What do you think?
Rate this book
The Mindful Path Through Worry and Rumination: Letting Go of Anxious and Depressive Thoughts
Do you find yourself ruminating about things you can't control? Worrying about those yet-to-complete goals and projects? What about just feeling like you're not the person you want to be?
People who worry and ruminate find it difficult to stop anxiously anticipating future events and regretting or rethinking past actions. Left unchecked, this tendency can lead to mental health problems such as depression and generalized anxiety disorder. The Mindful Path Through Worry and Rumination offers powerful mindfulness strategies derived from Buddhist spiritual practices and proven psychological techniques to help you stop overthinking what you can't control-the future and the past-and learn how to find contentment in the present moment.
Kumar integrates science, Buddhism, and therapeutic tools to create an insightful and useful guidebook for people stuck in rumination.
-Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Yale University
People who worry and ruminate find it difficult to stop anxiously anticipating future events and regretting or rethinking past actions. Left unchecked, this tendency can lead to mental health problems such as depression and generalized anxiety disorder. The Mindful Path Through Worry and Rumination offers powerful mindfulness strategies derived from Buddhist spiritual practices and proven psychological techniques to help you stop overthinking what you can't control-the future and the past-and learn how to find contentment in the present moment.
Kumar integrates science, Buddhism, and therapeutic tools to create an insightful and useful guidebook for people stuck in rumination.
-Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Yale University
171 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
69 people are currently reading
336 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 16, 2022
This book argues that daily mindfulness meditation helps reduce worry and rumination.
The Theory
People who report higher rates of depression and people who report being happier both tend to have an unrealistic view of their relationships. Ruminators and people prone to depression tend to see their interactions with others in a negative light. Depressed people have an unrealistic and inaccurate, negative view of themselves, but how they see the world tends to be somewhat more accurate than how happier people see it. Happier people tend to have built an illusionary world that helps them sustain happiness, forgive others and want to be around people. People primed for happiness are unrealistic when thinking about the world but are more accurate when thinking about themselves.
So in order to let go of anxious and depressive thoughts, you need to cultivate a skewed view of the world. This does not mean that a person should attempt to remain ignorant of all the suffering in the world. On the contrary, a person should calmly accept that each and every one of us is going to suffer and then die, and then refocus the mind onto more pleasant thoughts.
All of the worry and rumination that your mind is so good at cultivating keeps you suffering twice: first, there’s whatever you’re worried and ruminating about; and, second, your worry and rumination takes on a life of their own, robbing you of the awareness of joy, well-being, and a happier life. You need to adjust your motivation for your happiness. Instead of trying to eliminate suffering, accept it, and then refocus your attention to awe and reverence for your life and the lives of others. Mindfulness is not emptying the mind: instead, make it your goal to have a calmly aware mind. Do not attempt to cover up what’s going on in your mind or around you, just witness it. Then, instead of wanting to change your surroundings and what you are thinking about your situation, replace that tension with acceptance.
We are animals who have evolved to react to stressful situations with a fight-or-flight response. This may have been helpful in the distant past and, once in a while, may help us get out of physical danger. But in the modern world, the wild creatures that torment us are usually our own mental creations. The fight-or-flight response is generally unhelpful when our threats are psychological. You need to train your mind to diminish your body’s tendency to engage in the fight-or-flight response, instead teaching your body a more wholesome way to respond to stress while helping to guide you toward your goals.
Rather than trying to find happiness instead of suffering, look for happiness in spite of suffering. Suffering doesn’t mean an absence of happiness, and happiness doesn’t mean an absence of suffering. The mindful path can teach you how to appreciate each fleeting joy as precious and meaningful rather than futile or irrelevant. Instead of searching for a way to get away from suffering, your task now is to search for the presence of happiness in the midst of your suffering.
Rumination is when you find yourself in the same place, thinking about the same things in the same way again and again. And then you think some more, sometimes by choice, but often uncontrollably. Often, what you’re trying to do is knock down your walls of pain and only have joy. Although this is a good intention, it’s a mistaken view. You have to find your happiness where you are. Give up the false promise of everlasting freedom from suffering and release into a world of perpetual happiness, free from stress and worry. Your happiness can’t wait for that impossible moment. Your happiness must begin in the present moment.
The quest to be free of suffering and only have joy is the quest for perfection. One of the most significant negative consequences of perfectionism is that while you’re busy searching for what feels better and more perfect, you’re likely to miss the good parts of something you already have in front of you.
This is like the story of Mullah Nasruddin. One night, a neighbor of Nasruddin found him down the street, gazing at the ground underneath a street lamp. “What are you doing, Nasruddin?” asked the neighbor. “I dropped my keys in front of my house, so I am looking for them here,” replied Nasruddin. “But if you dropped your keys in front of your house, why are you looking for them here?” asked his puzzled neighbor. “It was dark in front of my house, so I decided to look for them over here, where there’s light,” was his reply. Like Nasruddin, we are looking for happiness “someplace else,” where we are not going to find it, instead of in the place where we lost it, which is the place where we actually are.
You need to stop waiting for just the right conditions. Happiness is in each moment, including “mindless” tasks, such as washing the dishes, shaving and showering or lovingly changing a diaper. Very young children are capable of joy while playing with clay, paint or toys. They are completely present for the task at hand, oblivious to anything but the present moment.
The quest for the perfect moment is motivated by fear of inadequacy. While engaged in that quest, you miss out on the present moment. We are like blind people who only feel one part of the elephant, the thing that we want but do not have, so we can’t imagine what the elephant actually looks like. We have blinded ourselves to everything we already do have, which is the life that we are actually living. Everything you experience is life, not just the one thing you are fixated on. So you need to train your inner narrator not to be focused on just the things that are “missing.” This is just one small piece of the complexity of your identity.
As Walt Whitman said, our experience is large and contains multitudes. You can choose what to focus on, and thereby choose your illusion. You can construct a positive illusion to give your world a sense of order, meaning and purpose. Chuang Tzu told a story about a “useless” tree. It was useless, because it was gnarled and knotted. It bore no fruit and could not be used for lumber. Stop criticizing your tree for not providing you with fruit or lumber. Instead, accept that it is a perfect tree to provide shade from the sun. Also, be thankful that since it has no fruit and cannot be used for lumber, no one wants to kill it or even prune it.
Rumination and worry are infertile soil for planting the seeds of happiness. Whatever happiness comes out of rumination and worry is like a stunted plant, struggling to eke out a viable existence in the parched ground of stress and anxiety. Radical acceptance comes from a belief that you can’t wait for tomorrow or next week or for the endless list of “if-only’s” to be fulfilled to begin to improve your life. You have to start right where you are.
Stop trying to be “happy.” Contentment and equanimity are much deeper than the transient euphoria and pleasure we normally equate with happiness. Happiness depends on things going well and satisfying a need. Contentment is independent and free from what happens to you or around you.
According to attachment theory, a person’s experience in the first three years of life can greatly affect the person’s psychology. After around the third year of life, a person develops language and an inner narrative. That inner narrative may have been carved into your brain in a way that has put you in a permanent rut. Mindfulness meditation can rewire your brain to allow you to change that inner narrative.
Practice
There are four building blocks of wellbeing—exercise, good sleep, a healthy diet and regular mindfulness practice. One of the ways that exercise can improve your mood is by helping to regulate how your brain influences the release of substances called cytokines. The stress response stimulates the release of cytokines in anticipation of physical injury (the old fight-or-flight response hardwired into our bodies since prehistory), but this continuous release can also make you lethargic, achy, and unable to experience as much pleasure in life. Exercise can change how your body releases cytokines so that your brain isn’t always in this rut.
Instructions for mindfulness meditation: The easiest explanation of how to practice mindfulness is to follow your breath. The cornerstone of mindfulness practice is the belly breath. Otherwise known as diaphragmatic breathing, this is the technique of using your belly, specifically the area around your belly button, to slowly and rhythmically guide air into your lungs. This kind of breathing is the opposite of the tight, short breaths centered in your chest that come with anxiety, depression, and, most notoriously, panic attacks.
Train yourself to do this constantly. For example, when you’re driving or walking somewhere, or whenever you notice your mind trapped in the maze of rumination, all you need to do is draw a belly breath and be aware of the sensation of air moving in and out of your body. Anchor your thoughts to your breath, and your awareness will shift to the present moment. You can invert the struggle for control of your mind. Instead of allowing rumination to distract you, allow mindfulness to distract you from the maze of rumination that has trapped your mind for so long.
By watching your mind think its way through the maze as you return your awareness to your body and breath, you begin to find your way to freedom one step, one breath, at a time.
The practice of mindfulness has been closely linked with coming to terms with our mortality. One cause of suffering is the fear of death. Rather than trying to push this out of your mind or practicing denial that life is impermanent, practice radical acceptance of impermanence. Some of the greatest potential of mindfulness meditation becomes realized in the existential confrontation between the inner narrator’s ceaseless mental stream and a higher awareness of physical death. A constant theme in the Tibetan Buddhist traditions asks practitioners to reflect on the certainty of death and the uncertainty of when it will happen. The goal is for you to develop a secure relationship with your life. The analogy with attachment theory is that just as secure attachment makes it feel safe for children to explore the world and learn to soothe themselves in the absence of the main caregiver, the mindful path offers you the chance to enjoy exploring the world and soothe yourself as an adult in the face of your mortality.
We can choose what to make of the experiences we go through. In Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl spoke of his conviction that in many instances, the difference between life and death in the Nazi concentration camps was whether or not people felt connected to their inherent capacity to make choices and sensed meaning in their suffering. Frankl’s realizations took place in the charnel grounds that served a monstrous form of human evil. Similarly, after being in the hospital, people heal by the setting, tracking and attainment of realistic, meaningful goals. Cancer survivors are sometimes actually grateful for the experience of cancer, because it forced them to refocus their mind on enjoying the simple pleasures of being alive.
But you don’t need to wait to be hospitalized to do this; you can do this in the face of the normal, everyday type of suffering. You can search for meaning in specific tasks or in fleeting moments of enjoyment. Set meaningful goals that are realistic and attainable.
Be aware that this takes effort. Cycles of addiction and abusive relationships offer proof that the mind would prefer to stay in a toxic but stable environment rather than stir up the instability that even healthy change can bring. It takes effort to find meaning is sickness, injury, work, relationships, stress, tension, etc. All of life’s difficult situations take effort to be transformed into meaningful experiences. Searching for meaning is about choosing presence and choosing to give meaning to something you already do or would like to do more.
The ability to make the effort to find meaning in the trials and tribulations of everyday existence is called resilience. Resilience doesn’t hide the immensity, tragedy, or horrors of suffering. But it transforms horror into meaning. Like Job, we can’t often know the reason, the meaning, of God’s will, but it’s up to us to either increase our faith and move closer to God in the face of our individual suffering, or move away from God and into the hell of a spiritual vacuum, a life without meaning.
It is essential to forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t just mean forgiving others who you feel have caused you suffering, but also forgiving yourself for your mistakes and poor choices.
As your mindfulness practice matures, you become more comfortable in your own skin. It means that rather than basing all of your happiness on specific outcomes, you’re more in touch with and accepting of your capacity to feel, think and act.
The Theory
People who report higher rates of depression and people who report being happier both tend to have an unrealistic view of their relationships. Ruminators and people prone to depression tend to see their interactions with others in a negative light. Depressed people have an unrealistic and inaccurate, negative view of themselves, but how they see the world tends to be somewhat more accurate than how happier people see it. Happier people tend to have built an illusionary world that helps them sustain happiness, forgive others and want to be around people. People primed for happiness are unrealistic when thinking about the world but are more accurate when thinking about themselves.
So in order to let go of anxious and depressive thoughts, you need to cultivate a skewed view of the world. This does not mean that a person should attempt to remain ignorant of all the suffering in the world. On the contrary, a person should calmly accept that each and every one of us is going to suffer and then die, and then refocus the mind onto more pleasant thoughts.
All of the worry and rumination that your mind is so good at cultivating keeps you suffering twice: first, there’s whatever you’re worried and ruminating about; and, second, your worry and rumination takes on a life of their own, robbing you of the awareness of joy, well-being, and a happier life. You need to adjust your motivation for your happiness. Instead of trying to eliminate suffering, accept it, and then refocus your attention to awe and reverence for your life and the lives of others. Mindfulness is not emptying the mind: instead, make it your goal to have a calmly aware mind. Do not attempt to cover up what’s going on in your mind or around you, just witness it. Then, instead of wanting to change your surroundings and what you are thinking about your situation, replace that tension with acceptance.
We are animals who have evolved to react to stressful situations with a fight-or-flight response. This may have been helpful in the distant past and, once in a while, may help us get out of physical danger. But in the modern world, the wild creatures that torment us are usually our own mental creations. The fight-or-flight response is generally unhelpful when our threats are psychological. You need to train your mind to diminish your body’s tendency to engage in the fight-or-flight response, instead teaching your body a more wholesome way to respond to stress while helping to guide you toward your goals.
Rather than trying to find happiness instead of suffering, look for happiness in spite of suffering. Suffering doesn’t mean an absence of happiness, and happiness doesn’t mean an absence of suffering. The mindful path can teach you how to appreciate each fleeting joy as precious and meaningful rather than futile or irrelevant. Instead of searching for a way to get away from suffering, your task now is to search for the presence of happiness in the midst of your suffering.
Rumination is when you find yourself in the same place, thinking about the same things in the same way again and again. And then you think some more, sometimes by choice, but often uncontrollably. Often, what you’re trying to do is knock down your walls of pain and only have joy. Although this is a good intention, it’s a mistaken view. You have to find your happiness where you are. Give up the false promise of everlasting freedom from suffering and release into a world of perpetual happiness, free from stress and worry. Your happiness can’t wait for that impossible moment. Your happiness must begin in the present moment.
The quest to be free of suffering and only have joy is the quest for perfection. One of the most significant negative consequences of perfectionism is that while you’re busy searching for what feels better and more perfect, you’re likely to miss the good parts of something you already have in front of you.
This is like the story of Mullah Nasruddin. One night, a neighbor of Nasruddin found him down the street, gazing at the ground underneath a street lamp. “What are you doing, Nasruddin?” asked the neighbor. “I dropped my keys in front of my house, so I am looking for them here,” replied Nasruddin. “But if you dropped your keys in front of your house, why are you looking for them here?” asked his puzzled neighbor. “It was dark in front of my house, so I decided to look for them over here, where there’s light,” was his reply. Like Nasruddin, we are looking for happiness “someplace else,” where we are not going to find it, instead of in the place where we lost it, which is the place where we actually are.
You need to stop waiting for just the right conditions. Happiness is in each moment, including “mindless” tasks, such as washing the dishes, shaving and showering or lovingly changing a diaper. Very young children are capable of joy while playing with clay, paint or toys. They are completely present for the task at hand, oblivious to anything but the present moment.
The quest for the perfect moment is motivated by fear of inadequacy. While engaged in that quest, you miss out on the present moment. We are like blind people who only feel one part of the elephant, the thing that we want but do not have, so we can’t imagine what the elephant actually looks like. We have blinded ourselves to everything we already do have, which is the life that we are actually living. Everything you experience is life, not just the one thing you are fixated on. So you need to train your inner narrator not to be focused on just the things that are “missing.” This is just one small piece of the complexity of your identity.
As Walt Whitman said, our experience is large and contains multitudes. You can choose what to focus on, and thereby choose your illusion. You can construct a positive illusion to give your world a sense of order, meaning and purpose. Chuang Tzu told a story about a “useless” tree. It was useless, because it was gnarled and knotted. It bore no fruit and could not be used for lumber. Stop criticizing your tree for not providing you with fruit or lumber. Instead, accept that it is a perfect tree to provide shade from the sun. Also, be thankful that since it has no fruit and cannot be used for lumber, no one wants to kill it or even prune it.
Rumination and worry are infertile soil for planting the seeds of happiness. Whatever happiness comes out of rumination and worry is like a stunted plant, struggling to eke out a viable existence in the parched ground of stress and anxiety. Radical acceptance comes from a belief that you can’t wait for tomorrow or next week or for the endless list of “if-only’s” to be fulfilled to begin to improve your life. You have to start right where you are.
Stop trying to be “happy.” Contentment and equanimity are much deeper than the transient euphoria and pleasure we normally equate with happiness. Happiness depends on things going well and satisfying a need. Contentment is independent and free from what happens to you or around you.
According to attachment theory, a person’s experience in the first three years of life can greatly affect the person’s psychology. After around the third year of life, a person develops language and an inner narrative. That inner narrative may have been carved into your brain in a way that has put you in a permanent rut. Mindfulness meditation can rewire your brain to allow you to change that inner narrative.
Practice
There are four building blocks of wellbeing—exercise, good sleep, a healthy diet and regular mindfulness practice. One of the ways that exercise can improve your mood is by helping to regulate how your brain influences the release of substances called cytokines. The stress response stimulates the release of cytokines in anticipation of physical injury (the old fight-or-flight response hardwired into our bodies since prehistory), but this continuous release can also make you lethargic, achy, and unable to experience as much pleasure in life. Exercise can change how your body releases cytokines so that your brain isn’t always in this rut.
Instructions for mindfulness meditation: The easiest explanation of how to practice mindfulness is to follow your breath. The cornerstone of mindfulness practice is the belly breath. Otherwise known as diaphragmatic breathing, this is the technique of using your belly, specifically the area around your belly button, to slowly and rhythmically guide air into your lungs. This kind of breathing is the opposite of the tight, short breaths centered in your chest that come with anxiety, depression, and, most notoriously, panic attacks.
Train yourself to do this constantly. For example, when you’re driving or walking somewhere, or whenever you notice your mind trapped in the maze of rumination, all you need to do is draw a belly breath and be aware of the sensation of air moving in and out of your body. Anchor your thoughts to your breath, and your awareness will shift to the present moment. You can invert the struggle for control of your mind. Instead of allowing rumination to distract you, allow mindfulness to distract you from the maze of rumination that has trapped your mind for so long.
By watching your mind think its way through the maze as you return your awareness to your body and breath, you begin to find your way to freedom one step, one breath, at a time.
The practice of mindfulness has been closely linked with coming to terms with our mortality. One cause of suffering is the fear of death. Rather than trying to push this out of your mind or practicing denial that life is impermanent, practice radical acceptance of impermanence. Some of the greatest potential of mindfulness meditation becomes realized in the existential confrontation between the inner narrator’s ceaseless mental stream and a higher awareness of physical death. A constant theme in the Tibetan Buddhist traditions asks practitioners to reflect on the certainty of death and the uncertainty of when it will happen. The goal is for you to develop a secure relationship with your life. The analogy with attachment theory is that just as secure attachment makes it feel safe for children to explore the world and learn to soothe themselves in the absence of the main caregiver, the mindful path offers you the chance to enjoy exploring the world and soothe yourself as an adult in the face of your mortality.
We can choose what to make of the experiences we go through. In Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl spoke of his conviction that in many instances, the difference between life and death in the Nazi concentration camps was whether or not people felt connected to their inherent capacity to make choices and sensed meaning in their suffering. Frankl’s realizations took place in the charnel grounds that served a monstrous form of human evil. Similarly, after being in the hospital, people heal by the setting, tracking and attainment of realistic, meaningful goals. Cancer survivors are sometimes actually grateful for the experience of cancer, because it forced them to refocus their mind on enjoying the simple pleasures of being alive.
But you don’t need to wait to be hospitalized to do this; you can do this in the face of the normal, everyday type of suffering. You can search for meaning in specific tasks or in fleeting moments of enjoyment. Set meaningful goals that are realistic and attainable.
Be aware that this takes effort. Cycles of addiction and abusive relationships offer proof that the mind would prefer to stay in a toxic but stable environment rather than stir up the instability that even healthy change can bring. It takes effort to find meaning is sickness, injury, work, relationships, stress, tension, etc. All of life’s difficult situations take effort to be transformed into meaningful experiences. Searching for meaning is about choosing presence and choosing to give meaning to something you already do or would like to do more.
The ability to make the effort to find meaning in the trials and tribulations of everyday existence is called resilience. Resilience doesn’t hide the immensity, tragedy, or horrors of suffering. But it transforms horror into meaning. Like Job, we can’t often know the reason, the meaning, of God’s will, but it’s up to us to either increase our faith and move closer to God in the face of our individual suffering, or move away from God and into the hell of a spiritual vacuum, a life without meaning.
It is essential to forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t just mean forgiving others who you feel have caused you suffering, but also forgiving yourself for your mistakes and poor choices.
As your mindfulness practice matures, you become more comfortable in your own skin. It means that rather than basing all of your happiness on specific outcomes, you’re more in touch with and accepting of your capacity to feel, think and act.
June 19, 2010
I come from a long line of chronic worriers. In my family, the way you show support or love is by worrying. Absolutely every little thing is dissected to uncover any potential problems. Even during happy times, there is always something to ruminate about: the past, making a mistake, an upcoming event, etc.
The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination is a remarkable book that teaches us how to retrain our own minds. Many of us ruminators have been worrying so long that it has become an unconscious habit, deeply etched into the pathways of our brains. Try as we might, worrying takes on a life of its own and we just can’t seem to stop. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the first step is catching yourself in the act and retraining the brain.
I wholehearted recommend The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination. This book armed me with valuable information about how my brain works, why I ruminate, and why I could never seem to quiet that nagging voice. Most importantly, it gives me solid strategies to use day to day while I am creating new habitual ways of thinking. It’s terrifying to realize how we worriers rob ourselves and our loved ones of our whole selves but it’s equally amazing to feel the freedom and possibilities open up as our minds clear.
The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination is a remarkable book that teaches us how to retrain our own minds. Many of us ruminators have been worrying so long that it has become an unconscious habit, deeply etched into the pathways of our brains. Try as we might, worrying takes on a life of its own and we just can’t seem to stop. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the first step is catching yourself in the act and retraining the brain.
I wholehearted recommend The Mindful Path through Worry and Rumination. This book armed me with valuable information about how my brain works, why I ruminate, and why I could never seem to quiet that nagging voice. Most importantly, it gives me solid strategies to use day to day while I am creating new habitual ways of thinking. It’s terrifying to realize how we worriers rob ourselves and our loved ones of our whole selves but it’s equally amazing to feel the freedom and possibilities open up as our minds clear.
February 24, 2013
This book was really quite good, although it's not something you can just read once and get everything you want out of it. There are certain practices, and certain suggestions the author recommends that are important to keep working on. I made that mistake, because I just read it and figured "okay, why isn't this working?" It's not going to work if one just reads the book but doesn't implement what's being said.
Much like other self help books, I found the organization to be okay, but not great. There are parts of this book one can safely skip..and maybe these parts (such as personal stories of others) is useful, but not really for me. I kinda just want a cheat sheet I can reference..or something more condensed.
Still, though, this book is a a good study guide...if one treats it like a study guide. I'm going to reread/skim the parts that I want to work on practicing.
Much like other self help books, I found the organization to be okay, but not great. There are parts of this book one can safely skip..and maybe these parts (such as personal stories of others) is useful, but not really for me. I kinda just want a cheat sheet I can reference..or something more condensed.
Still, though, this book is a a good study guide...if one treats it like a study guide. I'm going to reread/skim the parts that I want to work on practicing.
May 1, 2013
I can't say that this book told me anything new. What I can say is that it presented the information to me in a way that finally allowed it to sink in and realize what I've been doing and the steps that will allow me to emerge from a rather painful cycle.
I picked this up on a whim, in part because the title matched the type of thinking I do on a regular basis. It far exceeded my expectations. It hasn't monumentally changed my life just yet, as I have to start implementing meditation into my daily routine, but I expect it will have been an important step in my continuing improvement.
I picked this up on a whim, in part because the title matched the type of thinking I do on a regular basis. It far exceeded my expectations. It hasn't monumentally changed my life just yet, as I have to start implementing meditation into my daily routine, but I expect it will have been an important step in my continuing improvement.
May 9, 2013
At times I swear this book/author was reading my mind. Such an amazing book if you are a worrier, like me.
April 11, 2020
This is not the kind of book I would normally read, but my mother attributes her noticeably improved health to it, so when she offered to loan me her copy, I accepted. I have to admit to being impressed. Kumar writes in a clear, straightforward manner at a reading level that I think someone consumed with anxiety could still process. The discussion isn't dumbed down, so I wasn't bothered by all the short words. I appreciated that the philosophy is one that is compatible with any religious beliefs the reader may hold, including holding none at all. It was only at the end that he made his case for love as a healing force and that sort of thing, and even that part wasn't heavy handed. I'm willing to try this one. My husband has a disorder in which R.E.M. sleep doesn't trigger the release of the protein that permits "rest" on a cellular level, and according to Kumar there is clinical evidence that this particular meditation practice can resolve issues like that. Even if it doesn't cure that disorder, I don't think this will be a waste of time. Rounded up.
September 2, 2025
In a sea of similar self-improvement books, this has stood above the rest. It puts real practice behind the words, and has helped me (a chronic ruminator) come to terms with things that have been eating at me for years. I’m not done with it, as the book insists on revisiting its teachings and utilizing its core practices, but this has been a great start in what I hope is a lifelong journey through mindfulness.
“Allow all distractions to be witnessed.”
“Compassion comes from an accepting mind, not a mind that’s dueling with itself”
“You have to find happiness where you are.”
“The key to establishing a balance between setting goals and finding happiness is to value the journey to achievement as much as achievement itself.”
“The sun can’t teach you to admire the sunset; you have to bring your mind into the experience of each sunset.”
“Today is tomorrow’s glorious past that may take on a meaning later that eludes you.”
“Love, compassion and forgiveness are our duties as human beings on this earth.”
“Allow all distractions to be witnessed.”
“Compassion comes from an accepting mind, not a mind that’s dueling with itself”
“You have to find happiness where you are.”
“The key to establishing a balance between setting goals and finding happiness is to value the journey to achievement as much as achievement itself.”
“The sun can’t teach you to admire the sunset; you have to bring your mind into the experience of each sunset.”
“Today is tomorrow’s glorious past that may take on a meaning later that eludes you.”
“Love, compassion and forgiveness are our duties as human beings on this earth.”
May 27, 2018
This book is one of the very few books on Buddhism and practice of mindfulness I’ve read so far that really gives practical guidance and tips on how to ruminate less, forgive others and stay happy regardless of daily worries, problems and stress.
Though not new to me, I still liked how book gave more thorough explanation for secondary emotions (feeling depressed because you feel depressed). Feelings about feelings is something I am trying to be more aware about and learn how not to go down the negative spiral, so I appreciate the author’s suggestions on how to treat your own mind positively, instead of dueling with it.
The author is also quite honest on importance of ongoing practice and that wisdom will not magically appear after finishing this book or practicing mindfulness for few weeks. The small tips and practices that are suggested in this book are quite easy and practical, increasing the chance that readers like me will actually try practicing them daily.
Though not new to me, I still liked how book gave more thorough explanation for secondary emotions (feeling depressed because you feel depressed). Feelings about feelings is something I am trying to be more aware about and learn how not to go down the negative spiral, so I appreciate the author’s suggestions on how to treat your own mind positively, instead of dueling with it.
The author is also quite honest on importance of ongoing practice and that wisdom will not magically appear after finishing this book or practicing mindfulness for few weeks. The small tips and practices that are suggested in this book are quite easy and practical, increasing the chance that readers like me will actually try practicing them daily.
October 27, 2021
This is a phenomenal book for therapists, clients, and laypeople. It is articulate yet simple in guiding you through the maze of rumination and/ or obsession. The author is so spot on, you will have moments when you say "wow, is this guy a mind reader?" Dr Kumar is both incredible empathitic and practical in how to cope with rumination. I would very much recommend you read this book!
January 27, 2019
To summarize, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise and practice mindfulness (at least 15 mins, 2x/ day). Forgive yourself and others. Do this now for you may die tomorrow.
February 26, 2019
Excellent resource! So glad I have this in my home library so I can refer to it again.
May 3, 2019
Really insightful and comforting!
January 10, 2020
A peaceful and rewarding read. 🤙🏻
September 23, 2013
Great book teaching you the power of Mindful Meditation. The author, a psychologist, explains why and how mindful meditation works to calm your mind, training your brain to form new pathways, causing you to ruminate less on the things you worry about and focus more on the little pleasures of life. He teaches you how to meditate and gives you other exercises to try such as finding out your attachment style and focusing on forgiveness (of others as well as yourself).
December 25, 2013
Peace with difficult times
provides a framework for understanding suffering and the power of peace and enlightenment in difficult times. highly recommended for those suffering from depression and anxiety.
provides a framework for understanding suffering and the power of peace and enlightenment in difficult times. highly recommended for those suffering from depression and anxiety.
February 5, 2014
I actually enjoyed the author's history and descriptions of the buddhist religion more than his theories on worry and anxiety. Overall, an interesting and worthwhile read, but not my favorite for worry/rumination/anxiety specifically.
January 14, 2016
A great book.
Understand mindfulness and how to change your life view. I will retread this often and recommend it to friend and family.
Understand mindfulness and how to change your life view. I will retread this often and recommend it to friend and family.
Currently reading
August 19, 2016Just started this book,I'm interested in mindfulness and also a bit of a worrier!,on chapter 6 has anyone read this book be interested to hear your thoughts?
May 6, 2013
it was good, just a quick read; better than most books like this but not incredibly insightful.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews