The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource to Pleasure and Seduction

by Barbara Keesling

In Barbara Keesling's latest book for women about sex, the noted sex therapist mines the idea that virtually every good girl yearns in her heart to be a bad girl.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Sexuality, Relationships, Research, Reference, Marriage

260 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2001

Reviews

[Mirela · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read ...👍

[Amina Elidrissy · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book is for woman who has been denying her own sexuality for too long, how to accept her body, how to be intimate with her partner, how to talk, think, walk, and dress in a way that let her to escape from what she ignored. herself in a sensual way, i learned a lot about how to accept my self and stop denying who i am sexually, i learned about my husband too, and i think it's specifically written to unlock what was holding any female back from accepting & enjoying her intimate life.
the exercises of breathing, walking, and talking sexually was great, even though there's other exercises that you can't get a long with, (it depends) i loved the teasing strategies, and the costume scenario ideas, work perfectly to spice up the bedroom of married couple especially.
after all it's not about being nice or bad, it's about accepting yourself entirely and just feel free from inside ;)

[Autumn Darling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a LOT from this book! I learned about myself, I learned about my husband, I learned how to do things to him that just BLEW his mind!! Great book!

[Audra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although it is probably not something I would have thought to pick up on my own, I read this book on a recommendation and am very glad that I did! Written by Dr. Barbara Keesling (a psychologist and sexual health doctor), it offers lots of concrete advice while encouraging a very healthy view of female self-esteem and sexuality.

Through a series of clearly structured chapters and numerous exercises, this book will help any woman who is feeling shy, repressed, ashamed, or in any way negative about sex (even if only a little bit). The book begins by helping you to identify the sources/causes of those negative feelings, and to gradually work toward letting them go, to be replaced with more open and positive feelings towards your own sexuality. Dr. Keesling repeatedly emphasizes that sex is a positive value in life, and that it is healthy and right for women (as well as men) to want to have lots of spectacular sex. She defines a "Good Girl" as any woman who has absorbed any idea along the lines of "It's not okay for me to like sex," "I shouldn't be too into sex," "If I enjoy sex too much that makes me slutty," "I have to hold back during sex," or "It doesn't matter if I'm not enjoying sex as much as my partner." Dr. Keesling then defines a "Bad Girl" not as someone who is unhealthy about sex in any way, but as a confident woman who knows how to show herself off, enjoys sex, knows what she wants from sex, and is in no way ashamed of any of that. This positive attitude toward sex and female sexuality appealed to me a lot.

Another thing I liked about the book was that many of the chapters (and many of the exercises) were about more than just what goes on in the bedroom. There is advice for walking, speaking, dressing and acting more confidently and sexily, with exercises to help you achieve those goals. I especially appreciated the reminder that there are many simple, easy ways to pamper yourself, and to have some sensuality in your life every day, which is both nice in and of itself, and very helpful for relieving some chronic stress. There are also exercises designed to help you become more familiar and comfortable with your body in a sexual context. The book ends with several chapters devoted specifically to sex, with exercises to help you be more confident about sex, and also for getting more pleasure from sex (either on your own or with a partner). Here, too, I believe the mindset that Dr. Keesling encourages is very healthy, with an emphasis on not only the physical aspects of sex, but also on being able to think and speak openly about it as well.

While overall I found the exercises to be very helpful, I will say that I did not actually do all of them (some, especially the ones relating to how you walk and how you speak, need a friend and a video camera to be carried out fully), but I did find that even just thinking about them was beneficial. I would say that the book is most helpful if all the exercises are given at least some consideration, but that there is a lot to be gained even if you pick and choose which exercises seem most relevant or useful to you.

I think that I would recommend this book to just about any woman (regardless of sexual orientation, and whether single or in a relationship), because I think that anyone could find something new or helpful to think about or try, and because the book promotes such a good, healthy attitude about sex in general. I would absolutely recommend it to any woman who feels in any way shy or repressed about herself or her body, because as I mentioned above, I think this book has some good advice for feeling more confident about yourself generally, as well as sexually. All in all, I enjoyed this book and learned a lot from it, and have definitely returned to it several times for reminders about specific exercises or pieces of advice.

[Kaylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had been sitting around since my friend bought it for me as a senior in high school. I carted it to college and back (every semester), then moved it through three different apartments.

It's full of "exercises", ranging from the are you kidding me?! ones like getting rid of any clothing you own that isn't "sexy", to the okay, I'll do these more than once.... A really fast read -- until I got stuck on chapter 8 ("Bad Girls Know How to Climax").

If you can get past the oddly juvenile tone, chapter 8 alone is worth it. Ignore all the rest.

[Janelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

After reading it, I realized I'm not all that prude! (LOL) All I got out of the book was "Let loose, be comfortable with who you are!" Which as I get older, I do. I don't think a book can provide you with self esteem, especially not this one. Encouragement yes, self appreciation, no. Perhaps this book would suit a 20 year old virgin before her wedding night. It was somewhat entertaining to read through, I giggled a few times!

[Nikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not all together worthless but not particularly insightful either.

[Katie J Schwartz · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't finish this book. I just can't. The sentence that stopped me? Right here:

"And the way the penis moves this way and that, flopping around, sometimes hitting you in the face if it's erect, is a total turn on - for you as well as him."

WTF. I can't go on. The first part of the book was awful anyway.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the book was interesting it want quite what I thought it'd be. I was expecting some crazy advice but I got a book full of stock advice you'd receive from any run of the mill sex column. If you have real issues with expressing yourself sexually I think this could really be of some help, but otherwise its probably not worth the money.

[Tori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I guess if you are *really* square and conservative, this book might stir you up a little bit. Complete with "mad lib" type phone sex dialogue, it's definitely for GOOD GIRLS only. Even semi-not-good girls will find this book uninspiring.

[Hadeel A. T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has a lot of useful things for a woman in general. It helps her to be mentally and physically better. Also, more accepting of herself, and her body. At the same time, improve in the way a woman walks, talks, and dresses to look better and feel better.

[ladybug · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ditto what Felicia said about this book... I know what you're thinking but it really is a good book and it not all about the kinky

[Celina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A big confidence boost! ;)

[Autumn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every woman should read this book.

[Mary Ellen Woods · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since I already qualified as a "bad girl" this wasn't exactly the most useful book for me, except for a few of the excercises. But it was entertaining and useful for writing romance novels since it gave me a peek at the way some other women think about sex. It deals in some pretty broad generalizations and was corny in places so you have to take that into account. For women who struggle with sexual pleasure I suppose it could be very helpful. Seems like every woman could get something out of it so, worth a read.

[Stacey Brough · Rating 4 out of 5]

I NEVER wanted to be a BAD girl anything, I liked my life of xxxx's and oooo's, but it doesn't mean I don't want to know my own desires, understand my body, how it works, should work and what the whole dang sexual revolution is about. This is a GREAT book! It helps all of us good girls, be the public lady and the master of our own fate in private! NUFF SAID!

Thanks You, author, Barbara for being willing to explain what I would never have known how to ask.

[Susana · Rating 4 out of 5]

okay.
so the title sounds ridiculous.
(it was a gift! thanks tina. ha.)

but an excellent example of how one must not judge a book by its cover! (as i had originally and simply put it aside for oh.. two years?)

keesling brings control of ones sexuality
back to the female.
the source. the exemplification.
awareness. and conscious sensuality.
empowerment.

[Rosalía · Rating 5 out of 5]

This sex guide is perfect for women who have experienced something in their past that holds them back from experiencing sex in its most enjoyable ways. Barbara Keesling is an honest psychologist who uses pointers and ideas for making the bedroom a comfortable place to express your sexuality.The exercises are fun too and she even includes fun websites at the and to check out.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second time I've read this book. The first time was right after my divorce. It helped then but even more so now. Granted, there's a lot that doesn't apply directly to me due to my slightly skewed physiology but eh, there's more information I can use than not so it's cool. I so recommend this book.

[Dorothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tbh started reading it as a joke from middle onwards but as I began reading it from the beginning it made sense. First half is designated to ways to feel confident and the second half is exercises and ways to enjoy sex more. It was written a decade ago or 2 and it's fun to see how the content about sexuality looked like then vs how it is now.

[Musep · Rating 3 out of 5]

She says "what memories about NOT ENJOYING, NOT LIKING S__ and to journal. Well, i have not but do have a few moma moments that drift to mind. I mean it's messy & smelly & so forth. Making mud pies - messy but Fun!

[Cory · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this on the beach in Jamaica, thinking it would be a fun, easy read. It was a little too self-help-y for this purpose. Also, some of her advice was WHACK!!!! It's too risque to put in this review, but . . . whew!!! Crazy!!!

[Mel]

I'd just like to add the disclaimer that this book was a bachelorette gift from my soon-to-be mother-in-law 5 years ago before my husband and I were married. Not my usual reading material and I must admit I have not read it though I still own it 5 years later. We'll see!

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay, I have to write something for this one. Sometimes a married woman with two toddlers needs a little something more to feel sexy, and this book helped me out with that. I don't agree with all of her ideas, and some of you might be offended by it, but I wasn't.

[Mel · Rating 3 out of 5]

So parts of this were interesting, parts were ridiculous, and some parts were flatout "are you serious right now? Who can afford to do that?" It gave me some food for thought, but the underlying assumption that this would absolutely work for all women seemed flawed.

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

A different look at being a woman. This book starts at the beginning (how you walk, talk, breathe, dress) before it gets into the real "Bad Girl" sex.

[Emily]

Not slutty bad girl--this provides very practical advice and some great exercises for self-confidence and learning about one's self.

[Leila · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another book I read while working at X-Mart. Boring.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend gave this to me. I just laughed when I opened it. Does have some good stuff...you know, for a good girl.

[Aunt Wee (Alesa Smith) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much I don't allready know...