I Raise My Eyes to Say Yes

by Ruth Sienkiewicz-Mercer, Steven B. Kaplan

Ruth Sienkiewicz-Mercer was born in 1950. She has never spoken a word; never walked, never fed herself, never combed her own hair. Trapped in a body that is functionally useless, her mind works perfectly. This is her story. Absorbing and heartbreaking, it was written with the collaboration of Ruth's friend, Steven Kaplan. Without any self pity Ruth recounts her early childhood with a loving family and some happy years at a rehabilitation center, then virtual incarceration at the notorious Belchertown State School in Massachusetts. After 16 years she was released and now she enjoys a life of purpose and personal triumph. I Raise My Eyes to Say Yes will permanently alter your perception of the severely disabled and it will inspire you with the extraordinary power of love, thought, and the human spirit.

Genres: Nonfiction, Disability, Memoir

233 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

Reviews

[Marjorie McGuire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered this book after it was cited in the 2019 book Forget They Were Ever Born: A Memoir, and I found it to be the perfect companion read.

When in college in the early 70s I went on a field trip to the Lincoln State School in Lincoln, Illinois as part of my special education teacher ed. program, leading up to my career as a special ed. teacher. If I hadn’t seen some of the actual practices Ruth speaks of in this book, I might find some things to be unbelievable. They most certainly are unforgivable.

There are YouTube videos about the Belchertown State School which are worth watching.

I highly recommend this book.

[Harold Zeckel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got to see what it is really like to live life with a terribly severe disability, namely to be capable of only very limited movement and to be incapable of speaking. Many people treated her like an imbecile. She had to keep striving and to be extremely patient with what life had dealt her. She had to deal emotionally with the frustrations which were mountainous. Many thought of her and treated her like she was just a mindless bag of bones. She had to search for those who recognized her as a person and not just a lump that had to be kept alive by being fed and cleaned. It was a painful existence, but somehow she kept up hope and avoided giving up and managed to make a decent life for herself. The book taught me a most valuable lesson on finding meaning in life, no matter what the circumstances.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is truly inspiring. Working with preschoolers with a variety of special needs a lot of times you wonder whether or not you are actually teaching them anything and then they'll start doing something and you know they're getting it. It might not always be easy or a quick process but I've really enjoyed it. Now I can look to Ruth for inspiration in those moments. I'm so glad a co-worker recommended this to me. It's those small moments when a student finally gets something that truly make the day magical.

[Kaley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The very existence of Ruth's story, printed and published, is remarkable. Her story itself is eye-opening, haunting, incredible.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally found this book. It's a good memoir by a woman with severe cerebral palsy who spent much of her early life living at the Belchertown State School. I attended third and fourth grade in two dormitory buildings there starting just months after the institution closed. Ruth's father decided to have her institutionalized there after he couldn't get her into better programs for children with disabilities because of the high cost. While her body is quite disabled and she communicates using her eyes and facial movements, her brain is normal, which causes her a lot of frustration because the people around her, including health care professionals, typically assume she is cognitively disabled and/or can't hear or understand then. I was surprised by her description of the State School, which she described as a custodial care facility that was largely neglectful of residents (though it seems like there was improvement in the 1970s). I've mostly heard about the horrible physical and sexual abuse that happened there, but there was none of that in the book. I wonder if she actually didn't experience or witness any, or if she just chose not to share. It was interesting for me to see my friend's ex-boyfriend's father make an appearance (he was one of Ruth's friends from the State School), and I was also interested to learn that John Kerry was supposedly a nurse there (? though I was searching online and found nothing about him being a nurse, much less working in Belchertown). Since I grew up in the area, I also just liked reading about places I knew well, like Rooster's in Amherst. This was a good and easy read, and gives the reader an appreciation for the indignities and discrimination that people with disabilities often are subject to in daily life as a result of society's devaluation of them.

[Marie-Rose Peeters · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aangrijpend waargebeurd verhaal over een vrouw die als baby een hersenverlamming krijgt en daardoor aan beide armen en benen verlamd is, en niet kan praten.
Door middel van gezichtsuitdrukkingen kan ze ja, nee en misschien zeggen.
Later leert ze met ‘woordborden’ volledige gesprekken voeren en haar levensverhaal vertellen.
Schrijnend en wraakroepend zijn de toestanden en behandelingen die ze in diverse instituten moet ondergaan; ze wordt lang als zwaar geestelijk gehandicapt beschouwd (terwijl ze dat totaal niet is) en ook als dusdanig behandeld.
Onvoorstelbaar bewonderenswaardig is haar moed, kracht (zowel fysiek als mentaal) en positivisme waarmee ze zich al die jaren staande weet te houden.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute horrific first-hand account from a young woman who was institutionalized for her disability in the 50s and 60s.

Ruth's story is so important, and this should be required reading for anyone making policy changes that impact the disability community. It's so important to listen and learn from those who don't use speech to communicate.

[Gina Chesmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so cool to read an actual biography by a mute paraplegic. It was completely eye opening to hear about the mistreatment that happened in state school hospital in a town that I used to work in.

[Erika Barton · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book and a great story about perseverance and hard work

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

She’s an icon

[Sarah Mucci · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to give this book 3 stars because I thought that it dragged a bit and in terms of a pleasurable read, it fell somewhere in the middle for me. That being said, Ruth was in an intense situation that dragged for HER at times. I can't imagine the boredom that she suffered! So I am elevating my rating to 4 stars because I think this is an important book to pick up and read.
Ruth acquired cerebral palsy at a young age and thereafter experienced extremely limited mobility in additional to being nonverbal. She was placed in a state institution since her family felt that they could not take care of her at home. She was deemed severely intellectually disabled by doctors around her and was given horrific "care" at the institution, where she was surrounded by other people with many kinds of severe impairments - intellectual, physical, emotional, and social. Eventually, others realize that she is intelligent and that they have not been seeing her attempts to communicate, and she slowly begins a journey through various techniques of communication.
I read some reviews of this book that have said things like: "Those were different times." However, many people are still treated in these ways when they are unable to communicate in typical ways. As an SLP, this is an important book to see the power in communication, and how even simple/low-tech solutions can improve life greatly for nonverbal individuals.

[Laura Robb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was intrigued by the title and connected with this story in a lot of ways. Ruth was a quadriplegic and had cerebral palsy so she relied on people every day of her life to help her accomplish ordinary tasks. She wrote this book by moving her eyes to answer yes or no questions. She also had word boards. It is crazy what she lived through...being put in a state hospital, etc... A lot of things have changed since then.

[Fishface · Rating 4 out of 5]

The memoir of a woman who lived in institutions most of her life, treated as if she were mentally retarded because of CP that kept her from communicating freely. Tells how she finally managed to get across to someone that she is mentally normal, and how she went from there to building a life with some dignity and freedom. The kind of story that wouldn't be believable if it were a novel. This is how real people live every day.

[Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that everyone should read, an eye opener that is inspirational and heartbreaking. This book sheds a light on a topic that some people will want to shy away from, this book doesn't shy away from the truth, it is as tragic as it is beautiful. A wonderful book that deals with the harshness of the topic in a poetic and passionate way. Ruth is a true inspiration, everyone should read this book.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very inspiring.Ruths strength and perseverance is amazing.Being a caregiver for those who have no communication and one who raises his eyes to say yes I felt it was an important and revealing read.I am glad I can care for truly special people in a good home environment.I hope that having read this book I can do even better in interacting with these wonderful people.

[Jennifer]

Wow what a powerful book. It shows how someone who is unable to communicate verbal and thought to have been severely disabled was just hidden inside a shell of a body that didn’t work. (if you are looking for this book it is EXTEREMLY hard to find as it is out of print, but I DO own a copy)

[Elesa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this when I was around 18ish. Its an autobiography written by a woman with cerebral palsy. Since I only read cheesy romances and fantasy novels at the time I have no idea why I picked it up. But it was really good and really interesting and I'm glad I read it.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although the story was interesting and pretty much first hand, I found the voice to be almost annoying and the story to drag a little. Granted, the fact that it was written is in itself amazing, but I was left feeling rather underwhelmed.
2.5/5

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little boring, but an inspiring story of someone with severe physical and communication deficits that continues to live an inspiring life, despite a childhood spent in a poorly cared for instituation.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring account of obstacles overcome and commentary on the worth of individuals.

[Colette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story of a woman whose physical disabilities led to her life in a state hospital where people thought she was "a vegetable"

[Jessg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! This book is sad, but has its happy and uplifting moments. I highly recommend this book to everyone!

[Grada (BoekenTrol) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book many years ago. I remember it made a big impression on me, but I can't make a proper review right now. I'll re-read it and give my opinion later.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting story. This woman is so much like Kaleigh. I wish that we could find a way to communicate with her, although she does much with her eyes.

[Lie · Rating 2 out of 5]

mooi boek, geschreven volgens Ruth's aanwijzingen. Moet een hele opgave geweest zijn,maar is echt mooi geworden!

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was required reading in my speech pathology coursework years ago and it changed my life then. I reread it now more than a decade later and it was just as powerful and moving.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

any incredible book, and so telling regarding "you just never know" regarding abilities and disabilities. Communication is a key to so much...

ISBN 0-380-71245-8

[Nickie Coby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-read if you're interested in stories of the struggles and resilience and the rights of people with disabilities!

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! Amazing - what it's like to be trapped in your body unable to communicate...Read hardcover book. Gift from daughters.