This is what I shall call my puke review, which is essentially me just barfing my annoyances with this audiobook in completely random order. I don't have the bandwidth to write an actual review. Probably because I'm drunk. Please excuse any misspellings. I listened to the audiobook and have no idea if there are funkily-spelled names and whatnot. Also, I'm drunk. And maybe a little mean. Apologies in advance. Oh. And probably lots of spoilers. Proceed with caution.
I chuckle.
Briar grunts.
Charlie chuckles.
Zephyr shrugs.
Tad chuckles.
Kenzie laughs.
If you like sentence variation in your stories, you won't find much here. The sentences tend toward the choppy and repetitious, subject-verb. Fun fact: "Chuckle" is one of my most hated words in the English language. It was used 78 times in this book, sometimes twice in the same paragraph.
Jules Gagne has the personality of a petulant ladybug. Tad sounds like the goddamn Lucky Charms leprechaun. LeMeck is a mustache-twirling villain. The profuse one-liners meant to be zingers are really just bad cliches.
For the love of Dog, narrators, could you pleassssse sssssssstop with the ssssssssharp sssssssssssssss? You're not only giving me a headache, but you're throwing me out of the story, like, every other word. Also, stop reading books like you're on the goddamn six o'clock news. A little emotion goes a long way, though there was very little of it in this book to convey, so I guess I'll just shut up about that for now.
Lots of telling. Very little showing.
Kenzie - Black girl (and one of the only people of color in the book) who talks like the most annoying Valley Girl who ever vallied gets turned blue. Why didn't anyone else's skin turn a different color? Why couldn't it have been one of the many white people who turned blue? Why am I having this conversation about skin color? I DON'T KNOW BUT IT JUST FEELS ICKY
Asland. I'm sorry, but there was no way I was taking a wise, talking dog seriously. It was so dumb.
What was the point of the twins? They were basically potential hit bait that never got taken, and they reappeared at the end for no reason. Poorly used plot device? Or me not paying attention because I was bored? Only the universe knows.
Speaking of the universe and tangents, I hate stories with multiple types of magical creatures that overlap discrete worlds. Race wars between fantastical groups get old, especially when we see it in real life EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Asland looking buff and hot at the end was just gross.
BOTTOM LINE:
When I read a book, I want to either care about a character or laugh about a character. The lack of emotional connection for me with INCENDIO might've been okay if there had been humor, or if the characters had interesting personalities. No one had a compelling flaw, quirk, or secret to keep my attention or intrigue me. I just couldn't connect with any of the characters or the story. I think the overall story generally made sense, but it just wasn't executed in an interesting way for me.
No clear motivations. Lackluster conflict was mostly external. A series of situations with no emotional glue.
Sorry. I was drunk.