Now I See the Moon: A Mother, a Son, a Miracle

by Elaine Hall, Elizabeth Kaye

When her son, Neal, was diagnosed with autism, former Hollywood acting coach Elaine Hall, aka Coach E, took matters into her own hands and used her resources to guide him toward an increasingly independent life. In the process, she founded The Miracle Project, a groundbreaking organization that uses the performing arts to connect with children with autism. Both controversial and unorthodox, Hall's innovative approach has been praised by leaders in the field of autism, including Temple Grandin, Barry Prizant, and Dr. Stanley Greenspan. She was also the subject of the Emmy Award-winning documentary Autism: The Musical.

Hall now speaks around the country sharing her wisdom. Now I See the Moon is a story of hope, faith, and miracles; it is a story only a mother could tell.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Autobiography, Adoption, Memoir, Parenting

283 pages, Hardcover

First published June 17, 2010

Reviews

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was truly inspirational. It is a must read for anyone that has a child with autism. Even if you don't have a child with autism you learn so much on how to deal with the difficult things in life and how to be a more compassionate person. This woman was so intune with the spirit and would follow the inspiration that she was given and miracles would happen. Her son is not "cured" from autism and they still have many struggles, but they have made leaps and bounds and she has impacted the Austims community in countless ways.

While reading the book I felt inspired to be a better mom, and to feel differently about Trevor and not try to cure him but make sure he is happy. And see all of the joy he adds to my life. There are times I would ache for him to be "normal" but the author (who felt the same way at times) through following promptings from her Heavenly Father was able to accept and know that he didn't need to be cured. That he was an amazing miracle that she should just enjoy him for who he is and the love he adds to her life. She has imspired me to do the same.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has undoubtedly done very well with her autistic son, and helped other autistic kids with her Miracle Project. However...she is annoying. She is just sooo upper middle class and privileged (not to mention being in the LA celebrity scene!). She has many more financial, educational, and personal resources than most people. Not that I begrudge her any of them in being an advocate for her son and other kids. Also the religious/spiritual stuff, which includes relentless positivity, gets to me, especially when she has a "spiritual coach" for the parents of the kids in the project. I may have to go read Barbara Ehrenreich's Bright-sided again as an antidote.

That said, it's interesting to read again about Stanley Greenspan's methods for young children with autism. I recently read Susan Senator's Making Peace with Autism. She is another privileged upper middle class mother with an autistic child who has worked with Greenspan. She thought she was in a race with time, as there was a deadline for her child's developing child's brain to be able to adapt. I was mildly dubious about that when I read it. Hall said something in passing that implied that any deadlines aren't so hard and fast, which makes more sense.

Hall and Senator both found they had be their children's advocates navigating through the educational system. Most errors they made were in not advocating strongly enough, and both books are likely to help and inspire readers in similar positions.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most memoirs like this, written by people who aren't writers, don't stand out for the writing. It's the bare bones of the story that is compelling, not the language used to convey that story. This one is no exception there. Too many exclamation points, for example.

I also felt like the author is someone that if I met in person, I would feel like I was supposed to like her, but just couldn't. I think I'd feel guilty about it, but I'd find her annoying.

But mad respect to her for her organization, which sounds remarkable. It was also worth reading to see the humanity of a child with autism. They're in there. They're smarter, more observant than we might realize.

I am mightily curious about the ex-husband, though. AKA "Dad" who never seemed to be a presence. Is that because he didn't want to be in the book, so she left him out as much as possible? Or is he really not a presence in his son's life. There's a point late in the book where he would have been the natural person to rely on if he was still around, but that's not who she turns to. On the one hand, it's none of my business. But on the other, if you put your lives out there so publicly, people are going to wonder about the stuff that's missing.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author beautifully tells her story and life with her autistic son.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is full of emotionally touching stories and encouragement for parents of children with autism. It moved me to tears in a few places, as I could so fully relate to the authors feelings. I found myself thinking about what I can do more for my own son.

However, many times, I thought, "I wish a great editor would have turn this book into something really amazing." The style was very distracting and make the book very easy to put down at any time. Each section is chronological, but the mini-stories within didn't always flow. I wasn't sure of the boy's age several times. I know her personal relationships with her husbands are important in her life, but those subplots were also distracting. I kept wondering if she was in Russia by herself, since everything there was, "I" and never "we." The beauty of the story was often lost in nuances that a fantastic editor should have helped the author fix. (And the obvious error of, "I could have cared less," was one that any editor should have caught.)

[Bdalton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because Heather had suggested it as a book for a book club that we were starting. I imagine Heather had suggested this title because I have been interested in figuring out ways that the library could do outreach to Colorado's growing number of families that have children impacted with autism. While I still think this is a great goal, this book has made me more fully aware of the challenges. I loved Elaine Hall's story, her bravery, and her devotion to her adopted son Neal. I liked the love story between her and her second husband. I was drawn in by her love of God and community. This is a wonderful read for anyone who has someone in their lives who has ADHD, autism, or other different ways of being. I am not giving this book five stars only because I think if the writing had been a bit better the story would be even more compelling.

[Kaleigh✨ Howard · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This book was very compelling and beautiful. I admire the authors relationship with her son, and love how she is always willing to talk about the bad with the good. I think this is one of the better ASD books I have read that wasn’t written by someone with autism themselves. Story with a lot of ups and downs, and lots of emotion! I think it’s a great first book of you don’t know much about autism, or want to read about a mother’s experience and feel less alone with the struggles and triumphs of raising a child with ASD. Also personally I love how devoted to her faith the author is.

[Jessica Boggess · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an autism mom, I NEEDED to read this book. It made me realize that I have failed my child in some ways by not pushing for the therapies when he was diagnosed at the age of 5. He is now 11, and we've never gotten him into therapy. Now, don't get me wrong he is thriving and well. But maybe he would be able to communicate more if I had. All that being said, as Neal has proven, autistic children are resilient. They get frustrated and often lack patience when we don't understand them. But if we "listen" and "hear" their language and behaviors, we get to experience an amazing and enlightening world.

[Jessica Cawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of great perspectives here on raising an autistic boy (I’m also a mom to 2 autistic boys). As a book, this fell down a bit because it was poorly edited. There is a whole chapter on her wedding towards the end I found insufferable (what they ate, her diet leading up to it, who the photographer was). I lost a lot of respect for the book at several times like these, but I suppose a mom needs to feel like herself sometimes and be indulgent. Personally I read it to learn more about the boy, not a specific mom, but hey, it seemed therapeutic to her and we all need that.

Parts of the book also read like an advertisement for her professional, it’s a bit self indulgent at times.

[Michaela Clay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredible.

I'm looking into working with Autistic children and upon picking up this book I knew it would be special.

While I am not much of a religious person myself, Elaine Hall plummets you into the center of her life, her religion and family and makes you feel at home. You feel her pain and her joy and you learn so much about parenting and the "ability" within the "disability" that is Autism.

This book, to me, is the combination of What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Boyhood. Definitely a must read.

[Rahadyan · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I was put off by how Ms. Hall's seeming privilege made her journey easier than that of the many people I know who have a child with autism. Then I realized that her journey was only one journey and that I should focus on her efforts on behalf of her son, Neal.

Just finished this earlier today. Still processing how I feel about this book.

[Bettie Sanchez · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a mother will do for her child is amazing.

[Kerrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well worth the read from the perspective of one interested in spreading the word on how individualised services, learning and living is possible given the right resources and encouragement, as well as from the insight it gave me to the Jewish faith. And from one who loves learning from others biographies.
Sadly it took me so long to take the book from the shelf to read this book. Once I did though I didn't want to put it down.
It's peppered with insights into the film industry and what goes on behind the scenes as well as the main theme of how a mum brings up her child and the impact this has on a range of relationships; hers, her son's, his school mates, her friends etc.
I did get a little annoyed/frustrated with early references to 'special' kids as all kids are unique and have their own quirks, challenges, abilities and challenges. From the perspective of a lass who has grown up with a disability myself, and been involved in self-help groups linked to my own congenital disability, and who continues to now advocate with and on behalf of others this was annoying.
But I'm glad I persevered and came to overlook this.
Elaine, the mum/writer came to see that the secret to community is all about working together and not imposing one's own views on others.
I loved hearing examples of Neil expressing himself with his mum and the 'coaches' who we'd call support workers, joining Neil in his activities. (I now prefer the term coach.) I was so proud of him independently and safely walking home when his school refused to listen to him.
As Neil grows up his mum offers pithy snippets and cameos of a journey. She gives poignant tips that seem common sense once expressed, but comments and statements that far too many people just don't understand or even have an inkling of.
I'm off to explore the useful links at the end of the book and take a look at the youtube clip of the miracle group's play to decide if it was done as sensitively and person-centred as it seems or if my initial fears of it being what Stella Young called 'crip pawn' sensationalising the good and bad of life are highlighted.
The struggles of families faced with introducing difference into their traditions and family customs are covered in a range of ways and the fears and hopes of families dealt with sensitively.
I appreciated the insight into Yiddish traditions and customs some of which I knew of and others that were new to me. They are explained well with many old and new words given a fuller meaning. Again it is a case of ' see the good/look for the true meaning/don't assume perspective.
I'll be reading this again.
Like many readers, I suspect, I will also endeavour to focus more and more on 'enough is enough', 'I have done my best' and be less critical of others (and more of relevence - like Elaine, myself).
The openness of the writer explores many positive and negative lessons as she grows herself, just as her son blossoms into a young man. I see the moon, challenges readers to to look at life and see it in all it's various facets. Don't take things at face value.
Spend time. Be patient. Believe.If something seems too far away or unattainable don't give up. Persevere- yes, but be willing to change direction too. Stubbornness does not need to be pigheadedness. Realise the struggles, fears, hopes and desires of people who live with disability, be it themselves or their family, and don't do for, do with.
I'm keen to read how the young songsters, musicians and actors go in over the next period of their young lives and beyond.
Maybe Neil and his team will be the ones to reveal it.
ps Interestingly tomorrow night the moon is set to be a 'super moon' and the closest to us for the next 20 or so years. Another unique opportunity to glimpse possibilities and find the constant in life. And consider what truly is important to you and what is not negotiable or where compromise is to be considered.

[Elizabeth Desole · Rating 3 out of 5]

My daughter is a participant in The Miracle Project in Brooklyn so I was very interested in reading the founder's story. The organization really is remarkable and the performances I have seen have been so inspiring.
Although her story is quite remarkable, I had a really hard time dealing with the spiritual/religious aspect of the book. I just couldn't help the eye-rolling when she would go on about "angels". I was also put off by the Jewish support group linked to the original LA one. Our children are marginalized enough without making this amazing inclusive theater group seem like it's something for Jewish people only. Thank goodness the Brooklyn one is not that way (though I get the sense the Manhattan one might lean too much that way as well).
It was a fast-paced read though and did deal with a lot of issues I have dealt with as the child of an autistic child. I am really impressed with Elaine Hall.

[Iamshadow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first became aware of Elaine and Neal through the documentary Autism: The Musical, and when I discovered that Elaine had written a book I was pretty thrilled. Now I See The Moon does pretty well at filling in gaps that Autism: The Musical didn't go into. There's more detail about Neal's adoption and early years, but I particularly liked the detail after the documentary had been filmed; the information about where his life went, particularly regarding his blossoming communication and the brave steps Elaine took to find a schooling solution for Neal that respected his intelligence and worked with his strengths. If the book has any weakness it's that it feels too short, but maybe in a decade or so Neal will sit down and write his own story, filling the holes with his own observations and experiences.

[George Ilsley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Riding on the success of the documentary "Autism: The Musical", the director of the Miracle Project comes out with this (co-written) book. I wish I had just watched Autism: The Musical another couple of times instead of picking up this rambling memoir. One problem is the tense (always the present) which some believe is the only option for non-fiction (to make it immediate and gripping, is the theory). Sadly, this approach leads to some very awkward sentences (such as "On a recent day, I go on a hike") and a general failure to place the story into linear form. What is wrong with past tense for past events, I always ask myself. All in all, this book was a good idea, but lacking in execution.

[Tiffany]

What a great coming of age story, for both the mom and her son! This book has touched on what this family has gone through with not being able to have a child, then adopting a child from Russia, to soon finding out their adopted son has autism. I just think of so many visions this woman has had of her future and how every one of them has been shattered... As a teacher, it is such a gift to be able to catch a glimpse of what the parents and the children we are working with go through. This was a very inspirational and motivating book that allowed me to gain more perspective in my career and in life.

[B Detes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This candid story of one woman's journey to parent an adopted child with autism, dyspraxia and other related difficulties is a chronicle of fierce persistence. The dedication Hall has to her son is amazing. Many would have given up, but her perseverence humbles the reader and provides fresh hope. I loved how the book was set up in manageable pieces, so it was easy to pick up and put down at any time. Great, fluid read for anyone seeking to see what it is like to daily live with the challenges of parenting a child with any sort of autism spectrum disorder!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most powerful, inspirational and positive book I have yet read on autism. It encourages me to keep trying new techniques and really see my son for who he is - a loving, curious, bright boy. His autistic traits are just one part of his make-up and they equally provide heartbreaking frustrations and amazing talents.

[Ruth Conrad · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir tells about Elaine Hall's journey with her adopted son Neal, who has autism. I was previously introduced to her and Neal in the excellent documentary she put together, Autism: The Musical, which I found very moving.

[Marge · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is a woman who adopted a young male child from Russia, who turns out to be autistic. The book details the therapies and interventions that worked for their family and with other families she met.

[Debra Morris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked some parts of this book. The strategies she suggests for playing and for entering the world of an autistic child are insightful and helpful. I did find the book, at times, just too cloying. That could just be me.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Love the story but dislike the book. To me, it's very difficult to get past the less-than-amateur writing. However, what I do appreciate about the book is the positive perspective it portrays on autism.

[Maggie]

awesome book. inspirational! go read it.

[Kelli]

a powerful book...saw so much that was familiar. Borrowed this from the library, read it cover to cover, but I have to go out and buy it to keep. It was that good.

[Sarah Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think most readers might find some of the author's insights on her spiritual life too "New Age-y." But I commend her for putting her true self out there.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mother with an adopted son with autism.

[Carmela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opens ones mind to possibilities. It celebrates resilience, determination and love. I found it very touching and real.

[Rebecca Starr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What an incredible story with wonderful insight for all parents. Can't wait to lead the book club discussion on this one!

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

While not a "can't put it down" book, it does give a good view of autism.