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Born Confused #1
Born Confused
Dimple Lala doesn't know what to think. Her parents are from India, and she's spent her whole life resisting their traditions. Then suddenly she gets to high school and everything Indian is trendy. To make matters worse, her parents arrange for her to meet a "suitable boy." Of course it doesn't go well -- until Dimple goes to a club and finds him spinning a magical web . Suddenly the suitable boy is suitable because of his sheer unsuitability. Complications ensue. This is a funny, thoughtful story about finding your heart, finding your culture, and finding your place in America.
512 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2002
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About the author
Tanuja Desai Hidier
9 books132 followersTANUJA DESAI HIDIER is an award-winning author/singer-songwriter and innovator of the ‘booktrack’. She is the recipient of the 2015 South Asia Book Award, the James Jones First Novel Fellowship, the London Writers/Waterstones Award, and the APALA Children and YA Honor Award, and her short stories have been included in numerous anthologies.
Her pioneering debut BORN CONFUSED — the first South Asian American YA novel — was named an American Library Association Best Book for Young Adults and became a landmark work, hailed by Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone Magazine, and Paste Magazine as one of the greatest YA novels of all time on lists including such classics as To Kill A Mockingbird, The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women, Harry Potter, and Huckleberry Finn. The novel has been translated into various languages.
Tanuja’s crossover/adult novel/sequel BOMBAY BLUES is recipient of the South Asia Book Award. It launched at the National Book Festival in Washington, DC, and the Zee/Jaipur Literature Festival in India (along with her accompanying album) and was deemed “a journey worth making” in a starred Kirkus review, “an immersive blend of introspection, external drama, and lyricism” by Publishers Weekly, “teeming with energy and music…a chronicle of Bombay cool” by The Hindustan Times, and “Chock-a-block with musical references as well as linguistic leaps of faith that only a musician could have pulled off” by The Sunday Guardian (cover story).
WHEN WE WERE TWINS, Tanuja’ album of original songs based on Born Confused, was featured in Wired Magazine and at Creative Artists Agency for being the first-ever “booktrack.”
The music video for ode-to-Bombay “HEPTANESIA”, from Tanuja’s Bombay Blues ‘booktrack’ album BOMBAY SPLEEN, was a BuzzPick on rotation at MTV Indies. Track “Seek Me In The Strange” was selected for the soundtrack of feature film Other People’s Children, and “Deep Blue She” for the #VogueEmpower playlist (Vogue India’s social awareness initiative for women).
Tanuja recently produced the DEEP BLUE SHE #Mutiny2Unity #MeToo music video/remix/PSA: a grassroots women’s/LGBTQI/human rights and racial/gender equality project featuring 100+ artist/activists, with all artist proceeds to charity. Outlook Magazine calls the project “The ‘We Are The World’ of our times, with a desi edge.” More info on the participants and how to dive in (all artist proceeds to charity) here.
Her pioneering debut BORN CONFUSED — the first South Asian American YA novel — was named an American Library Association Best Book for Young Adults and became a landmark work, hailed by Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone Magazine, and Paste Magazine as one of the greatest YA novels of all time on lists including such classics as To Kill A Mockingbird, The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women, Harry Potter, and Huckleberry Finn. The novel has been translated into various languages.
Tanuja’s crossover/adult novel/sequel BOMBAY BLUES is recipient of the South Asia Book Award. It launched at the National Book Festival in Washington, DC, and the Zee/Jaipur Literature Festival in India (along with her accompanying album) and was deemed “a journey worth making” in a starred Kirkus review, “an immersive blend of introspection, external drama, and lyricism” by Publishers Weekly, “teeming with energy and music…a chronicle of Bombay cool” by The Hindustan Times, and “Chock-a-block with musical references as well as linguistic leaps of faith that only a musician could have pulled off” by The Sunday Guardian (cover story).
WHEN WE WERE TWINS, Tanuja’ album of original songs based on Born Confused, was featured in Wired Magazine and at Creative Artists Agency for being the first-ever “booktrack.”
The music video for ode-to-Bombay “HEPTANESIA”, from Tanuja’s Bombay Blues ‘booktrack’ album BOMBAY SPLEEN, was a BuzzPick on rotation at MTV Indies. Track “Seek Me In The Strange” was selected for the soundtrack of feature film Other People’s Children, and “Deep Blue She” for the #VogueEmpower playlist (Vogue India’s social awareness initiative for women).
Tanuja recently produced the DEEP BLUE SHE #Mutiny2Unity #MeToo music video/remix/PSA: a grassroots women’s/LGBTQI/human rights and racial/gender equality project featuring 100+ artist/activists, with all artist proceeds to charity. Outlook Magazine calls the project “The ‘We Are The World’ of our times, with a desi edge.” More info on the participants and how to dive in (all artist proceeds to charity) here.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 500 reviews
September 11, 2007
This book is a rare treat, in that it presents the life of a typical American teenager with an atypical life, is honest, but doesn't stoop to cliches and stereotypes to tell its tale. This is the story of Dimple Lala, a young woman, born and raised in New Jersey of Indian immigrant parents, who is turning 17 at the beginning of summer. Dimple rejects her parents old-world culture and wants to be an All-American girl, but everyone else sees her as Indian. For her parents, Dimple getting drunk once while out with friends on her birthday is cause for a silent treatment and punishment of international proportions. In one of my favorite lines from the book, Dimple's mother says, "Giving birth to you was easy. It is now that I am needing the epidural!"
Dimple, in comparison to her childhood friend, Gwyn, is positively a model child: a good student, a virgin who has only dated two boys, she doesn't do drugs or do anything out of the ordinary to cause her parents to worry. It turns out that both Dimple and her parents are failing to realize what they have: a caring, lovely family unit and a strong cultural background in Dimple's case, and a very good daughter, in the case of her parents. Dimple's friend, Gwyn, is beautiful and blonde and slim and the center of attention, but she comes from a home where she was abandoned by her father and ignored by her mother, and she craves the stability of Dimple's family unit, which, of course, Dimple does not understand, since she longs to be beautiful and blonde and free of parental restrictions.
Dimple's parents seek to control their daughter by introducing her to a "suitable boy" meaning, of course, another Indian boy, an NYU computer major, and the son of her mother's best friend. Dimple rejects the boy on principal, but then discovers that he is a slightly unsuitable boy, and begins to fall in love with him, along with her friend, Gwyn. Dimple spends the bulk of the novel discovering herself and her life, and realizing that what she has is really a gift. She is exposed to the temptations of teenaged life, she has her heart broken and she rebels against her parents, but it takes a long summer for her to see that everything she has really is something to be envied.
The book is written in a charming, witty style, and, except for a few sort of "romance novel" plot twists, it is very engrossing. It is perfect for both adults and teens, and really should be read by parents and their teenagers.
Dimple, in comparison to her childhood friend, Gwyn, is positively a model child: a good student, a virgin who has only dated two boys, she doesn't do drugs or do anything out of the ordinary to cause her parents to worry. It turns out that both Dimple and her parents are failing to realize what they have: a caring, lovely family unit and a strong cultural background in Dimple's case, and a very good daughter, in the case of her parents. Dimple's friend, Gwyn, is beautiful and blonde and slim and the center of attention, but she comes from a home where she was abandoned by her father and ignored by her mother, and she craves the stability of Dimple's family unit, which, of course, Dimple does not understand, since she longs to be beautiful and blonde and free of parental restrictions.
Dimple's parents seek to control their daughter by introducing her to a "suitable boy" meaning, of course, another Indian boy, an NYU computer major, and the son of her mother's best friend. Dimple rejects the boy on principal, but then discovers that he is a slightly unsuitable boy, and begins to fall in love with him, along with her friend, Gwyn. Dimple spends the bulk of the novel discovering herself and her life, and realizing that what she has is really a gift. She is exposed to the temptations of teenaged life, she has her heart broken and she rebels against her parents, but it takes a long summer for her to see that everything she has really is something to be envied.
The book is written in a charming, witty style, and, except for a few sort of "romance novel" plot twists, it is very engrossing. It is perfect for both adults and teens, and really should be read by parents and their teenagers.
August 4, 2010
I really, really, really wanted to like this book. And, in some ways, I really did. In fact, though I had been trudging through its 500 pages for days and days, when I finally finished it late last night, I found myself feeling melancholy that it was actually over. It was a bittersweet farewell--almost like breaking up with someone you were like, sooooo totally into initally, but who quickly (as soon as the rush of pink to your cheeks wore away) began to bore you with all their incessant monologuing. When you finally call it quits, you feel that pang of sentimentality, thinking, "Huh, maybe it wasn't so bad afterall," or maybe, "Oh, now I remember what I saw in you to begin with, and I'm actually kind of going to miss the way you don't ever wear shoes and scrunch up your nose when you're thinking really hard."
So that's how I'm feeling now; I'm going to miss Dimple a little, and her parents and Kavita extra, but probably not Gwyn or Karsh or Radha or anyone else, because they were pretty lackluster. And I'm going to miss reading a book about South Asian characters, but I'm not going to miss all the labored and clumsy explanations of all-things-South-Asian. And I don't believe that I was annoyed by Hidier's lengthy explications (in pseudo-flowering prose) about the texture of jalebi and the origins of bhangra, etc. because I already know what these things are, but because I feel that Hidier is perhaps trying a bit too hard to make these things completely known to every single reader--she over-explains and over-describes and I find my eyes wandering and my mind lost in the paragraph-long, multi-claused sentence about the texture of jalebi, and then the taste of gulab jamaan, and then the aroma of kheer. (And yes, I do realize the length of that last sentence.) It feels a bit too heavy handed. And that's not to say I don't appreciate the enormity of the task that Hidier had before her, with BC being posited as the "first South Asian coming of age novel," but just that it didn't have to take it upon itself to sooooo self-conciously enlighten its readers.
So, not a messy, drawn-out, desperate break-up, but a vaguely sad one; one that leaves you looking for scrunched-up-noses on people you see for the next few days, and wondering why everyone is wearing shoes.
So that's how I'm feeling now; I'm going to miss Dimple a little, and her parents and Kavita extra, but probably not Gwyn or Karsh or Radha or anyone else, because they were pretty lackluster. And I'm going to miss reading a book about South Asian characters, but I'm not going to miss all the labored and clumsy explanations of all-things-South-Asian. And I don't believe that I was annoyed by Hidier's lengthy explications (in pseudo-flowering prose) about the texture of jalebi and the origins of bhangra, etc. because I already know what these things are, but because I feel that Hidier is perhaps trying a bit too hard to make these things completely known to every single reader--she over-explains and over-describes and I find my eyes wandering and my mind lost in the paragraph-long, multi-claused sentence about the texture of jalebi, and then the taste of gulab jamaan, and then the aroma of kheer. (And yes, I do realize the length of that last sentence.) It feels a bit too heavy handed. And that's not to say I don't appreciate the enormity of the task that Hidier had before her, with BC being posited as the "first South Asian coming of age novel," but just that it didn't have to take it upon itself to sooooo self-conciously enlighten its readers.
So, not a messy, drawn-out, desperate break-up, but a vaguely sad one; one that leaves you looking for scrunched-up-noses on people you see for the next few days, and wondering why everyone is wearing shoes.
October 31, 2007
So many aspects of this book were excellent. The main character, Dimple, is wonderful and well-drawn. Her parents are so adorable and honestly portrayed, you want to put them in your pocket. The "Indian thing" is handled with grace; it's an actual exploration of what it means to belong to an ethnicity outside of its place of origin rather than a trite "I feel weird, people look different than me" sort of story. I thought Gwen was a hateful, awful person, but she was interesting and held my attention. Karsh was perhaps a bit too dreamy, but if you read it as if you are experiencing him through Dimple's eyes then maybe it's dead-on.
My only gripes are that reading this book often felt like trudging through molasses. There is no way the reading level is YA, even though that is the supposed target audience. The syntax is complicated and sometimes downright convoluted. I thought the writing was thought-provoking and stimulating, and I'm in grad school. I can only imagine a slightly under average 14-year-old attempting this one. Some of the writing is just over the top, too. The pages are littered with unusual metaphors, literary devices, tongue-in-cheek pop culture references, and cliche knockoffs. Sometimes it's interesting and adds to the story, but often it's distracting and would likely confuse younger readers. Also, I dislike when authors feel they are too cool for quote marks/inverted commas/whatever you want to call the things that contain dialogue. Dashes just don't cut it with me.
Still, a really interesting book with likable characters and a cool look inside a fascinating culture.
My only gripes are that reading this book often felt like trudging through molasses. There is no way the reading level is YA, even though that is the supposed target audience. The syntax is complicated and sometimes downright convoluted. I thought the writing was thought-provoking and stimulating, and I'm in grad school. I can only imagine a slightly under average 14-year-old attempting this one. Some of the writing is just over the top, too. The pages are littered with unusual metaphors, literary devices, tongue-in-cheek pop culture references, and cliche knockoffs. Sometimes it's interesting and adds to the story, but often it's distracting and would likely confuse younger readers. Also, I dislike when authors feel they are too cool for quote marks/inverted commas/whatever you want to call the things that contain dialogue. Dashes just don't cut it with me.
Still, a really interesting book with likable characters and a cool look inside a fascinating culture.
January 20, 2013
I adored this book. It started a little rough for me, Hidier's exuberant restretching unforming rebubbling of the language was abrupt. But once I dove in, let the words into my ear, let them bounce and scintillate and dance, then I was wholly present. Straightforward, age-old plot made very fresh here. Everyone in this book does some growing in very believable, sometimes painful ways. I loved the glimpse into both the Indian culture of Dimple's parents, and the hybrid dynamic culture of Dimple's peers. My heart ached for some of the kids I met herein, they were all very real people doing the best they can.
April 24, 2020
This book was a little bit angsty for me. But that's because, as a POC it's hard to watch the character in the story having a white best friend who most def doesnt understand the position of someone of color, who might feel inadequate in a world made to cater to white people.
In this case Dimple, who is Indian, feels out of place and inferior. Especially to her best friend who is white.
But the most irking thing is, somehow Dimple's best friend blames her for everything. Complaining about how she feels inadequate or whatever, and it's just like... you feel inadequate in a world full of different ways to tell you you are adequate? Such BS.
I don't feel like Dimple really got to tell off her friend, who clearly was trynna take everything away, whether it was done consciously or not.
I would go into more detail about why this book was angsty, or certain scenes where it was just so hard to read, but it would be too much. I don't wanna go that deep.
Hopefully this is a coherent enough review.
Though this book had my heart squeezed for a long period of segments, I will be reading the sequel, Bombay Blues.
In this case Dimple, who is Indian, feels out of place and inferior. Especially to her best friend who is white.
But the most irking thing is, somehow Dimple's best friend blames her for everything. Complaining about how she feels inadequate or whatever, and it's just like... you feel inadequate in a world full of different ways to tell you you are adequate? Such BS.
I don't feel like Dimple really got to tell off her friend, who clearly was trynna take everything away, whether it was done consciously or not.
I would go into more detail about why this book was angsty, or certain scenes where it was just so hard to read, but it would be too much. I don't wanna go that deep.
Hopefully this is a coherent enough review.
Though this book had my heart squeezed for a long period of segments, I will be reading the sequel, Bombay Blues.
August 5, 2014
this book is so good that kaavya viswanathan lifted entire passages of it for her book "how opal mehta got kissed, got wild, and got a life," and when i read the latter i actually recognized where they were from.
first read: april 2007
second read (in anticipation of the sequel!!): august 2014
this book is just as good, maybe even better, the second time around. i love desai hidier's style and how easy it is to get caught up in. found myself yellling "frock!" instead of my usual f-bomb the other day when i stubbed my toe. super excited for bombay blues!
first read: april 2007
second read (in anticipation of the sequel!!): august 2014
this book is just as good, maybe even better, the second time around. i love desai hidier's style and how easy it is to get caught up in. found myself yellling "frock!" instead of my usual f-bomb the other day when i stubbed my toe. super excited for bombay blues!
June 5, 2017
This is a knock-out coming of age YA novel about identity, belonging, friendship, and romance. It's the story of Dimple finding out who she is as a person, discovering what her passions are, (re)connecting with her culture and family, reimagining an old friendship, and falling in love for the first time. There's a lot in here about feeling stuck between cultures: too Indian to really be American, and too American to really be Indian.
I loved the characterization and I loved the writing. I thought Hidier did a great job at having the voice feel very teenagery but also write beautiful descriptions. Her writing is both profound and very funny as she details Dimple's journey. I especially loved the mom's dialogue (so funny) and how photography and music were described. The scene where Dimple smokes pot for the first time and the narrative is following the funny directions her mind was going was also spot-on and hilarious. That scene, and actually most of the hangout scenes with the teenagers, really put me back in the mindset of being a teenager, which has honestly only happened to me a very few times reading YA.
Dimple's cousin Kavita, who is a secondary but important character is one of the first (first?) South Asian queer characters in YA. She was one of a few family members, including both Dimple's parents, that Dimples gets to know all over again as individuals separate from her preconceptions. Dimple slowly starts to see her parents as real people, and not just her parents, learning about their lives in India before they moved to the US. Kavita becomes more than Dimple's annoying Indian cousin who called her "cowgirl" because she lived in the States and becomes a good friend who knows what it's like to be in between
I wasn't sure about Dimple's BFF Gwyn who annoyed the crap out of me for most of the novel, meaning that her redemption at the end fell a little flat (or more like, I wasn't really invested in Dimple repairing her relationship with her and so when it happened, I was like, meh). I felt like I was supposed to feel sympathetic to her--especially after her WASPy parents-ignore-her home life was really explained. But I dunno, maybe I've just seen the rich white girl whose parents are divorced and don't care about her and who is amazingly beautiful and charismatic but is actually lonely story too many times by now. But she was awful for so much of the book! I get that she's searching for belonging just like Dimple is, but she did that through: a) ditching and ignoring Dimple more than once throughout the course of the book for a boyfriend / boy she liked: b) appropriating Indian cultural stuff over and over and arguing with people who tell her to think about why she thinks this stuff is open to her, and c) generally being very selfish and clueless about Dimple's feelings, down from small things like eating all of Dimple's pile of kinda burnt fries, which are her favourite and that she's meticulously picked out of the pile of regular fries to big things like not realizing Dimple obviously likes Karsh. What kind of BFF is she!
Okay, all this to say I loved this book!! It's a prime example of the genre and something for YA writers to aspire to. Which is especially a big deal considering this is a debut novel.
I loved the characterization and I loved the writing. I thought Hidier did a great job at having the voice feel very teenagery but also write beautiful descriptions. Her writing is both profound and very funny as she details Dimple's journey. I especially loved the mom's dialogue (so funny) and how photography and music were described. The scene where Dimple smokes pot for the first time and the narrative is following the funny directions her mind was going was also spot-on and hilarious. That scene, and actually most of the hangout scenes with the teenagers, really put me back in the mindset of being a teenager, which has honestly only happened to me a very few times reading YA.
Dimple's cousin Kavita, who is a secondary but important character is one of the first (first?) South Asian queer characters in YA. She was one of a few family members, including both Dimple's parents, that Dimples gets to know all over again as individuals separate from her preconceptions. Dimple slowly starts to see her parents as real people, and not just her parents, learning about their lives in India before they moved to the US. Kavita becomes more than Dimple's annoying Indian cousin who called her "cowgirl" because she lived in the States and becomes a good friend who knows what it's like to be in between
I wasn't sure about Dimple's BFF Gwyn who annoyed the crap out of me for most of the novel, meaning that her redemption at the end fell a little flat (or more like, I wasn't really invested in Dimple repairing her relationship with her and so when it happened, I was like, meh). I felt like I was supposed to feel sympathetic to her--especially after her WASPy parents-ignore-her home life was really explained. But I dunno, maybe I've just seen the rich white girl whose parents are divorced and don't care about her and who is amazingly beautiful and charismatic but is actually lonely story too many times by now. But she was awful for so much of the book! I get that she's searching for belonging just like Dimple is, but she did that through: a) ditching and ignoring Dimple more than once throughout the course of the book for a boyfriend / boy she liked: b) appropriating Indian cultural stuff over and over and arguing with people who tell her to think about why she thinks this stuff is open to her, and c) generally being very selfish and clueless about Dimple's feelings, down from small things like eating all of Dimple's pile of kinda burnt fries, which are her favourite and that she's meticulously picked out of the pile of regular fries to big things like not realizing Dimple obviously likes Karsh. What kind of BFF is she!
Okay, all this to say I loved this book!! It's a prime example of the genre and something for YA writers to aspire to. Which is especially a big deal considering this is a debut novel.
May 6, 2014
I loved the idea of this book, but I really disliked the execution. Dimple Lala is an American born South Asian who can't decide where she fits in. She doesn't embrace her Indian culture, but she also can't fit in mainstream American culture. The main idea of this book is supposed to be Dimple's journey to self-discovery and understanding of her culture. A great idea, but it goes horribly wrong.
My first problem is that Dimple seems to ignore the best parts of her culture and embrace the worst parts of American culture. She gets drunk, smokes weed, lies to her parents--feeling guilty, but never having the backbone to do what she knows is right. She scorns the culture her parents present to her and only recognizes its value when her best friend Gwyn tries to 'become' South Asian herself. Gwyn is a hateful and selfish character. There is room to pity her, but she destroys any pity through insensitive actions.
My other disappointment is that all the descriptions of South Asian culture focus on the fringe aspects. There is one point when Dimple is reading about Indian history and religion, but none of that detail is shared. In contrast, there is much more detail about lesbianism and transvestites--not confined to that culture and certainly not a majority.
My final complaint is more technical. Rather than use quotation marks, Hidier shows dialogues with dashes. It may have been my advanced reader copy, but it was very distracting and often made it difficult to tell who was speaking. It made the characters seem stilted and kept the writing from flowing. Overall, I would love this plot idea done in an entirely different way.
My first problem is that Dimple seems to ignore the best parts of her culture and embrace the worst parts of American culture. She gets drunk, smokes weed, lies to her parents--feeling guilty, but never having the backbone to do what she knows is right. She scorns the culture her parents present to her and only recognizes its value when her best friend Gwyn tries to 'become' South Asian herself. Gwyn is a hateful and selfish character. There is room to pity her, but she destroys any pity through insensitive actions.
My other disappointment is that all the descriptions of South Asian culture focus on the fringe aspects. There is one point when Dimple is reading about Indian history and religion, but none of that detail is shared. In contrast, there is much more detail about lesbianism and transvestites--not confined to that culture and certainly not a majority.
My final complaint is more technical. Rather than use quotation marks, Hidier shows dialogues with dashes. It may have been my advanced reader copy, but it was very distracting and often made it difficult to tell who was speaking. It made the characters seem stilted and kept the writing from flowing. Overall, I would love this plot idea done in an entirely different way.
January 26, 2018
After finishing this audiobook (which was 14 hours long), I realized that I'll miss the characters in this book. This book was certainly wasn't perfect but wow, Born Confused is undeniably special.
- This book explores a variety of themes - family, friendship, love, arranged marriages, cultural identity, alienation from her Indian heritage, following your dreams, and growing up - all which are explored very thoroughly and with nuance.
- Loved how the narrative grew with Dimple; how her perceptions and presumptions change as she learns more about her identity and that she can be proud of it.
- Features a complex friendship with her best friend, Gwyn, who is white and does try to appropriate Dimple's culture.
- The romance was sweet but a little lacking in dimension and depth.
- Lastly, it was long. Positive: everything was thoroughly developed and made the narrative multifaceted and complex. Negative: it does feel like it drags a little bit.
- This book explores a variety of themes - family, friendship, love, arranged marriages, cultural identity, alienation from her Indian heritage, following your dreams, and growing up - all which are explored very thoroughly and with nuance.
- Loved how the narrative grew with Dimple; how her perceptions and presumptions change as she learns more about her identity and that she can be proud of it.
- Features a complex friendship with her best friend, Gwyn, who is white and does try to appropriate Dimple's culture.
- The romance was sweet but a little lacking in dimension and depth.
- Lastly, it was long. Positive: everything was thoroughly developed and made the narrative multifaceted and complex. Negative: it does feel like it drags a little bit.
May 13, 2010
This book is about an teenage girl whose parents immigrated to the U.S. from India. The girl wants to fit in with her American teenage friends but is constantly reminded of her Indian heritage by the color of her skin and her parents who maintain their Indian customs.
While I generally enjoy this genre of novel (Indian culture meets America), I found this book very tiresome to read. The dialogue didn't sound natural and for my taste there was way too much descriptive prose and not enough action. The story line was quite predictable, in my opinion. I found myself longing to get to the end so I could start reading something else (hate to put down a book without finishing it). I enjoyed reading aboutall things Indian but was bored with the writing. Not my favorite shall we say.
While I generally enjoy this genre of novel (Indian culture meets America), I found this book very tiresome to read. The dialogue didn't sound natural and for my taste there was way too much descriptive prose and not enough action. The story line was quite predictable, in my opinion. I found myself longing to get to the end so I could start reading something else (hate to put down a book without finishing it). I enjoyed reading aboutall things Indian but was bored with the writing. Not my favorite shall we say.
February 10, 2010
I'm torn as to how I feel about this book. First off, please read Briynne's reviews of this book on here. She does a great job of expressing some of my thoughts about the book.
When I first picked this up, I got into it and enjoyed reading it but maybe about 1/3 of the way through the story just felt incredibly drawn out. I can understand Dimple's identity crisis and teenage angst regarding, well, being a teenager and also being an Asian American teenager, but most of the time I wanted to shake Dimple by the shoulders and tell her to wake up, get a backbone, and get rid of Gwyn. I also just wanted to tell Gwyn to stop acting like an idiot, and, well, I want her out of the story. The "poor little beautiful rich girl whose parents ignore her, is desperate for attention, and is really just a troubled soul underneath all that conniving, manipulating, and snobbery" is pretty overdone in literature. Normally you'd think that if a character gets under your skin so much, the author has done a great job, but in this case, I beg to differ. I mostly just wanted to roll my eyes and got annoyed at the author for creating Gwyn's character. I agree with other reviewers who say the writing is a tad bit overdone at time and, yes, it feels like a hipster wrote the book. If I could, I would give the book 2.5 stars, but I'm feeling generous today and will give it 3.
When I first picked this up, I got into it and enjoyed reading it but maybe about 1/3 of the way through the story just felt incredibly drawn out. I can understand Dimple's identity crisis and teenage angst regarding, well, being a teenager and also being an Asian American teenager, but most of the time I wanted to shake Dimple by the shoulders and tell her to wake up, get a backbone, and get rid of Gwyn. I also just wanted to tell Gwyn to stop acting like an idiot, and, well, I want her out of the story. The "poor little beautiful rich girl whose parents ignore her, is desperate for attention, and is really just a troubled soul underneath all that conniving, manipulating, and snobbery" is pretty overdone in literature. Normally you'd think that if a character gets under your skin so much, the author has done a great job, but in this case, I beg to differ. I mostly just wanted to roll my eyes and got annoyed at the author for creating Gwyn's character. I agree with other reviewers who say the writing is a tad bit overdone at time and, yes, it feels like a hipster wrote the book. If I could, I would give the book 2.5 stars, but I'm feeling generous today and will give it 3.
November 18, 2015
It is not just the fact that I identified so closely with this book that made me like it so much. Or maybe it is. Maybe the fact that the book so blithely talked about something that was close to my own reality that made me prize it above others. Or maybe it’s because Dimple is a well drawn character, who is so very dynamic in emotional growth throughout the novel. Or her juxtaposition with the best friend who is in search for a culture and finds one, the very one that Dimple is so determined to throw away. Or maybe it’s the parents – my parents who have provoked many an eye roll for their deference to the ‘old ways’ and their refusal to move on and get with it. Or perhaps it is just the sheer mastery of her prose, her compelling plot, all of which contain elements that will make you love Born Confused whether or not you identify with the heroine. I recommend it to anyone who has felt a little lost while trying to hang on to what they have while trying to catch a hold of what they could have before realizing that you have to let something go before you can have something else. Yes, I know, convoluted sentence but you get what I mean.
August 28, 2016
Maybe this is a YA book that you really need to be YA to read. Only read for a book club. Don't recommend.
June 15, 2024
i vividly remember reading this book as a middle schooler, sitting in the establishment where my mom got her hair cut, waiting for her and eating gummy oranges and learning what drag queens were. this is kind of the most i remembered before rereading. and the thing is that i'm not much for YA novels anymore; i mostly like long convoluted stories about terrible people, and YA novels are (reasonably!) often not that. but holy shit, am i glad i came back to this one. what a stunning accomplishment of a coming-of-age story--and it's not like the pressure was off, either; this has been dubbed the "first south-asian american YA novel;" it was written in 2002; this was a big deal.
and deservedly so! this book is 500 pages and--i will be frank--sometimes drags. but those 500 pages also give such a vivid, beautiful, hilarious picture of dimple lala, who is one of those characters i feel like i could call up and talk to. tanuja desai hidier's prose purples sometimes, but most of the time it's unbelievably lush and fresh for a contemporary; i love how she puts words together. maybe the reason this book works so well for me at twenty-one is because it's so much longer and denser and more complex than most YA novels; it bursts with too-muchness. (also, perhaps, because the characters are in high school but not in high school, as it's summer vacation. idgaf about high school anymore so this was a W for me). 4 stars because of the aforementioned dragging and the sometimes-overwrought prose, but this book is dope as hell
assorted notes:
- shockingly undated for a book that came out in 2002! all of the LGBT characters (no spoilers) are given a great deal of depth and understanding and serve as more than just fodder for dimple's story (a big part of dimple's story is recognizing the complexity of as more than just a foil to dimple's life. i am not gonna lie: there is at least one transmisogynistic line in here (dimple thinking of the hijras she's met as looming and creepy and tackily-dressed is, uh. a moment for sure). but the major hijra/drag queen character (the two terms used for her; i'm using she/her here because that's what she gets most of the time) herself, , is portrayed explicitly as gorgeous and intelligent and worthy of respect. the beauty of the photoshoot scene, and the image of her running across the field with her shoes and silks sliding off, has stuck with me since i was twelve.
- i am not the person to comment on the way this book handles culture and assimilation, but desai hidier is clearly trying to encapsulate the vast number of perspectives on what it means to be south-asian-american and what's best for the community--cultural outreach? cultural defensiveness? how do tradition and innovation mix? is it possible to be "indian enough," or "american enough?" arguably, one could read a SJW stereotype into the stick-up-her-ass lesbian leftist, who i think is the only character to outright discuss colonialism, but as much as i don't love that, i think it could be worse. it's not sabina's ideas mocked so much as her conviction that she's right about everything, when so much of this book is about the fact that there IS no right way to be desi (or gay, or alive).
- i want to bite gwyn. not in a sexy way. i am aware i may be reading my own life a bit too hard into "friend who constantly neglects and steamrolls over her so-called bestie and then acts like they're equally at fault," and i think desai hidier does a fantastic job of making gwyn understandable and sympathetic and very, very human, as all of these characters are. i also still think she owes dimple about five to ten more apologies. you can't be saying all that white baby
- i love a book that's like "your parents are indeed people who are just as flawed and confused as you are and also they had lives before you," and i think part of the reason this book succeeds so well is because dimple's parents are never one-dimensionally either Evil Tyrannical Nags or Perfect Telepathic Paragons of Parenting, nor are they one-dimensionally either "traditionally indian" or fully assimilated. the way that scene between dimple and her dad almost had me bawling at work. fuck offfffff
- can't believe this had me shipping a straight couple. karsh is maybe a little too perfect, but then again, we're in dimple's POV; the glasses are rose-colored. and he's charming! it's a very realistically awkward, emotionally-muddled teen romance, and desai hidier pulls off the difficult task of making (most of) the miscommunication understandable on a character level rather than a clear plot contrivance.
- the fact that this book (almost) ends in a bollywood dance is so great. outsold
and deservedly so! this book is 500 pages and--i will be frank--sometimes drags. but those 500 pages also give such a vivid, beautiful, hilarious picture of dimple lala, who is one of those characters i feel like i could call up and talk to. tanuja desai hidier's prose purples sometimes, but most of the time it's unbelievably lush and fresh for a contemporary; i love how she puts words together. maybe the reason this book works so well for me at twenty-one is because it's so much longer and denser and more complex than most YA novels; it bursts with too-muchness. (also, perhaps, because the characters are in high school but not in high school, as it's summer vacation. idgaf about high school anymore so this was a W for me). 4 stars because of the aforementioned dragging and the sometimes-overwrought prose, but this book is dope as hell
assorted notes:
- shockingly undated for a book that came out in 2002! all of the LGBT characters (no spoilers) are given a great deal of depth and understanding and serve as more than just fodder for dimple's story (a big part of dimple's story is recognizing the complexity of as more than just a foil to dimple's life. i am not gonna lie: there is at least one transmisogynistic line in here (dimple thinking of the hijras she's met as looming and creepy and tackily-dressed is, uh. a moment for sure). but the major hijra/drag queen character (the two terms used for her; i'm using she/her here because that's what she gets most of the time) herself, , is portrayed explicitly as gorgeous and intelligent and worthy of respect. the beauty of the photoshoot scene, and the image of her running across the field with her shoes and silks sliding off, has stuck with me since i was twelve.
- i am not the person to comment on the way this book handles culture and assimilation, but desai hidier is clearly trying to encapsulate the vast number of perspectives on what it means to be south-asian-american and what's best for the community--cultural outreach? cultural defensiveness? how do tradition and innovation mix? is it possible to be "indian enough," or "american enough?" arguably, one could read a SJW stereotype into the stick-up-her-ass lesbian leftist, who i think is the only character to outright discuss colonialism, but as much as i don't love that, i think it could be worse. it's not sabina's ideas mocked so much as her conviction that she's right about everything, when so much of this book is about the fact that there IS no right way to be desi (or gay, or alive).
- i want to bite gwyn. not in a sexy way. i am aware i may be reading my own life a bit too hard into "friend who constantly neglects and steamrolls over her so-called bestie and then acts like they're equally at fault," and i think desai hidier does a fantastic job of making gwyn understandable and sympathetic and very, very human, as all of these characters are. i also still think she owes dimple about five to ten more apologies. you can't be saying all that white baby
- i love a book that's like "your parents are indeed people who are just as flawed and confused as you are and also they had lives before you," and i think part of the reason this book succeeds so well is because dimple's parents are never one-dimensionally either Evil Tyrannical Nags or Perfect Telepathic Paragons of Parenting, nor are they one-dimensionally either "traditionally indian" or fully assimilated. the way that scene between dimple and her dad almost had me bawling at work. fuck offfffff
- can't believe this had me shipping a straight couple. karsh is maybe a little too perfect, but then again, we're in dimple's POV; the glasses are rose-colored. and he's charming! it's a very realistically awkward, emotionally-muddled teen romance, and desai hidier pulls off the difficult task of making (most of) the miscommunication understandable on a character level rather than a clear plot contrivance.
- the fact that this book (almost) ends in a bollywood dance is so great. outsold
May 29, 2009
It's only been a few years since I bought this book, and my copy's already been reread about four times. Let me put this in perspective: I rarely reread books. Once every three years is the maximum. But I cannot get enough of this book. The characters are realistic and compelling, with their own loves, histories and compulsions. Love is never simple in books, but Tanuja Desai Hidier reaches into your soul and makes you feel every emotion acutely.
2nd Review (5/29/09):
I just reread "Born Confused" again. Summer tends to put me in the mood for this book. First of all, it remains as good as when I first picked it up. Now that I'm older, I think I can say that this book informed my high school years as Gary Paulsen's "The Island" informed my elementary school ones. Dimple's voice is that of someone who feels like an outsider, yet always looks at the world with awe - something I've always aspired to do. The search for identity and belonging, the need to grow, confusion about love and friendship... it's all here. And though I no longer feel lost or confused, this book still reminds me of who I wanted - and still want - to be.
2nd Review (5/29/09):
I just reread "Born Confused" again. Summer tends to put me in the mood for this book. First of all, it remains as good as when I first picked it up. Now that I'm older, I think I can say that this book informed my high school years as Gary Paulsen's "The Island" informed my elementary school ones. Dimple's voice is that of someone who feels like an outsider, yet always looks at the world with awe - something I've always aspired to do. The search for identity and belonging, the need to grow, confusion about love and friendship... it's all here. And though I no longer feel lost or confused, this book still reminds me of who I wanted - and still want - to be.
April 6, 2010
There's something about this book.
I first read it in eight grade, and when I did, I didn't like it. I am not entirely sure why. Maybe it was the format or the style. I doubt it had to do with the characters or the plot-line. Either way, I didn't like it. But once I finished it, it stuck with me. Some conversation would remind me of it, or such. It has stuck with me for the past three years.
So, since it was so unforgettable, I decided to give it another go.
This time I liked it a lot, but it wasn't incredible, or mind blowing, or cathartic. The characters were engaging, certainly, and sympathetic, but not astounding. The plot was kind of average, from the beginning you can guess what is going to happen. The writing was pleasant, but not particularly new or different.
So, I don't really know why I liked it so much, or why it has stuck with me for so long. But it has, so there has to be something more to it than I can figure out.
It was very real, definitely. Maybe that's it.
All in all, I would recommend it to everyone and anyone.
I first read it in eight grade, and when I did, I didn't like it. I am not entirely sure why. Maybe it was the format or the style. I doubt it had to do with the characters or the plot-line. Either way, I didn't like it. But once I finished it, it stuck with me. Some conversation would remind me of it, or such. It has stuck with me for the past three years.
So, since it was so unforgettable, I decided to give it another go.
This time I liked it a lot, but it wasn't incredible, or mind blowing, or cathartic. The characters were engaging, certainly, and sympathetic, but not astounding. The plot was kind of average, from the beginning you can guess what is going to happen. The writing was pleasant, but not particularly new or different.
So, I don't really know why I liked it so much, or why it has stuck with me for so long. But it has, so there has to be something more to it than I can figure out.
It was very real, definitely. Maybe that's it.
All in all, I would recommend it to everyone and anyone.
May 15, 2007
This was billed as the "first South Asian American Young Adult Novel" Aimed at teens, so it's a quick and light read. I felt like I really related to it more from the South Asian American college student perspective...a lot of college student identity politics that I could totally relate to...fun to read about the dj "scene" in NY...something I always wanted to experience as a 20 something, but never really got a chance to. I liked the relationship between the narrator and her parents...that it was a loving relationship and not a stereotypically oppressive relationship, which I think surprised even the narrator, herself.
January 12, 2009
Born Confused is an inspiring novel about a girl trying to find herself. Dimple Lala is stuck between two cultures, Indian and American, and never feels like she is enough of either. Then to complicate things, her parents decide to set up an arranged marriage with a "suitable boy." The suitable boy is exactly what Dimple expects him to be--until she sees him DJing magic at a party in an amazing club called HotPot. The descriptions in this book are nothing short of magnificent, and they drag you in so wholly that you forget that this is just a story. Read this book!
June 23, 2009
I quit reading this book because I was looking for a good cultural read, but the girl was a bit preoccupied with sex. I flipped further into the book to see if she abandoned her best friend who was a bad influence and obsessed with boys, but found they were still pursuing the same course. It wasn't the cultural read I was seeking.
Instead I'm now reading "Does My Head Look Big In This?" Which is about a Australian Muslim girl who has decided to wear the hijab (head covering) full-time. I'm enjoying this cultural read much more.
Instead I'm now reading "Does My Head Look Big In This?" Which is about a Australian Muslim girl who has decided to wear the hijab (head covering) full-time. I'm enjoying this cultural read much more.
July 18, 2017
idk man i'm south asian and i read this book a long time ago but i remember feeling kind of mad the whole time. It generalizes indians so much and the main character (?? i don't remember her very much) was unlikable.
January 2, 2008
One of those books that I don't quite like entirely, but that is long enough that I felt attached to it by the end. It's a little flat and angst-driven.
January 23, 2008
I used to work as a library aid in high school and this book fucking sucked. A waste of shelf-space. It is probably one of the most superficial thing I've ever read.
May 5, 2008
i liked this book. it's maybe a little too long, but it's good. there were just a few parts that didn't make a lot of sense, especially one odd scene involving drugs. but i recommend it.
March 13, 2016
I read this in my teens and remember feeling as if I shouldn't be (I don't know why) but enjoying it a lot. Completely forgot what it was called until now. Must read again!
June 18, 2017
One of the best books I have read--I can't do it justice but to say, just read it.
August 16, 2013
I've been holding back on writing a review for this book. There's just so much I want to say about it that I'm not sure if I am capable of verbalizing how much I really adore it. "Born Confused" is a coming-of-age novel about our protagonist and narrator, Dimple Lala. Dimple is American but also Indian, and she has a difficult time fitting in as an American teenager who can't escape her Indian heritage. She has a best friend, Gwen Sexton, who she grew up with and considers her twin since both girls have no siblings and were basically joined at the hips when they were kids, even if Gwen is tall, lean and blonde and Dimple is shorter, curvy, and has the typical Asian black hair. Our story starts on the last day of school, when Dimple turns 17. We get to see Dimple's journey into finding herself in the summer through her adventures with trying to keep up with the ever drifting Gwen, and getting to know an Indian boy named Karsh Kapoor, the son of one her parents' friends, who she originally passed off as "unsuitable".
What I loved about this book is that though I am not Indian, I am Asian and I also am American born, but my parents are not. I identified with the struggles of being too American for my parents' liking, and as I grew older, realized that perhaps my family's culture isn't as lame as I had thought. I think Tanuja Desai Hidier really captured the "confused" aspect of an American born ethnic kid really well, especially those of us who still have family ties to the "mother land" and our own parents did not grow up in America. I could see Hidier put a lot of own teenage identity into Dimple.
But what she is also fantastic at capturing is the complications that come in close friendships once we begin to grow up. Growing up, I had my own "Gwen", and like all teenagers, we both grew up and began finding our own identities, but it just felt like she (my "Gwen") was so much better at it than I was. Also, the fact that it seemed like she wanted me around less and less was tough to deal with. The only difference is, there was no boy there to really separate us the way this book had both Dimple and Gwen interested in Karsh. But, I did like that this book did not sugarcoat the idea of one boy seeming to drive two friends apart, nor did it seem too dramatic most times. I usually hate (I mean really hate) love triangles in romances because it is so overdone now and it is usually only used as a weak excuse for there to be any sort of conflict, but in this story, I felt it worked fairly well. It wasn't just that a boy came between their friendship, but that the boy coming between was the breaking point. There were a lot of things that had already happened that our two friends had reached that point and Hidier didn't gloss over all of those things. Both Dimple and Gwen are forced to face their changing relationship near the end of the book, and it was refreshing to read two growing young women speak with one another about the way they made each other feel, not just about the boy that came between them. Personally, I think we need more stories about platonic best friends and the real pleasures and challenges that come with it, because we don't get enough looks into those kinds of relationships. Which is odd because a lot of people tend to say that at points both men and women will choose to stick by their friends first yet we often only see the surface value of these things. We don't get a real hard look at why these friendships are valued so much, nor that it can be difficult to want to be there for someone who you love as your own flesh and blood but they can sometimes be unreasonable. But I digress.
However, back to Dimple and Gwen, at the same time, I did feel like by the story's end the resolution between Dimple and Gwen seemed a little too neat for my liking, but I can forgive it because, again, this type of relationship isn't looked at deeply enough, so I'll take what I can get.
At times I felt like shouting at Dimple for letting so much happen and not speak up for herself, but I would sit back and admit that when I was her age if I was in a situation like hers', I probably would have chosen to keep my mouth shut as well. Also, this is addressed in the story when Dimple goes on a late night adventure alone in New York City.
I have read in some of the reviews that Hidier's descriptions were heavy and long at times, I really liked them. She has a way of describing Dimple's world so vividly that when I closed my eyes, I was in it. But it could just be that I really adore the Indian culture that I loved Hidier's descriptions so much.
I want to add in my own thoughts on Dimple's relationship with Karsh, which I found was beautifully written. Here is a couple I could really find myself rooting for. It was a little cliche at times (especially Karsh seeming to like Dimple so much so quickly), but I felt the connection between Dimple and Karsh was well done, and I loved the subtle touches of Karsh showing his interest/affection toward Dimple. Like how he pretended that there was no sheet music so Dimple wouldn't have to play the piano, or how he left his shoes for Dimple after they heard the story of Ramayana.
I also will say, I basically loved how every character was portrayed and how well all the relationships between the characters was done so realistically and I really freaking adore how Hidier was able to tie in Dimple's Indian culture into her American way of life and into her relationship with everyone important to her (and major kudos for spinning in the more Western life shaping her relationship with her cousin Kavita). And yeah, I really liked Kavita.
If this ever gets a film adaptation, I wouldn't want the author's message or Dimple's world to be changed so much that it no longer is the ABCD story it's meant to be.
I felt like I rambled a lot, so to shorten it, I really love this book. I really do. The characters are well thought out and the relationships between all the characters was very well done.
PS. When Dimple gets high for the first time, I was cracking up so hard! If you can't stomach anything else in the book, at least read where she gets high, especially when she's with her parents.
What I loved about this book is that though I am not Indian, I am Asian and I also am American born, but my parents are not. I identified with the struggles of being too American for my parents' liking, and as I grew older, realized that perhaps my family's culture isn't as lame as I had thought. I think Tanuja Desai Hidier really captured the "confused" aspect of an American born ethnic kid really well, especially those of us who still have family ties to the "mother land" and our own parents did not grow up in America. I could see Hidier put a lot of own teenage identity into Dimple.
But what she is also fantastic at capturing is the complications that come in close friendships once we begin to grow up. Growing up, I had my own "Gwen", and like all teenagers, we both grew up and began finding our own identities, but it just felt like she (my "Gwen") was so much better at it than I was. Also, the fact that it seemed like she wanted me around less and less was tough to deal with. The only difference is, there was no boy there to really separate us the way this book had both Dimple and Gwen interested in Karsh. But, I did like that this book did not sugarcoat the idea of one boy seeming to drive two friends apart, nor did it seem too dramatic most times. I usually hate (I mean really hate) love triangles in romances because it is so overdone now and it is usually only used as a weak excuse for there to be any sort of conflict, but in this story, I felt it worked fairly well. It wasn't just that a boy came between their friendship, but that the boy coming between was the breaking point. There were a lot of things that had already happened that our two friends had reached that point and Hidier didn't gloss over all of those things. Both Dimple and Gwen are forced to face their changing relationship near the end of the book, and it was refreshing to read two growing young women speak with one another about the way they made each other feel, not just about the boy that came between them. Personally, I think we need more stories about platonic best friends and the real pleasures and challenges that come with it, because we don't get enough looks into those kinds of relationships. Which is odd because a lot of people tend to say that at points both men and women will choose to stick by their friends first yet we often only see the surface value of these things. We don't get a real hard look at why these friendships are valued so much, nor that it can be difficult to want to be there for someone who you love as your own flesh and blood but they can sometimes be unreasonable. But I digress.
However, back to Dimple and Gwen, at the same time, I did feel like by the story's end the resolution between Dimple and Gwen seemed a little too neat for my liking, but I can forgive it because, again, this type of relationship isn't looked at deeply enough, so I'll take what I can get.
At times I felt like shouting at Dimple for letting so much happen and not speak up for herself, but I would sit back and admit that when I was her age if I was in a situation like hers', I probably would have chosen to keep my mouth shut as well. Also, this is addressed in the story when Dimple goes on a late night adventure alone in New York City.
I have read in some of the reviews that Hidier's descriptions were heavy and long at times, I really liked them. She has a way of describing Dimple's world so vividly that when I closed my eyes, I was in it. But it could just be that I really adore the Indian culture that I loved Hidier's descriptions so much.
I want to add in my own thoughts on Dimple's relationship with Karsh, which I found was beautifully written. Here is a couple I could really find myself rooting for. It was a little cliche at times (especially Karsh seeming to like Dimple so much so quickly), but I felt the connection between Dimple and Karsh was well done, and I loved the subtle touches of Karsh showing his interest/affection toward Dimple. Like how he pretended that there was no sheet music so Dimple wouldn't have to play the piano, or how he left his shoes for Dimple after they heard the story of Ramayana.
I also will say, I basically loved how every character was portrayed and how well all the relationships between the characters was done so realistically and I really freaking adore how Hidier was able to tie in Dimple's Indian culture into her American way of life and into her relationship with everyone important to her (and major kudos for spinning in the more Western life shaping her relationship with her cousin Kavita). And yeah, I really liked Kavita.
If this ever gets a film adaptation, I wouldn't want the author's message or Dimple's world to be changed so much that it no longer is the ABCD story it's meant to be.
I felt like I rambled a lot, so to shorten it, I really love this book. I really do. The characters are well thought out and the relationships between all the characters was very well done.
PS. When Dimple gets high for the first time, I was cracking up so hard! If you can't stomach anything else in the book, at least read where she gets high, especially when she's with her parents.
September 24, 2017
Goes far beyond the surface story of a Jersey girl with parents from India, living in the shadow of her attention-seeking white bestie, and competing over a boy. This long, intricate book takes its time to explore friendships, crushes, identity and feeling at home in your skin. I've read very few YA novels in which a girl narrator is developing a technical skill as well as her confidence. The section on friendship rifts and being a third wheel is the best I've ever read on the subject. This is not an LGBTQ novel per se, but integrates a couple of related story lines beautifully.
Published in 2002, it pre-dates social media. The author sprinkles the parents' native language throughout the book and leaves it up to the reader to work it out from context. Many lyrical passages draw you into the flowing thoughts of Dimple Lala. It is probably best suited to patient and thoughtful readers who will appreciate the payoff.
Published in 2002, it pre-dates social media. The author sprinkles the parents' native language throughout the book and leaves it up to the reader to work it out from context. Many lyrical passages draw you into the flowing thoughts of Dimple Lala. It is probably best suited to patient and thoughtful readers who will appreciate the payoff.
January 1, 2017
Whew, this is a LONG, different book. I listened to the audiobook, and I think if I were reading the paper copy I would have skipped/skimmed long parts of this. For the first half of the book, I was fairly patient with the self-examination and the stream-of-consciousness, but after many hours of the audiobook I just wanted them to get on with the plot, and for SOMEONE to say something directly to SOMEONE else without any more pussyfooting around or any more phrases beginning with "it seemed like...".
Spoilery bits:
This review is going to come off that I really didn't like the book, which isn't altogether true, but I was very frustrated with the last third of it, so I think that colours my reflections right now. All in all, there were some parts of that lengthy description that I really liked, and the window into Indian-American culture, identity, and adaptation was fascinating. I think I'd like to read more books exploring similar themes (including one where the culturally-appropriating friend really gets hers. I've got an itch to scratch), but I don't think I'll be reading Hidier's sequel to this one.
Spoilery bits:
This review is going to come off that I really didn't like the book, which isn't altogether true, but I was very frustrated with the last third of it, so I think that colours my reflections right now. All in all, there were some parts of that lengthy description that I really liked, and the window into Indian-American culture, identity, and adaptation was fascinating. I think I'd like to read more books exploring similar themes (including one where the culturally-appropriating friend really gets hers. I've got an itch to scratch), but I don't think I'll be reading Hidier's sequel to this one.
October 7, 2015
there were a lot of really good things about Born Confused. I loved the diversity, the use of Indian culture, and the relationship between friends. However, the nature of the romance annoyed me, and I don't think that it was, the defining novel for a generation of American immigrants especially Indian ones. I am an Indian- New Zealander who has lived in both places, and I didn't find that I identified with Dimple more than any other character. Maybe my expectations were too high.
This book is diverse. it had a lot of discussion about culture, cultural appropriation, the ownership of culture and the difference between folk and pop culture, and how that matters to young people. It's more than a Human Geography textbook though. As well as the awesome and though provoking discussions between Dimple and particularly Gwyn and Karsh around culture, there was lots of diversity. Firstly, Dimple had a passion, photography. That's not a particularly unusual interest in YA books but this was film photography, with developing rooms and everything, which was really cool. There were also lesbian and transgender characters, and they weren't token, either. This novel was massive, and there was time for each of them to develop. I also loved the parents. Their religion was talked about quite a bit, and that was fascinating- I know lots about Hinduism, living where I do, but I loved how it was incorporated into the story, along with Dimples fabulous, fabulous parents.
The relationships in this book were perfect (almost. Perfectly written at least) I would argue that the central relationship is between Gwyn and Dimple, and the evolution of that relationship was done really well. I think that one of the main reasons this story worked is that Dimple is a deliciously complex character. She has insecurites, and struggles and fears and dreams and she doesn't know quite where she's going. Born Confused certainly fits in the the 'coming of age' category, and in terms of the relationships, that was done fabulously. Her relationship with her parents was great. She loved them to bits but they were also embarrassing and confusing and trying to do a little marriage arrangment and I don't even know how it worked, but it was real Karsh and his complexities were complexly explored too, and so was Kavita "I just want to be a woman who loves Sabina" was a line that almost made me cry.
The plot was fairly typical contemporary' you know 'the whole way I see the world has just changed", but the story still kept me (mostly) interested.
So the place where this book falls short is the romance. It's very will they-won't they, and I got very frustrated of Karsh playing with hearts. he was a perfectly likeable guy, but Dimple just melted when he was around, and the way it turned out was pretty obvious. I seem to just really dislike it when guys get in the way of friendships, and that was certainly a major part of the I also didn't really identify. I don't go to parties (it's the boarding school), I don't do the things or think the things that Dimple does, even though she was an interesting character.
Still however, I reccommend this book to anyone who likes complex Heroines, New York City and entertaining discussion of culture.
This book is diverse. it had a lot of discussion about culture, cultural appropriation, the ownership of culture and the difference between folk and pop culture, and how that matters to young people. It's more than a Human Geography textbook though. As well as the awesome and though provoking discussions between Dimple and particularly Gwyn and Karsh around culture, there was lots of diversity. Firstly, Dimple had a passion, photography. That's not a particularly unusual interest in YA books but this was film photography, with developing rooms and everything, which was really cool. There were also lesbian and transgender characters, and they weren't token, either. This novel was massive, and there was time for each of them to develop. I also loved the parents. Their religion was talked about quite a bit, and that was fascinating- I know lots about Hinduism, living where I do, but I loved how it was incorporated into the story, along with Dimples fabulous, fabulous parents.
The relationships in this book were perfect (almost. Perfectly written at least) I would argue that the central relationship is between Gwyn and Dimple, and the evolution of that relationship was done really well. I think that one of the main reasons this story worked is that Dimple is a deliciously complex character. She has insecurites, and struggles and fears and dreams and she doesn't know quite where she's going. Born Confused certainly fits in the the 'coming of age' category, and in terms of the relationships, that was done fabulously. Her relationship with her parents was great. She loved them to bits but they were also embarrassing and confusing and trying to do a little marriage arrangment and I don't even know how it worked, but it was real Karsh and his complexities were complexly explored too, and so was Kavita "I just want to be a woman who loves Sabina" was a line that almost made me cry.
The plot was fairly typical contemporary' you know 'the whole way I see the world has just changed", but the story still kept me (mostly) interested.
So the place where this book falls short is the romance. It's very will they-won't they, and I got very frustrated of Karsh playing with hearts. he was a perfectly likeable guy, but Dimple just melted when he was around, and the way it turned out was pretty obvious. I seem to just really dislike it when guys get in the way of friendships, and that was certainly a major part of the I also didn't really identify. I don't go to parties (it's the boarding school), I don't do the things or think the things that Dimple does, even though she was an interesting character.
Still however, I reccommend this book to anyone who likes complex Heroines, New York City and entertaining discussion of culture.
July 11, 2014
I remembered reading this book when I was in high school, and I was thinking about it again and decided to give it another go. I got so much more out of it this time around. I have been reading tons of blogs, about cultural appropriation and privilege, and picked up a lot that I didn't when I read it 10 years ago--I hardly even understood how awful Gwyn was back then, for example. It was also funny to see the things going on that Dimple was not yet aware of, but were crystal clear just from the little details and dialogue. Kavita and Sabina, for example. Kavita's coming out scene almost moved me to tears, actually, because her nervousness and then relief and giddiness at having done it and been accepted were so palpable.
The imagery was very imaginative and rich (if a tad heavy at times), and I really felt like I was inside Dimple's head. The scene where she smokes pot had this crazy surreal quality that made me feel like I was right there with her. And her family is so wonderful that I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall in their house--her parents are heartbreakingly sweet, and Kavita so loving but also the perfect cool older cousin. I loved how Dimple grew to see them all as human beings with flaws and stories of their own, which is a big part of growing up.
The huge glaring flaw in all of this was definitely Gwyn. Even putting aside her absolute cluelessness, the exotification of her best friend's culture (and family!) and all the cultural appropriation and insensitive comments, she is the worst, most horrible friend. I could not understand why Dimple thought she was so amazing. Everything she did was incredibly selfish and self-centered. Yeah, her backstory is tragic and she's jealous of Dimple's loving family. But all she did was interrupt Dimple, encroach on all her boundaries, condescend, and undermine her at every opportunity to try to make herself look better by comparison. Eating all her best fries, showing up in the exact same outfit (in a smaller size) on purpose, not telling Dimple about Karsh's birthday, completely ignoring her best friend any time there was a boy around. I was really glad when Dimple finally confronted her and they had their big fight, but then felt like it was undermined in their big reconciliation scene, when Dimple decided she had also been a bad friend and apologized first. The only redeeming thing Gwyn did was have the magazine use Dimple's photos (thereby letting Dimple gain recognition for her photos). "Letting" her have Karsh didn't even seem that generous to me, since she could tell the whole time that Karsh was into Dimple and only gave up when she had exhausted everything and still couldn't win him over. I think the book would have been much stronger if their friendship had been allowed to come to an end, since all of Gwyn's cultural insensitivity and undermining of Dimple was very glossed over so that they could reconcile.
Anyway, aside from that I really enjoyed the book and will probably read the sequel when it comes out. I want to hang out with Dimple and her family a little bit more.
The imagery was very imaginative and rich (if a tad heavy at times), and I really felt like I was inside Dimple's head. The scene where she smokes pot had this crazy surreal quality that made me feel like I was right there with her. And her family is so wonderful that I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall in their house--her parents are heartbreakingly sweet, and Kavita so loving but also the perfect cool older cousin. I loved how Dimple grew to see them all as human beings with flaws and stories of their own, which is a big part of growing up.
The huge glaring flaw in all of this was definitely Gwyn. Even putting aside her absolute cluelessness, the exotification of her best friend's culture (and family!) and all the cultural appropriation and insensitive comments, she is the worst, most horrible friend. I could not understand why Dimple thought she was so amazing. Everything she did was incredibly selfish and self-centered. Yeah, her backstory is tragic and she's jealous of Dimple's loving family. But all she did was interrupt Dimple, encroach on all her boundaries, condescend, and undermine her at every opportunity to try to make herself look better by comparison. Eating all her best fries, showing up in the exact same outfit (in a smaller size) on purpose, not telling Dimple about Karsh's birthday, completely ignoring her best friend any time there was a boy around. I was really glad when Dimple finally confronted her and they had their big fight, but then felt like it was undermined in their big reconciliation scene, when Dimple decided she had also been a bad friend and apologized first. The only redeeming thing Gwyn did was have the magazine use Dimple's photos (thereby letting Dimple gain recognition for her photos). "Letting" her have Karsh didn't even seem that generous to me, since she could tell the whole time that Karsh was into Dimple and only gave up when she had exhausted everything and still couldn't win him over. I think the book would have been much stronger if their friendship had been allowed to come to an end, since all of Gwyn's cultural insensitivity and undermining of Dimple was very glossed over so that they could reconcile.
Anyway, aside from that I really enjoyed the book and will probably read the sequel when it comes out. I want to hang out with Dimple and her family a little bit more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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