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Child Lures: What Every Parent and Child Should Know About Preventing Sexual Abuse and Abduction
Read this book. It will give you the kind of practical advice that may just save your child. --Chris Wallace, Correspondent, ABC News
- GenresParenting
100 pages, Hardcover
First published January 15, 1995
22 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
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April 22, 2024Old book, but most of this stuff is still applicable. The internet hasn’t really changed the lures—just the means. I’d recommend it for any parent. It’s also very short.
September 19, 2022
Excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT book on helping to protect your child against predators!
The author was not interested in WHY child predators became predators, he was only interested in HOW they managed to persuade/trick/cajole children into becoming their victims. There are sections of the book you read WITH your child(ren) to help them understand the possible lures/tricks (help me find my lost puppy, help me bring my groceries in the house, etc.) and there are sections for the parents on how to help your child understand the tricks, how to spot a trick/lure, what to do in case someone approaches them. Parents are encouraged to practice with their children.
SUCH AN EXCELLENT BOOK; I recommend it to everyone I know with children!
The author was not interested in WHY child predators became predators, he was only interested in HOW they managed to persuade/trick/cajole children into becoming their victims. There are sections of the book you read WITH your child(ren) to help them understand the possible lures/tricks (help me find my lost puppy, help me bring my groceries in the house, etc.) and there are sections for the parents on how to help your child understand the tricks, how to spot a trick/lure, what to do in case someone approaches them. Parents are encouraged to practice with their children.
SUCH AN EXCELLENT BOOK; I recommend it to everyone I know with children!
May 20, 2013
Interesting.
The author is a old-school investigative journalist. He visited prisons and psychiatric hospitals interviewing dozens of convicted pedophiles with the ultimate goal of rooting out ways to raise awareness and prevent future victimization of children in this way.
What surprised me was the even-handedness of the book. He'll talk about how at least half of all cases of sexual abuse are in some way incestuous, but explicitly states that the majority of homes are incest free - fathers should not be afraid to hug their own daughters. He seems very focused on providing factual information to help parents teach their children to protect themselves rather than scaring the hell out of parents with "stranger danger" and other such messages that are generally unproductive and often harmful. He in fact explicitly states "Nearly every parent has told his or her child, 'Don't talk to strangers.' While it is well-meaning advice, I'm sorry to tell you that it rarely protects children from sexual assault and abduction." He goes further to explain that most children cannot clearly define a stranger and all it takes is a friendly introduction to re-categorize a "stranger" as someone they "know." And he also points out that most abuse victims know their abusers.
The author offers various examples of how to discuss certain things with children in a way that is accessible to even young children. For example, to explain that sometimes people are safe and sometimes they are not, he likens people to weather. You do not go out in play during a tornado or have a picnic during a blizzard. Just like there is unsafe weather, there are unsafe people. In talking about lures, he gives a fishing analogy.
The author also addresses the problems and dangers of false accusations. This is unique. I don't see a lot of books that address the problem of child molestation that also acknowledge the devastation a child can inflict by making up stories.
The book categorizes the different strategies the author heard from various sex offenders: Affection, Assistance, Authority, Bribery, Ego/Fame, Emergency, Fun and Games, Hero, Job, Name Recognition, Playmate/Companion, Pornography, Threats and Weapons, Drug, Computer/On-Line. Note that this book was written in 1995 and undoubtedly, the way some of these lures play out might be increasingly on-line. Each lure section contains a brief description of the tactic used by the wood-be molester often including what makes a child vulnerable to that tactic. Then there is a kind of instruction for kids and then instructions for parents. The parent instructions often have tips like to use the phrases "real love" and "fake love" instead of "good touch" and "bad touch" because sometimes the bad touch might start out feeling physically good. Then there are practice scenarios with the same kind of mindset of having a fire drill. They are "be prepared" sort of thing.
The author is a old-school investigative journalist. He visited prisons and psychiatric hospitals interviewing dozens of convicted pedophiles with the ultimate goal of rooting out ways to raise awareness and prevent future victimization of children in this way.
What surprised me was the even-handedness of the book. He'll talk about how at least half of all cases of sexual abuse are in some way incestuous, but explicitly states that the majority of homes are incest free - fathers should not be afraid to hug their own daughters. He seems very focused on providing factual information to help parents teach their children to protect themselves rather than scaring the hell out of parents with "stranger danger" and other such messages that are generally unproductive and often harmful. He in fact explicitly states "Nearly every parent has told his or her child, 'Don't talk to strangers.' While it is well-meaning advice, I'm sorry to tell you that it rarely protects children from sexual assault and abduction." He goes further to explain that most children cannot clearly define a stranger and all it takes is a friendly introduction to re-categorize a "stranger" as someone they "know." And he also points out that most abuse victims know their abusers.
The author offers various examples of how to discuss certain things with children in a way that is accessible to even young children. For example, to explain that sometimes people are safe and sometimes they are not, he likens people to weather. You do not go out in play during a tornado or have a picnic during a blizzard. Just like there is unsafe weather, there are unsafe people. In talking about lures, he gives a fishing analogy.
The author also addresses the problems and dangers of false accusations. This is unique. I don't see a lot of books that address the problem of child molestation that also acknowledge the devastation a child can inflict by making up stories.
The book categorizes the different strategies the author heard from various sex offenders: Affection, Assistance, Authority, Bribery, Ego/Fame, Emergency, Fun and Games, Hero, Job, Name Recognition, Playmate/Companion, Pornography, Threats and Weapons, Drug, Computer/On-Line. Note that this book was written in 1995 and undoubtedly, the way some of these lures play out might be increasingly on-line. Each lure section contains a brief description of the tactic used by the wood-be molester often including what makes a child vulnerable to that tactic. Then there is a kind of instruction for kids and then instructions for parents. The parent instructions often have tips like to use the phrases "real love" and "fake love" instead of "good touch" and "bad touch" because sometimes the bad touch might start out feeling physically good. Then there are practice scenarios with the same kind of mindset of having a fire drill. They are "be prepared" sort of thing.
September 7, 2016
Excellent for helping parents talk about the traps out there.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews