Saying It Out Loud

by Joan Abelove

For fans of Lurlene McDaniel, this is a heartwrenching chronicle of a teen girl's experiences with her mother's brain cancer, based on the author's own life

Mindy has always relied upon her mother-to listen to her, to ease the tension between Mindy and her withdrawn father, to love her. Then her mother is diagnosed with a brain tumor. After her surgery, she is no longer a laughing, lively presence. She has lost the power of speech, and her memory-and Mindy has lost her mother forever. Based upon Joan Abelove's own life, here is the wrenching story of a girl losing her mother early, a girl with a father who will not acknowledge what is going on-a girl who could have been you, or someone you know.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Drama, Contemporary

144 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Joan Abelove is an American writer of young adult novels. She attended Barnard College and has a Ph.D in cultural anthropology from the City University of New York. She spent two years in the jungles of Peru as part of her doctoral research and used the experience as background for her first novel, Go and Come Back (1998). Go and Come Back earned numerous awards and citations, including a "Best Books for Young Adults" selection of the American Library Association and "Book Prize Finalist" selection of the Los Angeles Times. she also wrote Saying it Out Loud. She is also in a critique group with Gail Carson Levine, writer of "Ella Enchanted" and "Writing Magic", a guide for child authors who wish to make their stories better. Joan Abelove now lives in New York city with her husband and son.

Reviews

[Izzy B · Rating 5 out of 5]

IM SOBBING :(

[Amanda Rabbers · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED!!!! Read it this morning! It's so beautiful. I laughed, I cried, I laughed-cried. Every woman should read this. I think no matter who you are or your relationship with your mom currently or in your past, you will some how connect with this book.

[Squeaky · Rating 4 out of 5]

A high school girl deals with the death of her mother. I was taken with the seven instances of the "S..." word, all in one paragraph. A really good book, probably because I identified with her a bit.

[Ting · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a story that had reminded me of my unconsiderable behavior toward my mother who was diagnosed of breast cancer. Though she's heathy now, Ill try my best of the best to be a good daughter.

[Angelashufen · Rating 4 out of 5]

After I read it, I called my Mother. I felt I am so sorry to hurt her.

[Amy Wang · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was very emotional. It had a tearful plot and ending. But the rest of the story was like a life experience.

[Emily]

Made me nostalgic, like I want to move back into my childhood home someday and preserve every single memory I can.

[Katie L. 5 Losee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Saying it Out Loud, written by Joan Abelove is a short book, based on a true story, about a young girl who is best friends with her very own mother. Mindy and her mother have shared so many memories together, but it all goes downhill when Mindy’s mother is diagnosed with a brain tumor. Mindy has to learn to cope with her mother’s condition, her family’s reactions, and her own thoughts. This book was very “one-toned” and that tone was depressing. While I was reading this book, I imagined the scenes colorless. Other than how depressing this book is, it is also very repetitive. It felt like the same two or three chapters were going in an endless round, some of the chapters even used the exact same words which made me feel like I was experiencing deja vu. It didn’t give much detail as to what the surroundings looked like, what the characters look like, or their personalities, maybe if the book was longer, then it would be a little better on detail. The characters don’t connect with the reader at all and don’t show any emotion except a shallow sadness. And it didn’t exactly come to a conclusion, let alone a good conclusion. I may be criticizing this book too hard, but it does show good characteristics of a good mother-daughter relationship and good family relationships. The theme of this book is, don’t take what you have to granted.

[Camille Vargas · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a16 yo's account of what life was when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. We all went through different phases with our parents: they were our superheroes when we were little where they can make everything alright and they're the smartest people we know; they become our biggest embarrassments when we were in school; they are the most unfair monsters during our teenage years who don't seem to get anything; then we grow up and mature and we realize we still need them and no one can really love us like they do. But sometimes we don't get the chance to reciprocate.
This book was based on the author's personal life and it was engaging from page 1 to ~130.
The pain, anger, resentment,confusion, and grief of were real because this could happen to anyone.
This would make you swallow your pride and go hug your parents.

[Izzy Brusic · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was pretty good overall. Though it was only 136 pages it felt very long. I liked how the point of view changed from the narrators head, and what she was thinking, to what she and others were saying. I didn't like how there were no twists or surprises that made the outcome more meaningful, or emotional. You could tell what was going to happen from the first chapter. It was a little hard to read, the plot just didn't pull me in and make me want to read more than I anticipated, like other books have.

[Dalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A soft book about grief, and the guilt we feel when someone we love is gone. It is short, and some may say even repetitive or dull, but I think it reflects perfectly how you feel on situations like that. You keep moving, because you have to, but inside your head it is just too much to comprehend at the time.
But at the end, just as the story states, you keep the good moments, and life gets better, slowly, but steady.

[Ayana Kasai · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was very interesting and realistic. It had a lot of stories within the stories, kind of threw me off. The flashbacks and current situations showed how much things really changed but how the memories never fade. Neenie, the main character, is very independent and lonely in the beginning. However, it got easier as the story went on it seemed like so it was interesting to see her grow.

[April · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sixteen year old Mindy is a typical self-absorbed irritated teen until her life is turned upside down when her mother is diagnosed with a deadly disease. Mindy is forced to realize how little she knows about her mom and how much she took her for granted. By looking honestly at herself Mindy finds the strength to work to become the woman her mother wanted her to be.

[Amber Cee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was SO GOOD
This was another book I picked up on a whim for a quick read, and it was fantastic. It's extremely sad, but since the inevitable tragedy is announced at the beginning of the novel, it really ads to the characters and the situation. Our main character is fantastic, and she helps to push the relatable narrative of the novel overall.

[Susan C Lance · Rating 3 out of 5]

YA Fiction. Sixteen year old copes with mother's death

[Jaqueline Coldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book back in middle school. It was one of the first chapter books I have ever read. And it from it I grew a love for reading. It such a great book such an emotional roller coaster

[Fyri · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://nkvalek.wordpress.com/2023/08...

My review is in here! :D

[Samantha Larsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it for a project and was really good with expressing emotions in different ways, really good book.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was a really good book

[Debra]

mother is diagnosed with a brain tumor. After her surgery, she is no longer a laughing, lively presence. She has lost the power of speech, and her memory-and Mindy has lost her mother forever.

[❤ArtfullySinful❤ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartbreakingly honest tale involving how time doesn't truly last forever, a lesson Mindy or Neenie but her father, learns to late when she believed she'd have forever to spend with her mother and ask her things, but she was so wrong. Mindy takes us through as readers the emotional rollercoaster together as she learns of her mother's brain tumor, starting out as the size of a lemon, before surgeon's remove it to discover it being the size of a grapefruit.

If you could invite any well-known person, past or present, to dinner, who would it be and why?

This is the question on the college application, something she can't help but feel overwhelming sadness because of. She reflects to her father, distant since she was twelve and hit puberty, always wanting a boy, not a girl. A man who was never there for her emotionally, and hardly ever really connected with her, not even when her mother sits in a hospital room, transfer after transfer, never regaining her mind. At least, not to what they ever knew.

My mother, she thinks. Because I can never, ever invite her to dinner to discuss anything. And because back when I could, I didn't want to. I didn't think she had anything to say that I wanted to hear.

Without her father, she takes comfort from the family she never had, being Gail, an artistic girl with a solid heart, and her eight-year old brother Andrew, portraying to her as the brother her family never received. Mindy's mother, always compared them to the famous painting Madame Lebrun And Her Daughter, whenever they'd sit together and stare into the mirror. So many things Mindy regrets, such as pushing away her mother's affections of sweetie and I love you, as she never said it back. To avoiding seeing Spartacus with her mother during their final vacation together in Cap Cod. To believing her mother was exaggerating with the neck pain forcing them to drive eight hours home at 3am to get her to the doctor.

But least of all, she never realized how many things can bring forth her mother's memory, one of them being the countless Dr. Seuss books she read to her in the library, the same place where she met Bobby, a boy who moved from New York City several months ago into their Senior Year. After everything that happened, she takes advantage of being close to people, when she wasted so much time not being close to the most important person in her life, her mother, who passed away in the hospital. She never will forget to teach her daughter how to say I love you, by squeezing her hand three times...

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

It's the 1960's. This does not matter. Mindy's mother is dying of brain cancer. This also does not matter. Mindy's a hypocrite. Guess what, this doesn't matter either, because the book is over!
Joan Abelove apparently hasn't discovered that elusive creature known as "plot" yet. Also, "how to write exposition" is still at large. This book seemed like it really, really wanted to make me cry, but I don't cry over books I enjoy, let alone this.
Mindy's mom has a brain tumor, and that's it for our plot. I'm sorry, but this is such a blatant attempt to be the next big "coming-of-age-story where a teen loses a family member/friend/pet and learns about growing up and the meaning of life" that it hurts. When writing about trauma, you have to humanize the people suffering the trauma, make them characters outside of the bad thing happening in their lives, but that doesn't happen here. The relationships and interactions are supremely generic.
Mindy is a contradictory person--and not in a good way. Only after her mother is already dead do we find out that before the illness, they had a caustic, rebellious-independent-teenager-and-shouting-mother relationship. Before that it was all "Madame Lebrun and her daughter" and sweetness and love. Then, after moaning her hypocritical and unfair treatment of her mom, she starts complaining about how her dad won't let her date non-Jews and how he sees her as the six-year-old version of herself. After brushing her Mom off as "she doesn't understand me," and feeling bad about it after her Mom dies, Mindy still gives her Dad the exact same treatment. Whatever she was supposed to learn from that experience has not sunk in. Maybe it's just me, but in these situations I automatically side with the adult, because I feel like the narrative is bullying them.
Skip it; read a piece of Newberry Bait that has an actual plot, maybe some characters to carry it.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Abelove's Go and Comeback is widely regarded as a YA classic and is not one of my favorites, so it was with a wary heart I began this one, only to quickly realize I should not have been thus prejudiced. The two novels could not be more different. Saying it Out Loud is set in the 1960s when the heroine, Mindy is 16. Mindy's mother is dying from a cancerous brain tumor. This is one of those books that Kenny reads the jacket and then says, "why are you reading this?". Indeed, sometimes I wonder the same things since I often find these types of books, particularly those aimed at youth, lacking in emotionally currency. Not so with this one. Abelove's treatment of the complexities of grief at an already complex age are as emotionally dead on (pardon the pun) as I have ever read. The writing, though not complex, is eloquent and achingly poignant while still having the voice of a sixteen year old girl. I love the opening paragraph, "When I was little, I thought that people died when they used up all their words. I thought everyone was born with a certain number of words and when they used them up, it was time for them to die. Not everyone was born with the same number. That would be too easy..." This is a short book and while the material is weighty, the words themselves are not difficult, so it would be accessible to all. (I was distressed to see it had been assigned an AR level of 4.1). I would recommend this to many readers especially those who may have enjoyed the Lurlene McDaniel books and are looking for something similar.

[Nanosynergy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The main character, Mindy, is 16 years old, an only child, and Jewish. As she begins to fill out her college applications, her mother becomes terminally ill and dies. Her father faces her mother's illness and death with euphemisms and remoteness. Mindy faces the loss of her mother with the help of two friends - her best friend Gail and Bobby (a new male classmate who is not Jewish), and driving around town in her mother's car. Throughout, Mindy hungers for closeness and openness with her father.

The main focus of the book is facing the illness and death of a parent. The book does a fairly good job of capturing the feelings caused by the loss of a loved one - grieving, regrets of things not said or done, what we remember after they're gone, etc.

However, although Mindy is Jewish, this seems to play little role in how she copes with this loss. The fact that Mindy is Jewish plays only a small role in the book, but it is underscored by her father's warning to her only to marry a Jew otherwise he will consider her as dead. This does cause some tension for the reader as Mindy's friendship with a non-Jewish boy (Bobby) grows, but this relationship does not become more serious by the end of the book.

I thought this online review provided a good overview of the book:
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_do...

[Gabri Lassa · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I read Saying It Outloud, I thought it was said to be an emotional book, and the reason I say that is because this book is about a tennage girl who lost her mom in the hospital, and who was also diangonsed wtih brain cancer and could vegly remember Mindy at all. As I stated earlier, the challenges in the book were tough, especally for the character, Mindy and her father. Her mom faces a huge challage with a brain tumor and couldn't remember her..not once. She had no ideia who Mindy even was anymore.

After Mindys mom had died, it was just her and her father. She always talked to her mom in heaven, and elsewhere in the sky. Every night, she would look up at the sky and talk to her. Mindy missed her mom very much. After her mom died, Mindy and her father went to her moms funeral.

I recomend this book to anyone who likes tragities.

[Monica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mindy's mother is dying, and Mindy isn't allowed to talk about it. She is now left to live with the father who doesn't realize she's not three any longer, and who doesn't allow her to speak about the events that will ineveitably happen to their family. Mindy doesn't quite know how to deal with her life. When she makes a friend who asks questions and tries to understand what she's going through, Mindy finally says out loud what has been weighing on her for the longest time. This story builds up to a point and then goes spiraling into oblivion when Mindy prattles on and on about her realizations of her mother's death, and then just ends.

[Georgette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like this book because it shows the relationship between a daught and a mother. It shows how two different postitions in a familty can soon be understood through time. I liked the way the author showed that mindy finally understood why her mother did certain things. Also how the author showed the contrast between her physical and mental state. What i dint like was that the author took mindys mother away to quick and how mindy didnt bond with her father that was devastating to me.I totally understand the message the author wants to send and its to cherishes ones loved ones before it is to late.

[Katie Mau · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first, when I started this journey, I thought it would be a great serious prose book. Once I got a little more into the book, I stopped thinking that. But now that I've finished it, I think it will make a perfect serious prose book. This book was a great read. Not only did it have a great storyline, but it also inspired me to write more things. I enjoyed taking this journey. Thank you, Joan Abelove.

[Alicia Samson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I personally liked this book, but for me it wasn't one of those you couldn't put down. I could never imagine losing my mother. My mother is my best friend and the person that is always there for me. Without her I would be crushed. I can't even imagine myself being in Mindy's shoes and watching her mother suffer. I would recommend this book to anyone that likes books that get to your heart.

[Sandra Strange · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not recommended. Too bleak. Mindy’s other is dying of a brain tumor, and isn’t herself. Her father is remote. She does have good friends who foster and comfort her. The story ends on an almost positive note, after 136 pages of bleakness.