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It Only Hurts at First
Alice Matthews used to be one of those girls. Pretty, popular, perfect. Now, she's that girl. Armed with oversized sweatshirts to cover the scars on her wrists, Alice has two objectives in high school. First, avoid Scott Henderson at all costs. Second, avoid everyone else.
By now, Scott’s unwanted advances shouldn’t come as a surprise. But when he steps up his harassment in gym class, the last person Alice expects to intervene is the school’s social pariah, Hunter Thomas.
Hunter doesn’t care about much. Not his classmates. Not the vacant seats at his lunch table. And certainly not his golden boy stepbrother, Scott. Alice Matthews, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.
Drawn together, Alice and Hunter find fragile solace in each other. But despite their affinity, Alice worries that their growing feelings will lead nowhere good. Not when Hunter lives down the hall from the one person she has sworn to avoid, someone who could easily reveal everything she’s been trying to hide.
By now, Scott’s unwanted advances shouldn’t come as a surprise. But when he steps up his harassment in gym class, the last person Alice expects to intervene is the school’s social pariah, Hunter Thomas.
Hunter doesn’t care about much. Not his classmates. Not the vacant seats at his lunch table. And certainly not his golden boy stepbrother, Scott. Alice Matthews, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.
Drawn together, Alice and Hunter find fragile solace in each other. But despite their affinity, Alice worries that their growing feelings will lead nowhere good. Not when Hunter lives down the hall from the one person she has sworn to avoid, someone who could easily reveal everything she’s been trying to hide.
299 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 10, 2023
455 people are currently reading
8681 people want to read
About the author
Allison Rogers
1 book90 followersAllison Rogers began creating stories at a young age. She and her brother would sit cross-legged for hours, immersed in their made-up worlds and multidimensional characters. Since then, Allison has always been a sucker for tragic outsiders, a sardonic sense of humor, and absorbing portrayals of growing up. Now, as an adult, she has moved on from daydreaming to writing YA novels. Allison lives in New England with her husband. They share an allergy to cats and dogs, which most people find heartbreaking, but also kind of romantic.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 312 reviews
April 8, 2023
i couldn’t put this book down, it was incredible, it talks about difficult and triggering topics, the characters were written well, i felt all the emotions while reading it and some chapters i felt like i couldn’t breathe, the ending was done well and i loved reading it, i will definitely be reading this again
October 21, 2023
I actually really liked this 🥹 but my rating is kinda low because there was literally no ending.
Like .. we reached the peak and then it ended. I needed more. There was no type of closure, not even in the epilogue.. I still have so many questions. And I found myself kind of bored in some moments because it just felt like there were a bunch of filler scenes. Could've used that time to give us more context.. or more drama idk
Like .. we reached the peak and then it ended. I needed more. There was no type of closure, not even in the epilogue.. I still have so many questions. And I found myself kind of bored in some moments because it just felt like there were a bunch of filler scenes. Could've used that time to give us more context.. or more drama idk
February 24, 2023
Holy hell. This is was so good.
Before I begin, please let me make this very clear. The TWS in this book are INSANE
Here are some, but not all
*Rape, suicide, anxiety, panic attacks, mental illnesses, assault, depression, self harm*
(Spoilers mentioned in the very end of this review)
Despite all these TWS, I think has become my comfort book. I'm honestly lost for words here because I want to talk about so much, so here is my mess of a review.
I loved the writing style. This is your debut novel, right? Because if so, I am completely shocked. I would expect this writing to come from a seasoned writer.
I currently feel like one of those people who just discovered a book worthy of being a bookseller. I want to gatekeep, but at the same time, I want the entire world to know about this.
This book had two tropes I swore against- insta love and miscommunication. But I still love it so much. So much. I cannot put it into words. It gave me such comfort. Her journey, Hunter's journey...it was all just so brilliant.
One thing tho, I really, really hope the author does not market this as a romance. I don't want an it ends with us pt2. It is so much bigger than a romance. It has some heavy stuff. I knew what I got myself into but it still hurt. Tears were shed. This was an emotional read.
And of course, the cutesy scenes were cute. They gave me all the feels. I just genuinely felt so happy for Alice and Hunter. After the world gave them all the shit it had to offer, they finally found each other. It was beautiful.
I did like that at the end, it wasn't like she was magically healed. The monsters were still there, but she was stronger.
One of my favorite characters (other than the two main characters) was Chris. He was just so amazing throughout the book. I lived his humor, he was always there for Alice. Again, just so comforting
Although I kinda guessed at the plot twist due to all the TWs, the details of it were still a shock- and just as heartbreaking.
Now, due to the amount of TWS in this, I may have missed some harmful bits in the book. No doubt, there's a possibility I missed something major. If so, I apologize
And again, please, if you're not in a good mental space or are easily triggered, please please do not read this. It's going to break you. Please.
That being said, I loved every bit of this book. The characters- I just, I'm speechless. This will be a book I'll forever reread. Thank you, Allison.
If I have to complain, id change the age of the fmc. Sixteen is WAY too young.
I received this book through Voracious Readers Only, in exchange for a review. I am leaving this review voluntarily
EVERYTHING I SAY FROM THIS POINT IS A SPOILER. PLS LOOK AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT THE SPOILERS.
The rape scene and suicide attempt scene was so painful. It felt like I was right there. I sobbed during the entirety of those scenes. Her feelings, her anxiety- I felt all of it. Not to mention, when she told her family about the rape, and their reactions - it was so heartbreaking
was Scott officially punished?? I know he's no longer in the school, but did he go to jail. If not, I can see how this could be harmful:/
Before I begin, please let me make this very clear. The TWS in this book are INSANE
Here are some, but not all
*Rape, suicide, anxiety, panic attacks, mental illnesses, assault, depression, self harm*
(Spoilers mentioned in the very end of this review)
Despite all these TWS, I think has become my comfort book. I'm honestly lost for words here because I want to talk about so much, so here is my mess of a review.
I loved the writing style. This is your debut novel, right? Because if so, I am completely shocked. I would expect this writing to come from a seasoned writer.
I currently feel like one of those people who just discovered a book worthy of being a bookseller. I want to gatekeep, but at the same time, I want the entire world to know about this.
This book had two tropes I swore against- insta love and miscommunication. But I still love it so much. So much. I cannot put it into words. It gave me such comfort. Her journey, Hunter's journey...it was all just so brilliant.
One thing tho, I really, really hope the author does not market this as a romance. I don't want an it ends with us pt2. It is so much bigger than a romance. It has some heavy stuff. I knew what I got myself into but it still hurt. Tears were shed. This was an emotional read.
And of course, the cutesy scenes were cute. They gave me all the feels. I just genuinely felt so happy for Alice and Hunter. After the world gave them all the shit it had to offer, they finally found each other. It was beautiful.
I did like that at the end, it wasn't like she was magically healed. The monsters were still there, but she was stronger.
One of my favorite characters (other than the two main characters) was Chris. He was just so amazing throughout the book. I lived his humor, he was always there for Alice. Again, just so comforting
Although I kinda guessed at the plot twist due to all the TWs, the details of it were still a shock- and just as heartbreaking.
Now, due to the amount of TWS in this, I may have missed some harmful bits in the book. No doubt, there's a possibility I missed something major. If so, I apologize
And again, please, if you're not in a good mental space or are easily triggered, please please do not read this. It's going to break you. Please.
That being said, I loved every bit of this book. The characters- I just, I'm speechless. This will be a book I'll forever reread. Thank you, Allison.
If I have to complain, id change the age of the fmc. Sixteen is WAY too young.
I received this book through Voracious Readers Only, in exchange for a review. I am leaving this review voluntarily
EVERYTHING I SAY FROM THIS POINT IS A SPOILER. PLS LOOK AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT THE SPOILERS.
The rape scene and suicide attempt scene was so painful. It felt like I was right there. I sobbed during the entirety of those scenes. Her feelings, her anxiety- I felt all of it. Not to mention, when she told her family about the rape, and their reactions - it was so heartbreaking
was Scott officially punished?? I know he's no longer in the school, but did he go to jail. If not, I can see how this could be harmful:/
July 18, 2024
they dont get me like u do alice matthews
March 5, 2024
2⭐️!
I really didn’t enjoy this book. At first it was alright then it just became super repetitive and stereotypical. It felt very Wattpad like and felt like a highschool in the 90s instead of today.
While this did cover some serious topics, it felt like while it was supposed to be the forefront of the book, everything got pushed aside until it was convenient for the romance.
This has the potential to be amazing but just fell extremely flat.
I really didn’t enjoy this book. At first it was alright then it just became super repetitive and stereotypical. It felt very Wattpad like and felt like a highschool in the 90s instead of today.
While this did cover some serious topics, it felt like while it was supposed to be the forefront of the book, everything got pushed aside until it was convenient for the romance.
This has the potential to be amazing but just fell extremely flat.
August 27, 2024
Spoiler warning!!!
*********************
Let me preface this by saying that my personal experiences and thoughts obviously went into my rating, so my opinion might not match yours.
Some parts of this story were definitely cute and wholesome, but it just didn't catch me.
The beginning was nice, I initially wanted to read this book because of the very first sentence (booktok trolled me once again) but also because there are very serious topics discussed here and me and books about mental illnesses have a gravitational relationship.
However, the way these topics were handled sometimes seemed like they were an inconvenience on the side.
Throughout the book, said topics just didn't catch my attention because they were almost normalised and romanticized. Now, as a teenager who struggles as well and who also jokes about it etc I could understand it, but what one says and what one thinks are two completely different things.
And for the main character here, it seemed to almost be the same.
Truthfully, the only thing that stirred any emotions was her standing up and clarifying her story of being raped because that was the build-up the readers had been waiting for.
The ending seemed accidental, like it wasn't thought through entirely. It gave the impression that after the speech, everything was fine and dandy, especially in terms of the self harm and depression caused by the rape. I understand that epilogues are supposed to be all happy and sort of hint the future, but it all seemed rather unresolved.
*********************
Let me preface this by saying that my personal experiences and thoughts obviously went into my rating, so my opinion might not match yours.
Some parts of this story were definitely cute and wholesome, but it just didn't catch me.
The beginning was nice, I initially wanted to read this book because of the very first sentence (booktok trolled me once again) but also because there are very serious topics discussed here and me and books about mental illnesses have a gravitational relationship.
However, the way these topics were handled sometimes seemed like they were an inconvenience on the side.
Throughout the book, said topics just didn't catch my attention because they were almost normalised and romanticized. Now, as a teenager who struggles as well and who also jokes about it etc I could understand it, but what one says and what one thinks are two completely different things.
And for the main character here, it seemed to almost be the same.
Truthfully, the only thing that stirred any emotions was her standing up and clarifying her story of being raped because that was the build-up the readers had been waiting for.
The ending seemed accidental, like it wasn't thought through entirely. It gave the impression that after the speech, everything was fine and dandy, especially in terms of the self harm and depression caused by the rape. I understand that epilogues are supposed to be all happy and sort of hint the future, but it all seemed rather unresolved.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 30, 2024
this book is literally the first book i have finished in one day for MONTHS!!!! it’s a mix of The way i used to be-girl in pieces-if he had been with me. ITS THAT KIND OF VIBE BUT! hear me out! THE LOVE !!! hunter and alice is my new roman empire. i love them and i will be reading hunters pov when it comes out! read it i beg of you! it talks about difficult and triggering topics, the characters were written well, i felt all the emotions while reading it and some chapters i felt like i couldn't breathe, the ending was … to be discussed, i kind of wanted and expected more.but i will be buying every book she writes!
July 31, 2025
I was hoping to enjoy this book more, but unfortunately I didn’t. The writing felt like something from Wattpad
July 7, 2025
31/2 ⭐️
ended a bit abruptly it was like we got to the height of the story and she decided to just leave it off there. loved everything else about it tho.
ended a bit abruptly it was like we got to the height of the story and she decided to just leave it off there. loved everything else about it tho.
January 20, 2025
I really liked this book. It deals with some very heavy topics but does it in a way to encourage thought. It deals with the effect of bulking, the way self harm can become the only comfort and the insight in to the world of a tea age girl struggling with the cards she has been dealt. It also deals with rape in a sensitive and unfortunately accurate way. Not just in the way that it happened but also with the fallout and aftermath of Alice going public. It really got me thinking and I truly did love this book
June 7, 2024
2.5
I really, really wanted to love this one, and while it discussed some super heart wrenching topics, it was also just wayy too cliche. I felt like the serious topics were supposed to be the forefront of the book, but they weren’t fleshed out and just a plot device. The end wasn’t satisfying enough for me, I needed more closure, like more Hunter and Alice pls. Idk it was okay but just rushed. I LOVE Chris though he is the best brother
I really, really wanted to love this one, and while it discussed some super heart wrenching topics, it was also just wayy too cliche. I felt like the serious topics were supposed to be the forefront of the book, but they weren’t fleshed out and just a plot device. The end wasn’t satisfying enough for me, I needed more closure, like more Hunter and Alice pls. Idk it was okay but just rushed. I LOVE Chris though he is the best brother
March 1, 2023
Loved this book! Not as graphic as some books that deal with the same topics, it was an easier read because of it. I didn't want to put it down until I finished it. I look forward to reading more books by this author.
I received a free copy from Voracious Readers Only and this is my unbiased review.
I received a free copy from Voracious Readers Only and this is my unbiased review.
June 4, 2024
There was literally no ending to this book. Alice revealed this huge secret and then the book just ended… I felt like we didn’t even get like the true insights on Alice’s depression. This story lacked in so many departments
June 27, 2023
Really good but the ending felt so rushed
April 7, 2024
Beautifully written - some elements remind me of the movie "Promising Young Woman"
May 30, 2024
The ending was too abrupt, like literally what.
February 16, 2023
I received an advance review copy for free through Book Sirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily; my opinion is my own.
Allison Rogers, I believe you have become my new favorite author. I so hope that this book releases in a physical copy because I will read this over and over and over! There’s many times where I wished I could highlight a lot of Alice’s inner dialogue. I’ve never related to a fictional character so closely!
I couldn’t stop reading from start to finish! Realistic characters, amazing storytelling, important message & beautiful ending. I would love to read this book from Hunter’s POV with a little expansion on what fate befell on Scott & how “they(parents, school, law? Alice’s family, etc.)” came to that conclusion for him.
Thank you for this book! I will recommend it endlessly.
Allison Rogers, I believe you have become my new favorite author. I so hope that this book releases in a physical copy because I will read this over and over and over! There’s many times where I wished I could highlight a lot of Alice’s inner dialogue. I’ve never related to a fictional character so closely!
I couldn’t stop reading from start to finish! Realistic characters, amazing storytelling, important message & beautiful ending. I would love to read this book from Hunter’s POV with a little expansion on what fate befell on Scott & how “they(parents, school, law? Alice’s family, etc.)” came to that conclusion for him.
Thank you for this book! I will recommend it endlessly.
January 23, 2023
What happened at that crazy party
Alice used to be cool, fashionable, charming..... Then something happened and she went all EMO and was now distant, annoyed, and sad.
When you find a boy who is interested in the real you hold in tight. What happened to Alice unfortunately happened to a lot of girls and goes unpunished. The bullying happens and no one steps in to stop it. Everyone wants to be liked and accepted even when they say they don't.
I love Alice. She is exactly who she needs to be. The change in her means of sense. I love Hunter and the fact be is patient and gentle with Alice.
Rating 4 Stars
Alice used to be cool, fashionable, charming..... Then something happened and she went all EMO and was now distant, annoyed, and sad.
When you find a boy who is interested in the real you hold in tight. What happened to Alice unfortunately happened to a lot of girls and goes unpunished. The bullying happens and no one steps in to stop it. Everyone wants to be liked and accepted even when they say they don't.
I love Alice. She is exactly who she needs to be. The change in her means of sense. I love Hunter and the fact be is patient and gentle with Alice.
Rating 4 Stars
January 4, 2025
I had never heard of this book until I stumbled upon on my kindle. And I am so glad I did. I loved every part of it man.
I hate how we never got to see what happened between them after she told everyone what actual happened with Scott. I would’ve liked to read about it.
But either way, I think I’m gonna reread this again one day. It was really good.
I hate how we never got to see what happened between them after she told everyone what actual happened with Scott. I would’ve liked to read about it.
But either way, I think I’m gonna reread this again one day. It was really good.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 10, 2025
I really wanted to love this book but then I saw a review saying the writing style is like a wattpad story and I couldn't agree more 😭.
As someone who reads books where mental health is discussed heavily, I was satisfied with how Alice's relationship with self harm was presented but also disappointed with the ending after she revealed Scott raping her.
There was nothing after that scene to suggest Scott was punished or Alice got any help for her self harm or for being a SA victim let alone how Hunter spoke to her for the first time after finding out the news. The epilogue not only makes the ending rushed but also anticlimactic since the author brushed past a potential recovery journey for Alice and instead had a random 2 month time skip to prom? Seems irrelevant to me and felt like the author didn't have an idea how to end the book
The idea of the book was there and I enjoyed being able to hate Scott and love Hunter and his friends through Alice's eyes but the writing style NEEDSSS to be fixed with a better developed time line of the plot as well as an actual ending. I would've preferred a rehab session with a cliffhanger between Alice and Hunter to perhaps think of writing a second book or at least have an open ending instead of a "happy epilogue" which makes an unclear ending.
As someone who reads books where mental health is discussed heavily, I was satisfied with how Alice's relationship with self harm was presented but also disappointed with the ending after she revealed Scott raping her.
There was nothing after that scene to suggest Scott was punished or Alice got any help for her self harm or for being a SA victim let alone how Hunter spoke to her for the first time after finding out the news. The epilogue not only makes the ending rushed but also anticlimactic since the author brushed past a potential recovery journey for Alice and instead had a random 2 month time skip to prom? Seems irrelevant to me and felt like the author didn't have an idea how to end the book
The idea of the book was there and I enjoyed being able to hate Scott and love Hunter and his friends through Alice's eyes but the writing style NEEDSSS to be fixed with a better developed time line of the plot as well as an actual ending. I would've preferred a rehab session with a cliffhanger between Alice and Hunter to perhaps think of writing a second book or at least have an open ending instead of a "happy epilogue" which makes an unclear ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 14, 2023
i literally loved this book. i thought the plot was so good and my stomach would drop at points and i would be actually smiling at other parts. i also cried and related to the main character and although i didn’t like some of the authors writing style, i still thought it was amazing.
June 3, 2025
2.5
“Hunter, I’m—” He tumbled into me, wrapping both arms around me as he pressed his quivering lips into my hair. “Don’t you dare, Alice,” he whispered, and the apology brimming on my lips died before it reached the air between us.
That broke my heart that one part
Nothing else to say
“Hunter, I’m—” He tumbled into me, wrapping both arms around me as he pressed his quivering lips into my hair. “Don’t you dare, Alice,” he whispered, and the apology brimming on my lips died before it reached the air between us.
That broke my heart that one part
Nothing else to say
March 10, 2023
Rollercoaster of emotions, attention grabbing. Not someone beautifully written like Kathleen Glasgow but still as captivating
September 16, 2024
This was such a heart wrenching read and captivating read at the same time. I couldn’t put the book down at all. Such a heavy topic but beautifully written
October 9, 2024
3.5⭐️
Thought this was going to be at least a 4.5 the whole way through, but the ending felt so rushed😭
Thought this was going to be at least a 4.5 the whole way through, but the ending felt so rushed😭
December 19, 2024
(4/5) i rly liked it. alice was rly rly relatable and hunter, ugh. he deserved the world!!
December 21, 2024
Incredibly written, I hate that I waited so long to read this! I couldn’t put it down once I started I loved it!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 312 reviews