When Helping You Is Hurting Me: Escaping the Messiah Trap

by Carmen Renee Berry

Do you find yourself trapped in a relationship where you do all the giving and the other person does all the taking? If, so you have fallen into the Messiah Trap. This book is your ticket out.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Relationships, Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Carmen Renee Berry, New York Times Bestselling Author, is the creator of the PROLIFIC AUTHOR WRITING SYSTEM. She has authored, co-authored and ghost written 26 books in the past 27 years. Now, as a book writing coach, she teaches authors how to quickly write top-quality books that transform the lives of their readers. With over 30 years in publishing and book promotion, she has appeared on hundreds of television and radio programs including Oprah, Montel, the Gail King Show and Sally Jesse Raphael, and appeared on newscasts on CNN, NBC, CBS, and ABC. Her story has been featured in People Magazine, USA Today, Newsweek and countless newspapers across the country. If you are interested in writing a transformational self-help book or memoir, please contact her at www.carmenreneeberry@gmail.com.

Reviews

[Arlian · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

The thing with this book is I didn't really feel like there was much new information. Well, not new to me anyway. At some point in time when you've read as many self help books as I have, they start to seem the same. This one especially! About 3/4 of this book is actually about validating your perceptions of having a "messiah" complex. There are lots and lots of stories of other people who have gone through the "exact same thing" you have.

Unfortunately, these experiences aren't recounted because they provide you with the opportunity to learn from others mistakes, but instead to validate that you aren't alone in having these issues. That's all well and good, but like I said: at some point in time, you KNOW what issues you have. I don't need any convincing or 'support' ABOUT my issues, I just need help strategizing ways to work around them. This book book fails in that regard.

Summary: If you are new to self help or new to recognizing your issues and you want a gentle book, this is for you. If you've already put any work in at all, I say pass this one up.

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very helpful book...this was recommended by a friend as she heard me expressing my disappointment in a very one-sided friendship I have. I started reading it thinking I would learn how to fix the relationship but I finished it learning much more than that.

This book allowed me to analyze many of my relationships and recognize that I have a few that are not healthy - for me or the other person. It's time to explore deeper and learn to listen to God's promptings and my inner self.

The book alone does not attempt to solve things for the reader but will very helpfully open the door for contemplation...a critical first step.

[Dora López · Rating 5 out of 5]

Es un libro sencillo, con historias y ejemplos reales que nos describen los diferentes tipos de "salvadores" que existen. Ayudar al prójimo siempre parece positivo y este libro nos plantea lo contrario; ayudar puede perjudicar al que recibe la ayuda menguando su desarrollo personal, disminuyendo su autoestima al subestimarlo entre otras cosas. " El salvador" a su vez se desconecta de si mismo y su vida, perdiendo la intimidad y el goce de su tiempo libre ( no lo tiene porque está ocupado salvando al mundo) Recomendado para todos. Absolutamente todo aquel que desee hacer consciencia de que lo que más importa en la vida es él mismo, su mundo interior, amar y ser libre para estar con sus seres queridos, recomendado también para personas que trabajen al servicio de otros. Psicólogos, coaches, profesores, doctores, etc.

[Verity Caron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to recommend this to all my friends at the same time I warn them away form it. It was very hard hitting how much I identified with. I am still working on getting out of the trap. I wish there was more on how exactly to do that... I guess that's the next book I was given to read.

[Macee Nielsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

such a good self help book!! it is a must read for people pleasers

[Matthew Gaines · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book didn’t know that I needed.

[Seth Conrad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felt called out in so many ways, and it was deeply enlightening

[Antonia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really helpful and insightful quick read! The great thing about books like this is you can take what you relate to and leave what you don’t.
One quote was a helpful reminder for me and my work, “if your goal is to save the world, your job is never done. You are set up for endless work.”

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comes with a workbook

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent and thought provoking.