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Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and Commitment
The numbers can't be the current generation of young Americans is delaying marriage longer than any other generation in history. But while the media trumpets this fact in a way that seems designed to scare us, until now no one has really taken the time to understand what people are doing instead.
Driven by his personal desire to understand why his single life stretched far into his thirties, Ethan Watters explores the cultural and social forces that have steered his generation away from the altar-and discovers many reasons to be optimistic about the course his generation has chosen. Central to his thinking is the idea of Urban the closely knit communities of friends that spring up during the ever-increasing period of time between college and married life. Tribes are revealed to be the key to understanding this generation, explaining not only why its members are putting off marriage, but also why singles often live outside of families so happily. In the end, Watters makes the case that the tribe years engender the self-respect critical to successful partnerships.
A funny, deeply insightful, and compulsively readable book that dares to suggest that the generation in question just might be interested in more than buying the latest SUV and drinking lattes at the local coffeehouse, Urban Tribes is destined to become one of the most talked-about books of the year.
"This is one of the best books I have read in a long time. Urban Tribes redefines the debate over the nature of community and social cohesion in society today. Ethan Watters provides powerful insight into the rise of new kinds of cities and support structures for the growing class of creative, single people inhabiting leading urban centers in the United States and around the world." -Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative And How It's Transforming Work, Leisure, Community and Everyday Life
Driven by his personal desire to understand why his single life stretched far into his thirties, Ethan Watters explores the cultural and social forces that have steered his generation away from the altar-and discovers many reasons to be optimistic about the course his generation has chosen. Central to his thinking is the idea of Urban the closely knit communities of friends that spring up during the ever-increasing period of time between college and married life. Tribes are revealed to be the key to understanding this generation, explaining not only why its members are putting off marriage, but also why singles often live outside of families so happily. In the end, Watters makes the case that the tribe years engender the self-respect critical to successful partnerships.
A funny, deeply insightful, and compulsively readable book that dares to suggest that the generation in question just might be interested in more than buying the latest SUV and drinking lattes at the local coffeehouse, Urban Tribes is destined to become one of the most talked-about books of the year.
"This is one of the best books I have read in a long time. Urban Tribes redefines the debate over the nature of community and social cohesion in society today. Ethan Watters provides powerful insight into the rise of new kinds of cities and support structures for the growing class of creative, single people inhabiting leading urban centers in the United States and around the world." -Richard Florida, author of The Rise of the Creative And How It's Transforming Work, Leisure, Community and Everyday Life
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2003
17 people are currently reading
477 people want to read
About the author
Ethan Watters
5 books55 followersEthan Watters is a free lance journalist whose work has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Discover, Men's Journal, Spin, Details, and Wired. A frequent contributor to NPR, Watters' work appeared in the 2007 and 2008 Best American Science and Nature Writing. He co-founded the San Francisco Writers Grotto, a work space for local artists. He lives in San Francisco with his wife and children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
June 29, 2008
In short: This book made me feel like I'm not the only one without a plan, merrily skipping along like I have been ever since college, and starting to be surprised as friends begin to get married in droves. I suppose it helps that the author is in his early 30's, lives in SF, and appears to lead a lifestyle very similar to mine; it probably also helps that, after a book's worth of analyzing the current young urban collective social scene from every possible angle he could get a hook into, he ends up married and writing a happy epilogue from his honeymoon in Hawaii. However, these aren't big deterrents for me, since (a) my perspective is based in SF in a similar scene; and (b) I'm a crazy optimist, and don't often really feel like I missed the boat.
A friend recommended this book to me after I posted a series of apparently-confusing Facebook status updates, implying to some that I was getting married (I was not), and then clarifying. I picked it up on spec, intending to skim a chapter at best, and ended up relishing the whole non-fiction several hundred pages of it (note: I don't usually finish non-fiction).
The first section is the voice from Gen X responding to the 90's condemnation of them, Bowling Alone. General thrust: We have different social structures that are no less valid than our grandparents', thank you very much, so please fuck off now. The second deals with why we even need to analyze these -- namely, the large delay between college and marriage that didn't exist 60 years ago. That meanders a bit more, the section entitled "Men & The Marriage Delay: My hunt for a good excuse" reading like a bit of spot-on stand-up comedy, but not really illuminating much beyond reinforcing my working life thesis that boys are dumb and should have rocks thrown at them.
Still, though, it gets 5 stars for looking at the type of life that I -- and, I imagine, most of my friends -- think is a bit of an aberration: that of the just-cruising 20- and early-30something, without marriage or kids specifically in mind. It provides a framework from which to think about this period, and, importantly, reminds us that we're not alone in this. (I know that that should be trivial and beyond dispute, but it was nonetheless really, really comforting to read about this in a book. Maybe I'm just an academic at heart.)
Especially because I read this right before attending a wedding in New Jersey full of skinny, married Jersey girls who had all taken their husbands' last names, this was extra-helpful in this phase of Life Justification And Consideration. I now have better terms for thinking about my place in life, and will have even more of a buffer for feeling annoyed that other lives are proceeding down a more traditional path even as I continue to enjoy one that, apparently, many others in my demographic are, too.
A friend recommended this book to me after I posted a series of apparently-confusing Facebook status updates, implying to some that I was getting married (I was not), and then clarifying. I picked it up on spec, intending to skim a chapter at best, and ended up relishing the whole non-fiction several hundred pages of it (note: I don't usually finish non-fiction).
The first section is the voice from Gen X responding to the 90's condemnation of them, Bowling Alone. General thrust: We have different social structures that are no less valid than our grandparents', thank you very much, so please fuck off now. The second deals with why we even need to analyze these -- namely, the large delay between college and marriage that didn't exist 60 years ago. That meanders a bit more, the section entitled "Men & The Marriage Delay: My hunt for a good excuse" reading like a bit of spot-on stand-up comedy, but not really illuminating much beyond reinforcing my working life thesis that boys are dumb and should have rocks thrown at them.
Still, though, it gets 5 stars for looking at the type of life that I -- and, I imagine, most of my friends -- think is a bit of an aberration: that of the just-cruising 20- and early-30something, without marriage or kids specifically in mind. It provides a framework from which to think about this period, and, importantly, reminds us that we're not alone in this. (I know that that should be trivial and beyond dispute, but it was nonetheless really, really comforting to read about this in a book. Maybe I'm just an academic at heart.)
Especially because I read this right before attending a wedding in New Jersey full of skinny, married Jersey girls who had all taken their husbands' last names, this was extra-helpful in this phase of Life Justification And Consideration. I now have better terms for thinking about my place in life, and will have even more of a buffer for feeling annoyed that other lives are proceeding down a more traditional path even as I continue to enjoy one that, apparently, many others in my demographic are, too.
August 24, 2013
If I had read Ethan Watters a handful of years ago, when I hovered on the brink of 30, resided far from my blood relatives, and existed in mortal dread of being the "old maid librarian", perhaps I would have readjusted my mindset. Watters presents to American "never marrieds" a viable alternative to the traditional family structure.
So you're 32 and single? You're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. It's the logical result of pursuing a higher education and/or career and/or creative outlets. You don't have a spouse and kids, true, but you have an "urban tribe"--an entity that grew out of the economic prosperity and the social freedoms of the latter part of the 20th century. Your urban tribe is composed of friends, roommates,colleagues--people who provide you emotional, professional, and sometimes even financial support. They are the people you turn to, in lieu of your parents or spouse of children. They are, in a way, your non-blood family.
As Watters examines the development and dynamics of urban tribes, he also quietly asks another questions--are these tribes preventing people from marriage? Are they contributing to a delay in their development into adults? And why ARE so many of us still single, anyway? This last question, treated later in the book, seems somewhat extraneous and off-topic, but as my copy of this book is an ARC, I am uncertain as to whether this section made it into the final draft,
There is much in this book that is useful and encouraging, but the problem is that it exists inside a vaccuum. There are too many elements of this book that will date it and limit its shelf life--in addition to the references to answering machines, and books such as The Rules and shows such as Sex and the City and Friends--the chief issue with it is that it reflects the zeitgeist that was at least responsible for its creation--the heady optimism that many of my generation were feeling when it was published, prior to the Great Recession.
Oddly enough, the references that will make this book problematic within the next 20 years, will give it an unintended advantage 50 years from now, and beyond. Because of its references, because of its quietly cheerful outlook, because of the socio-economic context in which it was written, it will one day make an excellent "primary document" reflecting the long-ago, far-off Western society of "New Millenium."
Those were the days.
So you're 32 and single? You're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. It's the logical result of pursuing a higher education and/or career and/or creative outlets. You don't have a spouse and kids, true, but you have an "urban tribe"--an entity that grew out of the economic prosperity and the social freedoms of the latter part of the 20th century. Your urban tribe is composed of friends, roommates,colleagues--people who provide you emotional, professional, and sometimes even financial support. They are the people you turn to, in lieu of your parents or spouse of children. They are, in a way, your non-blood family.
As Watters examines the development and dynamics of urban tribes, he also quietly asks another questions--are these tribes preventing people from marriage? Are they contributing to a delay in their development into adults? And why ARE so many of us still single, anyway? This last question, treated later in the book, seems somewhat extraneous and off-topic, but as my copy of this book is an ARC, I am uncertain as to whether this section made it into the final draft,
There is much in this book that is useful and encouraging, but the problem is that it exists inside a vaccuum. There are too many elements of this book that will date it and limit its shelf life--in addition to the references to answering machines, and books such as The Rules and shows such as Sex and the City and Friends--the chief issue with it is that it reflects the zeitgeist that was at least responsible for its creation--the heady optimism that many of my generation were feeling when it was published, prior to the Great Recession.
Oddly enough, the references that will make this book problematic within the next 20 years, will give it an unintended advantage 50 years from now, and beyond. Because of its references, because of its quietly cheerful outlook, because of the socio-economic context in which it was written, it will one day make an excellent "primary document" reflecting the long-ago, far-off Western society of "New Millenium."
Those were the days.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 29, 2010
This book made a big impact on me in my first years living in San Francisco. I had moved here from the Phoenix-metro area right after college, and the ideas Watters describes validated a lot of the things I was experiencing, being far away from relatives and finding refuge in an ever-shifting and loosely-knit group of friends. There's a sense of belonging as well as a sense of longing for the relationships to grow, to last, and to truly support a lifestyle that's not bound by traditional expectations.
I don't recall much of the "science" or methodology other reviewers describe, so I'm not sure whether I find it flawed or annoying. It's the personal narrative that I seem to remember was engaging.
The stories and realizations probably seem trite now, but I suspect that has more to do with me: I'm older, less insecure about making and keeping friends, and the concept of an urban tribe is so prevalent in SF's culture that to speak of it is like to discuss of the need to breathe.
Still, it's a light, entertaining read.
I don't recall much of the "science" or methodology other reviewers describe, so I'm not sure whether I find it flawed or annoying. It's the personal narrative that I seem to remember was engaging.
The stories and realizations probably seem trite now, but I suspect that has more to do with me: I'm older, less insecure about making and keeping friends, and the concept of an urban tribe is so prevalent in SF's culture that to speak of it is like to discuss of the need to breathe.
Still, it's a light, entertaining read.
September 13, 2007
The personal stories and familiar narrative the author uses in the first 1/3 of this book are engaging and I was loving his sociological analysis --- and then we got to his take on Bowling Alone and his methodology was quacky to say the least.
Looking at the statistics he was referencing and the conclusions he was drawing - REACHING is a fair word choice. So enjoy this for its anecdotal sociology, as there's some truth in it, but read his conclusions critically.
After awhile the author's out-of-control ego went from charming to grating. Then the second half of the book attempted to take on why we're marrying later - a topic I love reading about - and yet the author was just such a whiny man-child about his reasons/justifications for not getting married and women leaving him for it that I finally just had to put the book down.
Looking at the statistics he was referencing and the conclusions he was drawing - REACHING is a fair word choice. So enjoy this for its anecdotal sociology, as there's some truth in it, but read his conclusions critically.
After awhile the author's out-of-control ego went from charming to grating. Then the second half of the book attempted to take on why we're marrying later - a topic I love reading about - and yet the author was just such a whiny man-child about his reasons/justifications for not getting married and women leaving him for it that I finally just had to put the book down.
December 28, 2007
Such a good concept that gets completely lost in this guys own self indulgence and eventual negation of his original starting point. He loses the plot and doesn't say much of note as a result. The most you will get from the book is in the title, go with that concept and read a lot of other books that are far better. Maybe Douglas Coupland or something, and then, at least you will get the enjoyment of a novel.
September 25, 2009
While I like the initial concept - i.e. that friends fill some of the functions historically provided by family - Ethan's thoughts on the impact/pros/cons of this trend is personal conjecture, and not particularly thoughtful.
October 27, 2021
Good! Guy knows what he's talking about. In line with everything Pagan Kennedy, Lisa Carver, Lev Grossman, Richard Linklater, and Douglas Coupland ever wrote about/documented. Not some TV show! "For sure, for sure ... " 😉 #yeah--
July 16, 2009
my friends are cooler than your friends. meh.
August 25, 2019
The title of the hardcover book I own is: “Urban Tribes: a generation redefines friendship, family, and commitment.” Same author - I figure it’s the same book. Read it a long time ago - enjoyed it at the time.
July 29, 2013
It isn't often that I read a book that I find truly speaks to me. Some books are engaging in that I find the material of interest while other books are written well and I find myself wanting to see what happens next. For a book to really speak to me it has to be something different. After reading an article in a magazine I went to buy Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters.
The idea of the urban tribe, and let me say right now I'm badly paraphrasing most of the rest of this, is a group of never-married friends, having a high clustering coefficient, that are experiencing and sharing life together. My generation (and I use that term loosely since I don't have a better one) has chosen to delay marriage long past the point that our parents did. While politicians bemoan this breakdown of traditional family values, my generation has chosen to create their own values one of which is to question the traditional trajectory of marriage.
Courtship is all but dead. Parents may still try to set us up, but the role that they play in helping us find our marriage partner has all but gone away. My generation also looks at our parents and sees the coin-flip chances that a marriage will last and wonders is there a way to improve our chances. The book argues that the urban tribe has changed the middle years between leaving our parent's house and starting married life, for the better.
The urban tribe provides a support structure like a traditional family, friends to help you when you are feeling down, friends to help you celebrate the good times, friends to lend a hand with projects, and friends just to hang out with. The difference between a standard group of friends and an urban tribe is that high clustering coefficient, everyone in the tribe is friends with everyone else in the core cluster. Some of the friendships maybe deeper than other, but it is almost always a fully connected cluster.
Since the tribe is so close, it offers an arena of safety to help one grow and become a better person. You can do stupid stuff and the tribe will be there to help fix things. You can use them as a sounding board for ideas and the tribe will tell you when you are being silly, stupid, or dumb. The tribe knows what you are capable of and will help steer you towards that better self. Instead of experiencing that discovery within the contexts of traditional relationships, which carry much more emotional turmoil, the tribe helps you improve in a more relaxed setting.
Not all is golden with urban tribes though. Since the group is a central part of your life it is hard to break free. The urban tribe doesn't want its members to leave and as such the group can almost sabotage those that try to. What is important to keep in mind is that the nature of the relationship must change at some point. Just like moving out of your parent's house, you need to move out of your tribe to take the next step in your life which in this context is usually marriage.
I agree with the author that "Single people tend to see themselves as a failure in the marriage game until they found themselves in a relationship headed for the alter. They perceived little gray area in their love lives - things were either going great or badly." I find hope in the fact that there are others out there like me and that our time for love will come.
The idea of the urban tribe, and let me say right now I'm badly paraphrasing most of the rest of this, is a group of never-married friends, having a high clustering coefficient, that are experiencing and sharing life together. My generation (and I use that term loosely since I don't have a better one) has chosen to delay marriage long past the point that our parents did. While politicians bemoan this breakdown of traditional family values, my generation has chosen to create their own values one of which is to question the traditional trajectory of marriage.
Courtship is all but dead. Parents may still try to set us up, but the role that they play in helping us find our marriage partner has all but gone away. My generation also looks at our parents and sees the coin-flip chances that a marriage will last and wonders is there a way to improve our chances. The book argues that the urban tribe has changed the middle years between leaving our parent's house and starting married life, for the better.
The urban tribe provides a support structure like a traditional family, friends to help you when you are feeling down, friends to help you celebrate the good times, friends to lend a hand with projects, and friends just to hang out with. The difference between a standard group of friends and an urban tribe is that high clustering coefficient, everyone in the tribe is friends with everyone else in the core cluster. Some of the friendships maybe deeper than other, but it is almost always a fully connected cluster.
Since the tribe is so close, it offers an arena of safety to help one grow and become a better person. You can do stupid stuff and the tribe will be there to help fix things. You can use them as a sounding board for ideas and the tribe will tell you when you are being silly, stupid, or dumb. The tribe knows what you are capable of and will help steer you towards that better self. Instead of experiencing that discovery within the contexts of traditional relationships, which carry much more emotional turmoil, the tribe helps you improve in a more relaxed setting.
Not all is golden with urban tribes though. Since the group is a central part of your life it is hard to break free. The urban tribe doesn't want its members to leave and as such the group can almost sabotage those that try to. What is important to keep in mind is that the nature of the relationship must change at some point. Just like moving out of your parent's house, you need to move out of your tribe to take the next step in your life which in this context is usually marriage.
I agree with the author that "Single people tend to see themselves as a failure in the marriage game until they found themselves in a relationship headed for the alter. They perceived little gray area in their love lives - things were either going great or badly." I find hope in the fact that there are others out there like me and that our time for love will come.
May 6, 2017
I have wanted to read this book for many years, and decided that moving to a new city would be a great time to read about tribes. Having been a part of a few groups that I would describe as "tribes," and having a sense of what the defining characteristics are, some of they dynamics, and what they have to offer, I have been interested in a book that dissected this topic further for some time.
This is not that book. While it does center around the topic of tribes, and does touch on some dissection of them, it is more accurate to describe this book as social commentary on the romantic lives of people in their 20's and 30's today and how tribes are related to that, than it is about tribes themselves. In particular, there is a big focus on the path towards marriage, and how tribes may provide a familial function in the intermediary time between starting life and getting married.
There's some interesting stuff here. For example, while I had been aware that fewer and fewer people of my generation were choosing marriage, but reading about it in more detail was interesting. It even touches on evolutionary psychology, which is a topic that I am interested in. But the content through the often embarrassing lens of a bumbling single guy flailing around trying to justify why he hasn't met Mrs. Right. I imagine this might be of more interest to people that find the prospect of ending up on the other side of a white picket fence more appealing, but even to the extent that this is true, I feel like he didn't do the topic justice.
Disappointing.
This is not that book. While it does center around the topic of tribes, and does touch on some dissection of them, it is more accurate to describe this book as social commentary on the romantic lives of people in their 20's and 30's today and how tribes are related to that, than it is about tribes themselves. In particular, there is a big focus on the path towards marriage, and how tribes may provide a familial function in the intermediary time between starting life and getting married.
There's some interesting stuff here. For example, while I had been aware that fewer and fewer people of my generation were choosing marriage, but reading about it in more detail was interesting. It even touches on evolutionary psychology, which is a topic that I am interested in. But the content through the often embarrassing lens of a bumbling single guy flailing around trying to justify why he hasn't met Mrs. Right. I imagine this might be of more interest to people that find the prospect of ending up on the other side of a white picket fence more appealing, but even to the extent that this is true, I feel like he didn't do the topic justice.
Disappointing.
September 5, 2007
the concept of 'urban tribes' is interesting, and in this book Watters delves into network theory, evolutionary and genetic psychology and some rather flimsy ideas of 'what women want' in order to explain why so many young professional 'never-marrieds' prefer to spend their 20s and 30s with their friends rather than inside more traditional family-structures.
it's a light read, I read it in a few days, which for me means the book is either really really good or really light, and this is definitely the latter. the problem, i think, is that as Watters thesis gradually fails (as his friends, like himself, grow dissatisfied with what they get from the tribe, and end up coupling up and getting married after all...), the book becomes a personal quest to justify the 20 years the author spent *not* being married, to somehow prove these years weren't a waste of time. (and as i got married at 24 i wouldn't know :))
November 11, 2007
This book is not overly deep or ground breaking but it was a joy to read because it touches on the phenomenon of the 'urban tribe'. The 'urban tribe' is presented as the social structure which fills what is often presented as a void between the stages of living in your parent's home and having a family of your own. The author admits to not being an expert on anthropology or psychology but ended up writing this book partially as a reaction to the often very negative commentaries on the ever growing number of 'never-marrieds'.
I found this book enjoyable to read because it adds a much needed narrative to my current, very socially rich existence as a 'never-married'. I also think that all of my friends should read parts of this book.
I found this book enjoyable to read because it adds a much needed narrative to my current, very socially rich existence as a 'never-married'. I also think that all of my friends should read parts of this book.
November 15, 2007
Dunno if you guys came across this as a book or when it was a series of articles, but it's a fabulous idea about how important friends are to our generation and how they're even replacing families in some instances (not sure if that's because people wanted to live out "Friends" or if their families suck). I tried to explain this to my mom once and she didn't get it. I imagine an idea like this appeals to people our and younger more and more because we're not getting married at a young age, or if we do (like you, Casey), we don't only keep in touch with our family. My parents don't have those life-long friends like we all do.
Anyway, this is worth your time, even if it does focus on San Fran folk.
Anyway, this is worth your time, even if it does focus on San Fran folk.
August 16, 2007
This is a book that struck a cord with me. As a single person I get tired of dealing with stereotypes and clichés that are not accurate or fair. Just because I do not have a traditional family does not mean that I don't value the institution. I appreciate the fact that Watters is not defensive of the urban tribal lifestyle. Instead, he uses the book to show that the urban tribe movement deserves its own analysis. If we are only willing to look at our society through the lens of family than we may miss out on an entire productive and happy segment of our population. I read it with a highlighter in-hand and was constantly writing notes on segments I related to.
January 28, 2010
So far kind of interesting. Got this from the SD writers ink book swap. Want to give it a go. Reminds me of my single days, when my house was open for all the player's to enter..... Been enjoying reading this on the treadmill.. It is a bit sociological, philosophical, and amusing.... So far though it needs to move a bit quicker or I will have to give it the Karate Chop.. wwwtttttaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, didn't give it the Karate Chop, but tough book to finish... I did, but feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life by doing it.... For the right segement of our population this book would work, however for me it was informative, but not entertaining.....
Ok, didn't give it the Karate Chop, but tough book to finish... I did, but feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life by doing it.... For the right segement of our population this book would work, however for me it was informative, but not entertaining.....
June 3, 2013
This book sort of dragged in the middle, but the beginning and end were good. It's a little dated, because it was written before social networking. Our tribes are more geographically diverse now. I'm considering moving to a new city and I already have a tribe there.
One beef I had, toward the end of the book, he talked about his two decades of singleness seeming like a blur. I have done a lot during my time as a single adult. I earned three university degrees, lived all over the US, travelled all over the world. I have a lot of landmarks. They just happen not to involve marriage and children.
One beef I had, toward the end of the book, he talked about his two decades of singleness seeming like a blur. I have done a lot during my time as a single adult. I earned three university degrees, lived all over the US, travelled all over the world. I have a lot of landmarks. They just happen not to involve marriage and children.
May 29, 2008
It's nithing new or groundbreaking or revolutionnary, but reading about how people all across the country (and supposedly across the world, if my experience is to be any indication) are living via their cirlcle of friends as a substitute to founding a family, was exhilarating and yes, reassuring in a way. The inner workings, taboos, rules, bonuses and benefits of a tribe seem to be similar world wide, it's a new way of life for the upcoming generations. A chance to prolong your youth while taking a careful measured entrance into full on adulthood.
October 9, 2014
Many years ago a friend of mine recommended this book. It was completely relatable to my generation - the ones who are moving away from their upbringing hometowns, not expecting to go back, making family of the friends they grew with professionally and into adult hood. Watters described so much of what life was like for those of us not living near family. I highly recommend this book for those trying to find their "fit", as it may have already been found.
April 4, 2007
Watters uses a relaxed narrative style to keep the reader engaged in the book. But the subject matter itself is compelling, too. I read this thing from cover-to-cover in a short amount of time, and the only drawback was that I became jealous of the urban tribe members described in the book - I've moved to much to join one.
June 13, 2007
i'm glad i read this book and understand that the idea of having a family away from the house and community you grew up in is a common phenomenon.
after a few chapters i understood the point- and it got slightly verbose and lengthy- but i get it. and i liked it. and i've shared it with my SF urban tribe.
AND it's about a post-college group living in SF. so that was fun too.
after a few chapters i understood the point- and it got slightly verbose and lengthy- but i get it. and i liked it. and i've shared it with my SF urban tribe.
AND it's about a post-college group living in SF. so that was fun too.
January 9, 2008
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book - it's a great analysis of the trend of making a family out of your friends (and there is really no scientific terminology or academic reading tone so it's an easy read.) Although not geared specifically towards a queer audience, I imagine our population can relate very easily to the central group of liberal twenty- and thirty-somethings in this book.
March 6, 2008
I found this book randomly at a bookstore. When I read it I was single and could have been a character in the book. It was so true to life. I recommend it to any twentysomething/thirtysomething singleton living in a city away from home. You may find yourself in there too! It helped me appreciate that time of life and helped me to see it for what it was.
March 21, 2008
Pretty quick read and explores some interesting ideas. Ultimately probably shouldn't have been much more than a NY Times magazine article, but still fun nevertheless for how close to home some of this stuff hits. It's also too bad that Watters never really deals too squarely with issues of affluence and class when considering his whole urban tribe idea.
May 1, 2008
I remember being rather dissatisfied by this book - I believe there wasn't enough analysis for me to find it a satisfying read. The author used the book as a way to point out his lifestyle and why he found it unique, but I can't say I remember why he found it so significant. I ought to revisit it for the purpose of a better review...
February 21, 2014
I read this book a long time ago, before I had a tribe or knew that was how I wanted to live.
I recently rediscovered it and it's as good as ever. It was really ahead of its time, seeing forward to the moment when we would really start to marry later and build families differently. This is only getting more true and more useful.
I recently rediscovered it and it's as good as ever. It was really ahead of its time, seeing forward to the moment when we would really start to marry later and build families differently. This is only getting more true and more useful.
September 22, 2010
Some interesting insights. I found the first part on community quite compelling (esp Chapter 4: How Tribes Connect a City); the second part (on love and dating) not so much. However, I suspect others may feel the reverse. Check it out if you spend any time thinking about how you and your friends interact.
April 23, 2013
While he did do a small amount of covering the concept of urban tribes from a sociological standpoint, the bulk of the book was made up of his largely uninteresting personal memoirs, ending with such a repulsively saccharine account of his honeymoon I kept hoping for an epilogue where he chronicled his subsequent divorce.
May 13, 2007
This is an extremely interesting book about the growing phenomina of unmarried 20 and 30-somethings creating enclaves in big cities. Expendible incomes, inner-group dating, and pressure from the family to get married are all discussed in a fresh way.
Interesting interesting.
Interesting interesting.
September 3, 2007
i was kind of disappointed with this one. it was a bit boring to me. i was expecting more insight/ideas. maybe its a different read for people who are not in their 30's and living in an urban environment- yeah, i'm sure that's it.
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