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Take It
21 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review
January 26, 2022
Free from a Garage Sale
Garage sale leftovers up for grabs
on the curb at 4525 Warner Ave —
two TVs, bright yellow high chair,
bag of toys with some Elmo
and Buzz Lightyear, knick knacks
for the bathroom and kitchen,
five tomato cages. Everything
used but usable. Free, so why not?
* * *
Free 1977 Ford Thunderbird
All or nothing. No parts picking.
Come and get it! Solid front end,
decent interior, nice doors and glass.
Straight body, except rear end
is crunched a little. No engine
or tranny. Must tow away.
No title, but have the registration.
Previous owner is deceased.
* * *
Free Wedding Cake Topper
Tiny cowboy groom and cowgirl bride.
Free to good home, hopefully
a couple planning to get married
but I’ll give it to anybody
who really wants it.
* * *
Free Bicycles
Three old bikes found in a shed.
Flat or missing tires and needing
serious cleaning. Vintage boys’ 3-speed,
all chrome with spots of rust,
probably late 60s. Women’s 10-speed
with basket on the back, could use
some TLC but looks pretty good.
Battered men’s 10-speed. The first two
are worth restoring. Must take all.
* * *
Free Pool Table
First person who shows up
for the pool table gets it. It does
have scratches in the wood
which should sand out easily.
Felt is like new. Balls and cues
not included. Don’t ask me —
I won’t hold this. You hurry,
you haul, and it’s yours.
* * *
Free Reading Pillow
I think they call these husbands.
I’m not certain, but this pillow
is comfortable and made of corduroy.
I paid forty dollars for it and now
I want you to take it. I never
have time to read in bed anymore.
* * *
Free Computer Desk
This computer desk might look nice
in your dorm room. It’s small —
square top, keyboard tray
and a tray by your feet. Black metal
except chrome-look handles
and the top, which is fake wood
and could use some cleaning. Cheap
to begin with but always well-loved.
* * *
Free from a Moving Family
You’ll find boys’ clothes,
gently used blankets,
a Radio Flyer sled and red wagon,
a couple hand puppets,
a few dolls and stuffed animals,
a baseball bat, a football,
a slightly chipped punch bowl,
two hamster cages with wheels,
two cozy cloth chairs,
four bags of charcoal briquettes,
several metal gas cans,
and some neighbors’ items, too.
Please do not take tables! Thank you.
* * *
Free Chairs
Furnish your basement with two
clean chairs, not so pretty
but plenty comfy. Vinyl recliner
still reclines smoothly, perfect
for napping or TV. Plush armchair
has two broken legs. I kept
blocks underneath and never noticed.
Blocks free, too, if you want them.
* * *
Free Good Stuff
I have to leave the state next week
so everything goes by Monday.
How about a four-drawer wooden dresser
painted pale green? It’s three feet tall or so,
good for kids or adults. There’s also
a little white cabinet with two drawers,
good for storage. I kept it by my computer
for disks, papers, pens. All drawers
open and close well. Repaint them,
make them pretty. Good stuff.
* * *
Free Mattress
I have a queen-sized mattress,
foam insides, with matching box spring.
The fabric has rips you won’t notice
under a sheet. It’s not new or anything
but it’s clean, it’s a bed and it’s free.
* * *
Free Video Games
Pre-rented with tiny scratches
but all still play. Grand Theft Auto,
Virtual Tennis, old Mario stuff
my brother threw away. Happy gaming!
I got these free and so can you —
pick them up near downtown.
* * *
Free Wedge of a Sectional
We’re upgrading to an actual couch
and won’t need this wedge of a sectional
we’ve been using for the past
five years. It’s like a loveseat
without arms. It’s sandy brown
with a pattern I’d call Southwestern.
It’s pretty comfortable for two people
so help us get it out of here.
* * *
Free Gas Grill
Gas grill with cover, not ready
for the landfill. It works, so we won’t
throw it away. Get a gas canister
and fire it up. It’s perfect as a back-up
for large parties. It works
but doesn’t heat totally evenly.
* * *
Free from My Basement
Framed world map, great for an office.
Stereo with working tape deck,
AM/FM radio, but CD can be touchy.
Area rug that needs a shampoo
but from a home without pets
or kids or smoke. Sears treadmill,
hardly been used. I don’t have pictures
but it’s all nice. Take what you want.
* * *
Free Large Window
Three-piece white vinyl window,
sliders on the sides. A fine looking window
is what I’d be saying if its middle pane
weren’t broken. But if you’re handy
one pane is a snap to replace.
* * *
Free Fencing
170 feet of chain link fence. Not sure
if each post is cemented in. At least some are.
I didn’t install it. Latching gates
to make your yard kid- or dog-proof.
Looks fairly new. Come dig it out.
You might wrestle a little with a vine
clinging to parts of it. No thorns, I promise.
* * *
Free Beach Gear
Collection of sand toys — shovel,
bucket, rake, and graduated molds.
New in the package. Good
to occupy the kids as you relax
in matching plastic chairs. Set of two
in yellow and blue. In need
of scrubbing but hardly used.
* * *
Free Firewood
Are you ready for winter?
We have an extra half cord
of cottonwood from last year,
roughly cut and very dry.
First person who can pick it all up
can have it. Needs splitting.
Burns great. We’ll help you load.
* * *
Note
A few of these poems appeared in The Onion Union and Pinstripe Fedora, and a few others appeared in Free, a (self-published) mini book from Teeny Tiny.
All of the poems in this collection borrow bits and pieces of text from ads which were posted in the “free” section of craigslist communities in various cities.
The cover image is a collage by Wendy Lee Lynds (http://badabling.blogspot.com)
Garage sale leftovers up for grabs
on the curb at 4525 Warner Ave —
two TVs, bright yellow high chair,
bag of toys with some Elmo
and Buzz Lightyear, knick knacks
for the bathroom and kitchen,
five tomato cages. Everything
used but usable. Free, so why not?
* * *
Free 1977 Ford Thunderbird
All or nothing. No parts picking.
Come and get it! Solid front end,
decent interior, nice doors and glass.
Straight body, except rear end
is crunched a little. No engine
or tranny. Must tow away.
No title, but have the registration.
Previous owner is deceased.
* * *
Free Wedding Cake Topper
Tiny cowboy groom and cowgirl bride.
Free to good home, hopefully
a couple planning to get married
but I’ll give it to anybody
who really wants it.
* * *
Free Bicycles
Three old bikes found in a shed.
Flat or missing tires and needing
serious cleaning. Vintage boys’ 3-speed,
all chrome with spots of rust,
probably late 60s. Women’s 10-speed
with basket on the back, could use
some TLC but looks pretty good.
Battered men’s 10-speed. The first two
are worth restoring. Must take all.
* * *
Free Pool Table
First person who shows up
for the pool table gets it. It does
have scratches in the wood
which should sand out easily.
Felt is like new. Balls and cues
not included. Don’t ask me —
I won’t hold this. You hurry,
you haul, and it’s yours.
* * *
Free Reading Pillow
I think they call these husbands.
I’m not certain, but this pillow
is comfortable and made of corduroy.
I paid forty dollars for it and now
I want you to take it. I never
have time to read in bed anymore.
* * *
Free Computer Desk
This computer desk might look nice
in your dorm room. It’s small —
square top, keyboard tray
and a tray by your feet. Black metal
except chrome-look handles
and the top, which is fake wood
and could use some cleaning. Cheap
to begin with but always well-loved.
* * *
Free from a Moving Family
You’ll find boys’ clothes,
gently used blankets,
a Radio Flyer sled and red wagon,
a couple hand puppets,
a few dolls and stuffed animals,
a baseball bat, a football,
a slightly chipped punch bowl,
two hamster cages with wheels,
two cozy cloth chairs,
four bags of charcoal briquettes,
several metal gas cans,
and some neighbors’ items, too.
Please do not take tables! Thank you.
* * *
Free Chairs
Furnish your basement with two
clean chairs, not so pretty
but plenty comfy. Vinyl recliner
still reclines smoothly, perfect
for napping or TV. Plush armchair
has two broken legs. I kept
blocks underneath and never noticed.
Blocks free, too, if you want them.
* * *
Free Good Stuff
I have to leave the state next week
so everything goes by Monday.
How about a four-drawer wooden dresser
painted pale green? It’s three feet tall or so,
good for kids or adults. There’s also
a little white cabinet with two drawers,
good for storage. I kept it by my computer
for disks, papers, pens. All drawers
open and close well. Repaint them,
make them pretty. Good stuff.
* * *
Free Mattress
I have a queen-sized mattress,
foam insides, with matching box spring.
The fabric has rips you won’t notice
under a sheet. It’s not new or anything
but it’s clean, it’s a bed and it’s free.
* * *
Free Video Games
Pre-rented with tiny scratches
but all still play. Grand Theft Auto,
Virtual Tennis, old Mario stuff
my brother threw away. Happy gaming!
I got these free and so can you —
pick them up near downtown.
* * *
Free Wedge of a Sectional
We’re upgrading to an actual couch
and won’t need this wedge of a sectional
we’ve been using for the past
five years. It’s like a loveseat
without arms. It’s sandy brown
with a pattern I’d call Southwestern.
It’s pretty comfortable for two people
so help us get it out of here.
* * *
Free Gas Grill
Gas grill with cover, not ready
for the landfill. It works, so we won’t
throw it away. Get a gas canister
and fire it up. It’s perfect as a back-up
for large parties. It works
but doesn’t heat totally evenly.
* * *
Free from My Basement
Framed world map, great for an office.
Stereo with working tape deck,
AM/FM radio, but CD can be touchy.
Area rug that needs a shampoo
but from a home without pets
or kids or smoke. Sears treadmill,
hardly been used. I don’t have pictures
but it’s all nice. Take what you want.
* * *
Free Large Window
Three-piece white vinyl window,
sliders on the sides. A fine looking window
is what I’d be saying if its middle pane
weren’t broken. But if you’re handy
one pane is a snap to replace.
* * *
Free Fencing
170 feet of chain link fence. Not sure
if each post is cemented in. At least some are.
I didn’t install it. Latching gates
to make your yard kid- or dog-proof.
Looks fairly new. Come dig it out.
You might wrestle a little with a vine
clinging to parts of it. No thorns, I promise.
* * *
Free Beach Gear
Collection of sand toys — shovel,
bucket, rake, and graduated molds.
New in the package. Good
to occupy the kids as you relax
in matching plastic chairs. Set of two
in yellow and blue. In need
of scrubbing but hardly used.
* * *
Free Firewood
Are you ready for winter?
We have an extra half cord
of cottonwood from last year,
roughly cut and very dry.
First person who can pick it all up
can have it. Needs splitting.
Burns great. We’ll help you load.
* * *
Note
A few of these poems appeared in The Onion Union and Pinstripe Fedora, and a few others appeared in Free, a (self-published) mini book from Teeny Tiny.
All of the poems in this collection borrow bits and pieces of text from ads which were posted in the “free” section of craigslist communities in various cities.
The cover image is a collage by Wendy Lee Lynds (http://badabling.blogspot.com)
Displaying 1 - 1 of 1 review