To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother

by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire, a syndicated writer and popular speaker, helps women to grow and thrive in the midst of their hectic lives, even if their circumstances never change.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Relationships, Self Help, Theology, Parenting

215 pages, Paperback

First published June 10, 2003

About the author

Sheila Wray Gregoire is an award-winning author of 9 books, including the ground-breaking Great Sex Rescue, and founder of BareMarriage.com. She's passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex to something that is mutual, initimate, and pleasurable for both. She heads up a team of researchers who want to bring evidence-based, healthy advice to evangelicalism when it comes to relationships. Sheila lives in Belleville, Ontario, with her husband Keith. They are the parents of two adult daughters.

Reviews

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book about 11 years earlier when the first version came out. With only one child still at home, I still enjoyed it and found some valuable nuggets.

"If all of our families become places where Christian love is evident, and where we spur each other on to love and good works, instead of places were we try to live up to an impossible ideal, then the church will have found its powerful weapon in the transforming our culture."

I loved this quote on so many levels. First of all, our getting the children to carry some of the responsibility of the home spurs them on to love and to good works. It is an important part of their growth. And then this is such a powerful statement of the supreme value of the home and why the enemy wants to destroy it. I truly believe that God wants to use our homes to transform culture.

What I loved also about this book was that it opened my eyes to how much my really husband does and how much he cares for our home and children. I think too often women only see what we do and don't notice what others do. That is often my own blindness. Glad for the blinders to come off!
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[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get ready to be blessed, and bless your family

I love Sheila's heart to equip every woman with the tools to effectively run their household, be their for their children, and communicate with their husbands. She give examples to emulate and examples to avoid, and helps us adjust our perspective so we value what truly matters (but she still recognizes the mundane as important!) An important work that is unusually well balanced. This is a book I'm sure I will read again and again as a reminder over the course of my life. Highly recommend.

[Frieda Suess · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are struggling with a lack of desire to continue on, if you are content to be where you are, or if you are very happy with your relationship with your husband, no matter where you are in your marriage, this is a book for you! While reading this, there were times when I thought, "This is sooo true! She knows exactly how I'm feeling about the lack of help around the house!" There were other times I thought, "You know, I already do that for my husband! I get a big pat on the back for that one!" And then there were times I thought, "Wait! I used to do that. Why did I stop? I think I'll start again." THEN, there were times I thought, "Wow... I guess it's really me that needs to change............" (many extra dots on purpose)
Excellently written, easy to get through, and room in the margins for thoughts and ideas. Read it. Do it. You'll find you like your husband more, and that sometimes doing those little things make all the difference in the world!

[Tonya · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this was kind of funny at first and had really great advice on communicating, it ended up being a lot of stories about women who married jerks and kids who needed to be spanked. Hard.

[Becca Conner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really good. It laid out multiple issues, how to respond to them differently, and practical tips for problem solving.

Like every book, some things I didn’t see perfectly eye to eye on, but overall, I really enjoyed it and found it encouraging. Would highly recommend to the woman who is overwhelmed and feeling stuck.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really challenged me to have a plan, be efficient, and make small sacrifices that bless others in a huge way. I enjoyed the author's wit and drawing on her life experiences.

[Aniqua · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty good book. Gives you a better way to look at marriage and servitude.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some great advice. I wouldn't tell anyone not to read it. This book was written early in Gregoire's career as a marriage blogger and I have a hunch she would change a few things, if she released a second edition.

Overall, not a bad read. There are a few suggestions that come across as parenting your husband. Please don't do that. Most of it is good advice, though.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a few minor disagreements with her theologically, but I found this book to be fairly entertaining and inspirational in a practical way. Her ideas for cleaning in less time and focusing on what's important were very welcome.

[Janyre Tromp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good perspective to change how you view being a mom and wife and great, practical ideas about how to make it easier.

[Erin Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of practical advice mixed in with great wisdom and spiritual guidance. I love her blog too.

[Dorena · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book to guide your household, marriage and kids towards a Christ atmosphere/way of life. It’s a book that you will keep on the shelf for coming back to reference.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an answer to my prayers. So much practical advice and support for women trying to do things God's way! I would highly recommend this for EVERY woman out there with a husband and children.