Wild Things: A Trans-Glam-Punk-Rock Love Story

by Lynette Reini-Grandell

A cisgender woman and her trans spouse learn, change, and grow together, navigating the transition, the communities they found, and the hostility they faced.

"The person I married, who I am still married to and remain very much in love with, is now legally named Venus de Mars, and she uses she and her pronouns. But to get to that point was a journey of decades. At the time we didn't know where it would lead—we had no real role models and made it up as we went. Most of this story took place at a time when the kind of knowledge and terminology we now have about being trans didn't exist." —from the Author’s Note

In the 1970s, Lynette Reini fell in love with a fascinating, talented man named Steve Grandell. They married in 1983; five years later, Steve came out to her as transgender. Through the following decades, as her spouse developed a public persona as Venus de Mars and fronted the band All the Pretty Horses, the couple struggled to stay together. They navigated an often hostile, anti-trans environment; fractures grew between them as Venus pushed the band toward success. Against the backdrop of the art, literary, and indie rock worlds of Minneapolis and New York in the 1990s and early 2000s, through hard work and love, they invented a way of being who they truly are.

In Wild Things, Lynette Reini-Grandell shares a deeply personal story of love and growth.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT

336 pages, Hardcover

Published March 14, 2023

Reviews

[J. (Better Off Read) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review to come.

[John Roche · Rating 5 out of 5]

A superbly written account of an amazingly resilient relationship. The author refrains from the sensationalism one might expect in a memoir centered on the marriage between a poet/professor and a trans artist/glam-rock musician. Quite interesting discussions of the emerging 1980s and 1990s Minneapolis literary and music communities, as well as the joys and tribulations of an aspiring rock band gigging NYC, London, Amsterdam, New Zealand, and even Bisbee, Arizona. But the heart of the book is the endurance of high-school sweethearts Lynette and Steve/Venus through the decades, in the face of persistent hostility towards gender nonconformity. Improvising their singular marriage, “With no knowledge. No guideposts. No language. Together and alone.”

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lynette and I have sung together in the Choral Society of our church for two decades. She's a wonderful writer, and the story of her and Venus's relationship is powerful and moving.

[Jules Nyquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are my friends. A love story in a world that doesn’t always love back. A mention of memory when Lynette and I read Berryman’s poems at his gravesite. A weaving of music, marriage, gender and poetry continually evolving. Bravo!

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This unflinching memoir takes us through uncharted territory for transfolks and those who loved them in the days before “LG&B” were joined by “TQ&+,” many years before people would add pronouns to their email signatures and learn how to use the singular “they.” With honesty, grace, and vulnerability, Reini-Grandell shares the challenges and joys of loving someone outside the mainstream—and her own struggle to find her place in her spouse’s world and heart. Some readers may be put off and stop reading because the author uses her spouse’s “dead name” and pre-transition pronouns, but this would be a mistake. Reini-Grandell chooses her language carefully and with her spouse’s blessing to remind us where we’ve been and help us understand where we are. This is a terrific book.

[Jay Gabler · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible document of the Minnesota music and arts scene; a unique memoir by the spouse of a transgender person who openly transitioned in an era when there were few models for doing so; and an honest accounting of the thrills and challenges of dating a rock star. I interviewed the author and her spouse for the Duluth News Tribune.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really beautiful book. It is interesting because I know some of the people in this story, some personally and some peripherally as friends of friends and so on. I live in Duluth and have several friends and family members in Minneapolis. I've seen this story from the outside. It was extremely brave of Lynette and Venus to share this story from the inside. They are truly inspirational people. Highly recommended.

[Cyndy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because it was written by someone from Duluth who also lives in Minneapolis. I went to college in Duluth and now live in the twin cities area. So it was cool to relate to common restaurants, points of interest, etc. It was an interesting journey - I honestly don't know how they managed to stay together. Some of it got a little bogged down by details of shows - those parts I skimmed.

[Berni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wild Things: A Trans-Glam-Punk-Rock Love Story will hook you in the first few pages. This is the triumphant story of a cis and a trans overcoming the odds, not only surviving, but actually thriving in this diverse land of ours. It makes me very happy that this a Minneapolis love story with some NYC and some Duluth thrown in.

[Cashew Lagoon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow can’t believe I read a 300+ page book in a week. I’m not sure if I’ve ever read a memoir before but I loved the pacing of this. It was so cool reading a non-fiction book that takes place in a city I live in since there were so many familiar references. Lynette told her story with such honesty and detail it was really emotional and interesting. Great stuff.

[AF · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotionally moving. I wish we readers got to see years after 2008. Throughout the book, I hoped so much for Lynette and Venus, that they would get through all the pain and complications together, and they did. Thank you for sharing y’all’s intertwined life.

[Hollister · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this after a breakup is... intense