Edit: I read the 2009 print of Insidious published by iUniverse. Apparently this was an earlier (self-published?) version and not the final edit. The author actually sent me a message asking which print I read and explaining that to me. He was very nice and courteous about it. I'm sure some of the issues that I had with the prose were addressed with the final edited version. I'm leaving my original review intact, but keep in mind as you read that this was not the final edit, and I did not know that when I wrote the review. If I had read the final edit I probably would have given it 3 stars. I suppose a drawback to indie or self-publishing is there end up being multiple versions floating around. I definitely recommend getting as new a copy as possible. My original review follows:
I love sci fi and there was a lot about Insidious that I like, but throughout most of the text the book's strengths were overshadowed by a few major impediments.
I recommend this book to fans of hard sci fi or political / corporate / espionage thrillers. The tech / futuristic / world-building aspect, and the interesting plot, were the biggest strengths. If those aspects aren't enough to grab you, the text is problematic enough that you may not enjoy it.
The concept was intriguing. The plot was developed in detail and alternated well between lulls and moments of excitement; overall it was enjoyably paced. The fictional world was developed in enough detail and cohesive enough to be plausible.
However, the prose was poor. I understand that this is hard sci fi--supposed to be cerebrally interesting because of the technology and concept, not necessarily poetic. The straightforward descriptions were more than just dry--sometimes there was more description than necessary, and sometimes it was unclear what was going on. The wording and sentence structure was often awkward. Parts in the narration seemed to have been cut and pasted without seamless integration. I noticed grammatical errors, typos, comma splices, and comma ommisions throughout the book--not enough to make me put it down but enough to be jarring and make me re-read a sentence and take me out of the story. Everyone makes typos--this is not necessarily a flaw on the author's part but possibly a product of poor or rushed editing. Based on the editor's biography I see that writing is not his primary occupation, so I understand limited budget/time for something like editing. The prose was also inconsistent--in the middle of technical descriptions there were analogies or modern-day idioms that were out of place in this future millions of miles in space.
The other major problem I had with this book is the characterization. It was all pretty shallow. Not cliche necessarily--the characters were unique and their issues their own. I give the writer kudos for coming up with the ideas in the first place, but he brought up enough interesting character traits, flaws, habits, etc. for me to want to know far more about them, but they were barely touched upon. The dialogue felt like it existed to move the plot along and didn't always sound like how real people talk, which unfortunately made the realism jarring when a character would crack a joke or have a sarcastic inner thought. Also, the perspective throughout the book was disappointingly heterosexual-male-centric (I am a heterosexual male writing this). Women were primarily described by their physical appearance and attractiveness, men by their actions/motives/etc. In a story told from the perspective of a heterosexual male, this is expected, but this was third person limited omniscient, and even in the female headspace, it was quite obvious the author was male. The main female character was a sort of covert operative who used her looks and sex appeal to her advantage, so obviously her appearance played an important role. Beyond that, however, I found the females in the book less developed and believable than the males, and more stereotypical.
Other little things bothered me. Events happened off-camera, including characters making discoveries, but it was not explained why these events happened or how these characters made these discoveries. Character relations that were minor plot threads ended abruptly and were never resolved by the end of the book. There were events that affected multiple people yet it was only revealed what happened to one of the people afterward. I got sick of repeated words for all the scale- and size-related superlatives--how *extraordinarily, astronomically* difficult it was to get resources into deep space, all the *large* and *giant* architecture and areas. It felt like the author was trying to hammer in ideas and couldn't figure out how to do it other than repetition. Every time a corporation's headquarters or space station was described, everything was described as *big*. A specific character popped up twice in the book, and both times the protagonists interacting with him had a strong negative emotional reaction. This character's motivations were not explained, nor was the reason for the protagonists' reactions.
Insidious is the first of a trilogy that tells the same story from three different perspectives. Perhaps the loose plot threads are explained in the other two books. However, I did not know this when I read it, because it was not indicated on the back cover, in the beginning before the title page, or at all. It just felt like a story with a lot of loose ends. This may be a product of indie publishing--the author perhaps did not know when he first published it if he would be able to write or release the rest.
The story is intriguing, and the world is well-developed and consistent with itself. McCloskey obviously thought it through a lot. The plot gets really gripping about halfway through. But loose ends, plain prose, and underdeveloped characters get in the way of really enjoying and getting lost in the story.