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上流教養：當紐約豪門家教遇上第五大道的佛洛伊德
直擊金字塔頂端的家庭教育現場，
撼動人心的社會觀察！
歡迎來到紐約曼哈頓頂級富豪的教養世界，
在這裡，學術是一種痴迷；財富無助於緩解地位焦慮；
父母想盡一切辦法，只為讓孩子在激烈的競爭中出類拔萃——
光鮮亮麗的表象之下，我們看見的卻是扭曲失能的另一面。
這本細膩的記事，讓常以誇張手法呈現的世界充滿了人性。──《出版人週刊》
對為人父母者財富和權勢的近距離審視，發人深省。──《柯克斯書評》
布萊絲沒想到自己有朝一日能靠著分析《大亨小傳》而成為曼哈頓的搶手家教！她原本可以樂在其中，但是當她深入豪門之家成為孩子們的家教之後，卻忍不住成為佛洛伊德的化身，也窺見了金字塔頂端家庭的另一面。
在一次偶然的機會下，布萊絲幫助一位豪門富家千金的成績從B＋進步到A，從此成為上流社會的熱門教師，也為她打開了上流教養世界的大門。這些家庭的孩子多半居住在第五大道中央公園附近，生活方式極盡奢華。家有變故就住五星級酒店；平日嗜好收集名流穿的天價品牌運動鞋；想逃避課業壓力就搭私人飛機去度假——她見到富豪家庭如何運用特權教養孩子，更窺見許多光怪陸離的景象。
這些孩子的富豪雙親已習於完全掌控孩子的生活行程。早晨把孩子送去學校後，就和其他父母在校旁咖啡館交流情報。他們以孩子的學習障礙為由讓老師允許孩子重考以提高成績。如果孩子的表現總是無法達到要求，他們也總有其他辦法：向校方施壓或是開出更多的支票。孩子放學後還有無止境的課程，除了基本的學業要求，還要學習樂器、參加各項運動培訓。這些父母將優秀的學歷當成上流家庭不可或缺的一部分，對孩子的教養採取嚴苛高壓的方式，唯一的目標就是確保他們進入一流學府。
而在外界看來令人艷羨的物質生活之下，孩子的精神狀態又是怎麼一回事呢？他們與家人的相處模式與時間，都與一般平凡家庭大相逕庭。這些孩子不僅價值觀、世界觀與他人不同，所感受到的孤寂、壓力、甚至種種心理上的症狀也超乎常人所能想像。坐享豪門家庭資源的同時，卻無法依隨己心選擇未來的道路，下場常是壓抑隱藏內心的空洞與缺陷。但這些面向往往也最常被掩飾在豪門家庭的亮麗表面下。布萊絲在其中看到的，正是孩子們在富豪家庭生活裡培養出的扭曲價值觀。
這些孩子為了應付家長們的高標準要求，學會的是逃避和謊言，長期生養在溫室裡也缺乏同情心及同理心。父母的安排讓他們飽受焦慮困擾，而父母操縱孩子的人生其實反映的更是自身焦慮。他們希望孩子能出類拔萃，卻忽略了孩子健全的身心發展。這些孩子看似擁有金字塔頂端的待遇，心裡的匱乏與焦慮卻與貧民區無異，憂鬱和染毒的比例更是遠高於貧民區。在光鮮華麗的豪門家庭表面背後，卻藏著孩子內心的複雜故事。
布萊絲在書中也以《大亨小傳》做為美國夢的呼應。在穿梭於紐約第五大道的歲月中，她不時身陷在盡責的豪門家教及窺奇似的佛洛伊德心理分析兩種狀態。書末她回顧近二十年的家教生活，表示自己在紐約街頭仍會偶爾與長大成人的孩子及家長們不期而遇，深深感到這些孩子已成為她生命的一部分。最後她決定搬離紐約，也仍在思考美國夢的真實意義。
本書在抒情中帶著批判，質疑中亦有溫情。她如實道出在教育現場經歷的各種體制缺陷，也點出孩子面臨的超載壓力。孩子的教養與大人的生活息息相關，全書不僅如同紐約富人的浮世繪，也是飽受焦慮煎熬的豪門家庭縮影。當今的孩子正因承載大人的過度期望而邁向崩解。透過本書，布萊絲向我們展示了美國最富裕家庭的特權世界，以及造成他們足以保持巔峰狀態的制度缺陷。
書中記錄的故事皆為真實案例，作者為保護當事人皆以化名處理。身在教育第一線，全書呈現的美國當代教育資訊亦頗具參考價值，更可供所有家長及讀者們思考對照。
本書特色
●本書明確點出教育制度與金權結構造成的共業，是美國當代教育現場的第一手觀察。
●書中經歷皆改寫自真實案例，發人深省。
●作者以名著《大亨小傳》貫穿全書，抒情筆法中帶有批判力道，讓人印象深刻。
●身處美國教育體系內，作者將所見所聞娓娓道來，對於想了解美國教育制度者亦具參考價值。
撼動人心的社會觀察！
歡迎來到紐約曼哈頓頂級富豪的教養世界，
在這裡，學術是一種痴迷；財富無助於緩解地位焦慮；
父母想盡一切辦法，只為讓孩子在激烈的競爭中出類拔萃——
光鮮亮麗的表象之下，我們看見的卻是扭曲失能的另一面。
這本細膩的記事，讓常以誇張手法呈現的世界充滿了人性。──《出版人週刊》
對為人父母者財富和權勢的近距離審視，發人深省。──《柯克斯書評》
布萊絲沒想到自己有朝一日能靠著分析《大亨小傳》而成為曼哈頓的搶手家教！她原本可以樂在其中，但是當她深入豪門之家成為孩子們的家教之後，卻忍不住成為佛洛伊德的化身，也窺見了金字塔頂端家庭的另一面。
在一次偶然的機會下，布萊絲幫助一位豪門富家千金的成績從B＋進步到A，從此成為上流社會的熱門教師，也為她打開了上流教養世界的大門。這些家庭的孩子多半居住在第五大道中央公園附近，生活方式極盡奢華。家有變故就住五星級酒店；平日嗜好收集名流穿的天價品牌運動鞋；想逃避課業壓力就搭私人飛機去度假——她見到富豪家庭如何運用特權教養孩子，更窺見許多光怪陸離的景象。
這些孩子的富豪雙親已習於完全掌控孩子的生活行程。早晨把孩子送去學校後，就和其他父母在校旁咖啡館交流情報。他們以孩子的學習障礙為由讓老師允許孩子重考以提高成績。如果孩子的表現總是無法達到要求，他們也總有其他辦法：向校方施壓或是開出更多的支票。孩子放學後還有無止境的課程，除了基本的學業要求，還要學習樂器、參加各項運動培訓。這些父母將優秀的學歷當成上流家庭不可或缺的一部分，對孩子的教養採取嚴苛高壓的方式，唯一的目標就是確保他們進入一流學府。
而在外界看來令人艷羨的物質生活之下，孩子的精神狀態又是怎麼一回事呢？他們與家人的相處模式與時間，都與一般平凡家庭大相逕庭。這些孩子不僅價值觀、世界觀與他人不同，所感受到的孤寂、壓力、甚至種種心理上的症狀也超乎常人所能想像。坐享豪門家庭資源的同時，卻無法依隨己心選擇未來的道路，下場常是壓抑隱藏內心的空洞與缺陷。但這些面向往往也最常被掩飾在豪門家庭的亮麗表面下。布萊絲在其中看到的，正是孩子們在富豪家庭生活裡培養出的扭曲價值觀。
這些孩子為了應付家長們的高標準要求，學會的是逃避和謊言，長期生養在溫室裡也缺乏同情心及同理心。父母的安排讓他們飽受焦慮困擾，而父母操縱孩子的人生其實反映的更是自身焦慮。他們希望孩子能出類拔萃，卻忽略了孩子健全的身心發展。這些孩子看似擁有金字塔頂端的待遇，心裡的匱乏與焦慮卻與貧民區無異，憂鬱和染毒的比例更是遠高於貧民區。在光鮮華麗的豪門家庭表面背後，卻藏著孩子內心的複雜故事。
布萊絲在書中也以《大亨小傳》做為美國夢的呼應。在穿梭於紐約第五大道的歲月中，她不時身陷在盡責的豪門家教及窺奇似的佛洛伊德心理分析兩種狀態。書末她回顧近二十年的家教生活，表示自己在紐約街頭仍會偶爾與長大成人的孩子及家長們不期而遇，深深感到這些孩子已成為她生命的一部分。最後她決定搬離紐約，也仍在思考美國夢的真實意義。
本書在抒情中帶著批判，質疑中亦有溫情。她如實道出在教育現場經歷的各種體制缺陷，也點出孩子面臨的超載壓力。孩子的教養與大人的生活息息相關，全書不僅如同紐約富人的浮世繪，也是飽受焦慮煎熬的豪門家庭縮影。當今的孩子正因承載大人的過度期望而邁向崩解。透過本書，布萊絲向我們展示了美國最富裕家庭的特權世界，以及造成他們足以保持巔峰狀態的制度缺陷。
書中記錄的故事皆為真實案例，作者為保護當事人皆以化名處理。身在教育第一線，全書呈現的美國當代教育資訊亦頗具參考價值，更可供所有家長及讀者們思考對照。
本書特色
●本書明確點出教育制度與金權結構造成的共業，是美國當代教育現場的第一手觀察。
●書中經歷皆改寫自真實案例，發人深省。
●作者以名著《大亨小傳》貫穿全書，抒情筆法中帶有批判力道，讓人印象深刻。
●身處美國教育體系內，作者將所見所聞娓娓道來，對於想了解美國教育制度者亦具參考價值。
203 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 17, 2021
332 people are currently reading
2313 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 329 reviews
May 27, 2022
This was ok, but not as good as I'd expected.
Did I learn something new by reading this book? Not much. The book is weighed down with studies and statistics I'd already come across in other books. Also, a lot of the problems and situations discussed in this book aren't common to wealthy students only.
Overall, this book was only somewhat interesting and mostly redundant.
Did I learn something new by reading this book? Not much. The book is weighed down with studies and statistics I'd already come across in other books. Also, a lot of the problems and situations discussed in this book aren't common to wealthy students only.
Overall, this book was only somewhat interesting and mostly redundant.
August 21, 2021
3.5 stars
This is a fascinating memoir about a woman who has been a tutor for the wealthiest of the wealthy students. She combines anecdotes about the students she tutored (composites from years of tutoring, this isn't a "tell all" book, it's an analysis) with studies and observations about learning, education, and college admissions.
I personally would have liked it to be organized in a more straightforward manner. There are times where the objective/statistical information is so heavy and goes on for longer than it needs to, and I found myself wishing for more stories and anecdotes about the students and their parents.
I could definitely relate to this book because I have children who are currently in college. I am intimately familiar with standardized testing, grades, and how college admissions works. Seeing this through the eyes of the incredibly wealthy is both eye-opening and a bit disheartening for those of us not in that bracket.
Overall though, I appreciated her observations about the mindset of these affluent families. It is so far from the way the rest of us think of things that it almost seems like fiction. It is no wonder that many of these young adults crash and burn when they get to college as they have had their entire lives micromanaged to the nth degree and they don't know how to handle the freedom of choice. That's such a minor part of it though, Grossberg does it so much more justice with her analysis in the book.
If you're interested in the subject matter, this is a fascinating memoir. It's definitely not for everyone as the statistics and studies will probably not be relatable for many readers. If you're looking for a "tell all" memoir about the elite then you will be slightly disappointed because it's more thoughtful than that.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
This is a fascinating memoir about a woman who has been a tutor for the wealthiest of the wealthy students. She combines anecdotes about the students she tutored (composites from years of tutoring, this isn't a "tell all" book, it's an analysis) with studies and observations about learning, education, and college admissions.
I personally would have liked it to be organized in a more straightforward manner. There are times where the objective/statistical information is so heavy and goes on for longer than it needs to, and I found myself wishing for more stories and anecdotes about the students and their parents.
I could definitely relate to this book because I have children who are currently in college. I am intimately familiar with standardized testing, grades, and how college admissions works. Seeing this through the eyes of the incredibly wealthy is both eye-opening and a bit disheartening for those of us not in that bracket.
Overall though, I appreciated her observations about the mindset of these affluent families. It is so far from the way the rest of us think of things that it almost seems like fiction. It is no wonder that many of these young adults crash and burn when they get to college as they have had their entire lives micromanaged to the nth degree and they don't know how to handle the freedom of choice. That's such a minor part of it though, Grossberg does it so much more justice with her analysis in the book.
If you're interested in the subject matter, this is a fascinating memoir. It's definitely not for everyone as the statistics and studies will probably not be relatable for many readers. If you're looking for a "tell all" memoir about the elite then you will be slightly disappointed because it's more thoughtful than that.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
August 20, 2021
This book was not at all what I thought it would be. Feels like the author has a chip on her shoulder.
October 8, 2025
This definitely wasn't the juicy tell-all of the behind-the-scenes households of Manhattan's elite that I was expecting. It was much more about school work, learning types, and disabilities. I feel this would be much more intriguing to teachers or nannies, but I was hoping for a bit more pulp from it.
October 1, 2021
I didn’t even finish this book because it was so annoying. Seems like the author has a chip on her shoulder yet still continues to tutor the elite because it’s a “who saved who” environment. Lots of shade thrown at Brooklyn, micro aggressions masked as caring, sweeping generalizations and other odd statements.
Edit - I continued to hate-read the book.
My continued thoughts -
She’s making it seem like she’s doing the world a favor by working six days a week, when it seems like she doesn’t necessarily need every bit of money she’s working for? She also wants to make sure the reader knows that she CARES about kids and mentioned (multiple times) that she never changes her amount she charges (but don’t worry! She has a sliding scale) and is proud that she hasn’t raised it in all of her years of tutoring even though she could.
This quote is annoying - “I often arrive when the other [tutors] are still there, and we telegraph sympathetic messages to each other while working with the children in the family”. Like GIRL! You don’t have to take this job???? She is part of this world and is making a choice to tutor these kids but she is making is seem like she has no choice.
I’m trying to figure out why I’m so agitated. Like yes this group of people are egregiously wealthy in a way I don’t understand. However, you’re choosing to not only tutor private school kids but ALSO work at a private school (no judgment) but if you’re complaining so much about the people you’re working for, why don’t you make a change?
(This review is obviously a rant and a way for me to remember how I felt about this book.)
Edit - I continued to hate-read the book.
My continued thoughts -
She’s making it seem like she’s doing the world a favor by working six days a week, when it seems like she doesn’t necessarily need every bit of money she’s working for? She also wants to make sure the reader knows that she CARES about kids and mentioned (multiple times) that she never changes her amount she charges (but don’t worry! She has a sliding scale) and is proud that she hasn’t raised it in all of her years of tutoring even though she could.
This quote is annoying - “I often arrive when the other [tutors] are still there, and we telegraph sympathetic messages to each other while working with the children in the family”. Like GIRL! You don’t have to take this job???? She is part of this world and is making a choice to tutor these kids but she is making is seem like she has no choice.
I’m trying to figure out why I’m so agitated. Like yes this group of people are egregiously wealthy in a way I don’t understand. However, you’re choosing to not only tutor private school kids but ALSO work at a private school (no judgment) but if you’re complaining so much about the people you’re working for, why don’t you make a change?
(This review is obviously a rant and a way for me to remember how I felt about this book.)
August 27, 2021
Interesting, but very repetitive. Summary: rich kids are stressed under the weight of expectations and don’t have the space to just be kids. Actually, a few times when I was listening to the audio I thought I skipped back a chapter accidentally because it sounded so similar.
July 16, 2021
Grossberg writes a very revealing book about affluent students she tutored over a 20 year period in Manahttan. I felt so much empathy for the students she discusses. They were over scheduled, led a much too structured life, and felt nothing but endless pressure to get the best grade and get into an Ivy League school. As I read, I just kept shaking my head at what I was reading. The parents who blame everyone else for a B grade, students who have no common sense and who don't read but expect to pass comprehensive exams with flying colors. It really is a depressing reality. Hats off the the author for being a tutor to these high strung students. This world is so different from my life and how I was reared, and for that I remain grateful. It's an enlightening read. Thanks to Hanover Square Press and NetGalley for the advance copy.
August 22, 2021
This book was a fun and interesting read. As a former nanny in Manhattan/Dumbo and a public school teacher at a Title 1 school, it addressed many of the issues around children, education, and social class that I’ve been ruminating on for years. Sometimes I wished the author betrayed more frustration with the parents of these children, who possess such whacked-out values, but I was ultimately grateful and challenged by her insights into how difficult school can be for children with learning challenges and what is owed them by their teachers.
December 10, 2021
What a bizarre book. This book predominantly focuses on how difficult life is for the kids of the top 1% of NYC (which is an extremely small group of people), while sometimes using poorer people as props (referencing the similarity of behavior between wealthy white children and an immigrant student on scholarship who are both struggling or comparing the assistants to one banker to the yellow minions from Despicable Me).
I'm not sure who this book is for — does she expect that her former clients will read this and be softer on their kids? Are we supposed to share some of our empathy for these silver spoon kids when others in the same city are housing / food insecure?
Beyond all that, the work is deeply repetitive, with entire paragraphs appearing over and over again. There are dozens of references to the Great Gatsby, half a dozen half-baked references to Freud that feel more like namedrops than actual pieces of analysis, and a weird obsession with the word "insouciance." Overall, not a fun time, despite an intriguing premise and a few interesting anecdotes.
I'm not sure who this book is for — does she expect that her former clients will read this and be softer on their kids? Are we supposed to share some of our empathy for these silver spoon kids when others in the same city are housing / food insecure?
Beyond all that, the work is deeply repetitive, with entire paragraphs appearing over and over again. There are dozens of references to the Great Gatsby, half a dozen half-baked references to Freud that feel more like namedrops than actual pieces of analysis, and a weird obsession with the word "insouciance." Overall, not a fun time, despite an intriguing premise and a few interesting anecdotes.
November 27, 2023
If you were attracted by the word "Hamptons," this book is not for you. Although Grossberg spends many excruciating hours with the uberrich, there's little glamour associated with her book. Nor does much of it take place in the Hamptons. Despite her PhD, she whines along with her ultra wealthy students. We learn that rich UES families take advantage of every loophole in the educational system to get their bratty, entitled kids into the Ivy League.
GASP!!! But is this a shock to anyone?
It wasn't to F. Scott Fitzgerald, who wrote Gatsby. That was a century ago. Oddly, as often as she mentions Gatsby, she seems not to understand it.
The author discusses UES/NYC views on private schools and the pressure to perform. As the tale unspools, the reader is left to wonder the point. Average, low- or slightly above-average students seek her services so that they may buy into the Ivy experience.
This book is a retelling of the lengths to which unmotivated, lazy students are prepped for homework and to take tests, while the parents make huge donations to select schools. Grossberg tutors them in literature in HS. The students appear to have almost no interest in any literature or subject presented to them. They have trouble recalling basic plots and characters in such books as Gatsby. I never figure out why anyone is pushing for these arrogant families to get a place at schools in which they can never do well. It appears only to be "building a brand." They want Harvard or Yale on their resumes, even though the work in an accelerated public high school is far beyond their capabilities.
Grossberg minimizes the problems of these kids. She dismisses a shoplifting spree a favorite student goes on as acting out, when the student is caught stealing a pair of diamond earrings worth several thousand dollars. Another student experiments with drugs, as his cousin does. Not even at the cousin's funeral from an OD on oxycontin does the author seem to realize what's going on.
Considering how much time Grossberg spends walking aimlessly around New York (which is NOT Boston, near her hometown suburb), she manages to interpret so much incorrectly. While Bed-Stuy is becoming gentrified, it's hardly identical to the UES, as she would believe. She refers to the Fairway supermarkets as upscale. At that point, I had to put the book down to laugh. Fairway is a grimy, down to earth chain with few niceties. NOTHING about it says upscale. She incorrectly identifies midtown Manhattan as a dark and crime ridden area. Check the NYPD precinct reports. Midtown Manhattan is safer than most towns any reader lives in.
She’s a very loyal retainer. Daughter of 2 attorneys, Grossberg wrote this book with a dark undercurrent of personal issues. She refuses to increase her client fees. She points out clients are the top 1% of the 1%. Yet she’s undercharging them? And talking about having holes in her shoes? She can't afford necessities for her autistic son? She mentions a husband a few times, but he seems to have no role in her life or her son's. I don't get it. Geez Louise.
Even weirder is her preference for spending as much time as possible away from her own autistic son. He gets little mention except as a worsening problem.
Grossberg herself is clearly depressed and anxious. The book suffers from a lack of editing. She attempts to create a central theme but fails. As several others have noted, once she latches onto a word, it'll be repeated into meaninglessness. "Axiomatic" used often where "self-evident" would have worked better, drove me nuts.
If you’re looking for a book on how bizarre the fantastically rich are, this will be satisfying. Otherwise, skip it.
GASP!!! But is this a shock to anyone?
It wasn't to F. Scott Fitzgerald, who wrote Gatsby. That was a century ago. Oddly, as often as she mentions Gatsby, she seems not to understand it.
The author discusses UES/NYC views on private schools and the pressure to perform. As the tale unspools, the reader is left to wonder the point. Average, low- or slightly above-average students seek her services so that they may buy into the Ivy experience.
This book is a retelling of the lengths to which unmotivated, lazy students are prepped for homework and to take tests, while the parents make huge donations to select schools. Grossberg tutors them in literature in HS. The students appear to have almost no interest in any literature or subject presented to them. They have trouble recalling basic plots and characters in such books as Gatsby. I never figure out why anyone is pushing for these arrogant families to get a place at schools in which they can never do well. It appears only to be "building a brand." They want Harvard or Yale on their resumes, even though the work in an accelerated public high school is far beyond their capabilities.
Grossberg minimizes the problems of these kids. She dismisses a shoplifting spree a favorite student goes on as acting out, when the student is caught stealing a pair of diamond earrings worth several thousand dollars. Another student experiments with drugs, as his cousin does. Not even at the cousin's funeral from an OD on oxycontin does the author seem to realize what's going on.
Considering how much time Grossberg spends walking aimlessly around New York (which is NOT Boston, near her hometown suburb), she manages to interpret so much incorrectly. While Bed-Stuy is becoming gentrified, it's hardly identical to the UES, as she would believe. She refers to the Fairway supermarkets as upscale. At that point, I had to put the book down to laugh. Fairway is a grimy, down to earth chain with few niceties. NOTHING about it says upscale. She incorrectly identifies midtown Manhattan as a dark and crime ridden area. Check the NYPD precinct reports. Midtown Manhattan is safer than most towns any reader lives in.
She’s a very loyal retainer. Daughter of 2 attorneys, Grossberg wrote this book with a dark undercurrent of personal issues. She refuses to increase her client fees. She points out clients are the top 1% of the 1%. Yet she’s undercharging them? And talking about having holes in her shoes? She can't afford necessities for her autistic son? She mentions a husband a few times, but he seems to have no role in her life or her son's. I don't get it. Geez Louise.
Even weirder is her preference for spending as much time as possible away from her own autistic son. He gets little mention except as a worsening problem.
Grossberg herself is clearly depressed and anxious. The book suffers from a lack of editing. She attempts to create a central theme but fails. As several others have noted, once she latches onto a word, it'll be repeated into meaninglessness. "Axiomatic" used often where "self-evident" would have worked better, drove me nuts.
If you’re looking for a book on how bizarre the fantastically rich are, this will be satisfying. Otherwise, skip it.
August 24, 2021
Brilliant and disturbing in equal measure. Reading this (1) reinforces why I'm a teacher, and (2) reinforces why I'm very VERY glad I'm not a teacher in any American system of education. This is a beautifully written revelation.
October 6, 2021
This author needs a writing tutor. It's a very poorly written book that has ADHD, hopping and skipping all over the place with no sense of order. Ironic, since it's authored by a woman with a doctorate in psychology who claims to be an expert on ADHD.
It's too bad because some of the stories that she shares are somewhat interesting, but it's extremely repetitive, boring, and would have made a better magazine article. The author seems fixated on The Great Gatsby (which is about the only example of literature mentioned throughout) and on Freud (who she claims she doesn't agree with, though she certainly mentions his theories a lot!). There are a few research studies mentioned but mostly in places that make no sense and by the end of each chapter you wonder how Grossberg manages to organize anything because she is simply all over the place.
If you're looking for a fun memoir about dealing with the elite you won't find it here. It is more of a paint-by-numbers picture of the upper 1%, framed in very politically correct language. Some of the things she says are so ridiculously New York City that she is out of touch with reality and has spent too much time among the upper class. At least she admits her own privilege, though she misuses it to try to confess to having advantages that often were earned and not awarded her. She makes too much money from her clients to put things in simple English or to reveal the disturbing truths about Park Avenue.
It's a tough read, filled with her biased views without any real bite or conclusions. If she turned this in for class I'd give her a D-. She must have left her writing skills in the Hamptons.
It's too bad because some of the stories that she shares are somewhat interesting, but it's extremely repetitive, boring, and would have made a better magazine article. The author seems fixated on The Great Gatsby (which is about the only example of literature mentioned throughout) and on Freud (who she claims she doesn't agree with, though she certainly mentions his theories a lot!). There are a few research studies mentioned but mostly in places that make no sense and by the end of each chapter you wonder how Grossberg manages to organize anything because she is simply all over the place.
If you're looking for a fun memoir about dealing with the elite you won't find it here. It is more of a paint-by-numbers picture of the upper 1%, framed in very politically correct language. Some of the things she says are so ridiculously New York City that she is out of touch with reality and has spent too much time among the upper class. At least she admits her own privilege, though she misuses it to try to confess to having advantages that often were earned and not awarded her. She makes too much money from her clients to put things in simple English or to reveal the disturbing truths about Park Avenue.
It's a tough read, filled with her biased views without any real bite or conclusions. If she turned this in for class I'd give her a D-. She must have left her writing skills in the Hamptons.
January 27, 2022
This was so interesting! I picked it up on a whim because I work with students who go to private schools in NYC and it was like entering a world I’ll never be a part of (which is so cool when books can do that). Really great writing too - she follows a few noteworthy and distinctly different students throughout the book and develops their characters well. She touches on so many aspects that I never would have considered: the way wealth and class can seep into the classroom (students using expensive designer shoeboxes for school projects), or how these private schools provide scholarships to students from a lower socioeconomic class but don’t actually make the school accessible to them by still holding parent-teacher meetings in the middle of the day when most working-class parents can’t take off.
It was a short and quick read and if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to grow up as a New York City kid from an affluent family, I would recommend this! Rated it 4 instead of 5 because at times it became too statistical when the parts I enjoyed the most were the personal stories and anecdotes.
It was a short and quick read and if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to grow up as a New York City kid from an affluent family, I would recommend this! Rated it 4 instead of 5 because at times it became too statistical when the parts I enjoyed the most were the personal stories and anecdotes.
November 18, 2021
I was just so bored reading this book! And I was an English teacher! So I thought it would be particularly interesting to me. I got so tired listening to her talk about what an AMAZING teacher and tutor she was, and how she just couldn't accept a pay raise of any kind from these very wealthy patrons over the 10 or 15 years she tutored (WHY? What was the point she was making there??) which was supposed to make me feel like she was some kind of altruistic saint? I finally just stopped reading it, and I have no plans to start again. So I know it's not entirely fair to rate a book you haven't completely read, but for the first half I DID read, I stand by my rating.
(Weirdly), it just wasn't for me.
(Weirdly), it just wasn't for me.
September 16, 2021
Eye-opening and relevant
So much to talk about. This book shows that problems aren't wiped away because you have the means to purchase material things. Having the best of everything and at your finger tips doesn't exclude you from pressure from peers and parents. The book showed that anxiety and the pressure to measure up has no financial status attached to it. Poor or rich we all can be struggling mentally and emotionally. Coping with the pressure to be your best at such a high level was very difficult for parents and children alike.
I recommend. I apologize for scrambled thoughts.
I received an advanced reader copy from Harlequin/Hanover Square Press via Netgalley
So much to talk about. This book shows that problems aren't wiped away because you have the means to purchase material things. Having the best of everything and at your finger tips doesn't exclude you from pressure from peers and parents. The book showed that anxiety and the pressure to measure up has no financial status attached to it. Poor or rich we all can be struggling mentally and emotionally. Coping with the pressure to be your best at such a high level was very difficult for parents and children alike.
I recommend. I apologize for scrambled thoughts.
I received an advanced reader copy from Harlequin/Hanover Square Press via Netgalley
November 22, 2021
I enjoyed this book and the author made very salient points about the impact of affluence on education, both positive and negative. However, I did think her writing style was redundant and parenthetical clarifications were repeated throughout (as though we needed a refresh of the clarification in each chapter.) Overall, I think it is worth reading and gaining some deeper understanding.
Both my mom and my boyfriend teach in very wealthy schools in the areas where they live, and so there were points when I could relate to the actions of the parents/students and the reactions of teachers/tutors.
Both my mom and my boyfriend teach in very wealthy schools in the areas where they live, and so there were points when I could relate to the actions of the parents/students and the reactions of teachers/tutors.
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December 2, 2021DNF. “Axiomatic” & “insouciant” used way too many times. A lot of poor English: “where I work at.” Very unimpressed; a book where the poor writing detracts from the content of the material.
October 7, 2021
Didn’t understand the point of this book. Only made it 20% in. Felt like the author was trying to bash on her clients and elevate herself. Confused.
December 31, 2024
Super fascinating look into the education and lives of Manhattan’s elites. Grossberg’s conclusions about the rat race these students are trapped in has me thinking a bit about my time teaching as well. This memoir gave me a fuller perspective on the lives of “the one percent.”
February 6, 2024
An interesting, but at times, repetitive
memoir of a tutor working with the top 1% of New York’s elite school population. I can’t remember who recommended it to me. I’m not sure it would be of interest to anyone not in education. I would definitely recommend listening and not reading - I think it could be statistic heavy if you read it.
I appreciated her observations, but most of them weren’t eye opening or new to me. Basically … kids who are too busy, too stressed or whose parents are too busy for them find it difficult to be successful - no matter how much money they have to throw at the situation (in short!)
memoir of a tutor working with the top 1% of New York’s elite school population. I can’t remember who recommended it to me. I’m not sure it would be of interest to anyone not in education. I would definitely recommend listening and not reading - I think it could be statistic heavy if you read it.
I appreciated her observations, but most of them weren’t eye opening or new to me. Basically … kids who are too busy, too stressed or whose parents are too busy for them find it difficult to be successful - no matter how much money they have to throw at the situation (in short!)
June 26, 2024
3.5 stars, actually, for this revealing memoir from educator Blythe Grossberg. This account, covering a period of about 20 years, details Harvard-educated Grossberg's experiences tutoring affluent teenagers from Manhattan. I Left My Homework turned out to be a pretty engaging read. Grossberg achieved her goal, which was to show the overall effects of affluence on teaching and learning. I was shocked to read how these children's everyday lives were so regimented and joyless. It was disheartening to read about the insecure and Ivy League-obsessed parents who pushed their kids beyond human limits, bullied private school teachers, hounded SAT and ACT officials, and hired endless lines of tutors. These so-called adults seemed sad and disconnected. In a funny scene, a parent-I-love-to-hate (Trevor's dad) quickly hands a check "with a lot of zeros at the end" to a Harvard University official after learning that his tired son, near the end of his senior year in high school, still couldn't make the grade. What a sad statement! One check had the power to erase all of Trevor's past 5-year efforts to succeed. Grossberg's casual, empathetic, and fact-based (without being too academic) style was effective. She made me feel sorry for these kids.
3.5 stars
3.5 stars
May 25, 2022
I usually find books through bookstagram, NetGalley, podcasts, etc. But I found this one the old fashioned way: I LEFT MY HOMEWORK IN THE HAMPTONS caught my eye in a local independent bookstore. I read a few pages of the hardcover — which coincidentally was published on my birthday when I defended my dissertation — and decided to buy it. I couldn’t put it down- everything about I LEFT MY HOMEWORK IN THE HAMPTONS worked for me. I have so much respect for the author Blythe Grossberg: captivating writing, real stories to tell, and above all sharp insights about them. I LEFT MY HOMEWORK IN THE HAMPTONS is narrative nonfiction about high school students from the wealthiest families. I learned in this book about professionalized children’s sports, expensive processes behind learning diagnoses, and the realities of rich people. Grossberg’s analysis is complex and nuanced, while engaging. proud to report that at Work this morning I talked this book up so much that a colleague bought it. finally, I loved the Gatsby analogy sprinkled through the narrative. I may not be a high school student or wealthy, but I wish Blythe Grossberg could teach me how to write!
September 28, 2021
Blythe Grossberg makes a living teaching in a prestigious private school and doing after school tutoring for the 0.01% in New York City. She goes into depth explaining the tremendous wealth and advantage of her students, and also the tremendous pressure they live under to perform. An A is not enough. The goal is to land a spot at one of the Ivy League schools so the kids are tutored in every subject and driven to sports practices before and after school to perform well enough to get that coveted national ranking. Subject matter taught is way above their developmental level.
Grossberg does a remarkable job explaining the educational and psychological aspects of her job. As a retired educator, I found the book engrossing and well written although it might not capture readers without this background. Still, parents might find it interesting and see it as a cautionary tale of having next to impossible standards, and helping each child develop their own talents. Available @Duncan Public Library.
Grossberg does a remarkable job explaining the educational and psychological aspects of her job. As a retired educator, I found the book engrossing and well written although it might not capture readers without this background. Still, parents might find it interesting and see it as a cautionary tale of having next to impossible standards, and helping each child develop their own talents. Available @Duncan Public Library.
October 10, 2021
A fascinating look at the lives of the children of New York Society's 1% and the high achieving culture that pushes teens to perform. Blythe Grossberg shares her personal insights tutoring these teens for over 15 years and observing the amount of pressure that gets placed on earning top marks, getting into prestigious colleges all at the expense of any leisure time (so many of these teens are overscheduled and overworked) and often resulting in severe mental health problems and/or alcohol and drug abuse.
Highly insightful and empathetic, I really enjoyed this insider look at a culture that is increasingly spreading to mainstream youth. I also appreciated the contrast between Blythe's more middle class lifestyle and absurd expectations many of the parents had for her role educating their children.
It was also nice to hear from a working mother of a child on the autism spectrum and how she learned early on that there is nothing to be gained from trying to compare or push your child against their peers. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my advance review copy.
Highly insightful and empathetic, I really enjoyed this insider look at a culture that is increasingly spreading to mainstream youth. I also appreciated the contrast between Blythe's more middle class lifestyle and absurd expectations many of the parents had for her role educating their children.
It was also nice to hear from a working mother of a child on the autism spectrum and how she learned early on that there is nothing to be gained from trying to compare or push your child against their peers. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my advance review copy.
October 31, 2021
It is, as other reviewers have indicated, rather scattershot in the delivery. It does give a glimpse into the lifestyles of the rich and famous and their children but I only needed to hear about the author's own personal impoverishment once or twice. The point was clear, the author tutored because she needed the money, it didn't need endless repetition. To her credit, she obviously cares about her students and is committed to the profession. It was an interesting diversion as there have been many accounts about teachers who have tried to overcome the challenges of working in districts where the socially and economically downtrodden reside. As someone who worked in education for thirty years, I do get a visceral reaction to the notion that tutoring is a default position for wealthy people whose kids aren't motivated to learn, and that the tutor whitewash the negligence. This strikes at the heart of the book, there is no magic bullet for curing indifference, whether rich or poor.
March 21, 2024
I listened to this book on audible. It was fast, and I binged it in two days. I definitely connected with this book and understood a lot of what it was saying. I find the author a little bitter and unkind to some of the people that she describes. (I try to think of the students and parents that I work with as all trying their best, and she doesn't necessarily have the same perspective.) However, I think that this book is necessary reading for anyone engaged with the private/independent school sector. I only gave it four stars because of her somewhat bittersweet take in general though she's pretty on point.
September 29, 2021
When I found this book on Libby, I thought it was a humorous rendition. It was not. It is a very serious book about the trials of tutoring overscheduled kids whose parents are pushing for the students to get into Ivy League colleges. Some parents don't even really pay attention to the student or what the tutor/school have to say about the student's issues.
Since I taught disadvantaged students some in the book infuriated me.
Since I taught disadvantaged students some in the book infuriated me.
September 1, 2023
What started with a fascinating premise was completely ruined by the most insufferable and self righteous narrator I have possibly ever encountered. This woman acts like she’s a poor little normie despite her suburban Massachusetts background, Harvard degree, and park slope zip code. Like please, I beg of you to get some context.
September 30, 2023
The author tutored the children of NYC's elite for 15 years. She showed us that while from the outside, it seems that these children have everything, they live lives full of stress and anxiety. The parents are often absent and uninvolved, or very much overinvolved. This memoir was interesting and an easy read.
October 4, 2021
Repetitive and boring. Poor little rich girl/boy stories. I thought this would be like Nanny Diaries but it couldn’t be more different.
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