The last thing I expected to start our darling new year, 2025, with was a book so bad it rivals the worst traditionally published novel I have ever subjected myself to in my entire life of reading, Sanctuary of the Shadow, but then I finished the The Last One and now I debate why I continue subjecting myself to Red Tower (RT) garbage in the first place. Sure, I might've started my goal of reading every RT book published to prove that RT cares more about a book's physical aesthetic then its interior quality (and appeals to people who feel the same), but I now wonder why I continue. I proved my point: RT books are... well... garbage. Plain and simple. I wish I had a witty, bird-brained way to put it, but up until now, I have yet to find a book published by the imprint that I rated higher than three feathers out of five.
And that is not from a lack of trying. Believe me, I have looked for every possible way to give these books credit where it is due, but thanks to flimsy narratives, dull writing, inorganically injected tropes, and flat characters, I am at a loss. But enough of my pessimistic croaking; let us begin.
The Review
It is my intention to provide you, my dearest of readers, with a well-structured review to adequately express how horrible an experience reading this book was. However, since I suffered such significant brain damage from it, I wonder if my usual... charm as I should put it will be able to shine through in my writing this time 'round. Heh, if I can spell correctly about 75% of the time, then I shall consider that a win (and I hope you do too). With that said, allow me to be positive for as long as possible and give an, albeit short, list of the—
Good
I cannot even believe I am putting a "good" section in this review, but since I already typed it (out of habit, I suppose) and I do not wish to prematurely damage my backspace button, I will put what is probably the best thing about this book:
IT ENDED
Oh yes, such a magical moment for my sanity. And if you, too, wish to experience said brilliant portion of such a tasteful masterpiece, then follow this hack: open the book, flip to page 424, stare at the blank space below the last line, and close the book. Stupendous!
The Rest (A.K.A The Bad)
With how unbelievably bad this book was, I honestly should have just titled the entire review, "the bad" as it would still apply. It is just mind-boggling to me that something like this could ever be traditionally published in the first place, yet here I perch, beak rapidly moving across my worn keyboard, prepared to explain to you why this book failed on so many levels...
1. Juvenile writing style. Arguably one of the most obvious issues this book had was how childish it read. And while I do not expect every book to have what some might call "high-brow" complex prose, I do at least, expect the adult book I am reading to not sound more like YA than YA books do. "But Valerian, writing style is in the eye of the beholder, it's just your opinion that it is juvenile, stop being overly critical!" Ah, is that so? Well, dear reader, if the previous statement was something you, yourself, were thinking, then allow me to present you with some examples of the "subjectively" bad writing style and allow you to formulate your own decision:
a) "All weary and worried, and above all, all sass and ass." (25)
b) "'Your rod's getting hard.'" (63)
c) "'Suprise,' I say, smiling. 'I'm that bitch.'" (remember that this line on page 159 is in a fantasy novel and then you'll see why it is an issue)
d)"'I feel like we came from the same cabbage patch or something.'" (Said on page 70 as a sort-of love confession from the MMC to the FMC. It was obviously very romantic.)
e)"'What?' I ask, sipping, relaxing loose as a goose." (250)
f)"Just a bird in a tree in the wild because ravens and owls and other fowls live in the wild." (284)
g) "'Gout? I'd like to think I'm more like... chronic heartburn. That's sexier than gout." (308)
h) "'I'll bring you back as something cool, like a cow...'" (310)
i) "He gags until he's the color of turnips. I'm striving for eggplant." (399)
Note: I only included context for letters c and d because it makes the lines even worse than they appear. I did not include context for the others because even with context, they still make no sense and are written terribly.
2. World building is lackluster Now this bit might be a controversial portion as there is much debate on how much focus there should be placed on worldbuilding in romantasies over fantasies. However, being that the dust jacket has the words, "explosive and enthralling romantasy debut" written on it, I find that I do not feel all that bad about commenting on false advertising, so... I will. Now, there was very little focus put on the world in this book, which might lead one to think the focus was placed on the romance side of romantasy. Well, if you thought that, then you would be wrong, as that was virtually nonexistent too. I am of the belief that the author thought she did some worldbuilding but, to me, a rotting forest and a creature called a "battawhale" is not exactly shaping any sort of definitive sense of place. The names of things were ridiculous (born-day instead of birthday, life-beat instead of heartbeat, nightstar instead of moon, daystar instead of sun, etc.) and the towns/cities they found themselves in were vague and nondescript, not adequately placing the reader in anything unique or fascinating, making their minds drift to visions of dancing rats wearing high-heels to entertain themselves instead of yet another village square with a cart of potatoes or whatever the flock they ate in this book.
3. The dialogue was grating. If the examples I provided you in reason #1 were not enough to convince you that the dialogue in the book was less engaging than watching an owl toss up a pellet, then perhaps you require the knowledge that pages, 63, 94, 95, 210, 215, and 342 were nearly entirely dedicated (or at least some minor emphasis was put on) very bad and utterly unfunny innuendo. Now, being that I, myself, act more like a fledgling than the adult bird that I am, I can find humor in innuendos. However, when nearly any bit of character-defining dialogue between the FMC and MMC is just jokes about "sword" length and literal nut jokes, I find myself aging into a featherless elder telling fledglings to stop using all this new-fangled technology with how funny the "jokes" are. They are completely out of place in a fantasy book and add absolutely nothing to the story and character-building overall. The book would be so much better without them.
4. Unnecessary SA backstory for a female character. I am starting to think I should put such a thing in my RT repetitiveness checklist with how many RT books have it. I truly cannot understand why so many authors feel the need to put this in their books when they are unwilling to show how that character works through her trauma in favor of using it as a plot device to motivate the MC into action. Just like always, Philia's past with her father's drunken friends is only given as a one-off for Kai to be angry and feel bad for her. She gets no real definition of her own, showing me that the author only stuck it in for shock value and nothing else. If an author is so unwilling to do the work in breaking down such a sensitive topic, then I beg them with every bone in my body to not use it. It adds nothing and is such a lazy way to bring tension into a story.
5. Plot convenience galore. While not exactly a new issue for RT, since it hiders any and all convincing storytelling the author was attempting to accomplish, I find it is important to mention it. All too often there were scenes/events that the author wanted to occur, but since she was not creative enough to find an organic way for them to happen, she used assorted conveniences to make them happen, and it showed. For example, on page 113, just as a cursufly is about to kill Milo the dog, Kai randomly gets the ability to control wind and blasts the creature off course and into a burning shop. This happens as needed because the author did not have any other way to get out of the hole she dug. And while this is hardly the most damning case of plot convenience, it is one of many examples found throughout the book. And while I would love to include more, being that I have so much more to say and do not wish to get character limited, I will simply leave you with the page numbers I found upon my first read-through of this book that include examples I encourage you to reread for yourself: 72, 242, 254, and 288 (this is an especially ridiculous example as, somehow, the soldiers did not see three trees randomly growing out of the ground directly in front of them).
The "Romance"
As I mentioned before, the romance side of this romantasy was just as bad, if not worse, than the worldbuilding. It added nothing to the story, and left me scratching my head wondering at what point I was supposed to have even started shipping them in the first place. It was more insta-lovey than a Disney movie, and had just as much depth as a paper plate. The MMC, Jadon, told Kai he felt like they came from the same cabbage patch, and had internal monologues about how lovely her backside was. They had RT's singular obligatory sex scene that, once again, added nothing to the story, only for the sweet, sweet love made there to be squandered when one of my least favorite tropes on earth, the miscommunication trope, reared its ugly head and shattered any possibility of a relationship between them. I think the author wanted me to be impacted by this, but since I did not exactly catch why they were in love in the first place, I did not care either way.
Characters
Kai
This RT classic's version of the "badass FMC." Does she live up to such a title? Eh. She was certainly not the worst RT FMC I have had to deal with, but she was not exactly a character I will ever reflect upon fondly. She had more struggle than most FMC women, but still had a good number of events ended in her favor where they should not have been. Though, I can give her credit for actually being violent when she is advertised as such. All too often these FMCs are told in exposition to be violent and heartless yet only kill "ugly" men that have probably SA'd someone at some point. She just killed whoever she felt like. Props to her in that regard.
Jadon
To put it crudely, this guy sucks. He has zero personality and is exactly what I imagine moldy bread to be like in human form. Probably one of the least interesting love interests in RT's lineup thus far. And that's saying something considering Hades from The Games Gods Play is an option. In a "shocking" twist, he was the lost prince of the kingdom. Who cares.
Olivia
Despite the fact that I did not finish this book that long ago, I can honestly remember nothing of this character, so that should tell you enough. She is a thief and a liar, and not in a charming way. She is in a wlw relationship with Philia which is nice, but since being a lesbian is not a personality trait, that isn't necessarily anything to help her case.
Philia
She is also uninteresting. She is Olivia's love interest and nothing else. Well, I suppose that is not necessarily true. She is also used as a plot device when the author gets bored and has nothing else to throw into this waste of paper and ink.
Veril
This is your cliche wise old mentor character. He predictably dies and says the word dearest more than anyone on the planet ever has. I did not mourn him. After all, it was one less character for me to roll my eyes at.
Misc. Things that Annoyed Me
1. The thickness of a dragon's talon being used as a unit of measurement on page 316 despite it never being established how large dragons are
2. The sheer number of paragraphs full of questions the FMC was asking herself because the author thinks her audience is stupid and cannot ask questions on their own
3. Random girl hate (339)
4. The stupid banter between the characters (excellent example on page 310)
5. Jadon being a prince
6. The antagonist women, Elyn, literally anytime she showed up on page because she was a giant mustache-twirling villain
7. Kai's dagger being named Little Lava because she "brings the heat" (212)
Red Tower repetitiveness checklist (those that appeared in bold):
*Ambiguously tan love interest
*Small FMC
*Overpowered FMC
*Edgy love interest that is at home in the darkness
*Heavy-handed messaging
*Oral scene before missionary scene
*MMC that is considered hot for the bare minimum, i.e., basic feminist takes/actions
*Harassment against FMC by a man that is thwarted by MMC
*Repetitive descriptions about how large the love interest is (in all meanings of the word)
*The best sex to have ever sexed
*FMC uses/loves strictly daggers to defend herself
*Inorganically injected tropes
*MMC with muscles on top of muscles
*Supposedly. Impactful. Phrases. Interrupted. With. Periods
Total score on the Red Tower repetitiveness scale: 8/14
Not the worst score for the RT repetitiveness scale, which is surprising. I saw on Amazon that there is a slot for a sequel for this book called The Cruel Dawn set to be released on Tuesday, August 19 which I hope is untrue, but being that I have horrid luck, I bet it will be. So, stay tuned for such a riveting piece of literature to be released, I know I will be. There will probably be a review for that from yours truly as I cannot help but force myself to read sequels to books I hate. And who knows? Perhaps it will be an improvement. For my sanity, I certainly hope so.
Until next time, dearest readers,
-V.W.
P.S. do not forget to bring the heat