Counselling in a Nutshell

by Windy Dryden

Counselling in a Nutshell provides a step-by-step guide to the counseling relationship and the therapeutic process. Focusing on the commonalities within the main theoretical approaches—psychodynamic, person-centred, and cognitive-behavioral—author Windy Dryden describes a framework which underpins all counseling, irrespective of the approach being used. Key features of the framework include bonds between counselor and client; goals and tasks of counseling; stages of the therapeutic process; and core therapeutic conditions.

136 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2006

About the author

Windy Dryden is one of the leading practitioners and trainers in the UK in the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) tradition of psychotherapy. He is best known for his work in Rational-Emotive Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (RECBT), a leading CBT approach. He has been working in the field of counselling and psychotherapy since 1975 and was one of the first people in Britain to be trained in CBT and has trained with Drs. Albert Ellis, Aaron T. Beck, and Arnold Lazarus.

He has published over 200 books and has trained therapists all over the world, in as diverse places as the UK, the USA, South Africa, Turkey, and Israel.

He is Emeritus Professor of Psychotherapeutic Studies at Goldsmiths, University of London.

Reviews

[Mahira]

🔮9/1/2023
It all started when I almost died and met God. The bell jar had been cracked open by forces that had been at work for a very long time. Forces unbeknownst to me. It was inevitable.

I remember this being our first recommended reading but I only read it in fragments back then so I had to revisit. Like I always do whenever I haven't experienced a thing fully. Overall, a very comprehensive roundup of the approaches. Being an eclectic/ integrative, this helps me keep my feet on the ground. I, who usually prefer to soar and glide uninhibited. The person-centered approach pulled me in from the get-go. Its smooth liberating stance on the human condition. Radical acceptance for all. Even for the pain and depravity and madness.

An unconscious competence. The quietude of going non-verbal. The subtle art of presence. Journeying into the past to resolve conflicts. Reconciling the past and the present. The heavens and Mother Earth. Accompanying the shadow in its descent to the underworld.

I am a bridge, a river guiding you home. Acceptance over delusion. Being true to yourself and giving up self-betrayal. Self-disclosure over being a pressurized tank, that either explodes (externalizer) or implodes (internalizer). Where an explosion marks the destruction of what you hold close to your heart and an implosion marks the destruction of the inner self. The soul, the psyche, the characters that live within. Your alchemical gold. All vanquished in time. You must never allow that to happen. And so you must seek the safe harbor and hold space for yourself so you can replenish your inner layer of safety.

Stillness doesn't come easy when your wounded inner animal is constantly scouting for danger, a perceived threat, an imagined one. I have discovered that many times boredom is really anxiety revolting against stillness. Not letting the mud settle. Never letting us see ourselves and ultimately making us lose sight of who we are.

The realization of how you have terribly wounded yourself to fit the role of the rescuer, the savior. The proof lies in my over-involvement, and my obsession with everything I touch, and everything I am touched by. The small wounded baby animal within me is tired. Weary of the emotional labor. I must tend to him before he turns emo screamo.

My Takeaways From Windy Dryden ⬇

My work will be intellectual in tone and creative in nature with the result that the seekers' emotions are peripherally engaged if they are engaged at all.

It is important to help seekers identify what may be called their vulnerability factors, that is, factors to which they are particularly vulnerable. I keep brief notes following each session that they are entitled to see if they wish. Most of them are so eager to see them. It's endearing to me.

In my first encounter with a seeker, I was so absorbed in the process that I ended up reading them like a book and it made them uncomfortable and fidgety. What really happened was that they were experiencing what it feels like to be 'seen' for the very first time in their life. After a few encounters, when they asked to see my notes (magic scribbles) they were spooked at how I had picked up on those things without them actually being disclosed.

Being 'seen' then becomes a trigger and incites fear. This is why so many people shrink away from being seen and in the process withdraw from all that the human experience has to offer.

Quotes From The Book

'Epictetus, a Roman philosopher, who said that ‘Men are disturbed not by things, but by their views of things. ’

‘People are disturbed not by things, but by their rigid and extreme views of things.’ Once they have disturbed themselves they then try to get rid of their disturbed feelings in ways that ultimately serve to maintain their problems.

'As Alfred Adler (1979) pointed out many years ago, all human endeavor has a purpose. So when my clients seek help from me each one has an idea about what they want to achieve from the meetings.'

'Your clients come to see you for a variety of reasons but what unites their purpose is that they are suffering in some way and come to you because they are hopeful that you may help them over their suffering.'

'Internal goals concern that which your clients have direct control over, which are broadly their own psychological processes – namely, their thoughts, feelings and behavior. External goals, on the other hand, concern that which your clients would like to have direct control over, but do not – namely, other people’s thoughts, feelings and behavior and the external environment. This is not to say that your clients cannot influence others and the external environment, but they exercise their influence through their own behavior, over which they do exercise a large measure of control. Consequently, when your clients reveal external goals, your task is to find a way of showing them why you cannot accept such goals for change and to help them to set internal goals for change.'

'Realistic goals are basically goals that are achievable, whereas unrealistic goals are basically unachievable. Unrealistic goals tend to be perfectionist and usually serve to maintain clients’ problems. An example of an unrealistic goal is when clients say that they no longer want to feel a disturbed emotion that they have been struggling with.'

'Your clients may be ambivalent about their goals but don’t express their ambivalence. They only state the goal, not the fact that they are in two minds about it. If you suspect that this is the case, it is useful to carry out a cost/benefit analysis with clients concerning their stated goals.'

'The important point to note here is that some clients have psychological problems, but want you to help them fulfill their potential. In truth, they will struggle helplessly and sometimes in vain to fulfill their potential until they have dealt effectively with their psychological problems.'

'As Anna Freud (1946) showed many years ago, clients erect a number of psychological defenses against change and skillful counselors across the approaches take clients’ defenses very much into account.'

'Once clients have achieved a measure of cognitive-experiential understanding they need to capitalize on this and make changes. Such changes can be behavioral and/or philosophical in nature.'

'In person-centered counseling, the view is that as the relationship deepens between counselor and client, the latter will engage in deep self-exploration and express the profound pain of what they have done in the past, or the unchanging adversities of the present.'

'Engaging in such deep processes facilitates self-acceptance and/or acceptance of what cannot be changed. In psycho-dynamic counseling the emphasis is more on helping clients gain a deeper understanding of the intra-psychic meaning of their past behavior or of the present unchanging adversity, to relate this to their conflicts and to interpret blocks to self- and life-acceptance.'

'A lapse is different from a relapse in the following respect. While a lapse is a significant, but temporary, falling back along the road to recovery, a relapse is a more fundamental and enduring return to the original problem state which prompted help-seeking in the first place.'

'Person-centered counselors deal with this issue as they deal with other issues. They convey respect for clients even though they have lapsed and strive to convey their understanding of their clients’ experience before, during, and after lapsing. In this way, their clients can look without shame or anxiety at what their experience was, so that they can learn from it.'

'At their most effective, clients not only achieve their goals but take away from the process a way of helping themselves in the future, one which is influenced by the approach in practice. Thus, clients in psychodynamic counseling learn to identify the conflicts that underpin their urges to act in dysfunctional ways, and to interpret the conflicts for themselves so that they can respond to the situations they face in the present, uncontaminated by past conflicts.'

[Chen Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

1. 这书讲了什么？

系统、简单的分解了一下Counselling的概念from a working alliance perspective。

2. 内容梗概？

Counsellor首先要有一颗想要真正帮助客户的克服困难和成长的心，不偏见不敷衍。其次要有足够专业素养和工作手段。最后要有比较好的自我认识，对自己的优点和缺点有比较好的理解。

Client也要有颗想改变的心，有能够改变的能力，和掌握改变的技能。

然后，建立关系。

Counselling的过程要negotiating goals and carrying out tasks。首先达成一致的认识、其次确定目标、最后执行任务。

3. 有意思的观点？

确立正确的目标很重要。一个正确目标的指标是这个目标是我能够掌握的（Internal），还是我不能够掌握的（External）。比如我的目标是想要我老公不要再这么懒了。这个目标的主体是老公不那么懒，但是我并不能改变我老公的行为，我只能改变我自己的行为看看我老公改不改。另一个指标是Realistic。再也不难过了是不可能的，只能学会怎么去适应难过。员工迟到我再也不想生气了是negative的，但是员工迟到了我可以有效的表达我的生气比较positive。（这里应该有个theory吧，我们到底可以控制情绪吗？应该说我们是不能拒绝情绪的存在的，它存在就存在了，只能去面对和管理它）

能力和技能的分别。有能力没技能可以教、没能力就比较难了。

学习的目标是要从conscious incompetence to conscious competence to unconscious competence。

改变。认知的改变还不够引起变化，不只是认知、要结合认知和情感，以及符合认知情感的行为来推动改变。

[Robert Karami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good and useful book for counsellors in training.

[Shriya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this ebook for an assignment during module one of counselling skills course. Easy to read, great insight into theories.

I did not read cover to cover, only the chapters needed.