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A Real Boy
Carlo Collodi (author of Pinocchio) will be spinning in his Tuscan grave, although possibly not as fast as Walt Disney. The Brothers Grimm may be feeling a little dizzy as well…
Lonely woodcarver Joseph, purveyor of fine hand-crafted goods to the BDSM market, decides to craft the ultimate sex toy, a life-size wooden Boy. Unfortunately Joseph's Boy has a mind of his own...
Lonely woodcarver Joseph, purveyor of fine hand-crafted goods to the BDSM market, decides to craft the ultimate sex toy, a life-size wooden Boy. Unfortunately Joseph's Boy has a mind of his own...
18 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2009
About the author
J.L. Merrow
145 books1,330 followersJL Merrow is that rare beast, an English person who refuses to drink tea. She read Natural Sciences at Cambridge, where she learned many things, chief amongst which was that she never wanted to see the inside of a lab ever again. Her one regret is that she never mastered the ability of punting one-handed whilst holding a glass of champagne.
She writes across genres, with a preference for contemporary gay romance and the paranormal, and is frequently accused of humour. Her novella Muscling Through was a 2013 EPIC Award finalist, and her novel Slam! won the 2013 Rainbow Award for Best LGBT Romantic Comedy. Her novel Relief Valve is a finalist in the 2015 EPIC Awards.
JL Merrow is a member of the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet organising team.
Find JL Merrow online at: www.jlmerrow.com, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow
She writes across genres, with a preference for contemporary gay romance and the paranormal, and is frequently accused of humour. Her novella Muscling Through was a 2013 EPIC Award finalist, and her novel Slam! won the 2013 Rainbow Award for Best LGBT Romantic Comedy. Her novel Relief Valve is a finalist in the 2015 EPIC Awards.
JL Merrow is a member of the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet organising team.
Find JL Merrow online at: www.jlmerrow.com, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
December 2, 2013
Amusing with some moments of blundering along. Ends strong. Overall, a depraved and snort-worthy twisted take on Pinocchio.
December 7, 2013
This is an amusing short deviant piece on Pinocchio and how he because a "real boy". One of the better interpretations of an old fairy tale. Joseph is the "wood" toy maker. The way he is designed is disgusting. It's the story all that more depraved. *shudders* oily hair and nasty teeth? Yuck.
The "boy" is a slutty little liar. The lying growth is not unexpected. What is unexpected is how boy's growth is shaved down. I grabbed my own pussy in sympathy. YIKES!
The funnest part is what happened to the cricket. This amused me to no end. He asked for it! This fairy tale retold is for m/m lovers with a twisted sense of humour.
The "boy" is a slutty little liar. The lying growth is not unexpected. What is unexpected is how boy's growth is shaved down. I grabbed my own pussy in sympathy. YIKES!
The funnest part is what happened to the cricket. This amused me to no end. He asked for it! This fairy tale retold is for m/m lovers with a twisted sense of humour.
December 3, 2013
This is a short story by J.L.Merrow, a take on the Pinnochio story of a wooden puppet, probably familiar to most children through the Disney film of that name. Yet this is a story that has similar characters, most main elements of the original story but with a twisted deviancy as to what grows with lies and the underlying sense of humour, laced with sarcasm that is both hilarious, clever and the telling of which is very British.
I loved it, yet am also aware that there is a level that leaves me uncomfortable but that JLM has covered as well as can be by ensuring wooden boy becomes human young man.
I loved Fairy Twinkerbell, should we ever have this as alternate panto I see dear Julian Clary as perfect for the role.
Has to be four stars from me, has a good standard, and use of the English language, loved the alliteration...pummelled his pine nut prostate...and has been edited. I recommend it to adult BDSM readers who enjoy m/m story lines.
I loved it, yet am also aware that there is a level that leaves me uncomfortable but that JLM has covered as well as can be by ensuring wooden boy becomes human young man.
I loved Fairy Twinkerbell, should we ever have this as alternate panto I see dear Julian Clary as perfect for the role.
Has to be four stars from me, has a good standard, and use of the English language, loved the alliteration...pummelled his pine nut prostate...and has been edited. I recommend it to adult BDSM readers who enjoy m/m story lines.
November 29, 2010
Twisted and sarcastic, and so funny. Just the description of Twinkerbell would have been enough to make it with it, but the story of pinocchio will never be the same for me. And the drug dealing little red riding hood?
May 5, 2010
JL Merrow has the sarcastic type of humor that I simply adore! Her imagination is wonderfully clever and left me wanting to read much more.
October 5, 2011
Delightfully twisted. I found myself laughing out loud as I read this story (which is probably how I earned a few strange looks on the bus.) Great entertainment and I LOVE how the cricket was dealt with.
October 8, 2011
I really enjoyed the adaptation of Pinocchio that JL Merrow used in her short story "A Real Boy." Even for a short work of less than twenty pages, Merrow includes a great deal of humor and mild references and/or uses of BDSM/sex toy play. The main character, Joseph, is an ugly but talented woodcarver who uses his special gift for making the best sex toys for hundreds of miles around. He is lonely, though, and never gets to use his own products with a partner because of his ugliness. There is, of course, a pesky cricket as his conscience, and a HEA. I rate this story a 4.5 for the enjoyment factor, but also for the style of writing and the inventiveness that turns the personality of the Joseph and the cricket from the typical to an original. I won’t spoil it; I just recommend the read!
June 10, 2016
I usually like twisted fairytales, but this one is a bit too wierd. It's more a dark humored and erotic parody. The weirdest of all in this story is the erotic part. I found it unnecessarily silly... The story would have been much better without it or if the eroticism was a little less perverse. It would still have a lot of humor and interesting twists. But that's just my opinion, and I kept reminding myself as I read that I was warned by the blurb.
When I looked past the absurd beginning and tried to accept the nature of the story, the quality of this parody began to get a bit better.
Ps: was hilarious!
When I looked past the absurd beginning and tried to accept the nature of the story, the quality of this parody began to get a bit better.
Ps: was hilarious!
October 9, 2010
Ummmm.....
I just couldn't get into it. I am all for a the Master/Boy/Slave dynamic but this was just not my cup of tea.
In my mind Petey was a boy not an adult and that totally turned me off.
To each their own though.
I just couldn't get into it. I am all for a the Master/Boy/Slave dynamic but this was just not my cup of tea.
In my mind Petey was a boy not an adult and that totally turned me off.
To each their own though.
September 24, 2010
This is a kinked up re-imagining of Pinocchio. It was well written and cute, in a kinky sort of way. It was my first book by this author and I enjoyed it enough to seek out more.
March 8, 2013
Absolutely silly; absolutely marvellous is a campy, woody way.
J.L. Merrow writes lovely humorous pieces at times, and I love them.
Short, but very sweet :)
J.L. Merrow writes lovely humorous pieces at times, and I love them.
Short, but very sweet :)
May 15, 2018
2.5
I have to write a review or I'll keep downloading this free story (I've done it twice), thinking it is one of the more «traditional» J.L. Merrow's stories, which I love. It is a kind of a romp, kinky retelling of «Pinocchio» by Carlo Collodi, with some secondary characters from other tales. The cricket was as irritating as in the original tale. If you like the humour you'll find it funny, if not plain silly.
I have to write a review or I'll keep downloading this free story (I've done it twice), thinking it is one of the more «traditional» J.L. Merrow's stories, which I love. It is a kind of a romp, kinky retelling of «Pinocchio» by Carlo Collodi, with some secondary characters from other tales. The cricket was as irritating as in the original tale. If you like the humour you'll find it funny, if not plain silly.
January 5, 2019
Odd offering by one of my favorite authors. IMHO; not her best, by a long shot.
Free on Smashwords.com.
Free on Smashwords.com.
December 24, 2021
I didn't care for the story itself, but I thought all the fairy-tale cameos clever.
August 14, 2025
This is a smutty short retelling of Pinocchio. Just a little to much.
May 10, 2010
This book was a very strange take on the old fairytale, Pinocchio. Since I didn't know this before I read it, I was rather taken aback in the first pages.
The writing style was good, although at times a bit unclear.
I feel I'm giving this book 2 stars because of the very peculiar plot and characters. Yes, Merrow stayed (more or less) within the confines of the classic fairytale, but it still didn't quite sit with me. I find it hard to place my finger on what didn't work right now, just that the plot didn't quite work with me.
The writing style was good, although at times a bit unclear.
I feel I'm giving this book 2 stars because of the very peculiar plot and characters. Yes, Merrow stayed (more or less) within the confines of the classic fairytale, but it still didn't quite sit with me. I find it hard to place my finger on what didn't work right now, just that the plot didn't quite work with me.
November 16, 2015
3.5 stars
When Joseph, sex- toy maker extraordinaire, gets fed up with waiting for his boy to turn up, he decides to carve his own toy, to his exact liking. But once done, his boy turns out to be a bit unruly, with a mind of his own. To make things worse, an unwelcomed conscience in the shape of a snobbish cricket is decided to keep them apart…
A hilarious retelling of Pinocchio, this is a bizarre mixture of different fairy tales, in a twisted, funny, extremely eccentric perspective… I’m still laughing…
When Joseph, sex- toy maker extraordinaire, gets fed up with waiting for his boy to turn up, he decides to carve his own toy, to his exact liking. But once done, his boy turns out to be a bit unruly, with a mind of his own. To make things worse, an unwelcomed conscience in the shape of a snobbish cricket is decided to keep them apart…
A hilarious retelling of Pinocchio, this is a bizarre mixture of different fairy tales, in a twisted, funny, extremely eccentric perspective… I’m still laughing…
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 29, 2011
This was a very cute and kinky short retelling of Pinnochio. I absolutly loved it. I found myself grinning and laughing non-stop! J.L. Merrow has a great sense of humor. This is actually the first of her stories that I've read. And even though (from what I've heard) this story was more of a joke and isn't really like any of her other works, it definitly made me want to read more by her. :)
August 5, 2012
I had a hard time with this book. It could have been really funny, the idea of it was fun and different but the whole boy/master thing got to me. I thought of Petey as a very young boy and Joseph as a man old enough to be his father. I just couldn't get past that. This was not a book for me.
May 30, 2013
Free ebook.
Pinocchio is a very, very special Boy.
And need we even mention about that woodcarver...?
Not to be missed retelling of the famous fairy tale for the m/m aficionado.
Extremely non-PC.
Sensitive souls should keep away from this story to avoid moral outrage and angst.
Pinocchio is a very, very special Boy.
And need we even mention about that woodcarver...?
Not to be missed retelling of the famous fairy tale for the m/m aficionado.
Extremely non-PC.
Sensitive souls should keep away from this story to avoid moral outrage and angst.
July 30, 2016
So many English fairy tales pulled into one short, cleverly executed, silly, sexy story!
Some references will not work if your knowledge of British supermarkets is not up to scratch but so long as you read this with your tongue firmly in your cheek, you will enjoy!
Some references will not work if your knowledge of British supermarkets is not up to scratch but so long as you read this with your tongue firmly in your cheek, you will enjoy!
March 10, 2022
This was an amusing story, but there wasn't much more to it. It was neither a character study nor particularly porny so I was left wondering what was the point to it?
Themes: dual POV, fairy tale retelling, master/boy, virginity
Themes: dual POV, fairy tale retelling, master/boy, virginity
October 28, 2010
Enjoyable (and free) twisted m/m retelling of Pinnochio, with few other stray fairy tales thrown in around the edges.
July 11, 2011
A very good giggle!
September 12, 2011
the funniest book I've read in a long time! nice appropriation of the Pinocchio story!
November 3, 2011
It was fun, and the play of the different fairytale charactors for stories other than the one the book was based on I thought was very good.
September 7, 2016
Can't really decide whether I liked this or note. It was well written, flowed smoothly and enticing...but a little wierd. Fantastic idea and I enjoyed it---I guess I did enjoy it! ;)
April 21, 2012
Very interesting adaptation of the concept of Pinocchio. I was laughing so hard! The author really did a wonderful, inventive job.
July 4, 2012
That was brilliant.
September 20, 2012
LOL funny
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews