The Art of Being a Good Friend: How to Bring Out the Best in Your Friends and in Yourself

by Hugh Black

Friendship is one of the soul's purest and greatest pleasures, but no matter how many friends you have, and how close you think you are to them, you probably aren't aware of the tremendous spiritual importance of true friendship and of how crucial it is to keeping your head and your soul in our neo-pagan society. Author Hugh Black argues that it's actually spiritually dangerous to let friendships remain on the superficial level that all too many people settle for nowadays doing no more with their friends than going shopping or watching a football game together. He maintains that when you take friendship for granted and don't give it the care it deserves, you turn your back on a God-given source of spiritual vitality, joy, and comfort. But don't despair! Black shows you how to transform superficial friendships into soul-nourishing relationships, bringing them from shallowness and frivolity to a deep communion of mind and heart a communion that will become for you (and for them) a means for spiritual growth. If you're married, you'll find here new ways to appreciate the gift God has given to you in your spouse. If you already enjoy the blessings of other mature and spiritually oriented friendships, you'll discover innumerable ways to make them richer, so that they'll approach the full, unbounded love that David had for Jonathan, that St. Francis de Sales had for St. Jane Frances de Chantal, and that Christian friends throughout the ages have enjoyed as they encounter the light of Christ that shines in the souls of other human beings. Best of all, you'll learn how to seek friendship with God. As you discover the joys of this friendship that transcends death and as you enrich your friendships here on earth, you'll come to see how truly Black speaks when he says that no one would care to live without friends, even if he had all other good things.

Genres: Relationships, Catholic, Christian

147 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 1999

About the author

Hugh Black (1868- )

Reviews

[Mary Helen Sherman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite book on this topic, but I couldn’t pass it up. The author’s language is a little above me so I did have to read things a few times to understand them. However, he does have some things on friendship that I have never been able to put into words, specifically in regards to friendship in the midst of grief. Also, it actually prompts and says some hard things that other books like this don’t cover or quite go far enough into like growing out of friendships, fighting against selfishness in friendships, and the intimacy that real friendship actually carries in our pursuit for the Lord.

[Kevin W · Rating 4 out of 5]

"There are worse losses than the losses of death, and to bury a friendship is a keener grief than to bury a friend. The latter softens the heart and sweetens the life, while the former hardens and embitters."
A lot of wisdom packed into this short book.

[Jack Sullivan]

4 stars

[Lizard · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good!!!!! Have someone in mind to gift my copy to :)

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent.

A bit wordy, but wonderful nuggets of wisdom and advice. Definitely made me ponder. Also several points I didn’t necessarily agree with, thus providing fantastic discussion fodder.

[A Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

No man is an island yet each alone must live his life - we are connected yet separate. This book is replete with sage advice for understanding friendship at its core, identifying the traits of good friends and good friendships....and...for seeing the role of friendship in marriage and in relation to God. One of the more worthwhile and timeless treatise (originally published in 1898) on the subject of friendship complete with practical advice. Highly recommended as an adjunct to the breathless and shallow cheerleading available in mass production.

[Roxann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really good book that takes you through the purpose of friendships, how to be a good friend and how earthly relationships draw us closer to understanding our relationship with Jesus.

“There is possible such a blessed relationship, a state of love and trust and generous comradeship, where a person feels safe to be himself, because he knows that he will not easily be misunderstood.”