty in her mind, quirky in a nerdy girl way, a severe over-thinker, curvy girl typ’o chick. Painted to tell the story of the not-model pixie getting the guy in a ‘he could f’ anyone he wants’ world. Her profile is kinda sorta relatable, but that just makes the MMC seem all the more fairytale’ish.
MMC is like the director’s cut version of Prince Charming on Ice. Everything he says, does, thinks, feels is so OTT perfect. A carefully constructed balance of naughty, caveman, gentleman, saint. It’s overload. It’s just not fathomable to be THAT f’ing perfectly dimensional toward the entire spectrum of swoony rainbow female fantasy.
It was the most adorably adorable thing I had ever witnessed.
He’s even good-looking when he sleeps. Can’t he at least pretend to be human and have his mouth wide open, with drool on his chin?
Of course, my mind instantly pictures Jackson’s face when he said he’d remain the perfect gentleman.
His voice also comes across robotic. As I’m reading, I can hear the monotone in my head, and that just doesn’t work for me.
Writing….
The writing is why so many readers hate first person - word vomit. I love first when done well. This wasn’t. This captures every thought in a way-too-wordy way that separates authors from storytellers. It’s so fluffy that it takes pages for one main idea, thought to escape from the character’s rambling. The tone is all “I” will tell you, not let me show you.
It takes 12% to get through a very simple meet and offer to attend a hockey game, which is a pace that feels like snails on sedatives.
The language feels like a 60-year-old woman wrote this…
“Aw, thank you! I’m Katelyn. And I’m thrilled that you’ll be sitting next to me.”
If you’re not otherwise occupied, I would like to have you in the stands tonight at my game.
So, if you’re only interested in a fling, I’d kindly ask that you look elsewhere.”
Please come to our after-game gathering at The Den. It’s a bar not too far from here.
Meanwhile, the scenes themselves feel very immature.
So, yeah, nothing about this formula works for me. Read >20%… no rating.