Growing Up Jung: Coming of Age as the Son of Two Shrinks

by Micah Toub

Wild personal history meets irreverent survey of Jungian psychology in this memoir about growing up as the son of two shrinks.

As the son of two Jungian therapists, the young Micah Toub got a double dose of insight, ranging from the flaky to the profound. Dreamwork, archetypes, conflict resolution, the mind-body connection—Toub’s childhood was a virtual laboratory of psychology.

A mysterious growth on his father’s nose embodies the conflict that would lead to his parents’ divorce. Family meetings involved dream analysis and intense emotional unburdening. As a young adult, Micah chases his “anima” in the form of a fickle poetess who eventually breaks his heart, but then a series of coincidences later identified as “synchronicity” lead him to his fiancé.

Enriched with excerpts from Jung’s own memoir, and informed by readings and conversations with Jungian gurus and unbelievers alike, Growing Up Jung intelligently examines the pros and cons of Jungian philosophy as we witness Toub embrace his “shadow” and meditate with his “ally” in that elusive quest for “individuation.” While tackling themes like the Anima, the Oedipus Complex, and Transference, it addresses the question: is it possible for the spawn of two shrinks to reach adulthood mentally unscathed?

Genres: Memoir, Psychology, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Micah Toub grew up in Denver, Colorado, and now resides in Toronto, Canada, where he writes on psychology and other topics, including a biweekly column on relationships from a male point of view for The Globe & Mail.

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Growing Up Jung when it was first published eleven years ago, before I’d started my serious study of depth psychology. I wanted to read it again today to see if it holds up to my initially positive (4/5) impression.

My finding? Not quite. There are some cute moments and the organization of the memoir according to key Jungian terms (shadow, anima etc) is inspired, but there’s quite a lot of emphasis on Freudian sexuality and the book comes off as ‘Jung lite’. There are also errors. For example, a ‘big dream’ in Jungian terms is not a dream that is important to the dreamer. It’s a dream with archetypal resonance from the collective unconscious.

[Chanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. It’s interesting because I love psychoanalysis, but I’m not sure how strong a case he makes for Jungian psychoanalysis. More than the discussion of psychoanalytic theory and the insight he provides into a home steeped with its teachings, I appreciate the author’s honesty. He lays his inner world out on the page, and it’s been an enjoyable ride through his life experiences. He seems to have much equanimity for the unfolding of himself, while I remember my journey to be much more turbulent and tormenting. Maybe having analysts as parents lent him the objective eye?

[Frater · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know the book that is so good and gripping you can't put it down and you read it one day....yeah this is one of those books. Really funny, utterly honest, and really shows how Jungian psychology really does help and guide a person through life. The author is the son of two Analytical therapists who grew up learning about Jung, and being exposed to many authors, including Joseph Campbell. Throughout his life he was able to overcome challenges and be aware of his own psyche by reminding himself of Jung's theories and how he could relate them to himself. This should be read by any student interested in psychology, anyone who doubts the authenticity of Jung's theories and anyone interested in a coming of age story. I really recommend it!

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read and high level introduction to Jung. The author discusses how his Jungian parents raised him and he was able to use young to mature and find his own identity, which is to some extent an ongoing process.

[Brooklyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm surprised to see the rating below 4 stars. This is refreshingly honest look at the self and the Self. It's a wonderfully normal tale that reviews the definition of normal. It's a book aware of itself, meta-meta but doesn't play accountability dodgeball.
It was difficult not to psychoanalyze the author as he psychoanalyzes himself; example, he rightfully criticizes Jung's hypocritical behavior then he admits to projecting his anima onto other women, like Jung, while simultaneously asking for a peer's number.
It's a peek into a white American man's mind that doesn't leave you feeling violated. I suppose it was a good reset; a reminder that all men lust for violence, very few have the integrity and intelligence to not only put it into words but to work through it too.
Only wish that I knew more about his mom, sister, and ex-wife. From a feminist perspective, each chapter was based on a pivotal experience from relationships with women; I don't think they were given proper acknowledgement.
Overall, it's an exciting, fast-read for anyone who needs a break from the drudge of Jungian seminars; yet, both remain deep.

[Magtymguly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Micah's way of blending his story with Jungian concepts was surprisingly easy to follow, and fun! As someone who has read a lot of Carl Jung, it was fun to see how other people are grappling with his concepts in the modern world and whether they are still finding benefits from his ideas. I enjoyed the Anima chapter and the last two chapters the most since they felt the rawest, most honest of the book. I think Micah ultimately wrote this, something he somewhat admits towards the end, for himself and his own "process". I appreciated him sharing this story and it honestly helped me make sense of some of my challenges and interpretations of Jung.

[Nikki Everts · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book - Micah is funny and informative - great intro to Jungian psychology from the child of two Jungian psychiatrists. The fact he still has a sense of humour is almost a miracle. I read it a number of years ago but will always remember that as a small child, Micah used to make up dreams so as not to disappoint his father's queries re: his dream life. Probably where he developed his creative imagination.

[Matthew Beam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a funny, insightful read. It had me by turns, learning, relating and falling off my seat in laughter. Page turner!

[Britt-Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting in places, other parts were skim-worthy.

[Mark Valentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can tell from the title that this is a funny book because, well, who really ever grows up? I know. If you're thinking, one only individuates, you definitely need to read this!

Toub is not messed up at all. Combining a memoir with Jungian psychology presents the best of both worlds; it is full of sexual exploration, the shadow side, anima & animus, allies, archetypes, polygamy, mandalas, and deep work. Relationships come and go. Dreams come and go. Love remains.

I loved Toub's humor. I found this a serious memoir with humorous breaks. He would be a fantastic dinner guest. I feel like I know him.

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 2 out of 5]

Toub grew up as the son of two practicing Jungian psychologists in Denver Colorado in the eighties. His experiences as a child were different from those of other children in his neighbourhood. Not all his boyhood friends had discussions about penis envy while in the park with their mother. There were also open discussions during family meetings at the dinner table and heady conversations in which dreams were analized and parsed for their hidden meanings.

Unlike other memoirs of children recalling their childhood, Toub does not criticize his parents but portrays them as warm, loving and thoughtful. His parents worked from home, so Toub was often exposed to unusual and interesting people.

In a series of chapters, Toub tries to understand his life struggles through the lens of Jungian theory. He explores aspects of his sexuality, his relationship with his parents and his struggles with marriage. But he does so with humour and a healthy skepticism of Jung theory, challenging a number of its precepts. His honest but light hearted self-examination may be applauded, but at times is a “little over the top”. He asks difficult questions about himself but then adds a humourous comment at the same time.

Many believe Jungian theory is irrelevant today after the recent advances in neuroscience and clinical therapy. Toub is also skeptical about several aspects of its theory, but believes there is still merit in some of its ideas and that by using its tools an individual can examine and gain a better understanding of his life. He includes informed readings and conversations with Jungarian gurus as well as disbelievers, intelligently examining the pros and cons of its philosophy.

Toub encourages his readers to look beyond what they see every day in their life to understand what attracts or angers them, how they relate to those they care about and to listen to what their dreams are trying to tell them.

This is an unusual, funny and insightful memoir and not for everyone.
But it is an interesting record of an unusual childhood and a man’s attempt to try to understand his life story.

[Miriam Murcutt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the memoir of the coming of age of Micah, the son of two never-off-duty Jungian therapists. And it was an off-the-beaten-track upbringing, worth recording; his every nuanced feeling stripped down to its barest of bones, ruthlessly analysed and reconstructed with the help of mom and pop - especially mom - through an auto-focused Jungian lens. This habit of his parents proved to be catching as Micah applied the same psychic medicine to his non-filial relationships, although on less acquiescent subjects. I was interested to find out if all this analysis, introspection and self-revelation would lead Micah to a Better Place, one denied to those whose upbringings centered around other important questions such as, "What's for dinner?". But it seems as if Jung might not have all the answers. Micah and his family chalk up their fair share of divorces, the pain of them eased perhaps because they know how to pinpoint the reasons why. It's different in both its content and construction.
This book is good stuff, unusual in both its content and construction. It's Jung 101, theory and applied - written in a relaxed manner with lots of self-deprecating humor and unbridled honesty.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this book because it was about someone who was the child of two shrinks. I am the child of two social workers. Growing up in a social work family has definitely shaped who I am, in ways that I don't even really understand or realize.

This book was funny and pretty interesting. Michah (love that name) grew up as the son of two Jungian psychologists. This meant that he did a lot of Jungian exercises and analysis, some of which made sense (to me) and some of which were completely out to lunch (to me). I find some Jungian theory interesting, but other parts made me want to shake my head.

I was also interested in his father's reaction to the book. His parents looked a bit flaky in certain sections of the book, and his dad was upset by the book, at least at first.

Lots to think about here, but not necessarily something that I want to run around pressing on others.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this based on a friend's rating/review. A mix of the author's life story and the history of Jungian analysis. Interesting story - but it didn't completely gel for me. Like he needed more time to process before looking back and reflecting on his life, and to get more distance from his parents in order to tell their story. Not that life ever stops being a work in progress - but I think there's a reason that people used to write memoirs later in life. In the last chapter there are events that sort of rip apart the "pretty bow" tying up the story to that point.

[Cory Cooperman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a solid biography, much less about being the child of two psychologists and much more about viewing the challenges of growing up in a modern world with a questioning mind.

Micah Toub's candor is touching, and his story is an interesting one that resonates well with me, even though my knowledge of Jung is infinitesimal and my psychological worldview does not match the semi-mysticism of the Jungians.

[Cat Noe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I now know far more about this author than I am really comfortable knowing. That hangup aside, it's well-written, pleasant, and interesting enough. If you don't have anything better to do, it's not a total waste of time.

Oh, and the author just *looks* like one of those people I automatically hate, going by the book jacket. So the fact that I still like him...

Quit while you're ahead. Yeah.

*crickets*

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's not often I stop reading a book without finishing it, but Chuck convinced me to do so when I had nothing good to say about it. Normally I enjoy reading memoirs, but this was sooooo boring. Only about 1/3 is memoir, the other is explaining the psychology. Turns out I HATE psychology! Plus, there are a couple of graphic parts. So altogether, I was done.

[Cara McKenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir, especially since my own mother is a psychotherapist and believer in some of Jung's principles. The book didn't knock my socks clean off, but it was funny and sweet, frank and well-written. Toub does a great job of switching between his life story (70%) and injections of Jung's own biography (30%) without it seeming heavy-handed or disrupting the flow of the narrative.

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having always had some interest in Jungian therapy, but not having any experience, this book was a great read. It's not a heavy-duty book about Jung (or therapy, or about having parents who are therapists, or..) but it does include all of the above subjects and then some. Lots of humour, lots of insight, lots of questioning and some great explanation of Jungian theories mixed in.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm split between liking & thinking it was just ok. Having done library cataloguing work at the Jung Institute in LA, I was drawn to the memoir. While it was entertaining in that "analysis of the family" kind of way, the merging of contents using Jungian philosophy may have overshadowed the "memoir" aspect of this book.

[Jeffrey Bumiller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book. Now I know a lot more about C.G. Jung and way more about Micah Toub. I didn't think I was going to like this as much as I did, I didn't really care for the first couple of chapters. But something must have changed about a quarter of the way in, it's as if the book was glued to my hands. I finished it in an afternoon.

[Beverly Akerman · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was well written and engaging but I can't help feeling like these people are all sad nut cases...and that a book like this just encourages people to waste their time on endeavors like Freudian or Jungian analysis. This book is not just about first world problems but about out of this world "solutions."

[Eve · Rating 3 out of 5]

A smart and funny memoir with a bonus lesson in pop psychology. As Toub points out in the book, Jungian theory is dismissed by many as outdated today, and he does a great job of making the concepts seem fresh and relevant (while also laughing at himself when appropriate). Entertaining read.

[Leslie Shimotakahara · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining, poignant story of a boy trying to find himself, growing up as the son of two Jungian psychologists..... This book spoke to me. My full review can be read at: www.the-reading-list.com

[cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

2011 Book 31/100

All you need to know about why this book is both touching and hysterical can be found in this video excerpt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRa1FO... of the author reading from his memoir. "Be the erection in your life!"

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually enjoyed reading this book. It is humorous and light-hearted and I liked that Micah experiences growth and progression even though not everything works out.

I gave the book 3 stars because it took me so long to read it. Towards the end, I just wanted to be finished.

[Darby Hamm]

honest and often comical exploration of Jungian theory told through the author's personal narrative. a less academic companion for one seeking to understand Jung/ how his abstract theories may be applied, whether within psychotherapy or daily life

[Ginny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny and honest. Well done.

[Kaija · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic read for anyone who has an interest in nature vs. nurture, or in psychology.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

moderately interesting memoir of growing up as the son of two Jungian psychologists. A bit too much ego and adolescent posturing. His explanation of Jungian psychology is pretty good, however.