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How to Heal the Hurt by Hating

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"I wish we were back together for just one night . . .

so I could push you out of my loftbed while you were sleeping."

Satirical and sharp, downtown New York City performance artist Anita Liberty reinvents self-help as she skewers her ex-boyfriend in this hilarious, hip, and audaciously candid collection of advice, poems, and diary entries.

"I thought you were a gifted and tortured artist.

I was wrong.

About the gifted part.

Oh.

And the artist part."

From romantic bliss to brutal breakup, from heartache to healing, this fierce, funny, and ultimately liberating homage to being "dumped" rips off the stiff upper lip in favor of a red-hot therapy of wit, wisdom, rage, and redemption. And now, a few words from Anita Liberty . . .

"COMPROMISE--

Lowering my standards.

So you can meet them."

"You're a bad habit.

I want to kick you.

Hard."

Inclues free postcards to send to that special someone!

160 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 1998

3 people are currently reading
113 people want to read

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Anita Liberty

3 books33 followers

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5 stars
89 (39%)
4 stars
64 (28%)
3 stars
46 (20%)
2 stars
22 (9%)
1 star
5 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
Profile Image for Stella.
111 reviews1 follower
May 12, 2018
Ένα χιουμοριστικό βιβλίο. Η συγγραφέας πολλές φορές αυτοσαρκάζεται, μοιράζεται τον <<πόνο και την δυστυχία>> του να είσαι τριάντα και αδέσμευτη, βρίζει σχεδόν τους πάντες (μα κυρίως του άντρες, αν και η ίδια δηλώνει πως μισεί μονάχα έναν) και γενικότερα, οι σελίδες περνάνε με μια ''ελαφρότητα'' και ευκολία. Χαλαρό και χωρίς πολλά πολλά, μετά από κάποιο σημείο με κούρασε.
Profile Image for becky.
169 reviews4 followers
March 26, 2009
the best part of this book was the jacket. enough said.
31 reviews
September 10, 2007
Anita Liberty, poet and performance artist, is one fucked up bitch! Hilariously fucked up, that is! This book - I should say collection of random thoughts, rants, haikus, and scary, scary shit - is so very wonderful and precious. It shows that the only emotion more powerful than love is hate.
Profile Image for Marsha.
Author 2 books39 followers
June 8, 2021
Anita Liberty has been dumped by her boyfriend after being with him for over three years. He’s left her for a girl called Heather. In poems whose tonal cries range from self-pitying to scathing to acidic, she unloads her spleen with no-holds-barred seething rage. Forget about letting things go. Forget about being a bigger person. Forget about putting on a brave face. That lowdown polecat done wronged this woman and she wants everyone to know it.

(You wonder if perhaps giving Mitchell all this free publicity and attention isn’t detrimental for her cause. But Anita Liberty isn’t her real name so it’s likely that “Mitchell” is a pseudonym as well.)

With that in mind, what we have left are the amusing musings and day-to-day thoughts of many a single woman who’s been through the emotional wringer of a breakup. From pigging out on the couch to enduring questions about matrimony, Ms. Liberty sets it down for all to see.

Go on. Laugh at her pain and give a great “screw you” to all your evil exes.
Profile Image for Emily.
625 reviews54 followers
August 18, 2021
Πολλές φορές στη ζωή παρασυρόμαστε χωρίς να το θέλουμε σε οδούς που κανονικά θα τις προσπερνούσαμε αβλεπί.

Ανήμερα της Παναγίας, υπό την προοπτική 32ωρης σερί εργασίας στη κοχλάζουσα έρημη Αθήνα, έσυρα το πόδι μου με τη σιδερένια μπάλα για δύο ώρες σε μία εστία ανάπαυσης. Δυστυχώς δεν κοιμάμαι ποτέ τα μεσημέρια, ένας λόγος παραπάνω, στο αγχωτικό περιβάλλον της δουλειάς μου. Ας διαβάσω κάτι ανάλαφρο, ψέλλισα στον εαυτό μου, μέχρι να χτυπήσει το τηλέφωνο ...

Πρόσφατα, μετά από παράκληση σε μια ομάδα με την οποία έτυχε να συνυπάρξουμε ένα μικρό διάστημα, έλαβα μία δωρεά βιβλίων για να δημιουργήσω μικρή βιβλιοθήκη για το κοινό του χώρου δουλειάς μου. Ανάμεσα σε αυτά ήταν και το περί ου ο λόγος πόνημα με τις διθυραμβικές κριτικές. Ίσως τις έλαβε επειδή η χρονική συγκυρία έκδοσης του ήταν τέτοια που προκάλεσε ένα ενδιαφέρον. Με την πληθώρα όσων παρεμφερούς θεματολογίας βιβλίων ακολούθησαν, ο αναγνώστης μόνο να πλήξει μπορεί διαβάζοντας το.
Πρακτικά, έχασα το χρόνο μου και κούρασα τα μπιρμπιλωτά ματάκια μου διαβάζοντας ταχύτατα, διαγωνίως και καθέτως.
Profile Image for Robin Mimna.
Author 1 book12 followers
July 7, 2025
This is one of the books that made me want to write poetry. It's a classic. Wtf is up with that 3.92 score? For shame. You have no idea.
Profile Image for Patrice Sartor.
885 reviews14 followers
April 15, 2014
I came across this title while I was looking through my local library's poetry section. The title was so different than all the other hordes of deeply sensitive and introspective works, that right away I was charmed. Even though I don't hate, or have any hurt to heal.

I wasn't disappointed. Thank you, Mitchell, for being such a douchey boyfriend that Anita used your failed relationship as an impetus to stoke her career. She slanders Mitchell left and right, with diary entries, short poems, long and rambling verse, and sometimes just a word or three and some well-placed space.

I hope that writing this book (and all the other anti-Mitchell propaganda Anita was involved in) proved to be a worthy catharsis. Since she's now married with a daughter, I'm guessing all is well.

Plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, and hey, you might also learn something. There's some good advice hidden inside.
Profile Image for Kim.
115 reviews1 follower
January 10, 2008
OK. The title is a bit scary, but I bought it at the time when I was ending a no-good relationship. And it intrigued me. The book was really great, not just manhating drivel, but more an inner dialogue of a woman going through a rough breakup. It runs through all kinds of emotions, from anger to self-pity to mourning. The author (a stage character of the real author) is both witty and glaringly truthful and this is a great book to read if you need to feel a little anger to cleanse your soul. Heck, I'm in a great relationship and I still keep it around just to give myself a giggle every once in awhile!
Profile Image for Ecclectiscapist.
13 reviews22 followers
Read
January 12, 2009
Cute, funny, quick read when you're halfway through a particularly mess breakup. No matter how well or poorly you've handled it, will make you feel much more mature. Or give you bad ideas about terrible things to do, if your inhibitions are particularly low (or evil streak is riled up).

Thankfully, that was not the case. So instead, I just laughed. A lot. And felt a little better. It really critiques women who do that more than the boys who fuck them over, in retrospect, though I think some part of every woman who's ever been hurt has fantasized in anger about doing something terrible like that at least once in her life.
Profile Image for Valerie.
20 reviews
June 21, 2007
The book was recommended by friend (who has only let me down once out of several books).Otherwise I would have never heard of it.
The title sounds awful but what a fun book. Really worth the read. Anita is a performance poet, which I guess is like slam poetry. This certainly is. You'll feel better for reading it.
Even though Barnes & Noble had her do a book signing I had to have them order the book for me as it was not on the shelves.
To check the book out go to the author's web page.
Profile Image for Mary.
542 reviews
May 4, 2011
Many years ago, this book called to me from the shelf, at a time when it couldn't have been more appropriate. Heartbroken? The best revenge is laughing your ass off. You will find yourself in the pages of this book and you will love it. I have read, reread, purchased, and distributed this book probably more than any other. All her books are not-to-be-missed, but this is my tried and true favorite. Do yourself a favor.
Profile Image for Sharon Hart O'Hara.
20 reviews
November 30, 2020
This book is absolutely hilarious & PERFECT for anyone who's ever suffered a nasty painful breakup. Definitely a must read! Great idea for a group of friends or a fun book club. If you're involved in a group that primarily focuses on serious selections, take a break with this reality driven read exploring emotions & themes that nearly everyone understands but no one openly admits. If you or your bff is still crying, this book is the balm that might be the cure!
Profile Image for Amy.
Author 1 book37 followers
August 24, 2011
Funny. Scary, but funny. For someone still involved in a 30+ year relationship, I couldn't really find commonality, but I could still enjoy the acerbic wit behind it. Anita Liberty, if that's her real name, is talented and witty. But scary. I finished the book thanking The Powers That Be that I wasn't Mitchell.
Profile Image for Christina.
1,607 reviews
August 7, 2013
3.5 stars. Bought this book a long time ago. A combination of humor and poetry that made me laugh out loud a couple of times. Didn't realize until I read the author bio at the end that it was entirely fictional (I assumed there were some creative liberties taken, but I thought it was part memoir). Still, an entertaining, quick read.
Profile Image for gabrielle.
353 reviews7 followers
April 4, 2012
The premise is cute, and there's some funny "poetry" in here, but other than that, this didn't do much for me.

This was also the first book I read on my nook, and I don't think the pages rendered quite right (there were definitely some OCR problems) so that may be influencing my opinion.
Profile Image for Effobee.
99 reviews4 followers
July 20, 2007
A friend of mine bought me this book for some reason and I LOVED IT! The title says it all.
Profile Image for Erika.
35 reviews1 follower
May 21, 2009
Yes, the title does say it all. Even if you're currently heartbroken it is still a hilarious read, and believe me, you'll love it when you actually are.
Profile Image for Tovah Aho.
23 reviews
March 16, 2008
The best part of the book may be the included postcards..
Profile Image for Stephanie Davis.
45 reviews
July 29, 2008
A friend gave this to me when I was having trouble getting un-blue over a breakup. This book yanked me up, kicked my tushy, and cracked me up. HYSTERICAL, sometimes painfully so.
Profile Image for Sonya Noble.
39 reviews1 follower
April 18, 2008
A very funny book! I read this many, many years ago and loved it! A great book for anyone who remembers what those horrible break-ups are like.
Profile Image for Melissa.
68 reviews1 follower
December 23, 2008
Full of bitter, sarcastic humor. I thought it was entertaining. Plus, I read it after a nasty break-up, so that could be part of why I liked it so much...
1 review
September 3, 2009
This is an amazing read.
I actually first read this when my speech teacher had me cut it for a peice.
It was amazing.
Anita, you know your love poems or slam poetry really. :)
Profile Image for Oriyah N.
331 reviews22 followers
December 30, 2011
This was a favorite of mine in highschool. The style, poetry, comedy, and content is all wonderful.

I didn't give it that fifth star because of the foul language and the negative message.
Profile Image for Erica.
40 reviews
May 24, 2013
This book is hilarious. Now that I'm married I don't have much need for it, but when I was younger I would always return to it after a breakup.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews

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