Praying Our Goodbyes

by Joyce Rupp

Here is a book designed to help readers recognize, ritualize, reflect on and re-orient themselves in the face of loss--to help heal the hurts caused by goodbyes and the anxieties encountered by change, whether caused by death, loss of a job, crisis, or whatever.

Genres: Spirituality, Prayer, Nonfiction, Faith, Self Help, Religion, Grief

183 pages, Paperback

First published October 23, 2012

About the author

Joyce Rupp is well known for her work as a writer, a spiritual "midwife," and retreat and conference speaker. She has led retreats throughout North America, as well as in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia and New Zealand. Joyce has a B.A. in English, a M.R.E. in Religious Education, and a M.A. in Transpersonal Psychology. She is a member of the Servites (Servants of Mary) community and was a volunteer for Hospice for fifteen years. She currently resides in Des Moines, Iowa. A list of Joyce's works can be found in the left column of this page. Click on the book title to find out more information about that title.

Reviews

[Debbie Hoskins · Rating 4 out of 5]

When my husband died, my friend who gave me the Bernard Waber children's book, Courage, also gave me this book she had read when her Mother died. I started reading it. It is good, but I have other books I want to read first. It's by my bed, I'll get to it.
This is a lovely book, well-written, and wise. The prayers with creative and kinetic experiences are thoughtful. I was reading the revealing prayer to me of retirement in _To Bless the Space Between Us_ & am writing that Joyce Rupp's are very reminiscent of John O'Donohue's.
I was only going to give it 3 stars because it took me a long time to finish. But as I power through the meaningful and beautiful prayers full of healing to finish this book. I have decided, because I gave To Bless the Space Between Us 5 stars, to give this book - 4.

[Mary Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Prayer helps train the mind and heart to meet life's challenges and understand our inner responses. Since my husband was diagnosed with a very aggressive stage IV cancer in September, 2012, this has helped me reflect on the important things in life and learn more about how to let go when there is no other choice.

[Lynda · Rating 4 out of 5]

P. 92 "This book is about goodbyes and how they happen in our lives and about what happens to us because of them. It is also about hellos."
I highly recommend this book. It is a very good book on transitions, whether it is a death of a loved one or a child going to college. It applies to all the transitions we may experience. There has to be a goodbye before we are ready to 'hello' to a new beginning.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a Christian book that has a very interesting take on grief and loss. It refers to grief and loss as “goodbyes”. Goodbyes are always not physical deaths. It’s a death of a concept sometimes a diagnosis of a non terminal illness that changes your life, sometimes wanting children starting menopause, desiring a certain place in a career path and realizing you’re not going to get it. The ending of a friendship or a relationship.

Goodbyes are not always sadness. There’s lots of goodbyes, There’s not always a ceremony for those device, but you still have to grieve.

What I like about the Christian aspect is she combat many Christian beliefs/myths. Your pain and suffering because God wants to make you a better Christian, or as punishment from a previous sin, or you’re going through this to help other people etc. She actually provides biblical references of how that is not theologically correct.

I would give this book a five star, but if you are not Christian this will not be an insightful or a therapeutic book for you. I mean not Christian, the person who told me about it said I just need to believe in a higher power. Not so true with this book, you have to be a Christian she quote a lot from the New Testament and it’s about prayer.

The other thing I like about this book is at the end of each chapter she ask a few questions that really causes you to think. I’m still struggling with the question which goodbye did I learn the most from.

[Marjorie Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

She gives you suggested "ceremonies". I picked one I thought was appropriate as I was getting divorced. I did it every day in the month before he finally moved out. Helped me focus on the good stuff and understand (and be reminded) what I was letting go.

[Sara floerke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this as my Dad was dying. Some beautiful poetry. Some beautiful thoughts. Great book to help you slow down in the middle of months of grief. It feels like it help me process more fully and effectively.

[Chavaleh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous, gorgeous book.
Will use for a Lenten book study, I think, for people experiencing grief or transition.
Marvelous prayer resources at the end and good reflection questions following each chapter.

[Ron Bernas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Joyce Rupp is some sort of distant relative of my wife. This is actually the second book I've read by her. Both are important reminders that life is fleeting, that everything is just on loan from God (or the universe, if you're not a believer), so we should enjoy what we have while we have it.

[LuAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and inspiring as Joyce Rupp always is. One major take-away is how ritualizing grief and letting go can help in processes losses.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A theological, reflective, practical approach to healthy transitions.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for those times of change and transition!

[Deb Stucky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wisdom , practical heart felt advice.

[Jennifer Horton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too religous-ey but... it helped when I needed to work on saying goodbye to people and things long-gone.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate and use all her books!

[Lady Marielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a medicine kit for a grieving soul, not just for when a loved one parts, but also for various stages of separation. It helps bring to light a perspective of the other side of goodbyes, so we can say our hellos to new stages, on and on in this homeward journey. More importantly, it does not undermine the past to be let go, but a reminder that in those difficult times, even when it seems impossible, we can sigh out our cries to Jesus. We are never alone in this.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should have a copy of this at home. I've given it as a gift numerous times. Joyce Rupp helps define the internal journey we experience during times of grief in the firt half of the book. Her style is unique and gives fresh insights. Grief is not only experienced in death, but in so many dimensions of life - the letting go of any relationship involves grieving something lost. The second portion of the book offers suggestions for personal prayer experiences for a broad variety of experiences in letting go - for ending a relationship, to the loss of a job, for moving on, for one weary from walking with others through their difficult times.

[Patti Clement · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book that I have used personally and have recommended to others when grieving. Recognizing that grief is not just about losing a loved one, the author does an excellent job engaging the reader in how to let go of anything we are called to surrender. Highly recommend to anyone because we all grieve at one time or another and sometimes don't realize our need to grieve.

[Drshar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Does it get easier as you grow older? One would think conditioning to loss overtime would ease the pain, as Woody Allen said, "the heart is a resilient muscle" and we would just move on. Rupp shows the path of prayer - a covering mist to protect your vision each time to back and to slow your steps as you move forward.

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written. Sister Joyce speaks straight to your heart. She knows loss and the "spirituality of change". And yes, hellos after goodbyes. You can feel Sister Joyce's words. This book will remain with me and I know I'll be back to it often.

[Brian White · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my all-time favorite books and I have turned to it time and time again during times of loss and transition (like now). I have loaned my copy to many people and highly recommend this book to those who are experiencing any of life's losses.

[Tammy Schott · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is possible to be healed from life's farewells. It is more about dealing with different losses not necessarily death of a loved one, but other situations were it is necessary to pray your goodbye, not just say goodbye.

[Kelli Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the prayers for those experiencing goodness of any type . The author includes a symbol to visualize , bible verses snd a sample prayer. Joyce Rupp provides practical spiritual guidance that offers comfort, healing and perspective for everyday life.

[Marla · Rating 5 out of 5]

from job losses to death, a ritual to help readers work through letting go and moving on. i've lived this book.

[Michelle Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

just bought from eighth day!

[Jinny · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book of prayers and thoughts as many kinds of life changes and transitions happen. Highly recommended.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exceptional and just what I needed to read. It's been more of a "reference" but Rupp speaks in a language that touches the heart.

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Also reading for school. Really like her approach to dealing with loss and death.

[Linda Halvorsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful!

[Susan Sevier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book may have saved my life. It came to me in a time of deep personal grief. To read my complete review, check out my blog: https://readingfaith.org/praying-our-...

[Cathy Crouch · Rating 5 out of 5]

So simply yet elegantly written