The Rakehells of Heaven

by John Boyd (Pseudonym), Boyd Bradfield Upchurch, Peter Cross (Illustrator)

1st edition paperback, vg++

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction

184 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1969

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

John Boyd was the primary pen-name of Boyd Bradfield Upchurch, an American science fiction author.

Reviews

[Craig · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Rakehells of Heaven was John Boyd's (the pen name of Boyd Bradfield Upchurch) third science fiction novel. It's attitudes of the Earthman's Burden and elements of sexism have not aged well, but fifty-some years back it was considered by many to be quite a corker of humor and satire. It's a well-told adventure, too, and seems to me to tell a John W. Campbell kind of story with the social conceits that constrained Analog completely turned around or erased. I liked it a lot back in the day, and just leafed through and found some amusing and entertaining bits. This first edition hardback has a very blue and very nifty Paul Lehr wraparound cover.

[Alex Sarll]

Two men of the Space Navy land on the advanced planet Harlech, whose inhabitants have outgrown governments and operate the world as a network of universities. Southern Baptist bore Jack Adams is outraged at their lack of religion, martial spirit, or sex taboos; Irish Catholic shagger Red O'Hara is more concerned that without any sense of sin or shame, there's no challenge, and he's getting tired out. So the Earthmen determine to bring law, religion and matrimony to Harlech, succeeding only in reinventing corruption, murder and jealousy. The book's commitment to the bit and unwillingness to editorialise would doubtless have some modern readers completely missing the point and complaining about the presentation of these dreadful men as heroes, but Boyd has very clearly engineered the situation to point up human hypocrisies; even before the literal-minded men (and women) of Harlech are pointing out the glaring inconsistencies in Christianity and Western culture, the list of rules which qualify an alien race as human is very obviously a joke, notwithstanding the present day idiots who'd nod sagely along to "Humanid societies must use water closets (social), and there must be separate water closets for male and female (taboos)." They must believe in a supreme being, not to exceed a triune godhead; they must be able to interbreed with Earth humans, the pregnancy not to be shorter than seven or longer than eleven months (if that schedule is not met, the co-experimenter will of course retrospectively be charged with bestiality). Most importantly, their technology and society must be such that Earth will not have to be responsible for their defence. In other words, what Earth can take, it will, the rest of it being an elaborate fig-leaf for ruthless colonialism. So how come this felt like such a slog, a short book I mainly finished because I was fascinated by how it was nearly yet not quite working? It wasn't just that it was dated; yes, the science was very iffy in places*, and time is seldom kind to the sex comedy as a genre, and Boyd's fascination with the prehensile feet of Harlech's women comes across distinctly Tarantino. But all the same, I kept thinking of how in other hands (or indeed feet) of a similar vintage - maybe Donleavy - this blend of satire against moralists with shaggy god story could have been uproarious. Ultimately, I think the problem is that Boyd just isn't very funny, so that despite broadly progressive sentiments the novel ends up feeling like one of those awful men-only fundraising dinners that occasionally hit the news for all the wrong reasons, with some old buffer who looks like the scoutmaster from Ghosts minus the fun laboriously telling a 'blue' anecdote.

*Poking fun at the sixties' vision of future transport and communications technology is too easy to be entertaining, but I was flabbergasted by "On the morning of the execution, we can slip a little DNA from a lemming into Nesser's coffee to heighten his death-wish." Which now just makes me hope there's a crime novel somewhere in which the culprit turns out to have spiked the victim's tea with lemming jizz. I certainly wouldn't put it past Gladys Mitchell.

[Swantonist · Rating 1 out of 5]

I cannot UN-recommend this book enough. It is racist, sexist, obnoxious, uninteresting product of it's time. Somehow the author believed that readers would take it seriously that an alien species would randomly take in two humans and not act surprised that they were there. And that they would randomly start teaching earth classes. There is the worst of all cliches, the biblical Jesus allegories that wrack you over the head mercilessly. It is constantly racist towards the Irish categorizing one of the main characters as a lecherous drunk. He is even named "Red" on account of his red hair. Haha. The Main character even talks glowingly about his heritage from Alabama, saying he comes from brave confederate general loins. What? Why would you brag about ancestors who lost? There is very poor description of the alien race that they meet. I still have a hard time imagining them. The main character says they are small but strong and lemur-like but also human enough that they can breed with humans, he also calls his wife "child" constantly. Why? What does that even mean? There is a very poor development of scale. Somehow they are at a university and everything they teach and do creates waves across the entire world. They influence culture by putting on plays that are televised. It is ludicrous. I hate this book. It is so underdeveloped and so obviously made by a man who read scientific literature but was so caught up in his own religious views he has to attach it to the universe at the detriment to the mysteries of space.

[John Owen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hmm, maybe you can never go back again with certain authors. Last read this story back in the early seventies, when a paperback version was first published in the UK. I have fond memories of Boyd's work, but on re-reading, I can't for the life of me figure out why. The plot line of Rakehells is riddled with sillinesses, the story seems hackneyed and poorly written, while the characters are about as credible as a Donald Trump tweet. Not a book I could recommend to anyone, except as a case study in failure to make a believable plot.

[Doug · Rating 4 out of 5]

Still great

I read this when I was still a teenager. Reading it now, the satirical elements now stand out very well. It’s admittedly somewhat sexist, but it’s take on government hypocrisy and the colonialist/imperialist viewpoint common in 1960’s SF was fairly progressive. The characters and their interplay, especially Jack and Red, were great and the plot was zany and fun. There’s also some interest in the morés of the time when I was a kid, and how my perception has changed regarding them. While not great literature, definitely a page turner.

[Ken Minty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was astounded by the negative reviews of this rather clever, somewhat facetious, satire of mid 20th century American mores. How anyone can mistake this for a traditional space opera is beyond me. This novel, like Heinlein's "Starship Troopers", has been, and obviously still is, well above the mental and emotional capacity of some less-than-insightful readers.
If you are able to accept science fiction as social satire, and have any sort of sense of humour, this book is a good read. Four stars.

[Mark Harris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh boy. Meant as a farce. Cynical, imperialistic, and unfunny. Racist, sexist, and pro-good ole boys—those rascals. But kinda fascinating in a way. Something is going on with Boyd’s books that both appall and yet still fascinate me.

[Tyler Bladyka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bizarre. Dated, Interesting enough to convince me to look for a copy of The Last Starship from Earth..

[Justin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Odd tale of spacemen surveying and colonizing other worlds, with weird religious and sexual themes.

[Scott Holstad · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggled with how many stars to give this book. On one hand, I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought it was pretty original. On the other, it's not particularly well written, it's dated, and full of stereotypes. In it, two space cadets find a world similar to Earth with aliens similar to people, albeit mostly naked. The ship's commander, Adams, is a born again Bible thumping evangelist, while the other, O'Hara, is an Irish drunken lout who's hornier than anyone in the universe. Within minutes, O'Hara has sampled the local flavor, much to Adams' disgust.

This world is not broken up into countries, but into universities where everyone studies. The two spacemen find out they can teach noncredit courses, so they get started on Earth's art, drama, history, literature, ecology, emotions, legal systems, military, etc. And so they start these people down a slippery slope, for these people take things literally. Soon there is violence and then a police force. Then a guard of "centurions." Meanwhile, O'Hara is screwing every female alien on the planet and Adams falls in love with one and gets married. Both are committing big time Navy regulation no nos, so they'd likely be prosecuted with at least a court martial if found out. Soon, there is a murder, the first on this world in over 5,000 years.

O'Hara is the drama teacher here and puts on plays with his students. He takes many liberties with Shakespeare and the Bible. Adams doesn't appreciate it. There's a lot of tension. Meanwhile, Adam's wife becomes pregnant and has a daughter, who looks like O'Hara. Adams explodes! I won't give away the climax of the book, but the book is framed in such a way that it begins with the arrival of their starship with only Adams on board. While he is being debriefed, this tale emerges. At the end of the story, he simply walks off. What, no court martial? No firing squad? WTF? He violated about 100 regulations and he's simply going to get off? That doesn't make any sense to me, so I'm knocking it down a star just for that. Otherwise, it's an entertaining story -- with lots of sex -- although, not particularly well written. The dialogue isn't really believable. Can't say I recommend it for a general audience, but a sci fi fan might like it.

[Brian Clegg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Revisiting John Boyd from when I first discovered him in the 70s, this book was a mixed experience - certainly not one of his best works. The basic premise is strong - a planet that is, to all intents and purposes, an ideal place with no crime is invaded by a pair of Earth spacemen who start to corrupt it with their dubious ethics, resulting in the first murder in 5,000 years - and some very strange dramatics. In that sense it is very strong, but there are aspects of it that are so dated - notably the concept of marriage based very much on a 1950s ideal, where the little woman stays at home and cooks - that it can be quite a difficult read. Arguably the main characters, particularly the Irishman O'Hara are far too much caricatures. But it still has more going for it than many science fiction novels.

[J McEvoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Astronauts hold few charms for psychiatrists... and so begins John Boyd's stunning novel, The Rakehells of Heaven, in which two rapacious scouts from an imperial Earth happen across a planet divided, not into nations, but into autonomous universities. Their arrival is not noticed until they add it to the curriculum and teach the Earth modules of combat, conquest, rape, murder and death. Perhaps best read as an allegory of the time in which it was written, Rakehells is an anti-imperialist, anti-war masterpiece by an author at the height of his powers.

[Robert Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of the worst books I have ever read. The only things that really stick with me after the reading is the condescending attitude towards southern women, which stuck in my craw then and make me shake my head now. If the author actually is/was southern, then shame on him. If not, please let him never have written about southern characters again.

[Liriope · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a pretty good book, if a little odd. It's stood up against the passage of time and isn't very dated. The ending felt a little rushed, but then, it is a short book. All in all I'd recommend it.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wouldn't consider this book anti-women. It is certainly anti-evangelical missionaries screwing up societies they know nothing about by trying to impose their own values. Incisive social commentary, as all good SF is.

[Christopher Kidder-mostrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun read for a short, vintage piece.

[James · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cheesy 60's SF with free bad sex included. Might make a good selection for my friend's bad book club.

[SciFiOne]

Cover author John Boyd. No grade.

[Steve Rainwater · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings on this one; it was quite readable but a bit depressing and misogynistic.

An official Earth-based scout vessel crewed by a womanizing, drunken, Irish con-man and a recently "saved" evangelical (who was previously the womanizing drinking buddy of the Irishman), stumbles into an uncharted planet. The planet is an ideal post-scarcity society in which there is no crime, no war, no religion, no poverty, and no government. The primary occupation of the people is attending Universities for self improvement.

The womanizing Irishmen gets to his favorite occupation immediately but decides sex is no fun if it's not considered a sin. This plays into the hands of the evangelical who wants to introduce religion. Together they manage to re-introduce the unprepared society to monogamy, jealousy, crime, murder, capital punishment and set a course towards civil war. The only authority on the planet, the University Deans, began to realize what's happening but may not be able to stop it in time. I got the impression that the author intended the whole thing to be funny but I found it more of a depressing commentary on Earth culture.