Am I Messing Up My Kids?: ...and Other Questions Every Mom Asks

by Lysa TerKeurst

Lysa TerKeurst, mother of five and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, knows about the bouts of “mommy stress” that come with parenting and managing a home and a life. From her own experience and conversations with hundreds of other women, Lysa shares how mothers can release the guilt they sometimes feel and Overflowing with practical ideas, short Bible studies, and plenty of encouragement, this inspiring resource will help moms to realize that―with God’s wisdom and mercy―they can experience peace and satisfaction while raising their kids. Rerelease of The Bathtub Is Overflowing but I Feel Drained

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Faith, Self Help, Family

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times best-selling author of Univited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave, and 18 other books. Her newest book, It’s Not Supposed to be This Way, is scheduled for release in November of 2018. Lysa was recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award and has been published in multiple publications such as CNN and Fox News online. Additionally, she has appeared on the Today Show as one of the leading voices in the Christian community.

Each year, Lysa is a featured keynote presenter at more than 40 events across North America, including the Women of Joy Conferences and the Catalyst Leadership Conference. She has a passion for equipping women to share their stories for God's glory through Proverbs 31 Ministries' annual She Speaks Conference and writer training program, COMPEL: Words That Move People.

Connect with Lysa on social media @lysaterkeurst or at http://lysaterkeurst.com/.

Reviews

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently reading & participating in an on-line study @ proverbs31.org it has bee fantastic so far. #imperfectmoms

[Caroline · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finally gave up. It was so repetitive...Good idea for a blog, not great for a book.

[Lizz Bramble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love loved this book!!! It’s the best parenting/motherhood book I’ve read. It’s broken up nicely into short, easy to digest, devotional like chapters that have one focus with examples from Lysa’s own motherhood journey. Each chapter is followed by reflection questions and verses that build one the concept of the chapter and help you go deeper. I will reread this book over and over again!!

[Chloe (Always Booked) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book on audio and I definitely think this is one I want to go back through physically because there are a lot of scriptures and things to journal about that sounded helpful. There was nothing super stand out about this but a good reminder in the Biblical interpretation of motherhood and the goal for raising kids!

[Lisa Lou · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 Stars

[Kate Hyde · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite paragraph from this book, from the chapter "How Do I Resign from the Mommy Guilt Club?":

"I will no longer be fooled into thinking that my kids came to me good and anything bad they do is a reflection of my poor mothering. No, kids are bad when they come to us. They have the same sin nature that causes you and me to sin, and they need a Savior just as much as we do. How else do you explain that sometimes great parents have a rotten child and rotten parents have a great child? I mean, even God, the perfect parent, had Adam and Eve, who had to be sent to the most serious time-out of them all...all the way out of the Garden! Therefore, instead of pointing the finger at myself when they act bad or make poor choices, I will point them toward their heavenly Father. I will assess what correction the kids need and administer that, but I will not let my kids' poor choices define me as a mother."

I needed to hear that!

This book, while a pretty easy read, is actually a Bible study. At the end of each short chapter (30 in all, so if you read one chapter a day, you'll knock it out in a month), there are scriptures to look up and questions to answer. Not every chapter is mind-blowing, but in general, this book is awesome. The author makes you feel like you're sitting down and having a conversation with a good friend. She includes personal stories as well as Bible stories to illustrate her points.

If you're a frazzled mom, pick up this book for some quick encouragement in-between all the craziness!

[Christine Lussier · Rating 2 out of 5]

So clearly I should have read the reviews before reading the book(for th record, I still haven't, but will). A good book, has nothing to do with messing up your kids, which is clearly stated at the beginning(author states this is not a book on how to be a great parent). She writes little chapter about things which have happened to them as a family/things she has said & done, or wishes she had said/done. It is highly religious, which took me by surprise (again, saw the book recommended by a friend on fb, didn't read anything about it). While this did not bother me, I do have friends who would be highly offended by it.

It was ok, a quick read. I tested out the kindle version borrowed from our library, which worked out great.

[Constance · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for encouraging mothers to know that no matter how much we feel like we are screwing up our children we are all doing the best we can. Also a great easy read to grab when you only have a few moments and need a word to get you through.

[Laura Quijas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Lysa , her books , her family and ministry and especially her vulnerability. In this book/workbook she helped me value motherhood, to stop and appreciate all the little things and to lean not on my own understanding but on God’s. It was a book I started before quarantine and had time to really reflect and finish it during quarantine. It’s an older writing of hers but completely relevant today, even more so now with this reset we’ve been given in 2020.

[Madeline]

Such a good read for the season of life I am in right now. I listened on audiobook but want to get the physical copy so I can underline and look up the scripture she references.

[Kimberlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did this study with a friend remotely. I loved it. I felt it was authentic, and I felt the Scriptures (a lot of Psalms) fit the chapters. Actually the Bible study section at the end of each chapter was my favorite part of the book. Like the title, each chapter was a question. I am torn as to who to pass this excellent book on to. There were supplements (emails, blogs, videos) that were going on through Proverbs 31 Woman, but honestly I did not avail myself to most of these. I have three teens, and I think this book is more geared to parents of younger kids, but again I got a lot out of it. "My kids do not feel guilty when they watch me do chores, so why should I feel guilty when they are contributing to our family and household?" (not a direct quote). I also liked the challenge she gave that many Christian teenagers leave the faith when they go to college, because they have not seen how it has impacted their parents and families. Also, the chapter on boundaries reminded me again that prioritizing life beyond kids, like being a wife, a friend, etc., is so important infused into the balancing act that is my life. Thanks, TerKeurst, for this small look into your parenting process and into His direction book with really practical, timely principles to consider.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wonderful. All of Lysa's books are, really. And the "Am I Messing Up My kids" part is really tongue in cheek for something all of us wonder, I suspect. What sticks with me, weeks after finishing it, is that our children are really God's children, and although we can make errors or parent badly at times, ultimately, we are exactly the parents that God intended for the children he gave us. I guess the only crux of that, for me, is how would children in bad/abusive situations fit into this mold? But I still think that the gist of the book is a good one. That when we start wondering about how we are doing, that leaning on God is the right thing for us to do. He will guide our steps. And I also took away a great desire to be more intentional in cherishing the smaller moments of motherhood, as I have already realized how fast all those small moments pass.

[Kai · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title makes you chuckle because every mom at one point or another has asked herself that question! I followed the reading of this book with the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study. We covered it in six weeks. I thought this was an easy read. I found it to be full of wisdom, charming, relevant, real, and freeing! At the end of each chapter, there were scripture references and questions to align your heart with the Lord's. Great book to read and would definitely recommend it to every mom I know and every soon-to-be-mom!

[Jessica Pool · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great encouragement for moms

It took me awhile to actually finish this book and I wondered at first had I gotten much out of it. However when j went back through my notes I realized that there were many pearls of wisdom gleamed front this light read. So I reread most of it! It was so encouraging. As a mom of 6 it is easy to feel like I am completely messing them up sometimes but ultimately God is in control and has a great plan for my kids and I. We all need to be reminded of this at times.

[Theodene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoy real life experiences included in the points and ideas in this book. Not only are they very real, but extremely relevant and totally situations I find myself in right now! The scriptures to back up examples are also very useful. Absolutely recommend to anyone raising children of any age.

[Lewanda Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! The author provides a lighthearted approach to parenting to which practically any mother can relate. She provides insight on topics that "real" parents face and gives lots of encouragement through God's word. It can even be used as a Bible study because of the way the author structures book: questions for Bible-based reflection and journaling, short chapters, real-life application...

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful book by Lysa TerKeurst! This is my third book I've read by her, although an older publication. As is typical of Lysa, this book contains beautiful Biblical truths and encouragement in her very personal and down to earth manner. Each chapter ends with personal application scripture and questions and can be used as a devotional/study type book if that is what is desired.

[Denise Romero · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this bible study. It helps to know I am not the only one that feels that I am sometimes failing as a mom. Parenthood can feel overwhelming at times and Lysa gives good biblical advice to help in those times.

[Brenda Wharton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for moms, especially those with young kids. She helps to encourage moms in all seasons of life and looks into topics like... Am I messing up my kids? Could I be the worst mom ever? Did I really just say that? What do I do when life gets yucky? Lots of great advice for moms

[Just a person · Rating 5 out of 5]

Down to earth and realistic. Gives me great things to think about, all from her personal experience and stuff she has been learning from God. It is like a bible study. A chapter and then some verses and questions at the end of each. This was a welcome surprise.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book as a study and the style of writing. I went through this at my own pace and loved the stories she weaved of her own experiences in motherhood, to her insights and the scripture she provided. The questions were thought-provoking and led to some great study time.

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm sad to say I did not enjoy this book. I know there is an audience for her philosophy here, but I am just at a different place in life I guess. IMO women worry too much and keep their children dependent on them because of their own issues. That's the real way we're screwing up our kids.

[Danise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts definitely struck nerves with me, and it wasn't a bad book by any means... it just wasn't quite what I thought it would be. Definitely wasn't a parental advice book, more of a "feel good" you're not alone and your kids will be fine thing.

[Roxanne Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing devotional for moms! I'm actually sad I finished it. Each chapter starts with a devotional passage and concludes with a short section called "Refresh My Soul" with Bible passages and journal prompts - perfect for a daily devotion. Loved it!

[Julia Reffner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without a doubt one of my favorite parenting reads ever. This book is more Bible study than book, but I LOVED it. Must-read for moms, review to come.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

another book to glean coping mechanisms from...or should I say encouragement to embrace my life??? ;)

[Lisa Tomarelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always, Lysa is relatable with practical examples and advice from her own experiences. Recommend it!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It is positive, uplifting & encouraging to moms. The chapters are short, so it's very manageable to read a chapter per day. I will definitely read more of her books!

[Amy Flickinger]

awesome book. loved the scripture in the book. would definitely recommend this to read....

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great bible study for moms!