Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-Day Saints

by Rachelle J. Christensen

We all know someone who has miscarried. Perhaps it has even happened to you. But even though the experience is so widespread, that pain is often simply pushed away without being properly acknowledged. In this insightful and practical guide to coping with the pain of miscarriage, Rachelle J. Christensen incorporates LDS doctrine and her own personal experiences to provide a unique perspective on how miscarrying can affect an eternal family. With chapters on grieving, a father's pain, and how to deal with miscarriage both before and after you have other children, this book makes a perfect gift for anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a longed-for child.

75 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Rachelle J. Christensen is a mother of five who writes mystery/suspense and solves the mystery of the missing shoe on a daily basis. She graduated cum laude from Utah State University with a degree in psychology and a music minor. She enjoys singing and songwriting, playing the piano, running, motivational speaking, and of course reading.

Rachelle is the award-winning author of twenty books, including The Soldier’s Bride (a Kindle Scout Selection & Whitney Award Finalist), Diamond Rings Are Deadly Things, Veils and Vengeance, Proposals and Poison, Hawaiian Masquerade, and Christmas Kisses: An Echo Ridge Anthology. Her novella, “Silver Cascade Secrets,” was included in the Rone Award–winning Timeless Romance Anthology, Fall Collection.
Join Rachelle’s VIP mailing list to learn more about upcoming books & get your free book at www.rachellechristensen.com

Reviews

[Pualanileimakamae · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very comforting read after experiencing a miscarriage. I appreciate that it was straightforward and not drawn out because when you’re sad you just want to get to the meat of the content without having to read a super long book. The author gives insights and suggestions in a way that is validating of the mourners emotions while also giving no pressure for you to follow or feel a particular way about them. It felt like having a conversation with a friend who simply wanted to comfort you and then offered tips for those who want that.

It includes some brief education, comfort and insights from the author, experiences & insights from other women who have experienced miscarriage,infertility, or infant loss, and some additional resources. I especially appreciated the sections about dads grieving and dealing with others comments.

While it is directed towards those of the faith of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I think anyone who is looking for a Christian perspective/vibe in regards to miscarriage would appreciate this book.

[MariahBookie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay.

There were some things that were helpful, but there were also some things that I didn’t agree with, and they felt a little outdated. I think it’s okay to set boundaries with your pregnant friends if you don’t want to talk about it, and you should in no way feel pressured to serve others as a way to deal with your own grief.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, quick read for both the mourner and the comforter.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book several weeks ago, after I went in for my 15 week check up and my doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. Everything had looked great in an ultrasound at 11 weeks, we had just told everyone, Dale had left 48 hours earlier for a year long deployment in Iraq... and I was just the one in a hundred that miscarries at that point with no real explanation at all.

I give this book 5 stars because I thought it did a great job of covering the topic of miscarriage for an LDS reader. I also have a friend who miscarried at 11 weeks, on almost the exact same day as me. She is a reader, as am I, and we both read this book on our own. She found a lot of comfort in what she read.

I believe that I get a lot of extra blessings when my husband is deployed. It's almost not fair to everyone else. I was sad for a few days, but peaceful, and within one week of my miscarriage and D and C I was downright joyful. Everything in my world seemed right, and I felt totally prepared for what happened. Also, I have two kids already, and already had the first one with my husband deployed. So I'm going to enjoy my God given respite from another pregnancy with him gone. I am actually excited now not to be pregnant or nursing for at least a year, with no real possibility of it happening. I have come back down from my joyful high of one week post miscarriage, but I haven't been sad or depressed at all. Rather, it has played out as a huge blessing for me. I can't come up with a reason, other than my husband is deployed, so I get extra blessed.

I like this book, even though I would have been okay without it. My friend who miscarried at the same time, whose husband is not deployed, has had a much, much harder time than me. She's a great person, not someone who you'd think of as weak in any way. If anything (based on my first deployment experience), I would have expected ME to fall apart, and her to do just fine. She really liked this book, and it brought her comfort.

I think this book would be just as good as flowers (actually better, because I don't really care that much about flowers) to give to someone who miscarries. In fact, I wish my kids hadn't bent it all up while I was reading it, or I would have saved it to give to someone the next time I hear someone has miscarried.

[Jody Kyburz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't TRYING to read this book by Mother's Day or anything like that. My fourth miscarriage was over two years ago now, so I am not currently distraught about anything. I had read another book by this author as an assignment for a class I was taking and when she came to speak to our class about that book, she mentioned she was selling this book, so I bought it off of her. It's full of good, solid, doctrinally correct information. I'd say she completely covers the whole topic of miscarriage. Do I wish I would have had this book for miscarriages 1, 2, 3, and 4? No. You can get the same information through prayer, scripture study, your doctors, and the internet. But it is a nice little book and highly appropriate, I would think, to give to someone who is experiencing this type of pain or situation. Everything in it was appropriate and sensitive. It's just good, honest information and insight.

[Rachelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my nonfiction book that has been a work of heart for many years. I hope that my book will be able to help others who have had to suffer from a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other infant loss. The book has specific information for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It helps to answer many of the questions that people have about the spiritual state of their "lost child" and why we face trials like these in our lives.
I also have a blog, www.copingwithmiscarriage.blogspot.com with more posts and information on this topic.

[C.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book, on a topic that is rarely addressed within the LDS culture, and yet one that causes such pain for those who miscarry. I love the way Rachelle tells of the trials she went through, as well as including the trials of others, and her explanations of how she feels the gospel of Jesus Christ comes into play.

As the Relief Society president in my ward, I recently purchased a number of copies of Lost Children to give to those sisters who mourn over the loss of an unborn child.

Thanks so much for writing a much needed book, Rachelle!

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a wonderful resource to help me when I experienced the lost of my baby. It discusses physical, emotional, and spiritual things associated with miscarriage. I appreciated the way it helped me to put words to what I was feeling. There are many comments from different women and their experiences. Mostly I think it is beneficial to help others know what not to say and ideas for things to do to offer comfort. A must read for those going through a miscarriage or associated with someone who is.

[Jaime Theler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wonderful resource not only for those who have had a miscarriage, but also for those who have a loved one who has miscarried. Author Rachelle Christensen uses facts, spiritual insight, and compassion, with an overarching tenderness that comes from personal experience, to give help and understanding to those coping with the very real emotions that accompany miscarriage. I highly recommended this book for anyone struggling with this issue.

[Bookwyrmgyrl]

I feel a little bit as if I have met the author in person, after reading her book. I appreciated the personal experiences she included - of her own, and those of other people. I also liked the examples of inspiring scriptures and the discussion of what to say, and what not to say, to people who are hurting. Definitely worth a read.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lost Children: Coping With Miscarriage for Latter-Day Saints really spoke to my heart. I miscarried eight years ago and wished I had this book to help comfort me during that difficulty.
I highly recommend this for those who have been through or who knows someone who has a miscarriage.
5 plus stars.

[Russ · Rating 5 out of 5]

R.J.Christensen does a masterful job. Miscarriage is a traumatic experience and this book takes a compassionate look at the process and helps provide understanding and love. For those who have suffered this loss, this book is a must read. I highly recommend it.

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very simple and fast read but wish there was a little more. Great book for those who have had a pregnancy loss or infertility and are LDS. Great scriptures were given and some great quotes.