The raw three-page section of just "Mom, Mom, Mom," written in a distorted madness, followed by the suicide attempts, and the explanations of how and why they failed, was downright evil to publish after Nakai’s death, and genuinely distressing to read. Thinking of Nakai’s teenage years, losing his beloved mother, to whom he was deeply attached, and his brother as well must have made life hell for him. I guess Sandaikishou could’ve never been written by sane men. Still I’m actually glad they published most of the parts he had omitted from the first version while he was alive. I think if you’re going to publish your diaries, you should include even those sections, because at that point, they’re no longer corny or merely personal, but a glimpse into a deranged human mind.