What do you think?
Rate this book
Ten Minutes from Home: A Memoir
Ten Minutes from Home is the poignant account of how a suburban New Jersey family struggles to come together after being shattered by tragedy.
In this searing, sparely written, and surprisingly wry memoir, Beth Greenfield shares what happens in 1982 when, as a twelve-year-old, she survives a drunk-driving accident that kills her younger brother Adam and best friend Kristin. As the benign concerns of adolescence are replaced by crushing guilt and grief, Beth searches for hope and support in some likely and not-so-likely places ( General Hospital, a kindly rabbi, the bottom of a keg), eventually discovering that while life is fragile, love doesn’t have to be.
Ten Minutes from Home exquisitely captures both the heartache of lost innocence and the solace of strength and survival.
In this searing, sparely written, and surprisingly wry memoir, Beth Greenfield shares what happens in 1982 when, as a twelve-year-old, she survives a drunk-driving accident that kills her younger brother Adam and best friend Kristin. As the benign concerns of adolescence are replaced by crushing guilt and grief, Beth searches for hope and support in some likely and not-so-likely places ( General Hospital, a kindly rabbi, the bottom of a keg), eventually discovering that while life is fragile, love doesn’t have to be.
Ten Minutes from Home exquisitely captures both the heartache of lost innocence and the solace of strength and survival.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
5 people are currently reading
185 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
June 10, 2010
Ten minutes from home, coming back from twelve-year old Beth's ballet recital, the family car was hit by a drunk driver. Beth's little brother and only sibling, Adam, and her best friend, Kristen, did not survive. This memoir, written 25 years later, is a heartfelt, touching memoir of grief, of coping and not coping, of the guilt of survival. Beth did not know how to deal with all she was feeling, and her parents, lost in their own fogs, were not able to help. She especially needed her mother and was angry and embarrassed when her mother couldn't be the rock she wanted. Friends didn't know how to react, how to express themselves. Beth felt both alienated from them and craved the extra attention she got.
If there was any mention of what happened to the driver who hit them, I somehow missed it, and I am curious about that.
Nicely written, this memoir is an emotional read but did not strike me as maudlin. It is an adult remembering the emotions of a child and it rings true as what a child would feel, not what an adult would imagine a child would feel. The copy I read was an uncorrected proof and had a few, not too many, mistakes that I assume are corrected in the published edition. One quote I found heartbreaking in the unintentional cruelty it spoke:
“After he was gone, my great aunt Mildred said, 'At least he was only adopted,' and my mom never forgave her.”
Ten Minutes from Home is a lovely little book that will touch anyone who has ever felt loss.
If there was any mention of what happened to the driver who hit them, I somehow missed it, and I am curious about that.
Nicely written, this memoir is an emotional read but did not strike me as maudlin. It is an adult remembering the emotions of a child and it rings true as what a child would feel, not what an adult would imagine a child would feel. The copy I read was an uncorrected proof and had a few, not too many, mistakes that I assume are corrected in the published edition. One quote I found heartbreaking in the unintentional cruelty it spoke:
“After he was gone, my great aunt Mildred said, 'At least he was only adopted,' and my mom never forgave her.”
Ten Minutes from Home is a lovely little book that will touch anyone who has ever felt loss.
May 28, 2015
This is written by a friend from high school who "virtually" found me just months before the book was published. I was able to attend her reading at the B&N back home but chose to not read the book until afterwards. Seeing her again was great, but the reading was very intense as nearly all if not all of us knew that it was about the car accident she and her parents were in that killed her little brother and best friend.
When I got home from the reading, I read half the book in one night (staying up till 3 or so) and then took about a month off because it was just too painful and beautiful and I was overwhelmed.
One of my favorite aspects of the book is that she never steps out of the moment to be her, now, age 40, reflecting back on what happened. She is always right there, twelve years old and then moving up to sixteen or so, the age we were just after we became friends.
I understand why it took her so long to write (well, to finish - she'd been writing it since right after the accident) and am so very glad she did and a publisher saw the incredible value.
When I got home from the reading, I read half the book in one night (staying up till 3 or so) and then took about a month off because it was just too painful and beautiful and I was overwhelmed.
One of my favorite aspects of the book is that she never steps out of the moment to be her, now, age 40, reflecting back on what happened. She is always right there, twelve years old and then moving up to sixteen or so, the age we were just after we became friends.
I understand why it took her so long to write (well, to finish - she'd been writing it since right after the accident) and am so very glad she did and a publisher saw the incredible value.
June 21, 2010
This memoir has stuck with me well after reading it. Beth survives a tragic car accident which killed her younger brother and friend. It is a window to her emotions which continue to affect her during the years to come. In an instant what should have been a carefree youth, was taken away by a drunk driver. I felt her grief reading the painful details as she moves forward. Her strength and survival is inspiring. I very rarely read memoirs but highly recommend this one.
December 16, 2010
Great writing, interesting topic, but oh, so sad. I really enjoyed her honesty as the author described her grieving process; how she felt sad but couldn't let it show, how sometimes she wanted to let her anguish wash over her yet also wanted to forget it had ever happened (often at the same time), how it influenced her rebellious behavior as a teen. A really fascinating and genuine view. No happy ending but if you feel the need for a good cry this can get you there.
January 29, 2013
I cried more with this book than any other book I have ever read I think. This memoir is just so tragic and touching. I could really feel the emotion that Beth was pulling from her heart and putting on paper. I am glad to have read this memoir and I will hold it in my heart for a long time.
Thanks for sharing Beth.
Thanks for sharing Beth.
September 22, 2021
3.5 stars
This is a terribly sad story and it's easy to be sucked into Greenfield's whirlpool of funk. I would advise to be careful reading this if you've recently had a difficult death in your family. It could also be cathartic if you've survived a similar situation. It's reassuring to know that other people also struggle with grief and that it can take years to resolve, if it ever completely resolves. My mother's cousin, and her family, were in a similar car accident. It was at least consoling to know that some of the feelings/memories were similar, and I'm glad she mentioned it all.
The gore. Dying in a car accident, in our case head on at a fast speed, is gory. It's horrific. You can't even imagine. And the images haunt you. I didn't see it, but I heard relatives talking about it in hushed tones, and it was awful.
The funeral. I went along, but stayed in the car. I didn't go into the church. But I saw the procession out, afterward, and seeing a small coffin which you know contains a cousin's body is something you'll never forget. All of the coffins.
The anniversaries that pop up. Driving over the same road. The mental grief and anguish which lingers long after physical injuries heal. Sometimes the mental pain is too great to survive.
Trying to contain the anger and forgive, release the person/soul who creates such instantaneous havoc.
This is a terribly sad story and it's easy to be sucked into Greenfield's whirlpool of funk. I would advise to be careful reading this if you've recently had a difficult death in your family. It could also be cathartic if you've survived a similar situation. It's reassuring to know that other people also struggle with grief and that it can take years to resolve, if it ever completely resolves. My mother's cousin, and her family, were in a similar car accident. It was at least consoling to know that some of the feelings/memories were similar, and I'm glad she mentioned it all.
The gore. Dying in a car accident, in our case head on at a fast speed, is gory. It's horrific. You can't even imagine. And the images haunt you. I didn't see it, but I heard relatives talking about it in hushed tones, and it was awful.
The funeral. I went along, but stayed in the car. I didn't go into the church. But I saw the procession out, afterward, and seeing a small coffin which you know contains a cousin's body is something you'll never forget. All of the coffins.
The anniversaries that pop up. Driving over the same road. The mental grief and anguish which lingers long after physical injuries heal. Sometimes the mental pain is too great to survive.
Trying to contain the anger and forgive, release the person/soul who creates such instantaneous havoc.
March 19, 2023
3.5 stars. It’s been a while since I’ve read a memoir and this one was a decent one. It’s the true story of how a young girl copes with loss (death of a brother and friend) during her pre-teen and teen years. It’s very sad, of course, but it seems that the author wants others to learn from her mistakes. She tended to try to deal with her grief on her own, instead of accepting love and comfort from her parents. And her poor mother and her would have benefited greatly by a true faith in God through all of their horrible tragedy. Several times while reading, I tried to put myself in their shoes. And I think my worldview is so different because of my belief in God and Jesus. (They are Jewish).
The last section of the book goes into all the sad and negative things that Beth did to cope with her grief: drugs, sex, drinking, suicidal thoughts… for that reason, I would not recommend this book to teens.
The last section of the book goes into all the sad and negative things that Beth did to cope with her grief: drugs, sex, drinking, suicidal thoughts… for that reason, I would not recommend this book to teens.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 14, 2021
In 1982, a drunk driver crashed into Greenfield's family's car. Greenfield and her parents survived. Her younger brother and her best friend, both in the car as well, did not. What follows is something of a sensemaking operation for something that cannot make sense: what do you do when two of the people you love most are there, and then they're gone? What does moving forward mean when an event cuts your life into before and after and there's a chasm between those realities?
There's a clear choice to keep the focus far from the drunk driver: the reader learns virtually nothing about him, or any consequences he may have faced after the fact; he is beside the point. Greenfield sticks mostly to the year following the crash, and she and her family—and Kristin's family—struggled to reconcile the reality of then and now. Moments of grace, like Kristin's mother pushing through her grief to be there for Greenfield, and things that are hard to compute, like Greenfield's mother having to notify the adoption agency through which they'd adopted Adam that he had died, but never knowing if or when his birth mother would find out. Ten Minutes from Home was published more than a decade ago, and I'm a little surprised not to have stumbled across it before now.
There's a clear choice to keep the focus far from the drunk driver: the reader learns virtually nothing about him, or any consequences he may have faced after the fact; he is beside the point. Greenfield sticks mostly to the year following the crash, and she and her family—and Kristin's family—struggled to reconcile the reality of then and now. Moments of grace, like Kristin's mother pushing through her grief to be there for Greenfield, and things that are hard to compute, like Greenfield's mother having to notify the adoption agency through which they'd adopted Adam that he had died, but never knowing if or when his birth mother would find out. Ten Minutes from Home was published more than a decade ago, and I'm a little surprised not to have stumbled across it before now.
September 23, 2020
I always like to read about grief and the lessons people learn
February 25, 2022
I liked it. Easy read regarding a tragedy.
July 26, 2022
Truly impressed; having a similar experience to the author, her ability to recall and write about it is remarkable.
June 10, 2023
In 1982, a drunk driver named Edward Pahule killed Beth Greenfield's brother and best friend in New Jersey. Greenfield's memoir is exquisitely written and devastating.
March 12, 2025
Good memoir about the effect of the actions of one drunk driver on the makeup of a family
May 9, 2011
Beth Greenfield was just 12 years old when, returning from her ballet recital, a drunk driver hit her family’s car, killing her little brother and her best friend. Her father was seriously injured but recovered, and her foot was broken.
In “Ten Minutes from Home” — how far away from their neighborhood they were when the accident happened — Greenfield shares how she and her parents navigated through the new world in which they found themselves living.
The three of them grieve very differently. Her mother retreats to her bed and tries repeatedly to talk to Greenfield about Adam’s death, but Greenfield shuts her out. Her father becomes active in fighting drunken driving.
Greenfield realizes as an adult just how angry she was with her mother for falling apart. “She was still slipping away as far as I was concerned, and though expressing and exploring her grief was, in her mind, all that kept her going, to me it felt, stubbornly, like she wouldn’t fight back — wouldn’t save herself and, in turn, wouldn’t save me.”
Greenfield goes through phases as she tries to find her place. She was, at different times, a majorette, a drama club member, a goth and a heavy-drinking party girl.
It’s only when she’s in college and home for a visit that she reaches back to her parents and the three of them finally find themselves on the same path, starting to grieve together. This is where the book ends, and it felt somewhat abrupt. I wanted to know more about what happened between then and now. But leaving a reader wanting more isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Three and a half stars out of five.
In “Ten Minutes from Home” — how far away from their neighborhood they were when the accident happened — Greenfield shares how she and her parents navigated through the new world in which they found themselves living.
The three of them grieve very differently. Her mother retreats to her bed and tries repeatedly to talk to Greenfield about Adam’s death, but Greenfield shuts her out. Her father becomes active in fighting drunken driving.
Greenfield realizes as an adult just how angry she was with her mother for falling apart. “She was still slipping away as far as I was concerned, and though expressing and exploring her grief was, in her mind, all that kept her going, to me it felt, stubbornly, like she wouldn’t fight back — wouldn’t save herself and, in turn, wouldn’t save me.”
Greenfield goes through phases as she tries to find her place. She was, at different times, a majorette, a drama club member, a goth and a heavy-drinking party girl.
It’s only when she’s in college and home for a visit that she reaches back to her parents and the three of them finally find themselves on the same path, starting to grieve together. This is where the book ends, and it felt somewhat abrupt. I wanted to know more about what happened between then and now. But leaving a reader wanting more isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Three and a half stars out of five.
October 8, 2010
Ten Minutes From Home is a well written memoir by Beth Greenfield, which tells the heartbreaking story of a car accident that takes the life of Beth's little brother Adam, and her best friend Kristen. In 1982, a drunk driver causes her family's accident. Beth chronicles her years after the accident, growing up in a home full of sadness and despair. She doesn't know how to deal with her grief, and becomes angry with her parents, especially her mother, because her mother outwardly expresses her sadness to anyone and everyone, which becomes an embarrassment to Beth.
Beth learns over the course of years how to deal with her grief and loss, with the help of school counselors and therapists. She and her parents grow close again. Although I have never had to deal with this kind of loss personally, I felt Beth's pain....her sadness and guilt, and completely understood her actions as she grew into a teenager, acting out in order to receive her parents attention. This is a very good memoir, one I will remember for a long time.
Beth learns over the course of years how to deal with her grief and loss, with the help of school counselors and therapists. She and her parents grow close again. Although I have never had to deal with this kind of loss personally, I felt Beth's pain....her sadness and guilt, and completely understood her actions as she grew into a teenager, acting out in order to receive her parents attention. This is a very good memoir, one I will remember for a long time.
Read
April 30, 2012Ten Minutes from Home: a Memoir, by Beth Greenfield,Narrated by Ann M. Richardson, Produced by Audible Inc., and downloaded from audible.com.
This is the memoir of Beth Greenfield and an event that occurred when she was twelve years old, in 1982, that changed her and her family’s life. Beth, her parents, her younger brother Adam,and her best friend Kristin, were on the way home from Beth’s ballet recital. A drunk driver came out of nowhere, hit the car, killed her younger brother and her best friend, and left the rest of the family with injuries which kept them in the hospital for a week. This is the story of how Beth learns what happened in the accident, and it details how Beth, her family, and Kristin’s family dealt with the aftermath of the accident. This is a very moving account particularly of Beth’s coming to terms with the accident over the years.
This is the memoir of Beth Greenfield and an event that occurred when she was twelve years old, in 1982, that changed her and her family’s life. Beth, her parents, her younger brother Adam,and her best friend Kristin, were on the way home from Beth’s ballet recital. A drunk driver came out of nowhere, hit the car, killed her younger brother and her best friend, and left the rest of the family with injuries which kept them in the hospital for a week. This is the story of how Beth learns what happened in the accident, and it details how Beth, her family, and Kristin’s family dealt with the aftermath of the accident. This is a very moving account particularly of Beth’s coming to terms with the accident over the years.
June 22, 2010
This was a great book that I was fortunate enough to win an advanced reader copy thru Read It Foreword. I liked it a lot and love the author's writing style. It was a deeply personal story that the author experienced thirty years ago, losing her adopted brother in an automobile accident and losing her best friend, Kristen. In the process she suffered a broken leg and to go thru her own grief and the grief of why was I spared. You can definitely tell that she is a writer and tells the story as if the reader is actually there, experiencing her pain and loss. I really enjoyed this book, it was a little bit depressing however, but a great read anyways. I also love some of the song references and some of the descriptions of things from my childhood that I almost forgotten.
March 11, 2016
I think that Beth Greenfield did an excellent job of retelling the horror of living through a traffic accident in which her best friend and younger brother were killed and her father gravely injured, and which left her mother in a debilitated emotional state. The wreck was caused by a drunk driver and happened after an outing which involved a dance recital in which the author starred. They never saw it coming. I think I would have liked to see the author go a little beyond what she wrote -- possibly to include more of the years following, the long-term effects, or -- I'm not sure what, but it seemed incomplete to me, like something was missing.
February 27, 2013
Meh, I really really wanted to like this book more and be moved by it. With the subject matter, I thought I would be. However, I think I would have different expectations if it was a YA book. It was written from an adult perspective when the child was 12 and these tragic events occurred but it just didn't do much for me. Beth Greenfield's writing style is easy and I admire memoir writing, I just wasn't enamored in a way that I expected to be. 2.5 stars!
May 26, 2010
Not one of my favorite memoirs, even though the subject (losing brother and best friend in car wreck) is tragic enough to suit my tastes. I'm learning that I really don't like childhood memoirs written from the vantage point of that childhood; I'd much rather read from the perspective of the adult who has learned from it all, for better or worse.
Want to read
June 12, 2010I am so thrilled about this book. Beth was a student in a Memoir Writing class I taught in New York and her writing really stood out. This is her memoir! Cannot wait to read it. I am so pleased for her and very touched that she's thanked me in the acknowledgments of her book!
August 7, 2010
Interesting memoir told from the point of view of a young survivor who loses her brother and best friend to a drunk driver. Trying to be a family again is tough especially since parents were not emotionally available to remaining child.
August 9, 2010
A memoir about a car accident which kills the author's little brother and her best friend. She is 12 years old at the time and the book tells how she learned to cope in the next few years but nothing about how she copes today, twenty five years later. Not a very interesting book.
January 9, 2011
Sad story, told from 12 year old perspective. I wish it had at least an epilogue telling a little about how she and her family are dealing with this tragedy as adults and how it affected her adult relationships. My heart goes out to her family.
February 8, 2012
Very moving. Well written and well paced. Felt slightly rushed at the end. A beautiful memoir about young grief and the attempt to find some way to recover from tragedy. This book spoke to me in a profound way.
May 24, 2016
In 1982 twelve-year-old Beth Greenfield's younger brother and her best friend were killed in a drunken-driving accident on the way home from Beth's ballet recital. Her courageous memoir tells how she and her parents struggled for years to come to grips with the tragedy.
April 25, 2010
Memoirs are generally not my thing, but Greenfield writes so beautifully and expresses herself so honestly that I was hooked.
Want to read
June 10, 2010woo hoo, another win! this one's not even a firstreads win, i won it on the read it forward website!!!
July 1, 2010
would love to hear more from this author. a moving story of grief. want to hear her stories of college and beyond.
July 2, 2010
A bit depressing, but worth the read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews