Wired For Joy: A Revolutionary Method for Creating Happiness from Within

by Laurel Mellin

Can you imagine a world where drug companies throw bake sales to make ends meet? A world without all the jaw clenching, nail biting, and stress-induced melt downs? Eighty percent of health problems today are due to the downstream effects of stress, so learning to break free from stress could dramatically improve your mood, your relationships, your health––and your life. In Wired for Joy, researcher and New York Times– bestselling author Laurel Mellin presents a simple yet proven way to train your brain to move through stress and back to joy. Her method has been called the missing link in health care, as it focuses on rewiring the emotional brain—the caldron of our stress—rather than the thinking brain, which has been the focus of most other stress-busting methods. Based on the cutting-edge science of neuroplasticity, Mellin outlines the five states of the emotional brain. For each state she presents a specific tool that easily and quickly switches the brain back to a state of well-being. Once you know how to make that switch, life becomes easier, and stress symptoms—depression, anxiety, overeating, high blood pressure—tend to fade. Finally, instead of focusing on the symptoms of stress, we can change the wiring that triggers it and experience new sense of freedom in our lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Health, Neuroscience

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Laurel Mellin is a New York Times Bestselling Author, founder of Emotional Brain Training and Associate Clinical Professor, School of Medicine, University of California, San Francisco. She is a health psychologist and researcher whose work has been featured in top media outlets, Today, Good Morning America, Oprah, and in Newsweek, the Wall Street Journal, and whose work was named one of the Top 10 Medical Advances of the Year by Health magazine. She lives in Marin County, California.

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I totally buy in to the Emotional Brain Training method described in this book (it's a neuroscience-based method of stress reduction), the book is exceedingly poorly written. It's full not only of typos, but also misuse of punctuation and just generally awkward writing style. You can probably learn enough about the method online and from user testimonials without having to read the book. Maybe her first book is better. Meh.

[HKFuie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laurel Mellin changed my life. More accurately, she taught me to change my own life. Not in the large scale ways like a better house/more money/even losing weight. By using her method I changed my life in the small ways that affect each moment. I no longer live with anxiety. I now listen to people talk about their fears and I remember how much I was frozen by mine. I was afraid of people, afraid of life. Like so many people, I can tell you the story of my early abandonment and how that froze me in time emotionally. I was a child on the inside. I was so immature. I did not know how to take care of myself. Through using her method I've become the person people look to for advice and leadership. I just had a friend tell me, someone I admire, that when she's unsure of her take on a situation she checks in with me to see if her thinking is straight. That, to me, is a huge compliment. I've tried to tell her the story of how my life has changed, but I don't know if someone who came from a nurturing home can understand what life is like for someone who spent the first 25 years of her life trying desperately to please someone so they would finally make her feel OK. I'm sad I had that experience, but as a different friend recently told me, after I told him the story of how I completely forgave my mom, maybe I learned compassion from that. I do know I gained gifts from my difficult beginning. But I gained them by what I learned using Laurel Mellin's method. I think her technique is the best kept secret around. I'm so grateful because it fast forwarded my personal growth exponentially. Without it, I'm sure I'd still be repeating the same narcissistic patterns I learned early in life.

Wired for Joy is not my favorite of Laurel Mellin's books. I prefer The Solution and The Pathway, but these books aren't the method. They're only introductions to the method. If, like I was, you had a very difficult beginning and want to heal big early hurts her program, Emotional Brain Training, will make all the difference.

[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I typically really get into the "woo woo spirituality" type books, this one just didn't connect with me at all. I gave it 100 pages and bailed. There were lots of typos, the fake journey of "George" was just irritating, and while some of the science behind EBT makes sense this book was just annoying and I couldn't get through it.

[Julie]

Yet another self-help book that could have been half the length. This one is about “emotional brain training,” i.e. how to train your emotional brain to be more consistently in a “joy” state. A lot of the book feels like pure hype and upselling (“join our online community! buy these tools!”), and I really didn’t like the framing device of the pharmaceutical CEO learning the method. (He was put out of work because no one needs pharmaceuticals anymore now that they’re all doing EBT, you see. Eyeroll.) I also didn’t like that while there’s a bibliography, there weren’t any footnotes for some of the grander claims, like that 80% of the world’s health problems are caused by chronic stress. I’m not saying that stress doesn’t have negative effects – obviously it does – but 80%? Source, please? In any case, the crux of the book is that the brain has five “states,” from feeling great (1) to fight-or-flight (5). The core of EBT is to identify which state you’re in at any given moment and then use one of the five associated tools (one for each state) to help flip you to 1, with a goal of eventually moving your set point to a less-stressed position. Really, the only part of the book you need to read are the descriptions of the five types and the five tools. Once you know them, the pocket guide fits on an index card. I plan to test the tools a bit to see if they’re helpful, but I’m not joining the online community. There’s only so much “scientifically backed” woo-woo I can take in a day.

[Bernadette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of this book is bad. Sure stress causes bad health, but does this mean all health problems can be overcome with our own management of emotions and stress? no. I hate books that draw that conclusion, it often feels like the Prosperity Gospel. God loves you if you are rich, God loves you if you are well, its your fault if your sick and a sinner and poor. Anyway.

Barring that crap - the root of this book is a thought out system for dealing with emotional overwhelm/dysregulation. Which is great. There are about 15 pages of very good important information in this book that has the capacity to stop an emotional downward spiral, and help you get back to a regulated baseline. thinking about emotional regulation in 5 distinct levels, with 5 distinct ways of dealing with it - is very very good. there is even an app called spiral up lite and in a moment of emotional disregulation, can help get your mind right.

I have long ago decided Joy is a choice - but helping myself self regulate around the worlds disregulation - with a system to help achieve it - very good.

unfortunately this book is filled with way too much louise hay crap to make me want to recommend it. The science is sound here - stick to the science. leave the woo behind.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me insight to how my emotions affect me and my interactions with the world around me. I have taken the basic premise of the book which is being aware of the level I am at. The tools help to change the way you think and give you more than just a healthy thought. The story of the family in the book helps you relate the tools to everyday situations.
Giving people these tools gives them the chance to recognise that the brain is a sensitive organ that controls our whole body system.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

After deciding I wanted to make some changes in my life, I picked this book up at Barnes & Noble. I did not know anything about Emotional Brain Training (or EBT), or the author (Laurel Mellin), however, I picked up some useful tips on remaining calm in strenuous situations.

[Jesse Weinberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just starting Wired for Joy by NYT Bestselling author: Laurel Mellin.

Fascinating book about choosing happiness and how to re-wire yourself to accept and expect happiness. The study on mirror neurons are just amazing.

If you're looking for some happy - start here!

[Paul Stazel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent for someone who has some knowledge of the nature of our emotional and behavioral selves. Wired for Joy has given me new found freedom in my everyday activities and opened my mind up to more abstract and creative thinking.

[Miguel · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://silenciosquefalam.blogspot.pt/...

[Nadia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to learn how stress is perceived in the brain and hardwired. Simple tools to rewire the brain from stress back to JOY!

[Angel Leya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a huge fan of nonfiction, in general, but this was engaging enough to help me through it, and provided some really interesting information as far as how the brain works and how to get it to move toward a better state of mind. Gives one hope that maybe depression doesn't have to be a default situation, and that there are was to retrain and rewire our brains to really live.

[Fyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first paragraph of the book didn't age well 😆
It covers basic science, without the deep scientific discussion, of the parts of the brain, emotions, and stress.
A LOT of filler in the first 6 chapters, with only 2 chapters discussing the actual tools.
It has some really great tools, but the "fictional but based on real examples" character stories are a little too fluffy for me.

[Sherice Colvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s helpful to process emotional states and see what you can and cannot control and creating reasonable expectations and power thoughts

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

“The stress response ends up being recruited chronically, and can even cannibalize the joy response, as the brain cannot be in a state of joy and stress at the same time. One of the two swamps the other. This is why the relentless pursuit of natural joy may be the most effective defense against stress. (p.3)

“Joy is spiritual and far grittier than happiness, and far more robust.” (p.7)

“Often people go to great lengths to avoid feeling their emotions because it scares them…The truth is that if you don’t have the skills to process emotions, then they are dangerous” (p.10)

“In the world of brain chemistry, ‘different’ translates to ‘bad,’ as the brain prefers everything to stay the same.” (p.15)

“When the reptilian brain is aroused, it tends to err on the side of negativity, perpetually overestimating threats. It always bets on the worse-case scenario, a trait that is perfectly designed to keep your hunter-gatherer ancestors alive but isn’t very helpful today.” (p.22)

“If you do not rewire your own unconscious memory system for secure attachment, chances are that your children will copy your own form of insecure attachment or follow another one that is equally insecure.” (p.27)

“You might say that you are naturally built to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is woven into your psyche, because without that capacity to share resources during times of need, the species would not have survived.” (p.31)

“The focus on thinking rather than emotions is a major reason that so many highly intelligent, highly educated people have so many stress symptoms: they learned early in life to get their moment-to-moment security –safety, nurturance, love- from thinking and doing, rather than from their emotional connection to themselves.” (p.59)

“If you get close enough to the gritty dark side of life, the light side sweeps you off your feet and shows you the way to nirvana.” (p.67)

“Sometimes you stay in stress because you don’t know how to get out or the situation is just plain stressful, and other times because it’s delicious in its own way, as it is familiar.” (p.111)
“Although compassion influences behaviour, it does not dictate it, making it safe to feel compassion, because you have limits!” (p.155)

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great ideas, poor execution

Laurel Mellin really takes a roundabout way to get to the core ideas in her book: many mood disorders stem from being out of touch with your own emotions and stress levels, and you can learn habits of experiencing your feelings and responding to them healthily. My recommendation is to skim the book and mark the passages that explain brain States and tools, and only take the time to read her roundabout examples when she struggles to express her theories.

[Rafael Alves · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is very well written, with both theorethical and a case study parts to go along with.
The model used is a mix of a neurobiological-cognitivist approach to stress, meaning it links the brain functioning with active mental tools you can use to master your own biology.
She is able to make a self aware technique directly linked to the three brain theory, something i wouldn't think of.

Categorizes stress in 5 levels, up from The Jolly Green Giant to The Hulk, and to each level there is a specific technique for you to move up to a higher stress-free level or simply to prepare you to embrace a higher level.

Mentions a technique to use in the worst case scenario - when your survival mechanism to stress gets latched long and hard on a nitty gritty stress reducing habbit - unhealthy eating, raging, and all the ones you can think of.

Everything in this book can be used in a partnership mindframe, so there's basically no way that this material can go wrong if you only pitch in a little of your dedication and time.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book five stars, not because it's brilliantly written, but because of the tremendous impact it has made on my life so far. I have been trying to follow the methods in the book, and I think they have really improved my overall mood and my relationships with others. This book is really different from other approaches because not only are you instructed to uncover your true feelings, but you also learn how to make proactive, positive changes in your life. I felt very empowered after reading this book. I would encourage readers to follow up on the book's instructions by going to www.ebt.org.

[Jane Glen · Rating 4 out of 5]

At last- this is one of those books you read in small chunks and try to absorb a little at a time. Excellent for anyone, but for those of us that tend to move towards high stress easily, it provides tools to reclaim one's joy (not to be confused with happiness). This fits exceedingly well with the self-regulation therapy that I underwent for anxiety. It also has an on-line tool to guide you, so it helps to remember the needed steps.

[S R]

So many of these types of books describe methods for happiness...They are all a positive way to get "back on track", but there is "nothing new under the sun".... Each book is just worded in a different manner.... But, it is a good reminder that we are responsible for creating our own happiness by changing our thinking and therefore changing pathways in the brain for reacting certain ways.

[Kate Baar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This method changed my life. I wish it were taught in schools. I recently reread this as a refresher and, ten years later, am still learning from it. But the book itself doesn't do justice to the method. I recommend finding a counselor trained in it and using this book was back up.

[Michelle Beese]

Great!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book and concept but the writing and organization of the book fell short for me.

[Kjcrane · Rating 3 out of 5]

EBT makes sense. If you are interested I would recommend going online, also.

[R. J · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has a great method that helps change my way of thinking about things.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This method helped me rebuild those mental connections that can ruin you. Powerful!

[Johanna DeBiase · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting ideas. Solid techniques. Skimmed most of it to skip to good part. Could be 10 pages long instead.