Crazy Loco Love: A Memoir

by Victor Villaseñor

Growing up on his parents’ ranch in North San Diego County, Victor Villaseñor’s teenage years were marked by a painful quest to find a place for himself in a world he did not fit into. Discriminated due to his Mexican heritage, Victor questions the tenets of his faith and the restrictions it places on his own spirituality and sexuality. Ultimately, his search for identity takes him to Mexico to learn of his family’s roots, where he soon discovers that his heritage doesn’t determine his intelligence or success. Through this often humorous and poignant tale, Victor deftly undermines the macho stereotype so often associated with Latinos, while exposing the tender vulnerability and naïveté of a young man grappling with the roles foisted on him by the church and society. Victor’s youthful misadventures elicit sympathy, laughter, and tears as he attempts to divine the mysteries of the opposite sex in this powerful, revealing memoir. “The clarity that comes from Villaseñor’s personal and cultural experience is not matched in any of Steinbeck’s major works” ( Los Angeles Times ).

Genres: Memoir, Biography, Nonfiction

416 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2006

About the author

Victor Villaseñor is an acclaimed Mexican-American writer, best known for the New York Times bestseller novel Rain of Gold. Villaseñor's works are often taught in American schools. He went on to write Thirteen Senses: A Memoir (2001), a continuation of Rain of Gold. His book Burro Genius: A Memoir (2004) describes his life. The author has received awards and endorsements, including an appointment to serve as the founding Steinbeck Chair at Hartnell College and the National Steinbeck Center in Salinas, from February 2003 to March 2004.

Reviews

[Susan (aka Just My Op) · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 out of 5 stars. Victor Villasenor really likes exclamation points!!! And CAPITALIZATION!

I expected to like this memoir of a Mexican boy growing up in Southern California, feeling out of place, trying to find how he fits in the world. When it started off, I didn't care for the writing style, but thought that the story could overcome it. After about 100 pages, I gave up and skimmed through the rest of the book. I probably would have quit completely if I hadn't been given the book by the publisher.

Mr. Villasenor seems like a nice person and I really hate giving any negative reviews, but especially to people I think I would like if I met in person. Let me also say that I realize I am in the minority – quite a few people have loved this book. Still, I just didn't care for it.

The first part of the story sounded too preachy to me, the author's father explaining what it takes to be a man. And then Victor discovered girls. I read much more than I wanted to about his penis, his randiness, his constant angst. I wasn't crazy about the writing of castrations and slaughter either. But what really bothered me is that the author seemed to vacillate between excusing his behavior because he thought he was just a “stupid Mexican” (his words, not mine) and blaming everyone else for his behavior because they thought he was just a “stupid Mexican.” His behavior wasn't all that out of the ordinary for a teenager, it occasionally seemed to be much ado about nothing. The language and explicitness was a little rough for me, but the major problem is that I just didn't find the book to be an interesting read, and I was disappointed in it.

[Aysha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book is like chewing wasabi. It's hot, powerful, and cleans out your sinuses. I love wasabi. I love this book. Read it if you can take it!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book starts out with several quotes. I'll give you one since they were all saying the same thing in a different way:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." — Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles)

This is a coming of age book. It showcases how Victor Villaseñor discovered his philosophy for life. For living. It starts with a child emerging from a black and white world in terms of sexuality into the confusing pallet of an adolescent. It is very straightforward and honest in this respect and I imagine some people having a hard time with it. However, if you see it as a rite of passage and a beginning into thinking for himself, you understand why he was so honest. It is one way we are wakened up to the world and he is very honest about it's confusion.

As the book goes on we also see how prejudice can influence your self-image. Words have power only when you let them, but how can you recognize that power when people keep telling you the same thing before you are able to grasp that you can think for yourself? He shows what impact racism had on his life. This is as poignant today as it was in the late 50s early 60s when this book was set.

He also shows how he came to his view on religion, male/female, love, labels, in fact all major aspects of life have been influenced by fear. Fear that was institutionalized by others and especially by ourselves. Basically, to me this is a book that philosophizes how we can free ourselves by freeing ourselves of the fear that holds us back. In fact, I would have loved to see a conversation between him and one of my favorites, Joseph Campbell. I believe that would have been a interesting discussion indeed. :)

How do I rate this book? That is a hard question. I enjoyed the philosophy but the writing was a bit erratic. That could have been purposeful as adolescence does seem very erratic at times. The message still comes through and so because of that I will give it 3 1/2 stars. This is not a book for everyone. Not everyone wants their world questioned. So, bear that in mind.

[Lorenia Arroyo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine trying to fit into a world you do not belong in. Feeling as if the whole world was against you. The shocking moment when your finally realizing you are growing up into manhood. The huge realization to finally growing into a young wise man like Victor Villaseñor living his young 16 years of life and being taught by his dad who immigrated to the United States during the Mexican Revolution. Taking the wise advice from his well experienced dad who simply desires for his son to take the right steps in life. Letting Victor know that even though everyone makes mistakes however it takes one courage to actually admit to them and learn from them.

The hardship of experiencing manhood was never a top Victor wanted to go through, however after turning 16 his father made sure he learned the basic steps to becoming a real man. The embarrassments Victor is put through, for example thedis controlling of his hormones and finding a way to be able to fit in the world that surrounds him. Victor struggles his way through manhood not being able to understand the strange actions from girls and the feeling he gets around them. Letting himself into peer pressure by his so called friends who constantly judge him because of his Mexican heritage in which he was raised in. Victor experiences the most embarrassing moments of the teenage years and starts learning from them to at last realizing what it takes to actually become a man in this world.

The story takes place in North San Diego County in his fathers rancho. The tone that this piece reveals is the sense of naiveness. The character Victor shows a sense of not knowing how to grow and become a man. Due to his fathers manhood ,knowing he went to prison at 13 for stealing $6 worth of copper for his starving family. Victor is expected to someone he really isn't.

The story Crazy Loco Love was very easy to relate because now a days in society it is hard to feel accepted for who you really are. The theme that this memoir portrayed was that it is better to admit and learn from your mistakes than to come up with excuses to make up for your faults. I reccommend this book to those teens who are entering adulthood and still finding who they are in society.

[Yvonne Flores · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up the book without reading the jacket and I thought the book would be mostly about relationships/love because the title is Crazy Loco Love, and I was wrong. The book covers a young man's exploration of his religion/faith and deals with his love of God/Jesus which I was not expecting but appreciated reading. Victor Villasenor is very descriptive, especially when it comes to sex in his writing but I wish he would have controlled himself on the usage of the words "crazyloco" and "carcajadas" because I felt like cringing from the over usage of each word in the book. Towards the last 5 to 7 chapters of the book, he uses the word "crazyloco" a little more sparingly but continues overusing "carcajadas". I appreciate that this book was about finding himself, and the man who he is or is not, but on the very last 2 chapters I was so tired of reading about Papito/God/faith that I found the book uninteresting.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story of Victor Villaseñor's childhood and why he became a writer. This is an excellent book! It is very different from the books he has currently written, and as a book about adolescence, is full of colorful language about what he was going through as a teen and in his early twenties.

[Bliss · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't like to say I "read" a book if I didn't finish it but I have to do it, so I'll remember not to pick it up again if I see it.


Some books just aren't for me. This was one. It just didn't catch my interest fast enough.

[Chirstal Buckley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of Victor Villasenor and I've actually met him on two separate occasions, but this was not my favorite book by him. I think it lacked the magic that his other books tend to carry. At times if felt like he was trying to force the magic, but just didn't have it.

[Marisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

i laughed, i cried, i learned...

[Ronnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had read two of this author's books and liked them very much, so was interested in this one. It started off quite well, but the farther I got into it, the less and less I liked it. Each chapter began in an interesting way and then deteriorated into a rant about his philosophy of life and God and religion. It got very repetitive. I kept hoping for something else, but it continued throughout the book. It took me a long time to finish, which I was determined to do, because it was so easy to put down.

[Pablo · Rating 4 out of 5]

i hate this website i cant read shit

[Barbara · Rating 2 out of 5]

I managed to finish this memoir but found it tedious and overblown. The author overuses all capital letters to convey any strong emotion from orgasms to rage at racism.

[Julie Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Doesn't that description sound great? Coming from no less than the Los Angeles Times! That's what made me want to read and review this book.

I try really hard not to tear books apart; I know that each book is it's author's baby, and even when I point out the flaws, I point out the good as well.

I did not like this book ... at all. It was difficult for me to read, because it was frenetic, full of unnecessary capitalization, and exclamatory to the point of feeling prepubescent.

Victor is 16. His father, a self-made multimillionaire who immigrated to the United States from Mexico during the Mexican Revolution, was put in prison at 13 for stealing $6 worth of copper to help feed his starving family. His father walks him out on the ranch and lets him know that now he is going to have to figure out who he really is in order to be a man.

We then start riding this fast train that reeks of peyote-induced "profound thoughts". There are times when I just shook my head at the prose. I think this could have been a good book if it were written with just a trace of grown-up wisdom or wit.

Tongue-in-cheek (not really) Synopsis:

"Everyone, including the students and professors at my military academy, hate me because I'm just a stupid Mexican. And I hate them because they laughed at my beautiful turquoise truck and now I had it painted white and they still laughed and called it a milk truck. I'm going to go crazyloco and get a gun and shoot them all"

"I took a girl with big beautiful breasts to the dance and while I was defending her honor, she took up with one of my friends and now HE gets to touch her big beautiful breasts. The thought is making me go crazyloco"

"I didn't know I was supposed to masturbate after heavy rounds of petting.. thanks for the advice ... oh! that DOES feel good .. I think I'm going to SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM .. because I'm just crazyloco"

"God is my Father; I shall not sin.. and all of my sins and sinful thoughts are making me CRAZYLOCO"

And we go on pretty much like that; through going to two different colleges, finding out that Victor's cousin is homosexual AND apparently a pedophile, which makes Victor crazyloco with rage, more women (with big breasts and bushes) who make Victor crazyloco with lust, more insights from God, more 'profound' insights which make Victor crazyloco from FINALLY understanding , and ... I don't know .. if it weren't a review book, I wouldn't have gone past the first chapter.

THAT being said, the novel is apparently well-liked in some circles. The reviews are mixed on Amazon, with some in my camp and some in the "this is a wonderful book" camp, so maybe those will help you judge for yourself.

QUOTES:

Walking past the tall white cross with Jesus Christ and His Holy Mother Mary kneeling at the bottom of the cross, I looked up at Jesus and saw all the material gathered about his loins. I wondered why they'd used so much material if it wasn't to hide His erection. Having this thought, I got scared. What was wrong with me? Now I was thinking about God's Only Begotten Son's sex life, too. This proved that I was going bonkers. Sex and love had driven me crazyloco! There was just no getting around it. I had to castrate myself immediately, or next I'd probably start getting the hots for the Virgin Mary.


On if Adam wouldn't have blamed his wife on taken the blame for eating from the tree:

"Then God would've seen that Adam was a stand-up guy," my dad always added, "and He would've been proud of him and shook hands with him, saying, 'What are you drinking, Adam?' Adam would've said, 'Tequila from Los Altos de Jalisco' and God would've said, 'Hey, I've never had tequila. Let me try some.' And so God would have had a couple of good shots with Adam, and we'd all still be in the Garden, laughing and drinking tequila with God."

I really had expected to at least see some kind of concrete distinction between our two countries. Then I saw it clearly. Borders weren't natural. They were man-made. They really were, and so for us to have peace on earth, we had to stop looking at each other across our man-made borders and start looking skyward. Up into the huge vastness of the whole sky, then just like Moses and his thousands of people we, too, could lift up our hearts and souls beyond all our earthly fears and limiting thoughts and simply see ourselves as ONE FAMILIA OF HUMAN BEINGS REACHING FOR THE STARS!

Book Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars (the extra .5 is for the book it could have been)

(I received a copy of this title from the publisher to facilitate my review)

[Rachel Smalter Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

How, at age 20, does an illiterate high-school dropout decide to become the next great writer? CrazyLoco Love tells that story, beginning beneath an old pepper tree on the eve of the author’s sixteenth birthday, and ending four years later at a bookstore in Montana where he clutches a copy of James Joyce’s A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man in his shaking hands.

Victor Villaseñor is a man of shockingly disparate narratives. On the one hand, he grew up the rich kid of first-generation Mexican immigrants, living in the paradise of their multimillion dollar California ranch and honoring his Yaqui grandmother’s cultural history. Yet outside the protective arms of El Rancho, Villaseñor’s peers and educators cruelly abused and humiliated him, perpetuating ugly stereotypes about his Mexican-American heritage until he gradually came to believe them for himself. In CrazyLoco Love, Villaseñor describes how he wrestled with that self-hatred as a teenage boy, eventually realizing that he felt a personal calling to rewrite the Mexican-American narrative--even though he’d never fully learned how to read or write. In this way, CrazyLoco Love is a journey, a coming-of-age story, a quest for manhood replete with dreamlike walkabouts through the jungles of Mexico and the deserts of the American West.

For some, Villaseñor’s language may feel too raw. He writes candidly about his early experiences with love, desire, and religious doubt, evoking the intimate terrain of a pubescent boy’s risqué imagination. For others, though, these rough qualities are exactly what make the book a near-masterpiece. Villaseñor’s Spanish-English blend has a gorgeous lilt, and his love of CAPITALIZATION conveys a youthful exuberance that will make you laugh! His playful braggadocio might come across as cocky or even arrogant, but it’s this reclaiming of his cultural worth that makes this story so special. At it’s heart, CrazyLoco Love is a spiritual tale, exploring the balance between masculine and feminine energies as the author sheds everything he’s ever been taught, looking instead for his elusive center.

[Evanston Public Library]

Crazy Loco Love is Victor Villaseñor’s memoir about his teenage years in a Mexican-American family. But be forewarned about his literary style: Villaseñor capitalizes entire sentences, overuses exclamation points, and is unnervingly repetitive. Philosophical discussions with his mentors are self-aggrandizing; his spiritual beliefs are a weird patchwork of half-baked notions. Yet after I finished reading Crazy Loco Love, what remained was the memory of a highly-amusing tall tale peppered with half-cracked characters in remarkable circumstances…all told with trademark Villaseñor rage, passion, and humor. If you can live with a sophomoric narrative and magical realism in a non-fiction work, you may find Crazy Loco Love well worth the effort. Nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. (Russ K., Ref.)

[KrisT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crazy Loco Love is the story of Victor Villasenor as he searches for meaning in his life. This memoir starts when Victor is a young boy trying to find his way in the U.S. School system that wants him to only speak English. Tripping through his classes and making and losing friends he tries to discover his faith and his place in this society. Much of his story seems to be based on him understanding and misunderstanding everything around him. While this is true for most of us, Victor is very sensitive and cries frequently and is often yelling out his thoughts to the universe. The phrase "Crazy Loco Love" is used so frequently in the dialogue that it's meaning gets lost. Still there are some moments of true discovery. I gave it 3.5 stars.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would've given this 5 stars, and at times, very much enjoyed this book but at other times, found myself wanting to be done with it. It goes on for quite a while. At times, with all the scrambling words and thoughts, I wondered if this weren't a man with schizophrenia writing this. I decided he wasn't, but rather just a writer trying to convey the frenzied feelings about life, sex, women, God, family, etc., that I imagine most people, esp. creative people, have at that time of their life. It was a good book and an enjoyable book, but I was happy to finish I do think it will be a book that stays in my memory for quite a long while.

[Garryvivianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Memoirs written about a young Mexican guy growing up in Southern California. His family was very wealthy, they owned a ranch with horses, he went to a military school & always had the best. However growing up was not easy for him. I guess all teens go through all this drama & fears & anxieties, but I got pretty tired of his always crying at EVERYTHING! What a titty baby!!....and his expression of "crazy loco" really got on my nerves.

[Michael Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Villa Señor's memoir of growing up Latino in the Anglo world of 1950's Southern California is filled with insight that can help us in the early 21st century to more fully appreciate the dynamics of our changing cultural landscape -- and have fun in the process. There are especially poignant gems for male readers of all ages, as well as for those who would better understand the coming of age of young men.

[Bubbles by Char · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book already. Just after the first few pages I was so emotional I had to stop reading to calm down. Victor Villasenor is one of my favorite authors. Ok. I finished last week. I loved this book. He is hysterical. And not meaning to be funny. If you know anything about the Mexican culture this is a must read.

[Carolina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice coming of age story, with great bi-cultural and bi-lingual themes. Some of the back and forth arguments between Victor and his priest, Victor and his college professor, etc., went on a little long for my impatient brain. I hope this book reaches many Mexican-American kids struggling with identity issues or an anti-immigrant climate.

[Celina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the typical Villasenor journey...he does a better job writing about his family than himself. Crazyloco is written in an adolescent vernacular and a slower-paced read than usual; however, if you stick with it until the end, it's worth it. I'd recommend taking it in small servings rather than trying to finish it all at once.

[Anabel · Rating 5 out of 5]

As you can see I am loyal to Victor Villasenor. This book is a biography of his memories growing up in California, searching for his Mexican-American identity. He was always surrounded by the image of Mexicans being dirty and dumb.

[Lina Aguilar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. I am learning about the power of faith and to not have guilt for the desires that I have. And to continue questioning my beliefs. Socrates quote comes to mind, "an unexamined life is not worth living".

[Victor Medel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book which defines and depicts the strugle that all of us encounter when trying to find who we are in life, I just wished this book was out a lot earlier in my life. I could of used this as a guide.

[Kappy]

REcommended by my friend Penny

[Jude · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compared to Steinbeck in reviews. Original voice. Maybe too metaphysical for some, but I loved it. Perfect for reading during our Mexican vacation.

[Susana Benavidez · Rating 5 out of 5]

inspiring

I can always find inspiration in Villaseñor's words to write my own stories. Thank you for spreading your passion without fear.

[Mr. Lancaster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Philosophically brilliant, with so many wonderfully insightful passages. Victor Villasenor is a modern literary genius!

[Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exhilaratingly passionate.