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Communication And Conflict Resolution
Communication and Conflict A Biblical Perspective
35 pages, Paperback
First published July 10, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
October 5, 2019
Need to work on your communication and conflict resolution skill biblically? This booklet by Stuart Scott a professor of biblical counseling might be what you are looking for. Don’t let the size of this pamphlet deceive you; there’s a lot of helpful materials found in its pages and I personally took a few weeks of slowly digesting it and taking lots of notes when I read it.
The work is divided into two parts. Part one is on communication while part two is on conflict resolution. The communication section alone is already worth getting this title. But it is the latter half on conflict resolution that I enjoyed the most.
The author was helpful in defining what conflict is not: It is not difference of opinion or being offended. I think that simple point is important to remember as sometimes people can equivocate difference of opinion as conflict (our emotions can lie to us). So what is conflict? “When both parties sin against one another (in their communication and/or their actions) and are then in opposition to one another” (13).
I enjoyed Scott’s discussion about how people can over-rate and have a wrong focus on compatibility; instead the book pushes for real solutions for people who will be different. I appreciate the author being biblical in identifying the source of conflict based upon James 4:1-3 with the root being our self-exalting pride, self-serving lusts or both (16-17). Also helpful is the author’s discussion of the benefits of disagreements and also sinful ways versus God honoring ways to avoid conflict.
Much more about this booklet could be said and even with what I mentioned in this review doesn’t exhaust the contents of this booklet. There’s many verses shared throughout this booklet and I appreciated looking them up and meditating and studying them. I recommend it and think its worth having a physical copy to review it from time to time for one’s own personal sanctification.
The work is divided into two parts. Part one is on communication while part two is on conflict resolution. The communication section alone is already worth getting this title. But it is the latter half on conflict resolution that I enjoyed the most.
The author was helpful in defining what conflict is not: It is not difference of opinion or being offended. I think that simple point is important to remember as sometimes people can equivocate difference of opinion as conflict (our emotions can lie to us). So what is conflict? “When both parties sin against one another (in their communication and/or their actions) and are then in opposition to one another” (13).
I enjoyed Scott’s discussion about how people can over-rate and have a wrong focus on compatibility; instead the book pushes for real solutions for people who will be different. I appreciate the author being biblical in identifying the source of conflict based upon James 4:1-3 with the root being our self-exalting pride, self-serving lusts or both (16-17). Also helpful is the author’s discussion of the benefits of disagreements and also sinful ways versus God honoring ways to avoid conflict.
Much more about this booklet could be said and even with what I mentioned in this review doesn’t exhaust the contents of this booklet. There’s many verses shared throughout this booklet and I appreciated looking them up and meditating and studying them. I recommend it and think its worth having a physical copy to review it from time to time for one’s own personal sanctification.
June 10, 2020
This is a short booklet on how to deal with conflict within a marriage. I should have read this 30 years ago! The message is clear. God's word contains the right way to resolve conflicts , which includes humility and a desire to please God in our lives. The principles Scott discuses are filled with Godly wisdom.
September 14, 2024
I bought this because of the title, not realizing the content is an excerpt from "The Exemplary Husband". But the biblical instruction for God-honoring communication and pursing peace applies to everyone, married or not. At its root, this book always points to the fact that we are created by and for God and should seek to please Him with every fiber of our being in all areas.
Here are my favorite practical takeaways summarized:
* Put forth the time and effort it takes to listen and talk, even when you're tired or selfish.
* Don't formulate your answer when the other person is still speaking.
* Allow breaks when talking so the other person has time to process your words and then formulate/speak their own.
* Desire to please God more than desiring anything else.
* Be humble and patient when misunderstood or displeased.
* Seek to isolate the thoughts that lead to the wrong ways of speaking.
* Say only what will accomplish good.
* Remember that even one person can keep conflict from happening. Be that person.
* Don't think that differences inherently separate people or commonalities unite them. Pride and selfishness are the things that cause conflict, and everyone struggles with those.
* Seek to be changed by Scripture so you are more and more united in mind with other Christ-conformers.
* Do not let yourself sin in response to someone else's sin.
* Idolize nothing - conflicts happen when we MUST have something. In the midst of a conflict, ask yourself, "What is it I am wanting for myself?" Our focus must be the good of others instead of self.
* Communicate your love during a disagreement.
* Listen more than you speak, but do speak.
* Be careful that your words are the right ones.
* Be the one pursuing peace to reduce conflict.
* Address sin quickly. Don't wait for time alone to heal things or create bitterness.
* Team up against the problem, not each other.
* Persevere through the learning process and enjoy the fruit of your labor.
* Acknowledge the true reason for our existence and God's full right to our lives and how we live them.
* Be so devoted to God that you labor to please Him with every fiber of your being.
Here are my favorite practical takeaways summarized:
* Put forth the time and effort it takes to listen and talk, even when you're tired or selfish.
* Don't formulate your answer when the other person is still speaking.
* Allow breaks when talking so the other person has time to process your words and then formulate/speak their own.
* Desire to please God more than desiring anything else.
* Be humble and patient when misunderstood or displeased.
* Seek to isolate the thoughts that lead to the wrong ways of speaking.
* Say only what will accomplish good.
* Remember that even one person can keep conflict from happening. Be that person.
* Don't think that differences inherently separate people or commonalities unite them. Pride and selfishness are the things that cause conflict, and everyone struggles with those.
* Seek to be changed by Scripture so you are more and more united in mind with other Christ-conformers.
* Do not let yourself sin in response to someone else's sin.
* Idolize nothing - conflicts happen when we MUST have something. In the midst of a conflict, ask yourself, "What is it I am wanting for myself?" Our focus must be the good of others instead of self.
* Communicate your love during a disagreement.
* Listen more than you speak, but do speak.
* Be careful that your words are the right ones.
* Be the one pursuing peace to reduce conflict.
* Address sin quickly. Don't wait for time alone to heal things or create bitterness.
* Team up against the problem, not each other.
* Persevere through the learning process and enjoy the fruit of your labor.
* Acknowledge the true reason for our existence and God's full right to our lives and how we live them.
* Be so devoted to God that you labor to please Him with every fiber of your being.
January 12, 2025
A helpful booklet dealing with communication and conflict. I especially enjoyed the part where he address in which ways are sinful and what it would look like to d things in a godly way instead. It’s always helpful to have specific things to consider and act upon.
I also especially found it helpful when he talked about resolving conflicts biblically and he added the bullet point of “Decide what kind of issue you are dealing with: preference, sin, conscience, or wisdom issues.” Being able to look at things in these ways has helped me let go of things that used to cause conflict. My husband is allowed to have other preferences and even other opinions on wisdom issues and I don’t need to balk/critique/comment at each one just because I hold different ones.
It’s excerpts from his Exemplary Husband Book so it’s still written predominantly with husbands in mind. Still super useful for wives- just annoying that all the references are to husbands.
I also especially found it helpful when he talked about resolving conflicts biblically and he added the bullet point of “Decide what kind of issue you are dealing with: preference, sin, conscience, or wisdom issues.” Being able to look at things in these ways has helped me let go of things that used to cause conflict. My husband is allowed to have other preferences and even other opinions on wisdom issues and I don’t need to balk/critique/comment at each one just because I hold different ones.
It’s excerpts from his Exemplary Husband Book so it’s still written predominantly with husbands in mind. Still super useful for wives- just annoying that all the references are to husbands.
April 11, 2019
Simple, practical book on communication and conflict resolution from a biblical perspective. Scott writes that communication should be holy, purposeful, clear and timely. Likewise. I like the emphasis on humble conflict resolution-- there are helpful diagrams on how to view the conflict in view of our relationship with God.
June 8, 2017
This is more of a pamphlet than a book. Excerpted from The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective, it is 34 pages of good information on the title subjects. I can't say that it was a great book in any way, but the information is easy to follow and it doesn't take up too much space.
November 12, 2018
Excellent tips with biblical references. Full of point after point to work on. This is one that will have to be read again and again. Though it comes from a book he wrote for men, this little reference relates perfectly to either male or female.
April 27, 2021
Soooo convicting. Are we communicating in a way that glorifies God or ourselves? I need this every day!!
May 13, 2022
Very helpful insights!
February 25, 2025
Great! Short, sweet and to the point. Fantastic for marriage and conflict between teen siblings.
September 21, 2020
Stuart Scott's book does a fantastic job at evaluating all of the Bible. Every page is jam packed with Scripture and talks about either the negative aspects of our communications or the positive aspects we can have as believers.
This booklet is rich and deep, and lends itself to further study. As deep as it is, everything here is just scratching the surface, so much so that I had to take his nine points and work through them in my own writing to really grasp them. I needed to think through the implications of those points for myself far deeper than this book went.
Another thing in this book that I think is worth further contemplation and study is the wise framework he builds for dealing with different kinds of issues. When you're in conflict, ask yourself:
*Is this a preference issue? See Philippians 2:3-5 and learn how to give preference to one another.
*Is this a sin issues? Read Ephesians 4:22-24 and discuss repentance.
*Is this a conscience issue? Do not go against the other person's conscience (Romans 14:23), but do study and get counsel. Understand what the Bible is saying.
*Is this a wisdom issue? Both of you gather the facts, study the issue, get counsel, and then come together to give in put on it. Then the husband can make a biblical leadership decision and the wife can practice Christ-like submission and trust in God's sovereignty (Proverbs 2:3-6, 12:15; 2 Timothy 2:15)
Between these two lists, Stuart Scott really brings the hard and heavy truths. He helps the reader understand that communication requires your effort and thoughtfulness. Good communication requires the Holy Spirit residing within you.
To see more reviews check out my blog: This Sporadic Life
This booklet is rich and deep, and lends itself to further study. As deep as it is, everything here is just scratching the surface, so much so that I had to take his nine points and work through them in my own writing to really grasp them. I needed to think through the implications of those points for myself far deeper than this book went.
Another thing in this book that I think is worth further contemplation and study is the wise framework he builds for dealing with different kinds of issues. When you're in conflict, ask yourself:
*Is this a preference issue? See Philippians 2:3-5 and learn how to give preference to one another.
*Is this a sin issues? Read Ephesians 4:22-24 and discuss repentance.
*Is this a conscience issue? Do not go against the other person's conscience (Romans 14:23), but do study and get counsel. Understand what the Bible is saying.
*Is this a wisdom issue? Both of you gather the facts, study the issue, get counsel, and then come together to give in put on it. Then the husband can make a biblical leadership decision and the wife can practice Christ-like submission and trust in God's sovereignty (Proverbs 2:3-6, 12:15; 2 Timothy 2:15)
Between these two lists, Stuart Scott really brings the hard and heavy truths. He helps the reader understand that communication requires your effort and thoughtfulness. Good communication requires the Holy Spirit residing within you.
To see more reviews check out my blog: This Sporadic Life
November 8, 2014
A short and pointed book which really throws a spotlight on numerous crucial topics --- communication ( who doesn't communicate or need to learn more about how to be effective?! ) & conflict.
Both of these topics have been written about extensively, especially the former, however, Mr. Scott still is able to bring fresh perspective to both.
A useful read & glad it was part of a subscription series which I always learn a LOT from!
Both of these topics have been written about extensively, especially the former, however, Mr. Scott still is able to bring fresh perspective to both.
A useful read & glad it was part of a subscription series which I always learn a LOT from!
February 27, 2014
A great little "pamphlet-book" on communicating and conflict resolution for married couples. I suggest having your Bible nearby when reading.
November 4, 2014
Short read. Like someone else posted a great pamphlet for quick answers on resolving conflicts.
November 10, 2014
A great book for anyone that is married or is hoping to get married.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews