The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation

by James Finley

This is a contemplative reflection on the spirituality of healing, the fruit of the author’s lifetime in conducting spiritual direction and psychotherapy, drawing on his lessons from Thomas Merton and study of the mystical path. It is largely written in the form of a memoir of his own recovery from the traumatic wounds of his early life (abusive father, abuse by his confessor in the monastery, a dysfunctional marriage, and his road to healing and wholeness. But it is not just about his story—it is an invitation to the reader to reflect and resonate with the lessons that apply to their own stories.

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology, Abuse, Religion, Theology

192 pages, Paperback

Published March 16, 2023

Reviews

[Tammy Bhang · Rating 5 out of 5]

soulful hope

My spirit soared, I cried, my heart felt full to bursting with rich hope as I read each chapter. This memoir beautifully outlines a life met and transformed by the best parent (God) through every circumstance of life.

It also underscored the immeasurable value of practicing silence and solitude to better pay attention to the movement of Jesus in our lives. We can so easily miss it.
This was a wonderful read, I would highly recommend.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jim Finley’s gentle invitation into his own spiritual journey has a depth and honesty in it that one doesn’t regularly find in memoirs. Having listened to him on his podcast “Turning to the Mystics” along with his work with Alana Levandoski on her musical projects, I could literally hear him verbally reading and sharing his life story with me.

His story is complex and yet very relatable. Reading about his healing journey and spiritual explorations with Thomas Merton during his time in the monastery was what originally drew me to this book. However, it was the broader life-story and honesty as he worked through his own trauma that drew me deeper into his reflection on life, trauma, and healing.

Thank you, Jim, for sharing your intimate journey of self discovery and healing with us.

[Rick Eckhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

James Finley is most well known as a novice under the well-known monk Thomas Merton at Gethsemane Abbey in Kentucky. Finley remained a monk for 6 years, fleeing after being sexually abused by a senior monk (Merton never knew). The irony is that Finley fled his home to become a monk after escaping a childhood of violent physical abuse from his alcoholic father. This is a deep book, at times difficult to read due to the strong emotions and painful circumstances. How a person can dig themselves out of such a hole of abuse? How does one even know where to go from there? Finley reaches down deep into himself and with the constant calling upon God's grace, and the help of people who cross his path, who seem to be sent by God as mentors and helpers, begins to dig himself out. This book is all about going deep inside oneself and shining a light into those places that one does not want to look. Finley lays out a God centered roadmap for this difficult journey.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw yet gentle memoir of the author’s life, including his severe childhood abuse and later sexual abuse from a priest while he was living in a monastery. Beautiful prose from someone who has done the hard work of deep emotional healing. I resonated with what he described as his tendency to retreat to a dissociative state rather than truly connect with others, and it made me want to change that in myself. And his concept of healing being circular rather than linear made sense to me- we circle back again and again to “cultivate a more merciful understanding of ourselves”. Each time we circle back, our wounded parts become more seen and loved and “can feel safe enough to release the pain they carry.” Really goes along well with the principles of Internal Family Systems theory. Thoughtful and insightful read, especially for those with childhood trauma.

[Lydia Lucca · Rating 2 out of 5]

James Finley has a compelling story full of trauma, abuse, and withdrawal from his pain. Part of his life story involves living at a monastery, studying under Thomas Merton. He learned about contemplative prayer and in this book shares how it has revolutionized his life.

He is self-described as a reclusive Irish Catholic with Buddhist tendencies and talks about the liminal space between wakefulness and prayer that he enters during contemplation.

I gave it two stars because the writing was simple and redundant. His personal story was powerful, but it wasn’t gripping because of the way it was written. It made me think and gave me Catholic permission to widen my spiritual scope, but was overall just okay. (Lent to me by a friend).

[Sadie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy moly James Finley has had a traumatizing life. I’m glad that his spirituality matured as he healed from his trauma. I was wondering if its initial helpful function of giving him an escape wasn’t going to be always helpful. I was definitely drawn in by his story. I wish that I knew more about how his mom and his first wife ended up. I know the point was the healing path from his perspective… but I want to know what happened to these people!

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love James Finley- he’s so thoughtful and insightful. I know I will read this again slower and with more time to meditate and reflect.

[Madeline Bialecki · Rating 5 out of 5]

James Finley's honesty is breathtaking and inspiring.

[Kaleb · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book. I will definitely be reading this several more times.

[Elizabeth Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those hard-to-rank books. Jim's one of my teachers, a wise, compassionate presence I'm infinitely grateful to have known, and his memoir gives readers an opportunity to soak in his loving radiance. On the other hand, this narrative rambles and leaps and at times is hard to follow. Regardless, Jim's story manages to be a testimony to and invitation into God's healing movement through our lives. A worthy read.

[Amy Hetland · Rating 4 out of 5]

James frames this book with sharing about how his wife is dying of dementia. And in this process, he details his life, from his first memory to present day, when his wife breathes her last breath. He had an abusive and alcoholic father, and James found solace in God and his Catholic faith. He managed to escape this abuse only by imagining that it was another child being abused, almost like watching himself being abused, but being separated from the victim.

James also found healing through Thomas Merton's writings, that he happened to find at his Catholic school library. He found solitude with God, a way to cope with the abuse of his father. James decided, against his father's wishes, to join the monastery after graduation, which he did, joining the one that Merton happened to minister at.

The monastery experience at first was idyllic. James experienced the presence of God like never before. He felt the love of God, and his love for God deepened. But then came a sinister element, another abusive relationship. He later escaped this travesty, and tried to resume a "normal" life with marriage and children.

James developed his relationship with God, despite the busyness of life. He decided to go to college for psychology, where he started to experience his own transformation by being vulnerable and humbled to God and others. He was delivered from his old self, which died to a new self. He developed a confidence in God that James would continue in his healing journey through His presence. He was broken, and in his brokenness, he was seen as a child of God, worthy of love.

He decided to divorce his wife, for it was a contentious relationship, full of strife. He found another mate, and married her in his transformed state. He regretted his first marriage, wishing that it never happened. God's love and mercy transformed Jim, as he learned to love himself, as God loves him.

Throughout this tome, James shares spiritual insights that can help the reader in their own transformative journey from pain to healing. I enjoyed reading this little book, and felt a peace at the end, like James did, when his wife died, knowing that God was with them, even in that last moment.

[Sergio Lopez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written and intimate account of overcoming trauma through the healing power of spirituality. The sincerity that comes through the pages and the author’s style of writing makes you feel like you are sitting by a warm fire hearing a beloved friend pour their heart out as they reflect on the most formative experiences of their life. Behind every saint is a story and this memoir allows us to see how wisdom and holiness are born of great struggle. The courage and vulnerability expressed throughout the book can enable us to see how God sustains us through life’s most traumatic moments and how we can all become liberated from the psychological and emotional scars of these painful experiences through the power of forgiveness, repentance, and love. This book is truly a gift that I will cherish for years to come.

[Pablito · Rating 2 out of 5]

I admire Finley's faith; I don't much care for him.

Reading his memoir about surviving traumatic abuse should have had the opposite effect. The solution he proposes to deal with trauma feels platitudinous, though the spirituality sound.

"The surprising thing is that the intimate healing that spirituality brings into our lives is often hidden in the muck and mire of the very things about ourselves we wish were not true," writes Finley. "The secret opening through which we pass into wholeness is hidden in the center of those wounds we are most afraid to approach" (ix).

I've heard that in Alcoholics Anonymous they teach you to never do a 5th Step from the podium.

Now I know why.

[Harry Allagree · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being somewhat acquainted with James Finley from having attended eight of his retreats since 1994, there were still many questions I had for him. He answers a good number of them in this very candid memoir of his tumultuous past, but uses the "Healing Path" as a framework for some vital, valuable and reassuring advice for our spiritual lives. I'm never bored with either his speaking or writing. I never met his late wife, Maureen, but I was saddened to learn of her passing in 2022. Dr. Finley's reflections on this in the book are touching & beautiful.

[Sheryll James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a much too short, beautiful memoir by a Christian mystic who came out of the ashes of a toxic and abusive childhood. He has walked through life healing from his trauma and has helped thousands as a compassionate psychotherapist with his patient and wise spiritual direction.

The book takes you on a short tour of the spiritual hallmarks of his relatable, ordinary, extraordinary life.

To experience the full flavor of James Finley, you can listen to 9 seasons of his podcast, Turning to the Mystics at
https://cac.org/podcast/turning-to-th...

[Rona · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful spiritual memoir which is so full of wisdom, while continuing to be real and almost breathtakingly open. There is so much to take away from encountering Finley at his most vulnerable, and the most profound for me is the invitation 'to understand the spiritual life as the transformative journey of learning how to join God in knowing who God knows and calls us to be'.
Some of us know people who make us feel like we are better when we are with them - what a glorious thought that a relationship with God can give us that gift.
Thank you James, this book is pure gift!

[Memory Mathema · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book triggered a lot of emotions in me. It had me crying uncontrollably at the realisation that most of my healing experiences have indeed taken place through mere cracks of light within my own trauma. Jim is very sincere and true to honouring the humanity of all people especially inclusive of those who have been the source of our suffering. I’m going read it again slowly and use it for lexio practice.

[Mamameeha · Rating 5 out of 5]

James is so amazing!

I have been blessed to have him as a teacher and to have been in his presence. He is the most Christlike person I have ever encountered. His vulnerability in this book makes him ever more so. Thank you for your continued heartfelt sharing of a life that sees love, hope , mercy and forgiveness where many would see none. James spreads peace. Amen. So be it.

[Lindsey H Hulet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profound and poetically written. I first became acquainted with James Finley in the context of the Center for Action and Contemplation’s The Living School. I was intrigued by James Finely’s ability to articulate inner thoughts and feelings, and wanted to know more about his personal journey. I will be coming back to this book often, as I found it applied to my own healing path and lived experience with God’s sustaining presence in the midst of my brokenness.

[Tim Jurgensen]

A deep, poetic, contemplative exploration on the spirituality of healing. Jim, a psychotherapist and former Trappist monk under the esteemed Thomas Merton, beautifully opens up his own life to reveal the healing presence of god (Love) even in the utter pain, fragmentation, and suffering of trauma. This is a hopeful read and memoir on “the path” - especially for anyone looking to reclaim spirituality as a resource in healing their trauma.

[Bob Stains · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a powerful book but not for the faint of heart. The author leads us along his journey of faith which runs side-by-side with his journeys of trauma. This juxtaposition lends legitimacy to Finley's observations about the nature of God's presence and grace and gravitas to his advice for deeper living that's more conscious of God all around, in and through us. If you wrestle with the nature of God and the "problem of evil," this book should be of interest.

[Carol Stevenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love James Finley and the powerful teachings he offers us/me.
In this book he is vulnerable and deeply honest in sharing his human story of brokenness and his trauma as a young person.
To me he is relatable and offers insight into the experiences many of us have but can’t name.
Thank you Jim for The Healing Path.

[Shannon Bradbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

A deep read about a contemplative who becomes a monk under Thomas Merton: I've had this book on my to-read pile for a while now. The author experienced horrific trauma as a young boy and wants to join the monastery partly to get away from his traumatizing home but partly for the love of being a monk. He didn't run away from his trauma like he thought. He only brought it with him and experienced even more trauma from a spiritual teacher.

This book showed me how your trauma goes with you wherever you go. You can't outrun it. You have to deal with it. James Finley dealt with some of his trauma, but then he got married, had kids, and began teaching spiritual retreats.

The book jumps around a lot. One thing I got confused by was near the end of his marriage. It seemed like he dealt with some of his trauma, and then he moved on years later, and he's teaching psychotherapy and met his new wife. I wanted to know how he dealt with his trauma and not end it there.

Eventually, he does circle again, and when he meets his new wife, and they begin a relationship, he realizes the immensity of his trauma and finally begins to deal with it. He goes deep into his heart and relives many painful experiences. After many years of therapy for himself, he begins to love others from a deeper level, and that is truly beautiful!

My favorite part of the book would be how he found healing in nature, and his conversations with Thomas Merton were healing to him as he mentored James Finley.

*trigger warning- Some scenes depict the physical abuse James endured as a little boy, references to homosexuality, physical and sexual abuse, violence, and uses of profanity in his psychotherapy practice. It may trigger some of your trauma.

[Mischa · Rating 3 out of 5]

As always, tough to rate a memoir... I recognize I was probably hoping for something more inspiring like The Contemplative Heart which is my bad for setting expectations going into it. I did appreciate the vulnerability and I actually think it's pretty amazing how the author was able to transcend his trauma and become an inspiration for so many people.

[Alex St · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved learning about James Finley’s spiritual journey and all the twists and turns it took. It makes me see that life is always messy, even for those spiritual teachers I admire so much. I found many parallels between my spiritual journey and Finley’s. And from reading this memoir I hope I can feel God’s love for me a little bit more easily.

[Jay Orr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Classic James Finley

Finley, a Christian, a Catholic, a mystic shares his journey towards understanding God’s love. Finley shares his trauma, brokenness, and his healing. If you are familiar with Finley’s other works or teaching, this is a must read.

[Kaylene Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing

This is a book that spoke deeply to my heart. I will read it again again. It’s message is timeless, profound, and life-changing. Finley is a mystic whose words will resonate through the ages.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many beautiful ways to experience God - as a presence that sustains in all things. This man's capacity for gratefulness in the mists of abuse is astounding.
James Finley offers up at the conclusion of each chapter a beautiful prayer for his readers.

[Joe DeGraaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this deeply personal and beautifully written exploration of trauma, aloneness, and healing. Finley’s narrative examines the interior journey of healing through God’s intimate connection in even the darkest moments of life.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intimate memoir of life with trauma and healing, told with compassion. Finley’s contemplative path, work asa psychotherapist and deep faith in God all shine through. Four and a half stars.