I do not particularly recommend this book, but I do recommend the topic of conversation, and if this is the only source, so be it.
This book gives historical context to our current-day obsession with being normal, and emphasizes how even just the idea of normal emerged in the past 200 years, once population surveys and statistics took off. The most valuable insight of the book is that when you think about it, the very concept of "normal" doesn't make much sense, and more often than not, has been (and is) taken to mean "socially desirable" instead. A very telling example of this is social attitudes towards homosexuality; until quite recently this was considered pathological, but now it is mostly accepted as normal. Overall the book is a collection of all the ways society has chosen to torture its members by setting standards, typically white middle/upper class ones, and expecting everyone to fall in line. Honestly, it gets quite depressing.
The mental shift that this book provides is an important one; questioning what "normal" is, and even the need to obtain it can be really freeing. Furthermore, the book really drives home the default-white problem which is still pervasive. However, I don't think the author provides particularly insightful commentary beyond just laying out the problem and providing historical background.
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My problems with the book were:
- The author does not properly address the distinction between societal ideals and actual "normality". Understandably all of society has been confusing the two, but when trying to uncover the reasons why one or the other exists, or solutions to either, you need to know which one you're talking about! Society may want for people to have a certain look or body weight, and clinical health may recommend yet another goal for BMI, but that can all be different from what the entire population actually looks like.
- The author doesn't address the distinction between normal as in the actual average of the whole population, and normal as in common enough as to be unremarkable. Being left-handed is not actually that common, but its "normal" in the sense that it is nothing to worry about and billions of people are similar. More generally, when people are really worried about whether they are normal or not, they are just asking if something they have or do is something to be concerned about, and not wanting to stand out too much. Somehow, this never came up in the book.
- The way information is used is not scientific. The author will pick anecdotes and historical facts that tell the story she wants to tell, resulting in a potentially one-sided or misleading picture. For example, the overarching story tends to be that white Anglo-Saxon culture has set the beauty standards and the norms to match their own image; so beautiful is white. The author then brings up the use of whiting creams in certain Asian populations. But you could just as easily point out that now white beauty standards aim for tanned skin, and white women everywhere are getting skin cancer lying in tanning beds. Clearly, beauty standards are only somewhat related to what the dominating culture actually looks like. Much more nuanced is the fact that beauty standards change with time because they reflect the well-being and social status of the individual; fat women were once the ideal because only wealthy women could get fat. Before, pale skin meant not having to work in the sun, and now spending time in the sun means not having to work. Now, divas and celebrities are all sporting really long nails, which anyone with a manual job or even white collar job can't afford to have. I digress, but basically a lot of phenomena the author brings up rather reflect some other aspect of society than just an obsession with normal, but she bends the facts to fit her narrative.
- History ends 200 years ago. The author provides no further insight into how prior centuries handled “normal”, as if assuming that because this term was not used, the societal push to conform wasn’t there. I think a much more interesting book would have talked about what normal meant in the past, or if the interest was rather on societal control of behavior, then how much the church and other institutions set expectations.