I Only Want to Get Married Once: Dating Secrets for Getting It Right the First Time

by Chana Levitan

For 22 years, Chana Levitan has been educating, mentoring, and enlightening people about how to find real potential in their relationships. Her classes on the topic are standing-room only. With this book, she is finally sharing her knowledge with a bigger audience. You'll find a smart, clear relationship guide with 10 essential questions that need to be asked before and during the dating process in order to spot long-term potential. Filled with real-life anecdotes and insightful dating advice, these chapters will help you better understand yourself and what you really need to succeed in building a loving marriage. There is no rule that heartbreak must be a prerequisite for good judgment! I Only Want to Get Married Once will help you get it right the first time and gain the confidence to steer through the decision making process of dating.

Genres: Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction

139 pages, Paperback

First published March 10, 2010

Reviews

[David Klompas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chana Levitan does a wonderful job of walking us through ten points which are sure to make any marriage a more successful enterprise.

[Melvin Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I only want to the married once” by Chana Levitan is a book that should be read carefully by anyone in the dating scene that may wish to get married at some point. It gives you a lot of no nonsense advice that should be listened to, such as how to tell infatuation from love. This book covers many important aspects of relationships such as how to assure your values are similar, how to set boundaries, and how to avoid an unhappy and unhealthy relationship with your potential spouse and in-laws. While there are no books that offer the great secret to a happy healthy marriage, this book seems to come fairly close in at least helping you make sure you realize when a relationship is unhealthy and break it off before it leads to marriage and the eventual divorce.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone with basically no dating experience, I was hoping that this could give me some insight into what I might be able to improve on. The good news is, I have the right priorities. The bad news is, it doesn't seem to actually turning into anything! Honestly, my biggest take away is probably the reinforcement that I'm demi because a lot of the situations described in the book were just things I couldn't even possibly imagine because there'd be no basis for a relationship.

While the main advice felt solid, there was definitely an underlying attitude that bugged me. For one thing, it dealt very strangely with abuse. At one point it basically said it was not the topic of the book and barely said two lines, but half of the behaviors described could be considered emotionally abusive at the least. Perhaps how we talk about these things has changed in the last decade, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Especially when it framed things as "mistakes" when it really seemed like the person making the "mistake" had been manipulated by an abusive partner. There were some other tone issues that bugged me as well.

Ultimately, not as useful as I hoped, though it did help contextualize a few things. Also made me realize that I can't look at self help books for straight people.

[Catalina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really like it. While reading it, I kept photographing paragraphs and sending them to my fiancé for discussions. It opened up some topics we didn't realize we needed to talk about in order to improve our relationship.

[EY ❤️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

🌟My ratings/reviews🌟

One star: ⭐️ The book was horrible, should be banned from existence

Two stars: ⭐️⭐️The book was either slow, boring, lacked plot, not interesting, poorly written, but does not necessarily deserve a one star rating

Three star: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ The book had some really interesting and enjoyable parts to it and some really meh/underwhelming parts to it. Overall not a bad book, but not necessarily great either

Four stars: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This was a great book, interesting, well written, had plot, great character development, I wanted to read more, enjoyable, worth the read 

Five stars: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Everything a four star has but this book was memorable, stands out, the plot was plotting, I have re-read it cuz it's that good or I want to re-read it cuz it's that good, the author was impressively clever, there was either a crazy plot twist or a beautifully written full circle moment, I genuinely loved the characters, pulled on my heart strings, definitely recommend

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chana Levitan is a very approachable person. She sets things straight for those who are looking for a meaningful relationship.

[Ka Nik · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve heard that it’s a intriguing book

[Ayden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t usually like self-help books but this one was very accessible
Every idea had an example and the tools needed to achieve them

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I might reread this a few times!
Great advice!

[rosesbooksandcake · Rating 3 out of 5]

I especially liked what it was saying at the end about how love is a choice and a verb. The tone throughout the book is easy to follow and engaging. There’s good advice here.

Marriage is important, and should be viewed as such. As Levitan emphasises, we want to make sure we go into it with the right person (and ensure we’re the right person as well). It’s not a decision that should be rushed. It takes careful consideration to get it right the first and only time.

[Lauren Monsey Nagel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read my share of dating books but this is the first time I've come across one with practical advice. This book offers much needed insights which are frequently overlooked in the mist of a relationship. This book is sensible and real. One of the most important choices adults make is who they marry. I certainly believe this book has the tools to bring much needed wisdom into the picture even long before meeting that someone. Chana has spent 22 years educating and counseling men and woman and now I say hat's off to you Chana Levitan for writing this book "I only want to get married once" That's the way it should be.

Thanks to Librarything Early Reviewers and also Gefen Publishing for hooking me up with this book.
I am very pleased to have read this.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

EXCELLENT! The cover title is just so clever but, don't judge a book by it's cover, it's great on the inside too! Chana Levitan breaks down the complex topic of who to marry into 10 questions to ask yourself before marrying this person. I like how this book is written in a way so that it is accessible to everyone: daters, people in relationships, married people, and even divorced people. This is not a book you just read once but one to come to again and again before making the decision of whether or not to marry someone. I also believe that even though Levitan's expertise are based in Jewish thought that this book can be applied to and will be relevant to absolutely everyone. Bravo! A definite must-read for all.

[Jeremiah Stover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Only Want to Get Married Once is a book everyone would read. It's about becoming the right kind of person so that you can build the right kind of relationships and ultimately the right kind of marriage. Not just a marriage that will last but a happy marriage![return][return]I cant' believe how much important information Chana has packed into such a relatively small space. This is not just another nice book on dating; this is the best book on relationships that I have ever read. Become the person you should be while learning to ask the right questions. Questions that will let you know when you have met the right person for marriage.

[Michael Feldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a MUST read. Most relationship books I have seen are generally geared towards women, but this book gives advice to anyone who is looking for a great marriage. I have personally seen huge gains in my life, since the points throughout the book really opened my eyes to what's important in a relationship. This information is priceless and I highly recommend it.

[Marianna Feldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides all the information that the world today needs in order to make smarter decisions while dating. Anyone who still looking for their special someone or simply wants to better their relationship will find the information written in this book extremely helpful. The author's deep insights into relationships and people are seen very clearly through her writing.