Because I Loved You

by Donnaldson Brown

East Texas, 1972. Sixteen-year-old Leni O’Hare spends her free time drawing and galloping her mare across the chaparral. Horse crazy and rebellious, she fears her dream of becoming an artist will be thwarted by her strict mother, the small-town values of her community, and her family’s meager finances. A desperate bid to save her beloved mare from being sold brings her together with Caleb McGrath, the brainy and gentle scion of the county’s richest rancher, whose dream of becoming a physicist also pushes the bounds of their town and defies his family’s expectations.

When tragedy strikes Leni’s family, and Caleb’s brother returns from Vietnam angry and dangerous, the two grow closer and make a plan to leave and start a life together. Before they can go, though, Leni learns of something she fears will derail Caleb’s hard-earned shot at the future he wants. Choosing to keep what she’s learned secret, she sets them on sudden and separate paths.

New York City, 1986. Leni, now an artist and activist, and Caleb, now engaged and working on Wall Street, meet once again. Their old passion reignites. Can their love for one another overcome the choices made in the past? And when Leni’s secret—one that impacts not only Leni and Caleb but also four generations of Leni’s family—is finally revealed, will it be too late for them?

408 pages, Paperback

Published April 4, 2023

Reviews

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

TITLE: Because I Loved You
AUTHOR: Donnaldson Brown
PUB DATE: 04.04.2023 Now Available

Because I Loved You by Donnaldson Brown is a courageous story of love, family, horses and their healing, grief, loss, and finding your authentic self. I enjoyed following the complex relationship between Leno and Cal, through the decades from small town Texas to big city New York. As I was reading, I kept thinking how amazing this would be as a movie. It was so beautifully written to see the endurance of the one true love and the ties that bind.

I recommend this book to readers who enjoy contemporary women’s fiction and family drama.

I enjoyed this one a lot!

[Booksandcoffeemx · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evocative and compelling!

What a beautifully written and emotional story I can’t beleive this is a debut.
A story about first love, family, ambition and finding yourself. Loved every page.

[Wende Persons]

Donnaldson Brown kept me turning every page, rooting for Leni and Cal. This is a beautifully written love story of horses, family, first love, and place - of finding one’s place in the world. Fewer secrets might have made their journeys easier…

[Chelsie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Following the storyline of two characters starting with their lives as teenagers in the 70's and then through various times in their lives throughout their adulthood. When a terrible tragedy happens that affects both Cal and Lenie, the two react in very different way yet know they need each other to get through this hard time. Lenie having lost her brother and Cal having watched his best friend die both find comfort in the horses they love and the dreams of what the future will bring them. Both knowing they want to leave this town, find themselves making tough decisions that will alter the path of their lives forever. The two lose contact when Lenie makes a decision that leaves Cal questioning their relationship and hurting over his first true love for the rest of his life. But as fate always seems to do, their lives meet again unexpectedly and the two have to decide if opening the wounds of the past is what will give them understanding and what they have both been seeking in life. This was a great novel about the decisions we make and how the appearance of those can often give a misunderstanding until the truth of who and what that was protecting is brought to light. I really enjoyed this story, although many times I wanted to shake Lenie. Thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours for the invite and to the author and publisher for the free novel. This review is of my own opinion and accord.

[Sandie · Rating 5 out of 5]

They met and fell in love in a small town in Texas. Leni is a tomboy, always on her beloved horse, not crazy about school except for art and determined to get out as soon as she can. Caleb is a typical Texas guy who works on his dad's ranch and plays football but there's something else he wants. He wants to go to college and study physics and make his life somewhere else. The two share a love of horses and soon are sure that there is nothing that can end their love.

But fate intervenes. Both have family issues and Leni goes first. She leaves behind nothing but a note but goes out of love for Caleb, knowing that he won't go to college as long as she is in the picture. Caleb can't believe she has gone but it is the spur he needs to go to Princeton where he has a scholarship.

Fourteen years later, both are living in New York. Leni is an artist while Caleb is in finance, working with his college roommate on property development. The two cross paths at a galley opening and suddenly nothing between matters. They get back together but once again, fate steps in and breaks them apart. Will they ever be able to fulfill their love?

This is a gorgeously written novel about young love and enduring love. Although I could have shaken both of them at times, their story is one I won't forget soon. Brown is able to recreate first love in a way that will take readers back to their own first loves and sympathize with the characters. This book is recommended for women's fiction readers.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You’ve got to learn to let go of the things you love, her father told her, “Or you’ll never get to where you want to go.”

Leni’s mother understood loss; she had seen what WWII did to her family and home in France. She understood the life-long hurt that came with loss. Leni had the courage to do the unthinkable, give up everything she loved so that dreams could be followed and found. Hers, and Cal’s, dreams.

Cal’s brilliant mind won a scholarship to Princeton. His father had built a business and wealth and expected his sons to inherit and run the business. Eldest son Hank returned from Viet Nam a broken man, and their father counted on Cal to be the heir.

Leni was headstrong with a natural artistic gift. She and Cal bonded over their beloved horses, and their teenage love grew. Leni didn’t want to prevent Cal from following his dreams, and made hard decisions. Years later, in mid-life, they meet again in New York City. They confront their past and explore a future. Leni reveals what she has hidden from Cal, changing both their lives.

The description of West Texas is beautifully drawn. And horse lovers will adore this story. As will anyone who loves a story of young love and romance, heartbreak and loss. Leni is a strong character who makes hard decisions for herself and Cal, which allow them the freedom to grow, flourish or fail.

I received a free egalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

[2manybooks2littletime · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to my partner, Suzy Approved Book Tours, and the author. I appreciate the gifted paperback and I am leaving this review voluntarily!

1. 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒔 - There truly isn’t reasoning through some losses. They just don’t make sense. I think that adults have an easier time, but we see the pain and anguish of the teenagers trying to grapple with an explainable tragedy and it continues throughout Leni’s life.

2. 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑨𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒔 - Leni and Caleb don’t have much in terms of these. Neither are close with their parents (except Caleb’s mom somewhat). Caleb does have his math teacher who helps him and Leni finds a set of “substitute” parents, if you will, who help her through some of her darkest days. And really, Hank Jr does give Leni (and later in life, Cal) help when needed, too.

3. 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 - Man did I love this story…and yet, so many things made me so mad. I just wanted the twists and turns to go certain ways and none of them really ever did. I just feel so much sadness.

4. 𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝑻𝒐𝒐 𝑳𝒂𝒕𝒆 - Why do we wait until it’s too late to mend the fences and spend the time with loved ones. Take the chance during life and health and maybe, just maybe, happiness will abound.

5. 𝑫𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 - Teenagers should not feel forced to make rash decisions, but Leni has to make one that forever changes the landscape of her and Caleb’s lives. It comes around later in life, but I’d sure like to see what their parallel life would have been with a different decision.

[Linda Zagon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donnaldson Brown, the author of “Because I Loved You,” has written a heartfelt, emotional, memorable, and thought-provoking novel. The timeline for this story is set in the author’s present and goes to the past regarding the characters or events. The war in Vietnam is discussed. The story's setting starts in Texas, Ohio, New York, and other areas in the United States and France.

The author describes her dramatic characters as complex, complicated, and flawed. I love how the author vividly describes the horses, their personalities, and other animals. When Leni O’Hare is sixteen, she rides her horse Foggy and meets Caleb McGrath. Leni has rescued and treated Caleb’s injured horse. Both Leni and Caleb come from dysfunctional families and have so many dreams. The two plan to be together forever.

Difficult circumstances, lack of communication, and secrets keep the two young lovers from following their dreams. Both have a deep love of animals, and Leni is very artistic. Caleb is excellent in Math. Both Leni and Caleb follow their paths. I love Donnaldson Brown‘s writing style and the twists, turns, and suspense.

As the secrets unravel and time passes, will forgiveness and understanding be possible? I highly recommend this fantastic story, and I hope to read other books from this author.

[Reeca Elliott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leni is a head strong, young lady from a strict home. Caleb is a brainiac from a very wealthy ranch. These two team up to help Leni save her mare from being sold. Caleb and Leni have a connection and it just gets stronger and stronger until life eventually breaks them apart.

I will be honest, I enjoyed this story more than I expected. I almost turned this down. I am not a big fan of coming of age stories and I was totally afraid some animal would get hurt. But, that didn’t happen (sorry if that is a spoiler!) and I fell so hard for these characters.

Leni is a force to be reckoned with. She beats to her own drum, she is more than a little stubborn and she has a huge heart! This is why she and Caleb eventually break apart…Leni’s love! Caleb is smart as a whip and he loves Leni beyond a shadow of a doubt!

When these two reconnect in NYC after years apart, the sparks again fly but will they overcome their past…you will have to read this to find out…and I recommend that you read this ASAP!

Need a wonderful coming of age love story…THIS IS IT! Grab your copy today!

I received this novel from the author for a honest review.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 and 3.5 stars.

"This is not a romance, but a love story." I don't know where I read or hear the phrase, but it was the phrase that replayed in my head while reading this book.

A promising debut. I was engaged and invested in the love story and the characters, Leni and Cal, who were meant to love each other, but separated and later meets again as if they were two opposing magnets poles, who cannot be kept apart. There is beauty and happiness, but also pain and sadness which I was prepared for but still wind up crying at the end.

I was drawn towards the book's overtly, in your face title and the serenity of the cover. But it was the sense of mood, quiet beauty and melancholy, and the character study, especially that of Leni, that cliched the deal. However, I think the author's decision in regards to Foy's fate didn't make sense and the reason why Leni and Cal separated felt weak.

[David Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sweeping tale of love and life. The things we do for love and the things life throws at you along the way.
Leni and Cal are two star crossed lovers who love horses and yearn to get out of their small Texas town. They have a plan and are working on it. Then something happens that will shape the rest of their lives. Encompassing fifty years and traversing multiple locations, this emotional, heartfelt story grabs your heartstrings and plays them perfectly as you strum along reading their story.

I loved this one! The author has drawn such dynamic, compelling and real characters that you can't help but to get invested in them. The settings are colorful, picturesque and tangible. The writing is informed and masterful. I felt a wide array of emotions while reading this one. From the highs of first love to the lows of love lost and everything in between. I'm a little wrung out but I can't recommend this one highly enough.

Thank you to the author, She Writes Press and Suzy Approved Book Tours for the gifted copy and including me on this tour.

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This debut novel is beautiful. Sure, I cried, but the characters became so real to me and their choices made also had that same real to life feeling.

This book is set in three main time periods: the early 1970s in Texas, 1986 and 2016 both in New York.
It’s told mainly in the two points of view of Leni and Cal.

What starts as two teens, their love for their horses, and their desperate wish to leave their small Texas town becomes 40 years of tragedies, secrets, and connections made.

I don’t want to give too much of this story away because it is worth your reading time.

I would LOVE to have other books written about this family especially Cal’s brother, Hank, and Leni’s sister, Marguerite.

[Miss W Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because I Loved You by Donnaldson Brown is a beautiful, emotional novel.

I enjoyed the dual timelines and multiple locations.

I loved Leni and Caleb. The characters were complex and well fleshed out.
I absolutely loved the description of the horses, they played such an important role in the story.

I am a huge animal lover, and this book was so beautifully written.
Leni is very artistic, and I love this part of her personality.

There is such a surprising element of mystery and suspense that I absolutely loved.

This is such a well written debut novel. I look forward to reading more of this author's books.

[Debra Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a horse lover, I was immediately drawn to the cover and swept up in the opening chapters about a young girl desperate to save her beloved horse. But this novel is so much more than another wonderful horse novel. It’s about complex family dynamics, the lifelong devastation of great loss, the triumph and tragedy of true love with its misunderstandings and misconnections, and most importantly, this is a story of a woman’s struggle to follow her passion on her journey to wholeness. Beautifully written, with fully realized characters, Because I Loved You is an impressive debut novel by a writer to watch.

[Joshua R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me from it’s thrilling opening set piece of teenage horse-lovers out in a violent storm. As the months and then years and decades pass in the lives of Cal and Leni, Because I Love You became a when-can-I-get-back-to-my-book-? experience for me. In it’s final pages, I found myself thinking deeply about unfinished business in my own life. From a lonely Texas town in the 1970s to Manhattan in the revved up, tragic ‘80s, to the seemingly sedate Hudson Valley in the teens of this century, the lives of our star-crossed lovers mattered to me a lot.

[Adeleke Inioluwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an engaging and thought provoking read that captures attention from the very first page. The author does a wonderful job of weaving together interesting ideas, relatable characters, and a strong sense of purpose. The writing is clear, the pacing is smooth, and the themes are meaningful, leaving readers with plenty to reflect on.

Whether you’re reading for entertainment, inspiration, or knowledge, this book offers something valuable. It’s well crafted and enjoyable, making it a great addition to any reader’s collection.

[G.P. Gottlieb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because I Loved You spans the lives of Caleb McGrath and Leni O’Hare from the time they meet on the East Texas plains, to the invisible rope that draws them close, to the decisions that prevented them from being together. This is a beautiful, big-hearted novel about two people whose lives keep spiraling away from each other.

I was honored to interview Donnaldson Brown for a New Books Network podcast: https://newbooksnetwork.com/because-i...

[Lisa Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a beautifully written, emotional love story of family, horses, and the love of a man and a woman that spans many years. The settings are so descriptive that I felt like I was there and the heart that went into writing this novel is clear. It felt epic in the range of emotions that I went through and is just an incredible book.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A stellar debut that takes you from the rugged horse country of Texas to the New York skyline. A story of first love that is torn apart by loss, ambitions, and a secret left untold.
Both the settings and the characters come to life on the page, and by the end of this emotional story, I was a bit of a mess. A rich and intimate look at a heartbreaking love story over a lifetime.


Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktours and @donnaldson for a spot on tour and a gifted book.

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

At 391 pages, this book will keep you entertained for awhile and you won’t want to put it down. It is the story of two teenagers who love horses and follows their lives over decades. This is also a debut novel which makes it all that much better for me. I love discovering new authors and this author writes beautifully. You can relate to the main characters, Leni and Caleb from the beginning. If you enjoy a heart touching story about love, relationships, and friends, this book is for you.

[Christy Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an emotional read for me. I became invested in the characters (human and equestrian) almost immediately. My heart broke so many times in this book but I loved it and could not turn the pages quickly enough. The story is absolutely beautiful and the feelings are really big. This is a book that shouldn’t be missed for so many reasons.

[Kim Wilch · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this remarkable debut, follow Caleb and Leni as they meet as teenagers and their love of horses draws them together. Spanning decades, their decisions prevent them from being together. Beautifully written, the story will touch your heart as love and friendship take center stage. Highly relatable and recommended.

[Marilyn Goncalves · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a sucker for a good emotional family drama and if you’re into them then this one is right up your alley. So basically this has a little bit of everything that’s beautifully weaved in through out the story. From complicated and tangled relationships to second chances to loss and grief and discovering who you are through decades and of course horses.

[Mandi Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this book down. Leni and Caleb’s story feels so real, the kind of love shaped by timing, sacrifice, and choices that don’t stop echoing years later. The shift from small-town Texas to New York was beautifully done, and the secret at the heart of the story broke my heart. Emotional, thoughtful, and unforgettable.

[Susan Wands · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two young people growing up in Texas in the '70s and then meeting again in NYC in the '80s hits all the right notes of social change and romance. Young people with a love of horses, activists, and Wall Street traders make for a fascinating read.

[Dawnny · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story of second chances and following your dreams. Both Leni and Caleb dream of more than their small town has to offer. Leni longs to be an artist and Caleb dreams of being a physicist. This was an emotional and heartfelt story of family, war and secrets. I really enjoyed this.

Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY

[Angelina Fay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking and heart mending, all at once. What Donnaldson Brown achieves in these pages is deeply moving, beautiful and tragic as first love, and grippingly real. Her complex characters are deep and flawed and yet perfect. If I could give this more stars I would. In my forever canon.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the story very much. The character development was excellent and the complex relationships and growth of each were very relatable. Not the traditional “happy ending” but a bittersweet one. I look forward to reading future books from this author.

[Linda Ulleseit · Rating 5 out of 5]

You had me at horses and artist! Great love story.

[Patricia Leavy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always enjoy a good love story with some depth.