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Muscle : The Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder
The Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder [Paperback] Fussell, Sam
254 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 1991
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
September 19, 2011
What a disturbing insight into the world of 1980's bodybuilding, full of steroids, stuffing and starvation, and style over substance. My psychologist colleague loaned me this book by Sam Fussell, an Oxford-educated English major who decides he's done being terrified of New York City's crime-ridden streets. He wanders into the local YMCA and begins lifting weights, intrigued by the huge men pumping iron, shouting obscenities, acting like they own the world. Months later, Sam has become one of them. He gives up his life to pursue muscle perfection, moving to southern California and meeting a fascinating cast of beefheads (to the detriment of his relationships with family and friends). Sam sacrifices even more of himself to enter bodybuilding competitions. Eventually the addiction runs its course and he becomes disillusioned, making a quick exit from this weighty world.
The author's attempts to explain why he was drawn to this bodybuilding didn't completely resonate with me. Why was he so much more frightened of being mugged than others in NYC? The classic emotional pain that can begin almost any addiction is present--Sam talks about disliking himself, wanting to hide who he really is beneath an armor of muscles--but I didn't get a good sense of why he hated himself. After reading Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood and The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession (both excellent books, by the way), I wonder if Sam faced bullying or some sort of abuse in his childhood.
This is a great quote about the joys of numbing out:
The gym was the one place I had control. I didn't have to speak, I didn't have to listen. I just had to push or pull. It was so much simpler, so much more satisfying than life outside. I regulated everything, from the number of exercises I performed each workout to the amount of weight I used for each exercise, from the number of reps per set to the number of sets per body part. It beat the street. It beat my girlfriend. It beat my family. I didn't have to think. I didn't have to care. I didn't have to feel. I simply had to lift. (p. 62)
It felt like the story ended abruptly and I want to know more about what motivated him to escape the addiction. I'd like to know how the author is faring these days. I hope he's not suffering health problems from steroid abuse. I hope he's learned better coping skills for managing painful feelings. I hope he's developed some quality relationships in his life.
As you can see, I grew to care about Sam Fussell. His story is likable, interesting, and compelling.
The author's attempts to explain why he was drawn to this bodybuilding didn't completely resonate with me. Why was he so much more frightened of being mugged than others in NYC? The classic emotional pain that can begin almost any addiction is present--Sam talks about disliking himself, wanting to hide who he really is beneath an armor of muscles--but I didn't get a good sense of why he hated himself. After reading Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood and The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession (both excellent books, by the way), I wonder if Sam faced bullying or some sort of abuse in his childhood.
This is a great quote about the joys of numbing out:
The gym was the one place I had control. I didn't have to speak, I didn't have to listen. I just had to push or pull. It was so much simpler, so much more satisfying than life outside. I regulated everything, from the number of exercises I performed each workout to the amount of weight I used for each exercise, from the number of reps per set to the number of sets per body part. It beat the street. It beat my girlfriend. It beat my family. I didn't have to think. I didn't have to care. I didn't have to feel. I simply had to lift. (p. 62)
It felt like the story ended abruptly and I want to know more about what motivated him to escape the addiction. I'd like to know how the author is faring these days. I hope he's not suffering health problems from steroid abuse. I hope he's learned better coping skills for managing painful feelings. I hope he's developed some quality relationships in his life.
As you can see, I grew to care about Sam Fussell. His story is likable, interesting, and compelling.
April 19, 2022
Clever portrait of his own descent into madness, or into subculture. The pain and the disgusting force-feeding would be enough, but on top of that there’s the steroids, the constant talcing and oiling, the insane fasting, the niacin overdose to make you flush all over, the injection of inflammatories... He openly depicts his bulking up as a tactic to face the violence and mania of New York, but he is soon swept into growth for growth’s sake. He hates himself, and for four years he takes hyperbolic vengeance on his body.
Weights were more stigmatised in the 80s, so part of this is an apologia, including many moments of giant generosity from his fellow meat-men. But most of it shows the grotesqueness of contorting a body like this, of forcing a life to be about one thing only, any one thing. (Only a very small part of the horror comes from Fussell - a sensitive perceptive Ivy League shoo-in - doing it.) The mental poverty of the lifter credo is yet another stricture.
You should not underestimate the psychological effects of exercise this intense. He becomes a swaggering, brutal loon within months; he stops doing anything at work:
It’s extremely well written, tasteful and droll and honest, and rammed full of unusual detail. But something is missing.
How much of the spiritual effects were from weights, from pharmaceuticals, or from simply overloading a devotion to something, anything?
I lift, but never like this. I don’t think I do anything so intensely. I, my style and viewpoint, would not survive it.
Lovely review by a scholar-lifter
Weights were more stigmatised in the 80s, so part of this is an apologia, including many moments of giant generosity from his fellow meat-men. But most of it shows the grotesqueness of contorting a body like this, of forcing a life to be about one thing only, any one thing. (Only a very small part of the horror comes from Fussell - a sensitive perceptive Ivy League shoo-in - doing it.) The mental poverty of the lifter credo is yet another stricture.
You should not underestimate the psychological effects of exercise this intense. He becomes a swaggering, brutal loon within months; he stops doing anything at work:
at work my muscular behavior became a cause of concern on the floor. It was the general consensus that I had gone too far. Way too far. Some could understand the need to “fill out,” as I put it, and gain a few pounds. But two hour sessions in the morning and two more hours at night, five meals a day, vitamin supplements, and protein shakes?
And if that wasn’t enough, well, there was the noise of my accouterments and the demands of my discipline. I installed an industrial-strength stainless steel blender in my cubicle for my shakes. I monopolized the floor’s sole refrigerator for my meats and milk and eggs, and continuously worked the microwave for a fresh feeding.
My cubicle, which I renamed The Growth Center, became a depot for desiccated beef liver tablets, multivitamin packs, bag after bag of branch-chain amino acids, cartons of Carboplex (a carbohydrate concentrate), and protein powder. What with the magazines and the canon scattered across the floor, the whole place was a muscle minefield, but I didn’t see it that way, not then. Not when I was caught in the full raging force of “the disease.”
... Childhood friends called me in consternation. Apparently, my folly was so spectacular, so profoundly perverse, that even they had gotten wind of it. It was worse, somehow, than enlisting in the Marines or buying finger cymbals and joining the Hare Krishnas.
... “Hasn’t it ever crossed your mind that this whole enterprise is rather vulgar? Is it your parents you want to hurt? Is that it? Is it your friends? Are you waiting for this to appear in the Alumni Notes? Goddamnit, why not do something with your life you can really be proud of?”
... “My physical metamorphosis had brought with it a completely different way of perceiving the world and my place in it... I had needed an attitude adjustment. And I don’t know exactly when the transformation happened—all I can say is that it did. Without being fully aware of it myself, I became the kind of man I had once feared and despised. I became, in fact, a bully...
Then, my manner of speech. It had been too tame before, too timid. No wonder I never got my way in life. I went from answering the phone meekly to shrieking “SPEAK!” into the receiver on the first ring
It’s extremely well written, tasteful and droll and honest, and rammed full of unusual detail. But something is missing.
How much of the spiritual effects were from weights, from pharmaceuticals, or from simply overloading a devotion to something, anything?
I lift, but never like this. I don’t think I do anything so intensely. I, my style and viewpoint, would not survive it.
Lovely review by a scholar-lifter
May 29, 2024
Still processing how I feel about it. Wildly problematic and compulsively readable, all at once.
December 30, 2015
A fascinating little memoir about Sam Fussell's foray into body-building in the late 1980's. From 1985-1988 he was a dedicated body builder. According to Sam he felt weak and ineffectual and body building was his attempt to protect himself from the world by putting on a protective armor of muscle. He submerged himself totally into the world of bodybuilding and "Muscle" is about his experiences as one of the denizens of the sub-culture. The son of famed scholar Paul Fussell ,and a graduate of Harvard, this little memoir is definitely the product of a "Serious" writer educated at one of the most prestigious universities in the United States. I recall after this book was published it was severely criticized by those who knew Fussell from his time as a bodybuilder. There were accusations of lies and exaggerations and they were angry with him. This is a possibility and there is an edge of nastiness to the book. The observations have a catty feel. At times Fussell's writing feels like the work of a rather snooty intellectual looking down on the lower class and I am not a bodybuilder. An interesting book, but I did find myself wondering if Fussell joined the world of muscle worshipers for book material. An attempt to show his father that he too was a writer. If this was the case then this would call into question how truthful the book really is and lends credence to the critics. I give it three stars because it is a very readable book, but I have reservations.
July 14, 2024
Bodybuilders fascinate me. It’s a sport that defies categorization. It is an aesthetic based sport, in contrast to most performance based ones, that requires the utmost commitment and dedication, to the point of collecting mental health issues like candy ( eating disorders, body dysmorphia and drug addiction), in order to transform yourself into a body type that most regular people would find grotesque. Bodybuilders would claim they are chasing a classical ideal of an optimal physique typified by the great sculptures of Ancient Greece. But the reality is that, with the advent of anabolic steroids, the aesthetic goals have moved on. The top bodybuilders are muscular in ways that are completely different than what you could even have imagined a hundred years ago.
Despite the drugs though, the amount of training and dedication to get to the top is otherworldly. All of this is explored in Fussell’s memoir of his descent into the world of bodybuilding. He’s the only writer I’ve seen capture the beauty and pleasure of lifting weights, but at the same time is honest about the difficult and horrible nature of the serious side of bodybuilding. You get an up close and personal look at the never ending volumes of food he ate, the side effects of the drugs he was taking, and the debilitating dysmorphia of never feeling like you’re big or cut enough.
My main critique about this book was that there were many passages that seemed exaggerated to the point of absurdity. Some could argue they were for comedic effect, I’d say they just seemed ridiculous in context. For example, he mentioned that when a coworker offered to open the door for him, he took offence and with his newfound strength, he threw him through an office door?? This wasn’t isolated too. There were examples of this throughout.
Overall though, Fussell is actually a decent writer, better than most sports writers. It isn’t amazing prose throughout, but there were a few passages that achieved a level of brilliance that was very pleasurable. I would recommend this, but I am going to admit that this probably won’t hold your attention if you’re not into bodybuilding or weightlifting. If you are though, this might become your favourite book.
Despite the drugs though, the amount of training and dedication to get to the top is otherworldly. All of this is explored in Fussell’s memoir of his descent into the world of bodybuilding. He’s the only writer I’ve seen capture the beauty and pleasure of lifting weights, but at the same time is honest about the difficult and horrible nature of the serious side of bodybuilding. You get an up close and personal look at the never ending volumes of food he ate, the side effects of the drugs he was taking, and the debilitating dysmorphia of never feeling like you’re big or cut enough.
My main critique about this book was that there were many passages that seemed exaggerated to the point of absurdity. Some could argue they were for comedic effect, I’d say they just seemed ridiculous in context. For example, he mentioned that when a coworker offered to open the door for him, he took offence and with his newfound strength, he threw him through an office door?? This wasn’t isolated too. There were examples of this throughout.
Overall though, Fussell is actually a decent writer, better than most sports writers. It isn’t amazing prose throughout, but there were a few passages that achieved a level of brilliance that was very pleasurable. I would recommend this, but I am going to admit that this probably won’t hold your attention if you’re not into bodybuilding or weightlifting. If you are though, this might become your favourite book.
September 23, 2023
This is my second time reading this—the first was around 20 years ago. It's a fun, relatively easy read that does an admirable job getting to the core of why some people devote themselves to a particular pursuit (in this case, bodybuilding). And there's surprising depth throughout (perhaps not surprising given the author's academic pedigree and bona fides).
It's worth noting that at this point the bodybuilding and gym world being described by the author is decades old. There are some commonalities, but gym culture is very different today—as is bodybuilding, and the comparative openness and honesty around drug usage.
But as a record of earlier days, and an exploration of monomania and the physical sensations of being strong, this remains a great read. It may be describing a somewhat vanished world, but—like Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential—it's fun for both insiders and outsiders to get a glimpse of this.
It's worth noting that at this point the bodybuilding and gym world being described by the author is decades old. There are some commonalities, but gym culture is very different today—as is bodybuilding, and the comparative openness and honesty around drug usage.
But as a record of earlier days, and an exploration of monomania and the physical sensations of being strong, this remains a great read. It may be describing a somewhat vanished world, but—like Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential—it's fun for both insiders and outsiders to get a glimpse of this.
November 28, 2022
This was quite a journey.
February 21, 2023
ok that was so, so wild lol. bodybuilding is wild! a man's ego death is wild!! roids are wild!!
September 23, 2011
I absolutely loved this book. The people that the author runs into in this book are people I have seen, (or a reasonable fascimile).
What really got me was when this extremely well educated bodybuilder stops working his lucrative literary job and takes a job as a trainer at a gym. And why not? I have worked with a lot of bouncers who took jobs in clubs because they figured they would be there anyway, why not get paid for it? I have a friend who now works as a trainer at a gym, even though he is well educated and could do a far more lucrative job. But he liked the weights, he works out multiple times a day, and he doesn't want to be too far away from the weights. His life revolves around building his body and his clients bodies.
That sort of dedication blows me away. As does the concept of taking steroids, (that give you acne, cause you to lose your hair, makes you insane, and cause your bits to shrivel), spray tans that get all over everything, and starving yourself to get that vascular paper thin skin look that shows off all of your muscles to the maximum. It blows me away, but I understand it. I understand people dropping everything and focusing on the one thing that is most important to them. I both admire it and look down on it. I admire the dedication but feel the lack of well-roundedness is unfathomable.
One part of the book that really stuck with me was the scene where the author was at competition. There was a celebrity bodybuilder there and he was doing arm curls while staring into space. His expression of someone who has done this a million times before and will do it a million more times. It had a horrible sense of finality to it that makes you wonder, why? Is it worth is to spend 8 hours every day working on weights and the rest of the time calculating your protein intake?
An absolutely amazing book!
What really got me was when this extremely well educated bodybuilder stops working his lucrative literary job and takes a job as a trainer at a gym. And why not? I have worked with a lot of bouncers who took jobs in clubs because they figured they would be there anyway, why not get paid for it? I have a friend who now works as a trainer at a gym, even though he is well educated and could do a far more lucrative job. But he liked the weights, he works out multiple times a day, and he doesn't want to be too far away from the weights. His life revolves around building his body and his clients bodies.
That sort of dedication blows me away. As does the concept of taking steroids, (that give you acne, cause you to lose your hair, makes you insane, and cause your bits to shrivel), spray tans that get all over everything, and starving yourself to get that vascular paper thin skin look that shows off all of your muscles to the maximum. It blows me away, but I understand it. I understand people dropping everything and focusing on the one thing that is most important to them. I both admire it and look down on it. I admire the dedication but feel the lack of well-roundedness is unfathomable.
One part of the book that really stuck with me was the scene where the author was at competition. There was a celebrity bodybuilder there and he was doing arm curls while staring into space. His expression of someone who has done this a million times before and will do it a million more times. It had a horrible sense of finality to it that makes you wonder, why? Is it worth is to spend 8 hours every day working on weights and the rest of the time calculating your protein intake?
An absolutely amazing book!
June 27, 2016
Ever want to get inside the head of an obsessed bodybuilder? Want to know how insane we can be and what drives us? This is a perfect book for that. Although sometimes it gets some things wrong, like how we are all superficial ,the obsessive mentality holds true. Out of all the anecdotal details and stories of this book I actually know many similar things that have happened. It's not as crazy as it sounds. Even if you think bodybuilding is stupid and don't know anything about it this is still a great fun read. It will bring you into our world a little bit. As a jacked dude(I prefer to refer to myself as "muscled American" though) I could relate to a lot of the characters and circumstances in this book . If you love bodybuilding or just want to find out what the whole obsession is about and what we are like you got to read this book.
December 30, 2015
An interesting tale of what it takes to become (and stay) a bodybuilder. Not the guys and gals who just work out to get some definition, but the guys and gals who work out as living, who enter the contests, who destroy their bodies in the effort to become anatomy lessons. I didn't know there was a huge lexicon specific to the obsession, nor did I know they starve themselves before a competition. Crazy and fascinating.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 21, 2017
i read this book back in 2008, but i only got around to writing about it a few days ago. check out my piece in the paris review, which covers other bodybuilding classics as well:
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2...
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2...
July 28, 2016
The horrors behind professional bodybuilding. It was so interesting, I put all other books on hold.
July 15, 2019
Muscle is a fascinating account of the bodybuilding world and, in lots of ways, of motivation and obsession more generally. Parts of it -- different parts -- will resonate with anyone who has gotten deeply involved in anything out of the mainstream ("What are you doing with your life?"), anyone who has done serious athletic training of any kind, anyone interested in understanding why athletes dope or why people obsess over their bodies. Fussell writes well and with enough self-critical reflection for the reader to hum along with a mixture of sympathy, pity, and appreciation.
I had thought of this book as an optional reading for a social science course on wellness, and I might use it at a later iteration. What would be particularly awesome for teaching purposes is the focus on men's bodies. Body image concerns are gendered in our society, so it can be helpful for teaching purposes to change the focus. (An obvious point: "man" is a gender, too.)
Why not more stars, then? One, the self-reflection rings a bit shallow and hollow at times. There's a snootiness that Fussell, the Oxford-educated East Coast WASP, tries to overcome, but can't entirely. Two, he admits to lying glibly about himself so many times he practically invites the reader to question the story. Memoirs and narrative non-fiction need not be the strict truth, but you do wonder, especially as the narrative seems really selective. (It's also selective in a way that you wish he had taken a course on narrative non-fiction. Timelines blur, things happen, locations and histories tangle.)
Three, and more important for me at least, the misogyny gets in the way. Sure, the book is a bit dated, and, sure, the focus on these guys being utterly obsessed with their bodies is great to read about, but it's a bit hard to develop sympathy for Fussell when his relationships with and descriptions of women -- the very few there are -- radiate contempt.
Four, ditto for homophobia. It's interesting to realize that Fussell was actually probably more comfortable with gays and lesbians than I was in 1988 (when I lived about a mile from where he appears to have lived in South Pasadena, incidentally) but the easy contempt for gays also gets in the way of my appreciating the book.
These last two points suggest that the book suffers from a "too close but too far" problem: it's our world he lives in and describes, in most ways, but also sufficiently distant to create that uncanny valley.
Finally, and five, the ambivalent athlete in me reacts. Dude, you pursued this thing for four years, did three competitions, the first of which was not even in your sport (powerlifting ain't bodybuilding, as you nicely describe), did well but not perfect in all, and you quit after that? (This is not a spoiler. We know this from the start.) Don't get me wrong. I personally find bodybuilding profoundly creepy, and having done research and published on the complexities of doping, continue to find it wrong. But I get a serious pursuit of success. The book demonstrates lots of reasons for why Fussell would quit, but none about why he quit when he did.
So that's the missing bit. Now he is no George Plimpton; it ain't about dabbling and then returning to one's WASPy comforts. We do get that at the end of the new editions. But while I understood why he got into building, I don't get why he got out.
I had thought of this book as an optional reading for a social science course on wellness, and I might use it at a later iteration. What would be particularly awesome for teaching purposes is the focus on men's bodies. Body image concerns are gendered in our society, so it can be helpful for teaching purposes to change the focus. (An obvious point: "man" is a gender, too.)
Why not more stars, then? One, the self-reflection rings a bit shallow and hollow at times. There's a snootiness that Fussell, the Oxford-educated East Coast WASP, tries to overcome, but can't entirely. Two, he admits to lying glibly about himself so many times he practically invites the reader to question the story. Memoirs and narrative non-fiction need not be the strict truth, but you do wonder, especially as the narrative seems really selective. (It's also selective in a way that you wish he had taken a course on narrative non-fiction. Timelines blur, things happen, locations and histories tangle.)
Three, and more important for me at least, the misogyny gets in the way. Sure, the book is a bit dated, and, sure, the focus on these guys being utterly obsessed with their bodies is great to read about, but it's a bit hard to develop sympathy for Fussell when his relationships with and descriptions of women -- the very few there are -- radiate contempt.
Four, ditto for homophobia. It's interesting to realize that Fussell was actually probably more comfortable with gays and lesbians than I was in 1988 (when I lived about a mile from where he appears to have lived in South Pasadena, incidentally) but the easy contempt for gays also gets in the way of my appreciating the book.
These last two points suggest that the book suffers from a "too close but too far" problem: it's our world he lives in and describes, in most ways, but also sufficiently distant to create that uncanny valley.
Finally, and five, the ambivalent athlete in me reacts. Dude, you pursued this thing for four years, did three competitions, the first of which was not even in your sport (powerlifting ain't bodybuilding, as you nicely describe), did well but not perfect in all, and you quit after that? (This is not a spoiler. We know this from the start.) Don't get me wrong. I personally find bodybuilding profoundly creepy, and having done research and published on the complexities of doping, continue to find it wrong. But I get a serious pursuit of success. The book demonstrates lots of reasons for why Fussell would quit, but none about why he quit when he did.
So that's the missing bit. Now he is no George Plimpton; it ain't about dabbling and then returning to one's WASPy comforts. We do get that at the end of the new editions. But while I understood why he got into building, I don't get why he got out.
May 7, 2020
A good book, but not a great one. This is a funny and yet disturbing look at the bodybuilding scene from the late 1980's, and it hasn't gotten much better since, if the reports are true.
Fussell, tall, skinny, full of self-doubt and self-loathing, apparently for his wimpish ways, lives in New York and turns to bodybuilding as a means of survival and a way of shutting himself off from the rest of the world. The first half of the book is actually quite fascinating: his early days, his initial introduction into the world of bodybuilding, his growth, and his acceptance of what he had to do in order to succeed. It doesn't give much in the way of why he was scared of New York to begin with. Nothing of his childhood, perhaps demanding parents, and a complex he may have developed (and I'm guessing here), but it's still an entertaining look into the process.
The book falls down in the latter half, mainly because of the constant negativity toward the people he called his friends. I'm inclined to think that Nimrod, Bamm-Bamm, and Vinnie are composites as opposed to real people--not so sure about Lamar and his father, Macon--because no one could be that shallow and ignorant, could they? Maybe so, according to Fussell. They come across as caricatures, and nothing more.
Another negative is the writing style. For a well-educated individual, Fussell's style isn't that much better than that of a high school senior. Some passages are extremely well-written--mainly when he's examining his raison d'etre for getting into all this--while others are barely passable.
He also gets a few things wrong, mainly about Paul Anderson, the great Olympic lifter and legendary strongman. Fussell alleges that steroid use damaged Anderson's kidney, necessitating a transplant. Not true. Anderson was born with Bright's Disease (nephritis) which damages kidneys in those who never lift weights and never use steroids.
He is correct, though, that the use of the juice back then was horrific in many cases. It's been about twenty years since this book was written, and if the reports of people juicing up today are true, then the situation is even worse.
While it is a good effort, it falls short of what I expected it to be. I did think his entrance into powerlifting (a bench-press competition) and two bodybuilding contests was quite well done, and that helped save the book. If memory serves, the gentleman who won the second contest that Fussell entered was arrested for murder, although I could be wrong.
Overall, a good read for me, but not a great one.
Fussell, tall, skinny, full of self-doubt and self-loathing, apparently for his wimpish ways, lives in New York and turns to bodybuilding as a means of survival and a way of shutting himself off from the rest of the world. The first half of the book is actually quite fascinating: his early days, his initial introduction into the world of bodybuilding, his growth, and his acceptance of what he had to do in order to succeed. It doesn't give much in the way of why he was scared of New York to begin with. Nothing of his childhood, perhaps demanding parents, and a complex he may have developed (and I'm guessing here), but it's still an entertaining look into the process.
The book falls down in the latter half, mainly because of the constant negativity toward the people he called his friends. I'm inclined to think that Nimrod, Bamm-Bamm, and Vinnie are composites as opposed to real people--not so sure about Lamar and his father, Macon--because no one could be that shallow and ignorant, could they? Maybe so, according to Fussell. They come across as caricatures, and nothing more.
Another negative is the writing style. For a well-educated individual, Fussell's style isn't that much better than that of a high school senior. Some passages are extremely well-written--mainly when he's examining his raison d'etre for getting into all this--while others are barely passable.
He also gets a few things wrong, mainly about Paul Anderson, the great Olympic lifter and legendary strongman. Fussell alleges that steroid use damaged Anderson's kidney, necessitating a transplant. Not true. Anderson was born with Bright's Disease (nephritis) which damages kidneys in those who never lift weights and never use steroids.
He is correct, though, that the use of the juice back then was horrific in many cases. It's been about twenty years since this book was written, and if the reports of people juicing up today are true, then the situation is even worse.
While it is a good effort, it falls short of what I expected it to be. I did think his entrance into powerlifting (a bench-press competition) and two bodybuilding contests was quite well done, and that helped save the book. If memory serves, the gentleman who won the second contest that Fussell entered was arrested for murder, although I could be wrong.
Overall, a good read for me, but not a great one.
July 7, 2022
This memoir is essentially one mans critical exploration of his own obsessive use of bodybuilding as compensation for... well, stuff he maybe would have been better served to talk to a therapist about? I didn't think of it before writing that sentence, but this book is very much an embodiment of that meme going around about how men will do literally anything rather than go to therapy.
Anyway. I really appreciated this book in many ways. Fussell is ruthlessly honest in his assessment of his past self, but not in a hateful "my past self was a fucking idiot" kind of way. He just sees his own insecurities and weaknesses and acknowledges them openly - but not unkindly. The book is also a fascinating look into bodybuilding as a subculture, and its history (albeit through a very specific lens). I especially appreciated the depiction of "fish out of water" cultural slashing between Fussell and the builders he met (I honestly would have liked a bit more exploration of this, especially the way class certainly played a role in this dynamic). On top of this I think it's just a well-written and interesting memior.
I do think that it's easy to read an account like this and let it reinforce certain stereotypes about bodybuilders and their assumed shared deficiencies. But I don't think the story being told is the only version possible - quite a few people have successfully devoted years and years to bodybuilding without obessively sacrificing their souls in the process. Unfortunately the final chapter of the book gave slight "holier than thou" vibes, as Fussell reflected on his own transition out of bodybuilding - and his bodybuilding comrades who kept at it. The impression this chapter gave me as I was reading it was a "we were all seduced by the false promise of bodybuilding and lost our souls, but in the end I saw the light and they didn't". Of course, others might read it differently, and I don't necessarily think that he intended to send that message, but it's what I personally got from it. And it sits uncomfortably with me. Training for hypertrophy (and even aesthetics) doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it's perfectly possible to do so in a way that only adds to your quality of life, and isn't just compensation for whatever inner weakness you're not ready to face.
Ultimately the sense I get from this book was "I was obsessed with bodybuilding for four years, and it was a massive mistake and I should have just faced my self-loathing head-on instead of trying to escape it by changing my body." And that is of course a perfectly valid experience to have. In the end I just craved a bit more nuance. A bit more "but also, the endless hours at the gym developed my capacity to push through boredom to achieve a desired outcome" or "seeing how completely I'd changed my external self helped me realize that I could maybe make some changes to my internal reality" or something. Some both/and to lighten up the sense of doom and madness. Because frankly, I don't believe that there was nothing positive gained from this experience.
As per usual, once I start writing a review it turns into a rant about what I didn't like, but I want to make it very clear that I did very much enjoy it, and I do recommend it. I just don't have much to say about the things I liked.
Anyway. I really appreciated this book in many ways. Fussell is ruthlessly honest in his assessment of his past self, but not in a hateful "my past self was a fucking idiot" kind of way. He just sees his own insecurities and weaknesses and acknowledges them openly - but not unkindly. The book is also a fascinating look into bodybuilding as a subculture, and its history (albeit through a very specific lens). I especially appreciated the depiction of "fish out of water" cultural slashing between Fussell and the builders he met (I honestly would have liked a bit more exploration of this, especially the way class certainly played a role in this dynamic). On top of this I think it's just a well-written and interesting memior.
I do think that it's easy to read an account like this and let it reinforce certain stereotypes about bodybuilders and their assumed shared deficiencies. But I don't think the story being told is the only version possible - quite a few people have successfully devoted years and years to bodybuilding without obessively sacrificing their souls in the process. Unfortunately the final chapter of the book gave slight "holier than thou" vibes, as Fussell reflected on his own transition out of bodybuilding - and his bodybuilding comrades who kept at it. The impression this chapter gave me as I was reading it was a "we were all seduced by the false promise of bodybuilding and lost our souls, but in the end I saw the light and they didn't". Of course, others might read it differently, and I don't necessarily think that he intended to send that message, but it's what I personally got from it. And it sits uncomfortably with me. Training for hypertrophy (and even aesthetics) doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it's perfectly possible to do so in a way that only adds to your quality of life, and isn't just compensation for whatever inner weakness you're not ready to face.
Ultimately the sense I get from this book was "I was obsessed with bodybuilding for four years, and it was a massive mistake and I should have just faced my self-loathing head-on instead of trying to escape it by changing my body." And that is of course a perfectly valid experience to have. In the end I just craved a bit more nuance. A bit more "but also, the endless hours at the gym developed my capacity to push through boredom to achieve a desired outcome" or "seeing how completely I'd changed my external self helped me realize that I could maybe make some changes to my internal reality" or something. Some both/and to lighten up the sense of doom and madness. Because frankly, I don't believe that there was nothing positive gained from this experience.
As per usual, once I start writing a review it turns into a rant about what I didn't like, but I want to make it very clear that I did very much enjoy it, and I do recommend it. I just don't have much to say about the things I liked.
September 22, 2017
Just finished reading "MUSCLE: CONFESSIONS OF AN UNLIKELY BODYBUILDER" by SAMUEL FUSSELL. I read this book while listening to the audible version narrated by L.J. GANSER. This was the second time I read this; first time for my husband. A hilarious and harrowing firsthand account of the eccentric world of hardcore bodybuilding.
When blue-blooded, storklike Samuel Wilson Fussell arrived in New York City fresh from the University of Oxford, the ethereal young graduate seemed like the last person on Earth who would be interested in bodybuilding. But he was intimidated by the dangers of the city—and decided to do something about it. At twenty-six, Fussell walked into the YMCA gym. Four solid years of intensive training, protein powders, and steroid injections later, he had gained eighty pounds of pure muscle and was competing for bodybuilding titles.
And yet, with forearms like bowling pins and calves like watermelons, Fussell felt weaker than ever before. His punishing regimen of workouts, drugs, and diet had reduced him to near-infant-like helplessness and immobility, leaving him hungry, nauseated, and prone to outbursts of “ ’roid rage.” But he had come to succeed, and there was no backing down now.
Alternately funny and fascinating, Muscle is the true story of one man’s obsession with the pursuit of perfection. With insight, wit, and refreshing candor, Fussell ushers readers into the wild world of juicers and gym rats who sacrifice their lives, minds, bodies, and souls to their dreams of glory in Southern California’s so-called iron mecca. EXCELLENT READ!
When blue-blooded, storklike Samuel Wilson Fussell arrived in New York City fresh from the University of Oxford, the ethereal young graduate seemed like the last person on Earth who would be interested in bodybuilding. But he was intimidated by the dangers of the city—and decided to do something about it. At twenty-six, Fussell walked into the YMCA gym. Four solid years of intensive training, protein powders, and steroid injections later, he had gained eighty pounds of pure muscle and was competing for bodybuilding titles.
And yet, with forearms like bowling pins and calves like watermelons, Fussell felt weaker than ever before. His punishing regimen of workouts, drugs, and diet had reduced him to near-infant-like helplessness and immobility, leaving him hungry, nauseated, and prone to outbursts of “ ’roid rage.” But he had come to succeed, and there was no backing down now.
Alternately funny and fascinating, Muscle is the true story of one man’s obsession with the pursuit of perfection. With insight, wit, and refreshing candor, Fussell ushers readers into the wild world of juicers and gym rats who sacrifice their lives, minds, bodies, and souls to their dreams of glory in Southern California’s so-called iron mecca. EXCELLENT READ!
February 18, 2023
An interesting read as there are so few people with Fussell’s experience who are willing to divulge, particularly the use of anabolic steroids and its effects. Fussell is essentially an educated and academic 20-something who just happens to be 6’4”. And though he is quite lanky at the time, he’s blessed with the genetics to build his body to extremes.
Bodybuilding takes over his life and he abandons so many of his old values, family, and friends in pursuit of his obsession for more muscles. What makes the book work is that he writes with the perspective of the academic he is and of someone who eventually burnt out on the lifestyle.
I was particularly curious as to the effects of steroids and I would have liked to read even more on how his life turned out, but the book was written in 1991 which was pretty much the time he checked out of the lifestyle.
Fussell sheds light not only to his own obsession but to what many of us would consider absurd sacrifices that bodybuilders make for “gains”. I imagine this book would scare people away from the sport and the lifestyle, more than anything.
Bodybuilding takes over his life and he abandons so many of his old values, family, and friends in pursuit of his obsession for more muscles. What makes the book work is that he writes with the perspective of the academic he is and of someone who eventually burnt out on the lifestyle.
I was particularly curious as to the effects of steroids and I would have liked to read even more on how his life turned out, but the book was written in 1991 which was pretty much the time he checked out of the lifestyle.
Fussell sheds light not only to his own obsession but to what many of us would consider absurd sacrifices that bodybuilders make for “gains”. I imagine this book would scare people away from the sport and the lifestyle, more than anything.
October 11, 2020
I picked this book up after I met and spent an hour talking with Sam Fussell in Montana - and what a fascinating character he is, in real life and in print: son of two writers (his father won a non-fiction National Book Award, his mother was a chef and food writer). He graduated from Oxford and anticipated going to Yale Law School, and started working for Random House in New York, where he took up weight-lifting out of concern for his personal safety on the streets and subways. This is the story of, and reflection upon, his four years of training as a competitive body builder, evolving into a thoroughly immersed, drugged up, Southern California tournament competitor. His journey into that world was relatively short but overwhelmingly intense, and when he finally walked away from it he embarked on journeys into other unique adventures, which hopefully will be told in further writings.
June 6, 2024
What you read about in this book can be seen as ridiculous, but it’s not presented as such. Sam Fussell is not a condescending pseud, and his life after this book is just as fascinating as the part of his life documented here. There’s a line in Roger Ebert’s review of the original Point Break, which describes the type of character I find most interesting in stories: "They aren't men of action, but men of thought who choose action as a way of expressing their beliefs.” Sam Fussell is one such man, as were Mishima and the Ultimate Warrior.
July 12, 2023
Rating: r profanity. Off page sex (very short), pornography description, drug use
Recommend: older hs and adult. Be prepared for a gritty look at the bodybuilding world.
I found this book because of a search for updated informations books to purchase for a secondary library. This is not it. A) not updated and b) not for students. But. Fascinating, well written, engaging and informative. But be ready for all the things. Obsessed people can be kind of gross, and fussell describes it all.
Recommend: older hs and adult. Be prepared for a gritty look at the bodybuilding world.
I found this book because of a search for updated informations books to purchase for a secondary library. This is not it. A) not updated and b) not for students. But. Fascinating, well written, engaging and informative. But be ready for all the things. Obsessed people can be kind of gross, and fussell describes it all.
March 15, 2018
I've no idea what made me pick this up. I've got no interest in bodybuilding or exercise. Probably my interest in different subcultures. Quite an old book, written in the 80's when only homosexuals and bouncers did serious bodybuilding, I suspect it'd be a very different picture today. I enjoyed it though.
March 11, 2019
This was an entertaining read. As someone who got caught up in the lifting lifestyle until I got injured, it was enjoyable for me to read someone else's perspective on the life of a body builder. Fussell does a great job of bringing the mindset of a lifter down to a level that someone who has never participated in the sport can relate to. I highly recommend this book.
December 30, 2023
First read this over 20 years ago and it remains my single favourite book on bodybuilding. I read it at least once every 7 years and learn/enjoy something from it every time.
Watch my Youtube analysis and review of it here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NHVA... - Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gbON... - Part 2
Watch my Youtube analysis and review of it here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NHVA... - Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gbON... - Part 2
June 24, 2024
Fascinating insight into bodybuilding culture / psychology / potentiallt toxic masculinity of the 1980s. Dated and uncomfortable but lots of face validity to the analysis. Parts of it were thin in terms of the deeper storyline but he described the experiences in enough detail to understand some of the generalizable traits of similarly addicted folks.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 23, 2024
Muy bien escrito, opino que el autor revela más de lo que quiere en algunas partes, me faltó que me llevara más por el proceso mental y la caída antes de llegar a su reflexión. La vida real a veces es así, cambias, no por un episodio intenso que provoque una cascada emocional, sino que simplemente te apetece hacer otra cosa.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 12, 2025
If you have ever worked out and toyed with the idea of becoming a bodybuilder, then you should read this book. Sam's experiences in this eccentric world where people seek the perfect physique even to the detriment of their health are often hilarious, and deeply sad at the same time. This memoir is thought-provoking and bizarre, what a shame this is Sam's only book.
March 12, 2025
Very entertaining. Great glimpse into the bodybuilding culture of the 80s/90s. I found this when I was reading this article by Camille Paglia
Catching up on my reviews, I read this sometime last year.
Short, very easy to read.
Catching up on my reviews, I read this sometime last year.
Short, very easy to read.
August 25, 2021
A page Turner
If you love going to the gym or have even ever looked at a bodybuilding magazine, this book is for you. Loved every minute of this. So much information about what happens with bodybuilders and the role these guys take to become who they are. Loved it!
If you love going to the gym or have even ever looked at a bodybuilding magazine, this book is for you. Loved every minute of this. So much information about what happens with bodybuilders and the role these guys take to become who they are. Loved it!
October 5, 2022
Best bodybuilding book I’ve read
Absolute blast reading this book. This guy really is well composed and tells a great story. I found myself reading before bed and staying up late quite a few nights
Absolute blast reading this book. This guy really is well composed and tells a great story. I found myself reading before bed and staying up late quite a few nights
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