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474 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1993




Banquets are always pleasant things, consisting mostly, as they do, of eating and drinking; but the specially nice thing about a banquet is that it comes when something's over, and there's nothing more to worry about, and tomorrow seems a long way off.
Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes beautiful. If we could only be miserable all the time, if there could be no such thing as love or beauty or faith or hope, if i could be absolutely certain that my love would never be returned: how much more simple life would be. One could plod through the Siberian Salt mines of existence without being bothered about happiness. Unfortunately, the happiness is there. There is always the change (about eight hundred and fifty to one) that another heart will come to mine. I can't help hoping and keeping faith, and loving beauty. Quite frequently I am not so miserable as it would be wise to be. And there, for my poor father sitting on his boulder above the snow, was stark happiness beating at the gates.