Chinese title: 哈密瓜的滋味 下
This one has 神率 of 73% on Chil-Chil.
5⭐️
Etsuko sensei wrote at the end of the book:
After being ill, it’s not possible to keep up the “positive” side at the most painful time.
The period of being “negative” is the time waiting for the sickness to slowly recover.
Maybe life also needs some time like that.
The seme prepared popcorns and coke and had a movie night with the uke to cheer him up after breaking up with the ex-bf. The seme told the uke that he cannot rent an apartment because he doesn’t have a stable job and the landlords are not satisfied with his proof of cashflow. Although the uke wanted to ask him to stay forever, he feels that seme has not fully opened up to him yet.
When the seme can’t write lyrics anymore he would copy down ingredients and nutrition values of food packaging. One rainy night the seme was suffering from emotional discomfort so he went over to a female friend’s home to chat, he didn’t come back until the next morning and the uke was pissed. The seme apologized to the uke by scrubbing his back in the shower, and the two made out…
The next morning seme asked uke to teach him sex between men, also he started to smoke again. The two guys are getting more and more intimate, because the seme is so gentle the uke’s able to accept him, unlike with the ex-bf. The guys are getting used to being with each other, but the uke is not sure about if seme likes him or just likes human warmth.
The uke’s parents are getting divorced and will be splitting their belongings. Although the mom owns the company, the dad owns the office building and will want to rent out the top floor. The seme agreed to sign a lease and continue living here, but the uke wanted to move out and be independent.
The uke found the parcel from seme’s ex-gf containing medicines for depression. That girl is a nurse and she referred seme to see doctor because he’s been depressed for years, in the end she broke up with him because she couldn’t handle his conditions. The seme hasn’t been taking the medicines to help him sleep or feel better.
The two guys went on a short trip together on Shinkansen, the seme went off to the platform to buy tea from vending machine and he couldn’t come back onto the train because he can’t stand crowded places. The uke waited a long time for the seme at the final stop, and confronted him about his sickness, the seme broke down and cried.
The seme opened up to the uke during this hot spring trip, they just stayed in the hotel room, cuddled and chatted. The seme’s symptoms vary depending on the day, can’t go to crowded places, can’t pick up the phone, get sad for no reason, can’t get out of bed, can’t focus his attention, dislike reading/watching emotional stuff… The seme picked uke to live with because he doesn’t know his past and illness.
Another band mate 奧田賢 is trying to organize some gigs and wants to invite the seme to play again as it’s something happy to do. Before the uke moved out, the seme said he previously wanted to die because something’s missing from his heart and everything looks grey. The uke saved seme just by being by his side, not purposely trying to cheer him up.
They’ve never really defined their relationship, but it’s obvious that they are special to each other. The seme doesn’t dislike anything about the uke, and the uke likes seme’s caring personality. The seme dreamt that he’s uke’s kid and wished it can come true in the next life. Things starts to get better after the two guys are living separately, they still think that having each other in their lives is enough.
In the epilogue, the pair is now living abroad (maybe USA or Canada). On the uke’s birthday, they ate at a Chinese restaurant for lunch, and cooking Japanese for dinner with the landlord’s family. The seme asked uke to become a family too and proposed to him. They plan to stay together forever, eventually adopt a kid and a dog.