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224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
In New York, Matt was possible. His soul had some gritty grandeur of the city itself; like a nomad, restlessly seeking, he roamed the midtown plains with all the knowingness of an animal that has found its natural grazing spot. The beauty of Matt's life was defined by taxis, expense accounts, even his dingy little flat on East Fifty-second Street.
For a moment, Clara could not speak. Her hands trembled. It was not the room itself that frightened her so much as coming upon it suddenly and without preparation; it was like falling out of the clear sunlight into utter forlornness. It bit into her, chilled her; the bleakness and the dismal quiet seemed to challenge reality -- life itself. Clara considered the "real" Henry the man with the anecdotes, the light irony, the possible talents, and everything in her fought against the horrible chill of the room, the drawn blinds, the old newspapers, the unpolished silver cup, the silent violin.
Clara made a great effort to give up her study of Henry, but she could not achieve this desired incuriosity. The confounding facts of his temperament, with his absolute self fixed and bound to its weaknesses in a way that was somehow majestic, were not to be fully grasped.
Gradually, she was moving along with Henry into a world of strange distinctions, sudden ironies, and unexpected preferences; she found humor where she had found none before, and sighed with ennui where she had precisely been fascinated. All her senses seemed alarted, and she felt in herself that exhilarating but dangerous clarity climbers experience at the top of a mountain.
It is awful to be faced each day with love that is neither too great nor too small, genrosity that does not demand payment in blood; there are no rules for responding, to schemes that explain what this is about, and so each smile is a challenge, each friendly gesture an intellectual crisis. [from "Evenings at Home"]